🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

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5. Your high school girlfriend won’t suddenly show up as your new roommate. Good thing that other girl moved out in between episodes! (Nothing really to say here, except what a waste of a character. Screech really needed a Lisa expy to moon over for the rest of the series' 20-episode run.)

For some reason, this really sticks out to me. Like, I imagine if you're old enough to go to college, you're old enough to realize that all of the shit that happens in slice of life animus and those shitty B-movie rom coms don't actually happen in real life, right?

I mean, I already know Sweets is delusional, but hell, I really want to know what he was on that made him think this for so long. That must be one hell of a drug.

Other than that, a lot of Sweets's comics that give me too much of a headache to follow. Someone who doesn't value their eyesight can fill me on what those chicken scratches in comic panels are supposed to represent.

Side note, but:

8. Your hunky professors aren’t interested in dating you.

Just :story:
 
SWEEETTTTT!!!!!! This post might save your life. I'm not even joking. (I am wondering why I give a shit, but I'm not joking.)

Of course, that assumes you're bored enough to try nitrous oxide yourself. I'm assuming you don't darken the dentist's doorstep, so that would involve your buying a tank of gas.

NO is the abbreviation for "nitric oxide," which has effects on your body but not your mind so much. Quoth Wikipedia: "It is a powerful vasodilator with a short half-life of a few seconds in the blood. Long-known pharmaceuticals such as nitroglycerine and amyl nitrite were found to be precursors to nitric oxide more than a century after their first use in medicine. Low levels of nitric oxide production are important in protecting organs such as the liver from ischemic damage." I can only guess you'd want it if you were having repeated heart attacks, or gay sex, if it's still used in poppers.

N2O is nitrous oxide. You seem to know what that is.

NO2 is nitric oxide, a toxic gas and pollutant that will ruin your lungs even worse than your mold-filled ceiling does. Pulmonary edema? Trust me, those are big words but they mean a thing that you do not want.

Using the "2" and putting it in the right place is shockingly important in chemistry, it turns out.

This has been your PSA from the Occasional Chemistry Division of the Grammar Police. You're welcome.

 
SWEEETTTTT!!!!!! This post might save your life. I'm not even joking. (I am wondering why I give a shit, but I'm not joking.)

Of course, that assumes you're bored enough to try nitrous oxide yourself. I'm assuming you don't darken the dentist's doorstep, so that would involve your buying a tank of gas.

NO is the abbreviation for "nitric oxide," which has effects on your body but not your mind so much. Quoth Wikipedia: "It is a powerful vasodilator with a short half-life of a few seconds in the blood. Long-known pharmaceuticals such as nitroglycerine and amyl nitrite were found to be precursors to nitric oxide more than a century after their first use in medicine. Low levels of nitric oxide production are important in protecting organs such as the liver from ischemic damage." I can only guess you'd want it if you were having repeated heart attacks, or gay sex, if it's still used in poppers.

N2O is nitrous oxide. You seem to know what that is.

NO2 is nitric oxide, a toxic gas and pollutant that will ruin your lungs even worse than your mold-filled ceiling does. Pulmonary edema? Trust me, those are big words but they mean a thing that you do not want.

Using the "2" and putting it in the right place is shockingly important in chemistry, it turns out.

This has been your PSA from the Occasional Chemistry Division of the Grammar Police. You're welcome.

Does he ever get anything right? Is there any topic on which he is as knowledgeable as a random seventh-grader?
 
Got to say, seeing the new Sonichu pages just underlines how painful to read and unfunny The Belch Dimension is. It shows the great effectiveness of the free market that Chris is earning hundreds of dollars from his franchise while Sweet Bro actually lost money on his. Where there is choice and competition, the better products survive.
 
He ripped off the idea from the sketch. If he'd just said something like "Inspired by the SNL sketch" he'd probably be fine. Yes his article was racist, but if he'd credited the original source, he would would have been fine. His article was different enough from the original that crediting the inspiration would have been sufficient, in my opinion.
Or at the very least, the column would have been rejected instead of its author being ejected. ;)
 
Belchblog prediction game time!

I think it's a given that Sweet will bring up 9/11 in tomorrow's blog. The interesting novelty bets will be on whether he:
  • calls Osama bin Laden a "fartknocker"
  • makes reference to "Ahab the Arab"
  • discusses Columbine/some other campus shooting
and, most interestingly:
  • whether he gives his thoughts on turning 40 this Sunday
Any thoughts as to appropriate odds for the above? (Poker was always my game, rather than prop bets. You know where you are with cards...)
 
Belchblog prediction game time!

I think it's a given that Sweet will bring up 9/11 in tomorrow's blog. The interesting novelty bets will be on whether he:
  • calls Osama bin Laden a "fartknocker"
  • makes reference to "Ahab the Arab"
  • discusses Columbine/some other campus shooting
and, most interestingly:
  • whether he gives his thoughts on turning 40 this Sunday
Any thoughts as to appropriate odds for the above? (Poker was always my game, rather than prop bets. You know where you are with cards...)

You forgot to include how he tries to make the day about himself. Unless you consider that a fool's wager.

So my odds are, based on my non-booking skills are that:

6:1 Childishly calls out Osama.
2:1 Racist towards the Arabs
4:1 School shootings
1:1 About himself.
 
upload_2015-9-10_20-40-47.png

What the fuck? I would say that these look like people in dog costumes rather than dogs, but they have feet for hands. Were these dogs born in Chernobyl?
 
I guess he's getting this weird comic out of the way today so he can go on a full 9/11 spiel tomorrow. Fan-fucking-tastic.

So, basically, he's trying to justify (yet again, joy) why he's the victim in the whole ASU incident. Jeez, we might call Dobson repetitive, but at least he makes us sperg out about something different every so often. How many times can we keep telling Sweets "No, you still don't get it?"

Which I'm doing right now. Guess I'm equally spergy.


Emphasis added by me:
If Fulkes' security had been better, Jon says, Gina Bliss would never have come into Hollings' life, then abruptly left him. This incident wouldn't have stirred the man's madness afire and set the events in motion that put the poor old fellow on the self-destructive path he'd been on for the last 15 years. Jon also tells Dr. Leo Greer, associate dean of judicial affairs at F.U, that if he had done his job properly and helped Hollings along instead of playing fast and loose with logistics, the school might not be in such a fix. "He might have been an asset to your community," says the Teen of Titanium, "A productive and loved member of your little society. Instead you shunned him. The only place on Earth he ever felt he belonged suddenly changed the rules, and there was no place left for him.... Games have rules, sir, and you can't write new ones halfway through to suit you."

Powerful words. If only I could look the little gnome who forced me out of A-State 18 years ago square in the eye and say that to his pudgy dumpling face.

As usual, Sweets is, once again, deflecting blame from himself. It's not his fault that he let some girl lead him on and then ditch him because it was the most transparent trolling attemptin existence. It was not his fault that he got shafted from the Herald and dismissed from ASU. It was all ASU's fault for not keeping that girl out of Sweets's life. It was all the dean's fault for not accommodating Sweets and treating him like the god given prodigy that he fucking was and bending every single rule so that he could be the top reporter at the Herald. If this hadn't have happened, Sweets would be living his life like it was half-past-1998 and everyone would be so much happier.

And of course he wants to say this entire bullshit to the staff at ASU, as though they would listen or care to an unemployed, delusional fuckwit who draws barely literate comics on his antiquated computer. A man trapped in his nostalgic bubble who argues with some nobodies on a forum that barely cares about him, alienating what few supporters he used to have over on the other forum, and living in a literal biohazard that is likely to poison Sweets and lead him to his inevitable demise if it doesn't collapse all around him instead because no one told him that a house needs routine maintenance.

Never change, Sweets. Take your crazy delusions to the grave, which, given your incredibly unsanitary living conditions, isn't very far off.
 
Sweets would be living his life like it was half-past-1998 and everyone would be so much happier.
Sanae, I get the impression that Sweet doesn't understand sarcasm well.

Anyway, I haven't really read the latest Belchblog yet - all I did was skim through a textwall and some comics about something. Is he going to keep bringing up Dr. Greer? Although to be fair, Greer probably still remembers Sweet.
 
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Sanae, I get the impression that Sweet doesn't understand sarcasm well.

Anyway, I haven't really read the latest Belchblog yet - all I did was skim through a textwall and some comics about something. Is he going to keep bringing up Dr. Greer? Although to be fair, Greer probably still remembers Sweet.

In short, yes.
In long, yes he is.

They are to Sweet, what Sonic is to Chris.
 
Sweets said:
Obsessed with the idea of returning to his happier times in college, the ingenious Hollings built a time-dilation portal generator that could let him do it all over again.

Time-dilation only works one way, forward. It can either slow down or speed up that march forward, but it can't go back. I was pretty sure just from the words used that that was correct, so I double checked, it is, I was right. Time-dilation can only stop or slow down time, not travel backwards. 10 seconds worth of "research" confirmed this. Even Sweets could've handled this.

Sweets said:
planning to freeze and capturing the moment forever in a temporal bubble.

Nice "Angel" plagiarism there.

Sweets said:
If Fulkes' security had been better, Jon says, Gina Bliss would never have come into Hollings' life, then abruptly left him. This incident wouldn't have stirred the man's madness afire and set the events in motion that put the poor old fellow on the self-destructive path he'd been on for the last 15 years. Jon also tells Dr. Leo Greer, associate dean of judicial affairs at F.U, that if he had done his job properly and helped Hollings along instead of playing fast and loose with logistics, the school might not be in such a fix.

Nah, Greer was just being a good Conservative and believed that Hollings could practice a little personal responsibility. At the very least Greer didn't feel the need to act as Hollings' nanny and tell him who he could and could not date.
 
So now he expects campus security to be better just so that townies won't come into campus and hurt men's feefees. Lmao
 
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