🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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I see he's finally admitting to "sleeping at the airport" as the explanation for why it takes him days to travel between cities. We knew it already, of course, but it's nice when he owns himself. Poor Ralph wishes he was rich enough to travel from one place to another in a few hours like a normal person without needing to sleep at airports.
 
Thorndyke Special said:
I see he's finally admitting to "sleeping at the airport" as the explanation for why it takes him days to travel between cities. We knew it already, of course, but it's nice when he owns himself. Poor Ralph wishes he was rich enough to travel from one place to another in a few hours like a normal person without needing to sleep at airports.
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I'd love to know the real reason why it's a goddamn journey when he flies to the US now. I'd legitimately neck myself if it took 3-5 days to complete a trip that can be accomplished in 6 hours. A lounge makes long layovers more tolerable, but he can't afford that either. I suspect he may have been barred from certain airports or airlines related to his sperging in August.
 
Haru Okumura said:
It wouldn't be a real trip to California without Ethan finding some new way to seriously injure himself. This time, Ethan fell asleep at the airport and gave himself compressive radial neuropathy, colloquially known as 'Saturday night palsy':
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https://archive.ph/HB8wA

By far the most common cause of this specific injury is being too drunk to correct your posture while asleep:
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https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12188953/

The absolute irony of losing the ability to stick out his thumb, out of literally any possible injury, while halfway through a trip to see Faith Vickers is quite profound:
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https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK557520/

Luckily for him, the compressive form of radial neuropathy almost always fully heals with supportive treatment and time (generally only the humeral fracture form is permanent) so he'll be back to sniffing awful things again in only a few months.
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I cannot fathom a more embarrassing story, especially for a near-40 year old adult.

Too drunk, slept on hand, temporarily disabled-- all because he had to sleep in an airport terminal like a literal bum and can't go a single day without numbing his eternal, endless suffering with some chemical concoction.

Five star days, indeed!
 
Balldo's Gate said:
Aaron's ex-wife has expressed an interest in traveling to Merida for an in-studio interview with Ralph, though she also just said she "would love to be" Nick Rekieta's wife so she may not be in the running for Baby Mama #3

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When she posted that, my first thought was that she was talking about drugs, not travel.

HackerX said:
I'd love to know the real reason why it's a goddamn journey when he flies to the US now. I'd legitimately neck myself if it took 3-5 days to complete a trip that can be accomplished in 6 hours. A lounge makes long layovers more tolerable, but he can't afford that either. I suspect he may have been barred from certain airports or airlines related to his sperging in August.
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I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a passport and can't fly directly into the US. And of course he's poor, too.
 
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Like I've said before, Ralph's got the heart of a gunt, the liver of an alcoholic, the brain of swiss cheese, and now the arm of a cripple.
 
See now if he wasn't such a broke bitch this could have all been avoided by not having to spend hours sitting in various airports and riding the budget bus to his destination

Suffa Piggy
 
One good eye and one good arm left. If only Piggertits isn't a dirt broke pig with quadruple titties and bifurcated gunt, he would've not sleep in the airport like those people that slept in the airports because they can't deport back to their home or other cities. Piggy is a retarded nigger that always pilling himself and dose himself in alcohol and seething at ayylawgs and the Kino Casino.

It'll heal, but piggy is broke, so we'll see.
 
"another part of my body is giving up, i may be stuck in a wheelchair and may be on dialysis with both my legs amputated, but at least i'm not joshua conner moon.

lol"
 
Haru Okumura said:
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Knowing Ralph’s copium gland is 5x larger than the average manlets, makes me think he could have something more serious.
Like this fat fuck has actually puked up blood and coped that it’s totally normal to vomit black ooze. + Ralph is afraid of doctors same way he’s afraid of child support or metokurs house.
 
Balldo's Gate said:
Aaron's ex-wife has expressed an interest in traveling to Merida for an in-studio interview with Ralph, though she also just said she "would love to be" Nick Rekieta's wife so she may not be in the running for Baby Mama #3
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He think she's a 9/10, there is a 100% chance that piggy will make a move and it blows up in this fat, quadruple-titties-having face.

Haru Okumura said:
By far the most common cause of this specific injury is being too drunk to correct your posture while asleep:
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Suffah, Ralph.
 
Null said:
one day soon ralph is just going to fall asleep and not wake up
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I think there are a lot of people like me who are pretty surprised it hasn't happened these past couple years. A small part of me holds out hope that it's because Ralph is meant for something greater, like an Odd Couple arc with Dax after he gets pinched with a bunch of dope and flees the country his daddy gave him as well.
 
I like to imagine that when he finally passes and they throw him in a communal grave that many days later a cornfield shall grow upon the site of his burial. And it shall be good, thank you Corn Gods.
 
break these cuffs said:
I think there are a lot of people like me who are pretty surprised it hasn't happened these past couple years. A small part of me holds out hope that it's because Ralph is meant for something greater, like an Odd Couple arc with Dax after he gets pinched with a bunch of dope and flees the country his daddy gave him as well.
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he's still relatively young. it's shocking he's under 50, nevermind 40. he's basically burned all his youth on the pyre for a few more drinks and it's obvious he's running out of rope.
 
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