🎨 Artcow Iconoclast / Jonathan Mack Sweet - The Chris-Chan of Arkansas

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
Even if Sweet got the ban lifted (he won't), there's no way ASU is going to let a 40 year old live in the dorms with 18-23 year olds. He'd be consigned to an off-campus apartment. Also, he never mentions going to another college, you know, one of the several thousand he's not banned from. I guess no one told him you could transfer. He also seems to think that college is the only place you can learn about new technology. As someone said, anyone in the US with an internet connection can get up to speed quickly. I know his comics are badly drawn and racist, but he'd at least reach a wider audience if he made it into a web comic. Throw some ads on the site, sell merchandise, he might have some disposable income if he caters to the racist crowd.
 
Fartknocker-sempai noticed me! :heart-full: Nice that he has to wait until next week to debunk what I said about him, though. Is that how long it's taking him to think of a comeback?

Probably, considering the Belch Bingo card was posted ages ago and he's just now unveiling his sad, MS Paint ripoff...to say nothing of the multiple screencaps he's taken of the forum that he's hoarded for weeks before coming up with a sick burn. As a former newspaperman, he should know that you have to work fast to remain timely, but then I suppose nobody told him that.

I love that he thinks we're "afraid" of him returning to ASU, like some awesome power will be unleashed the instant he sets foot on campus. And as always, it's adorable that he assumes he'd just integrate into the undergrad population if he did get to return, as though he were just another 18- or 20-year-old and not a flabby middle-aged creeper. Please, Mr. Sweet, tell us another! Your delusions are a hell of a lot funnier than your comics, at least.
 
Shadow Fox said:
Is that how long it's taking him to think of a comeback?
Click to expand...
That's my guess. Although to "prove" you wrong, he may reply with a comeback earlier, but in that case:

(1) Said Sweet comeback will probably be (even more) poorly thought out because the bad boy of college journalism didn't have enough time to think up a reply.

(2) Said Sweet comeback will probably just be a pot shot from the relative safety of the belchblog on dA.
 
Last edited:
Generally public libraries will offer classes to seniors and other technologically illiterate people to help them learn knew technology.
You can't say no one ever told you, Jon, because I'm telling you right now.
 
Does he think ASU is the best college ever or something? He never mentions trying to go to another school. I guess autism is why he's so fixated on returning to a third rate university in a third rate town in a bottom-tier state, but if he could choose worthwhile goals, we wouldn't be here.
 
DrJonesHat said:
Does he think ASU is the best college ever or something? He never mentions trying to go to another school. I guess autism is why he's so fixated on returning to a third rate university in a third rate town in a bottom-tier state, but if he could choose worthwhile goals, we wouldn't be here.
Click to expand...
My guess is he wants some kind of closure. Just like Chris and the Game Place, Sweetie wants to be able to prove that rules don't apply to him, he can go wherever he darn well pleases and no one has the power to deny him things. Sure, he could go to another college, but if he did that he wouldn't get to spit in the figurative (and, knowing Sweet and his grasp of social niceties, literal) eye of the people who scorned him all those years ago.

Also he would have to pay to go somewhere else, and he fully expects to be given a free ride at AS(S)U as repayment for the booty-blistering they delivered unto him.
 
That's the other thing, why does he think he'd get another(?) free ride to ASU?
Let's pretend that he somehow is allowed back in. I know I'm stretching suspension of disbelief too far, but bear with me. How does he think he would afford it? He has no job, savings or academic pursuits, who does he think will fund his folly? No one is going to give him a loan, not even really shady places because he doesn't have collateral. Even if he received an autism scholarship for crazy old autistics that would never cover full tuition, books, housing and (scrumptious buffet) food.
 
I have no idea why Sweet Bro would want to return to ASU (or AS(S)U as he calls it). Within a week, the guy would want to leave. Oh right, the autism and all that.

He would show up at the school and want to leave in a quick minute because his illusions would come crashing down. He would realize that the "china-phone" does not work and dip out as soon as possible, but nope, he can't fucking listen to the truth that has been repeatedly told to him a million times.

Freshmen generally hate having older middle-aged students in their dorm. They do not feel comfortable with a 40-something guy around them and usually see them as creepy and these guys don't even have to be suffering from some serious form of behavioral disorder like Sweet. Sweet Bro would become the most hated joker within five seconds at ASU. This goofball needs to learn social skills and how to groom himself before he even returns to college... but you know what the kicker is, Sweet only wants to returns to college for the "college experience", not an education like most people his age would.

Sweet's dream is so inane, that it is baffling. If Sweet returned to college, he would be even more messed up by the experience because everyone would laugh his happy ass out of the school.

EDIT: Cleaned up some grammar mistakes and toned down the harshness a bit.
 
Last edited:
He could possibly live in a dorm without making college-age students uncomfortable. I know that some colleges have dorm buildings (or more likely particular floors of dorm buildings) reserved for students who are older.


I don't know if ASU is one of those schools, and either way, I'm quite sure this is not what he wants.
 
There are older people that could possibly not creep out students living dorms. Sweet is not one of those people.
And that's if they never discovered his piss jars.
 
I think the thing about ASU - and this is pure speculation, as always - is that it represented such a paradigm shift for Sweet at the time. He'd gone from the indignities of high school to community college (or so I thought), where no one would've known him enough to make fun of him or bully him, nor would they have cared. Then, upon moving to ASU, Sweet found himself inside a community. Sure, it was a community that likely wanted nothing to do with him, but people had to interact with him by dint of being in college.

In the dorms, Jon may have walked into what he perceived to be a rockin' party atmosphere, with hot 'n' cold running babes passing out after barfing, to be dragged off for a night of hot (and apparently consequence free) boinking. Did he get any of it? No. Jon seemingly had no friends. But he could go to the various public events that others went to, and see that as something that "we" did in his day. Jon wasn't invited to parties, he was in the area that a party was happening, thus, in the strictest sense, Jon was "at a party." Jon worked around others in the office of The Herald, thus he had "friends at The Herald." It's the same kind of mental pressganging into his personal army that Chris does.

I feel that it's likely because of his mental issues that Jon saw ASU as this sudden, delightful buffet of pleasures - the coveted "perks," if you will - instead of what was actually being offered, which was the standard byproduct of going to a state university. These kinds of joys were unprecedented in his life, and when they were gone, poof - they were gone for good, with Sweet utterly non-plussed as to how to get them back.

That, I think, is why he wants to go to ASU. He's trying to reproduce the circumstances under which this amazing thing happened, not realizing that a lot of it was due to the long-suffering patience and efforts of others, and not just some magical thing that fell around him from the æther.
 
He Sets Me On Fire said:
I think the thing about ASU[...]
Click to expand...
Not only that, but like I've said already, the apparent utopianess of a particular university is magnified when it's all one knows of college life contrasted with all one has already known - living an otherwise uneventful life in a hovel in some poor rural town in the middle of nowhere where even the topography is flat and boring.

To me, Sweet's obsession with ASU is a classic example of the autistic symptom of resistance to change, intensified by said aparent utopianess.

Also, speaking of eventful, last year Sweet said [1] that by 2024, the world will have already gone back to "half-past 1997," courtesy of the then dominant "Teapot Domers." 2024 is now only about 9 years away, and the clock is ticking.

Regarding that Kiwi Bingo card [2], I think what Sweet meant by the "tell him everything he ever knew was one big lie" is Sweetish for when we say how a particular situation didn't go the way Sweet thought it did, thus (intentionally or not) contributing towards shattering Sweet's worldview of a romanticized and idealized past.

[1] (see page 25 of this thread)

[2] Apparently, making a grid with a consistent font and text size in MSPaint by oneself is too great a task to Sweet. I thought MSPaint worked "juuust fine?"
 
Last edited:
One thing I've noticed about Sweet is the way he exaggerates or fabricates details to conceal embarrassing truths. To some extent this is human nature, but Sweet is just not particularly good at it, which leads to some enormous discrepancies.

For instance, he didn't want to admit he was on SSI, so at various points he offered implausible explanations as to how he made money. He tried to claim that he got a "miserly stipend" from the government after Dale left town, as if Dale were some miniature natural disaster that warranted federal recovery funding for the one family he affected.

Then he tried to claim he makes money picking up cans. Current scrap prices for aluminium cans are about $0.35-$0.40 per lb, with roughly 30 cans needed to make up 1lb of metal. The Arkansas minimum wage is $7.50 per hour. Therefore, Sweet Bro would need to pick up 563 cans per hour in order to make minimum wage - and having no access to a car. I reckon even the superpowered Jonichu might struggle with that...
 
Did he just admit that his brother has been rehabilitated? Guess he can't use his "abused by brother" card anymore!
 
Le Bateleur said:
Current scrap prices for aluminium cans are about $0.35-$0.40 per lb, with roughly 30 cans needed to make up 1lb of metal.
Click to expand...
Sweet also said that at one point, he had a shed full of cans he salvaged, but his brother stole them all, IIRC. Even a shed full of cans would probably pull in less than one day's worth of minimum wage work.
 
Last edited:
John Titor said:
Guess he can't use his "abused by brother" card anymore!
Click to expand...
Sweet also can't use the "they'd make me shave" card as an excuse not to go into food service anymore, since he recently shaved.*

Sweet said he didn't shave because his facial hair reminded him of his father (similar to a jacket he wore to a photo in a yearbook he never got because BANNED FROM ASU). I wonder what Papa Sweet would think of Sweet if he were still around?

*And before Sweet makes a belchblog addressing this on the next Friday at the earliest - no, I'm not saying Sweet has to go into food service, especially not as part of a "progressive ploy" to keep people in menial jobs. I'm just saying that "they'd make me shave" isn't a good excuse. Sweet made that excuse on page 24 of this thread, if anyone is curious.
 
Last edited:
Not shaving isn't an excuse for not going into the fast food service industry.
No one told him they have facial hairnets.

image.jpeg
 
So Sweet often leaves out details which make him look bad, and thus his stories become ridiculous. Like when he blamed his brother for him not being "allowed" a cellphone, even though his brother was either in jail or living away from the family home for the past three years. Eventually, he admitted that he didn't know how to operate a modern phone.

I think the obsession with going back to AS(S)U is partially motivated by his being diagnosed with Aspergers in his 20s, after he got bann from college. I'd hypothesise that Sweet Bro feels that after he was diagnosed with a medical condition, he was owed a second chance by the college - and that when this didn't change anything, it felt like they were playing America's Favorite Game with him.

He feels personally wronged by this. They aren't accepting his Autism Card, and his rigid mindset takes this very personally. Of course he can't directly vent about it without revealing his condition to the world.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom