💼 Careercow Kurt Eichenwald / Roy Rogers / Andrew McDonald - Litigious Failed Journalist, Epileptic Sped, Trump Derangement Incarnate, Hentai Weeaboo Racist, Sexist, Suspected Pedo, Living Centrist Democrat Meme

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AnOminous said:
So he's sobbing and losing his shit while doing the audiobook? There have got to be some remix opportunities there. This dude will completely flip his shit when him sobbing to his most traumatic memories is remixed to some emo song.
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or better still, to this:
 
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Diabeetus said:
This is the man who got exposed for watching tentacle porn. He's talking as if he has the right to call anyone a loser or a social misfit.
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So long you don't fund child porn, you're not nearly as big a loser as Kurt.
 
>your posts get blocked before I even see them
>any image you send gets directly beamed into my brain from my phone and gives me an immediate seizure

Somebody please tell this dumb raving asshole to pick ONE lie and stick with it?
 
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Someone tell Anita Skeeter and Brianna Wu that Eichenwald is trying to muscle in on their "persecuted by nuckbird goobergape" territory.
 
AprilRains said:
I specified that it shouldn't harm him. Just make him shit his pants.

I'm a reasonable woman.
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Well, then I'm afraid you're stuck with the old, "Ex-Lax brownies", as I don't know of such a trick. :(

(We could always mail him glitter or something like that. Makes a horrible mess)
 
Mrs Paul said:
Well, then I'm afraid you're stuck with the old, "Ex-Lax brownies", as I don't know of such a trick. :(

(We could always mail him glitter or something like that. Makes a horrible mess)
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I’m certain that Kurt would call the FBI and claim the glitter caused a seizure and he’ll never hold his grandchild because of the brain damage.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
I’m certain that Kurt would call the FBI and claim the glitter caused a seizure and he’ll never hold his grandchild because of the brain damage.
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"An unknown particalized substance was delivered to my home, apparently with the intent to induce a seizure. Whoever sent it, I hope you're looking forward to being tracked down and summarily executed by the FBI."
 
millais said:
lol, he couldn't find a good review from someone who actually bought the book, only from someone who got it for free. NYT Best Seller it ain't!
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and therefore not a verified purchase and could be written by anyone? Even some tentacle-jacking bald dude with nothing better to do...
 
Mrs Paul said:
Ha ha.

Seriously folks, I know I'm in the minority,and the guy's a douche, but that's pretty messed up. A seizure generally isn't an emergency, but it IS possible to really hurt someone. Or the seizure itself may not hurt the guy, but he could injure himself pretty bad.

It's like those jagoffs who deliberately spike someone's food with something they're allergic too. Just grow up, okay? Don't be like those whole, "PUNCH A TERF!!!" buttplugs.
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You are operating under the assumption that Kurt actually has seizures and that he didn't just make up all of that bullshit about having one to get one of his trolls into legal trouble. Which he did. Which is why he's a douche and also why joking about seizing him is OK.

We all know it won't actually happen. Either sending the gif or Kurt's wife furiously tweeting about how Kurt is seizing on the floor from it again. It is all pretend and the only reason the joke is funny is because Kurt is a huge douchebag liar.
 
ColtWalker1847 said:
You are operating under the assumption that Kurt actually has seizures and that he didn't just make up all of that bullshit about having one to get one of his trolls into legal trouble. Which he did. Which is why he's a douche and also why joking about seizing him is OK.

We all know it won't actually happen. Either sending the gif or Kurt's wife furiously tweeting about how Kurt is seizing on the floor from it again. It is all pretend and the only reason the joke is funny is because Kurt is a huge douchebag liar.
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I still find that the funniest part of his story. His wife walks in, sees Kurt writhing on the floor, then decides to log in on his Twitter and scold everyone. It's like something out of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
 
Triggered Fivehead said:
The title of the book is something else. Mind unraveled my ass.
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Unraveled doesn't even begin to describe how you can go from award-winning journalist who gets their book adapted into a major Hollywood movie to disgraced yet still prominent journalist to a lolcow best known for spazzing out with seizures while fapping to hentai, fighting with internet trolls, and making an ass of himself on Tucker Carlson's show. His book should be subtitled "How I Sunk My Career in Five Easy Steps".
 
Solzhenitsyn said:
I still find that the funniest part of his story. His wife walks in, sees Kurt writhing on the floor, then decides to log in on his Twitter and scold everyone. It's like something out of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
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"Sorry, honey, I know your brain is being damaged but these trolls just have to get a piece of my mind before I lift a finger to keep you from swallowing your tongue!"
I dunno which would be worse, Kurt lying or his wife deciding that tweeting scorn at trolls takes priority over her husband's health.
 
Save the Loli said:
Unraveled doesn't even begin to describe how you can go from award-winning journalist who gets their book adapted into a major Hollywood movie to disgraced yet still prominent journalist to a lolcow best known for spazzing out with seizures while fapping to hentai, fighting with internet trolls, and making an ass of himself on Tucker Carlson's show. His book should be subtitled "How I Sunk My Career in Five Easy Steps".
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I imagine a tentacle porn virus on some hentai site that waits until he gets up a head of steam fapping to it, then turns on his webcam and starts flashing so he seizes up live on stream while blowing a load all over the keyboard and monitor.
 
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