Lolcow one liners you always remember - When your brain frequently blurts out a quote from a cow

[invisibult plus+]

“I don't want to be turned into a hamburger.” - Pixyteri

 

[Meat Target]

Not really a one-liner, but Patrick Tomlinson's posts are made in the exact same way so consistently that it might as well be.

"No, child". In the faggy Josiah 5 voice.

Josiah 5 was the apex of Fatrick.
"Shut your FUCKING MOUTH!" and "blaaaah, blaaaah, blah blah blah! Blahblahblah? Blahblahblah!"

 

[Dr. Sexbot]

The CIA niggers glow in the dark, you can see 'em if you're driving, you just run them over, that's what you do.

 

[Dufe]

"Its  impossible to do. The game is fucking bugged. Buncha losers!" Darksydefool

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Not really a full blown lolcow but "If you swing at the king, you best not miss," from Theft King will always be with me.

 

[Medic]

Blue Spike: "Did you shit your pants again Chris?"

Grunts and sighs

CwC: "Maybe"

 

[Bibendum]

"MAH ARRIVAL IS IMMINENT" - Ralph

I think of this every time I text someone that I'm on my way.

 

[mrfresh]

JULAY-CWC

 

[Caligura]

LEGAL MINDSET?! LEGAL MINDSET?!!?!

 

[Disastrously Dumb]

I am not a pornographer - Christian weston chandler after taking pics of Snyder's daughter.

 

[Monkey Shoulder]

YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
- Fedsmoker

 

[Markass the Worst]

"i am a proud democratic socialist who will never molest anyone of any age" - Ivy / weirdoslam / nerdbeep / take5 (pedophile)

 

[Grand_Ole_Ostritch]

It might be recency bias, but "My moM tit- twitted my fuckin' TIPPLES!!!!!"

 

[Soggy paper straw]

Metokur burned in my brain the Boogie "one for me, one for the hooker"

 

[Sapphixys Shitty Panties]

Metokur burned in my brain the Boogie "one for me, one for the hooker"

Was about to post the same thing.

 

[Sneak 'n' Snore]

"You should kill yourself NOW"- LowTierGod
CWC's "True and honest" also always had a really good ring to it, somehow.

 

[Laburnum]

ARREST HIM, ARREST HIM

 

[WTBOnlineFather]

"I did nothing wrong, I did everything correct" --DSP
"HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS, OH MY FUCKING GOD DOOD" --Bossmanjack
"You're twisting images" --Bathtub Ross

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

"I'm a nasty cock slut Jenny, I can give and receive." - Linkara.
"That's a fairly small amount of McDonald's for an average-sized person." - MovieBob
"Sonic may be fast, but Geoffrey was faster on the draw in that department." - Ken Penders
"I had some McDonald's. Things are going to be ok I think." - Quinton Reviews.
"What a fucking liar, dude. What a fucking weaselly little, liar, dude. What a fucking, weaselly little liar, dude. Holy shit, dude. Holy fucking shit, dude." - Hasan Piker.
"Her prostate" - Turkey Tom.
"But everybody … ey … everybody wanna sit back and ‘OH MY GOD, CHIP KELLY, GIVE HIM ANOTHER YEAR.’ You know what? f*ck Chip Kelly. Him and his motherf*cking n****s he brought in. f*ck you, Chip. Get the f*ck out of goddamn Philly." and "Uhhh... I'm actually out here to uhhh, get a cupcake." - EDP445
"If you can, I just want to ask him if you've always been shitting your pants... becuase since I've known you, you've always had like IBS. You've always been shitting yourself." - Anisa Jomha.

 

[Soggy paper straw]

Small lolcow, but the "guys, gals, and non-binary pals" of obese to beast wearing nail polish will never not be funny. Whenever Muta says "guys and gals" I automatically add in my brain "and non-binary pals"

I am quite sure that Obese to beast did not create the phrase, but I will always associate with him (and also I dont listen to anyone who would say that anyway)