Hey guys, how has everyone been?

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For the last few days I have been working whilst being sick with the cold and having a bruised rib from a fall I took. I've kept myself going using a combination of cold medicine, cough drops, ibuprofen, energy drinks, and chocolate milk (it's got a lot of protein in it) because I cannot afford to have any sick days when I need to make more money for college. Now I have today and tomorrow off. I'm starting to get over my cold, so I might just take a leisure trip into the city and do something.

Also, I have been steadily loosing weight because of me being more active and changing up my diet. I'm down to 216.5 lbs so far.
 
The power was out for about two hours this evening. The saying you never appreciate things until they're gone came to mind.

I finally downloaded Audacity today and I'm editing some sound files for my Spanish course. I'm enjoying editing so far.
 
I often worry that you guys are jealous of how cool I am. *sigh* I'll try to tone it down.
 
I'm really not doing so well, guys. I'm in-between jobs, but I don't care about that particularly because my savings, it's large...mostly I'm just bored. I feel kind of useless when I'm not working, know what I mean?

The real kicker here is girls, I'm just having a rough time with them. I started dating when I was 13 and didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground and right now it's like I'm back there, mentally. I don't know, I just...I just keep striking out and it bothers me greatly because I'm getting older and I'm getting lonelier, and I try my best not to be needy or anything like that but man I'm watching all my friends get married and settle down and I am slowly becoming convinced I'm gonna be a forever alone guy. It doesn't make sense, like that's not a logical place to go thought-wise, but emotions run counter to logic often enough, don't they?

I take care of myself, I'm hygienic, the jury's still out on whether or not I'm as funny as I think I am but in the past four years or so I've gone from "lol fashion what's that" to actually giving a shit about my appearance, and yet I still feel like I'm just the ugliest human being on the planet. It's not rational for me to assume that being overweight immediately disqualifies me from the races, as it were, and yet I can't help but feel that way. And here I am, longposting about it to you guys because I don't want to whine to my RL friends about it anymore.

I don't think I've ever felt this pathetic.
 
I'm sick so I'm going to spend the rest of this evening curled up in a ball harnessing my own body warmth.

I still went to work though. :hulk:
 
Christmas snuck up on me this year. Still frantically wrapping presents AND trying to pump out assets for clients before we shut down for the holidays. It's my first year not working retail during the holidays (2010 - 2013) and it's very pleasant thought I am kind of mad that I usually have to make a trip out to stores to shop since I work from home most of the week.

The top fell off my Christmas tree and I need to figure out how to put it back together. It's a really awesome bigass fiber optic tree we bought when I was 12 (trees were extremely expensive that year) and we wanted to get a FAKE tree if we wanted a fake tree. I haven't put it up in a few years because it's pretty big so I got really excited to put it together and had to laugh when my mom told me that the top fell off.

Happy winter breaks to the Kiwi Farmians who are finishing up class. I went to a very rigorous high school (along with both colleges) so it was always a breath of air and all the excited plans I made with my friends. :heart-full:
 
I came to the main island very briefly this morning to go to the gym, but ultimately didn't. *sigh*

See, the 8AM ferry was running late, and then it had to go to the North End to pick up some passengers who called to arrange the pickup. And I didn't have a car this morning that I could use for a long time since my sister needs to go to work, the timing just didn't work out.

Oh well, I still needed to get a few things anyway, I am in for a busy as fuck week.
 
Okay so I'm a nervous wreck right now because so far I have a low C in one of my classes I need to graduate. I just turned in a shitty paper late for that class. I need at least a low C to get that class for credit on my transcript. Ugh I really don't want to take that class again! That would mean another semester until I graduate! :(

I have a C+ in my other class so that's cool. I guess.
 
My laptop has been chugging on basic tasks in the last few months. Which is strange since its an i5 mobile with 6gbs of memory. I assumed it was because my fan / heatsink was very dusty. I was right. Cleaned it and its running very nicely.

Also going through my VHS collection. Watching a video called "What Happened to the American Dream?". Its claiming everyone who takes some form of handouts (College bonds) are on welfare. It's fucking hilarious, minus the accurate market predictions.
 
if someone would ask me how i was, i'd answer one of two ways

1: (very casual setting) fine.
2: (honest) eehhhh hahaha ha ha eehhh hahaha uhh yeah ahahaha

well i've been trying to draw gud and i've been watching youtube videos about people being robots or something.

interesting.
 
The last day of my semester ended Friday and I have two weeks to dick around until my winter classes start.
This entire passed four months has been hell for me. On top of having to be at school six days a week (yes that's a real thing and sometimes it was seven), my boyfriend left me, my dog developed cancerous tumors and is terminal, my best friend's dad died, and there were plenty of assorted nuisances happening to inconvenience me in every conceivable way possible.
I've been lying in bed for the passed three days because I don't really have the capacity for much else. I'm not looking forward to Christmas, I'm not looking forward to anything really. I'm going to try to see some friends that I haven't been in contact with for months. I need many drinks.:story:
 
Got really stressed (as in, holy shit I'm afraid of relapsing now stressed) early last week about work. I got into a good groove this weekend and caught up with client work that we needed done before Christmas. My turning point was telling myself that if I did this while unmedicated and working a part-time job with full-time school, then I had no fucking excuses other than being a lazy shit or a really easily distracted shit.

I did my grocery shopping for Christmas today and I'm really excited. I love cooking.
 
The movie I was going to rent tonight (Corner Gas: The Movie) is on TV and I caught it at the start. Yay! Then my favorite channel is doing a 7 day Big Bang Theory marathon. Boo! Not sure getting my TV back after 3 years is worth it yet.
 
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