I am the fly on the wall.

[Donald_J_Trump]

We all over hear shit. Whether we mean to or not.

Sometimes it’s ridiculous.
Sometimes it’s insightful.
And sometimes it’s depressing.

Share the random things you’ve heard.

 

[TheLostMarxBrotherFucko]

I heard my lesbian neighbors fighting again.

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

A few years ago I overheard my neighbor say, "I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hilary Clinton." He killed himself by slitting his wrists and shooting himself in the back of the head four times a week later.

 

[oldTireWater]

I heard a very senior manager brush his teeth while he was taking a shit.

I heard a guy wipe his ass only once after taking a shit.

I heard another guy walk out without washing his hands after shitting.

I heard a dude loudly talking to himself about how disgruntled he was while pissing.

Lots of good intel when you're sitting on the can. You learn whose hand to not shake.

 

[Antony_the_spin_god21]

I heard my neighbour slapping his wife multiple times at night while trying to sleep

 

[Tablet County]

Sometimes I hear my next door neighbor screaming like the loud nigra meme. Either he's got some sort of serious chronic pain or all that grunge music he plays is to cover up him masturbating.

 

[Mr. Anderson]

I heard my parents having sex once in HS. Buddy and I stayed up late, pretended to sleep so they'd go to sleep. Then got up and went downstairs and ate cereal and watched tv. Start hearing squeaking right above us.
Grabbed a broom and banged on the ceiling yelling "keep it down!" Sat down and ate my cereal.
My friend was MORTIFIED.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

Why.. are you sitting on the wall by the tub watching me bathe? Please fly away I'm getting scared.

 

[A Series Of Tubes]

Was sitting on my back porch once and heard this teenaged sounding kid come fucking booking down the street behind mine screaming on the verge of tears "BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!". Stupid fuck must've gotten caught trying to steal shit off someone's property, I got a good laugh out of that.

 

[Donald_J_Trump]

Why.. are you sitting on the wall by the tub watching me bathe? Please fly away I'm getting scared.

i didn’t see you wash them pits boi.

 

[TheTitKoker]

Stopped hearing flies on walls after i deployed tactical flypaper.

 

[Dufe]

Should this be for immediate release, Mr. President?

 

[Cancer Man Metokur]

I once heard my older brother come in the house, which he almost never does, with my mom, and the first thing I heard was him yelling to her about democrats.

 

[Climate 4C]

Lived in an apartment next door to a chinese family back when I was in medical school. Don't know who it was but someone had an incredibly loud vibrator.

 

[Power Ranger Monster]

I heard this kid from another high school SWEAR the lemonade at the job placement center was spiked.

 

[Lokenstien]

@secret watcher is the only real fly on this wall.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

I heard OP eats niggeroni.