Hey guys, how has everyone been?

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Got an interview for a job that pays 15k more than my current one next week so that's pretty cool.
Sick to death of working for fundies anyway.
 
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I'm still pretty upset about how badly my speech went yesterday for my public speaking class, especially getting so worked up and almost fainting. There's always next time I guess.
 
I had a mental breakdown this week and had to move out of on-campus housing and back home with my family. Otherwise I won't sleep, eat, live, etc. Passed out in one of my classes, threw up. Now I'm in the process of moving my shit back. Debating trying to sell some of it to my Rooskie ex-roommate.
 
I'm pretty tipsy. How's everyone else?

I was at GenCon. Then I got busy making some Post-apoc armor and shit. Also ther was some Fallout 3 going on because that game is the shit.
 
Pretty terrible, and it has been for awhile, but trying to make it better, and hoping it can eventually improve with some work. I overslept and missed school which I heard was on lockdown from 9:30 AM to the end of the day anyways, but I made some good progress with my psychologist this last afternoon, though unfortunately I'm only able to see him once a week. I still feel trapped and like it's gradually getting worse though, but I'll try to sort that out.

I'm really not looking forward to going back to school on Monday. Never liked most people my age, and I've always found them next to impossible to relate to. People who go through that stage grow out of it though, at least I'd hope so. I wish there was another good option to get my education aside from putting up with the toxic, juvenile, and alienating environment of High School.

With all of this shit on my plate, I think I might call a crisis hotline at some point if I need to, since not talking about this shit is what makes it get worse.
 
Pretty terrible, and it has been for awhile, but trying to make it better, and hoping it can eventually improve with some work. I overslept and missed school which I heard was on lockdown from 9:30 AM to the end of the day anyways, but I made some good progress with my psychologist this last afternoon, though unfortunately I'm only able to see him once a week. I still feel trapped and like it's gradually getting worse though, but I'll try to sort that out. I think I might call a crisis hotline at some point if I need to.

Hey man, it gets better. I got yer back yo.
 
One week down of working in a care home for elderly people with dementia.
When (if?) I hit fifty I'm walking out in front of a train.
Seriously, fuck getting like that.
 
EXHAUSTED. oh man, time for a lot of words.

well, elated that i got the job and went right into full time, after an unemployment streak of 7 years. i'd sink or swim, and i'd say i swam very well if i may say so myself. like my dad and bro, i'm their immediate relative and i'm a hard worker just like they are. my coworkers really like me a lot because i have their backs (it's a pretty busy environment and there are always things to do). it feels really good to get an honest day's work done, helping customers and coworkers alike. i like to think my stone-faced, serious bosses are impressed, but of course they're hard to read. first two days were 10 hours, yesterday was 8, and it looks like i'll have a mix of 8 hour and longer days next week.

i haven't been able to draw, and my hands have been shaking like hell when trying to copy my schedule, but i'll try to get some drawings in. for some bizarre reason i've been having trouble sleeping (excitement?? i don't drink coffee late anymore), some disgusting health problems i hoped no one would notice (fuckin' staph). i'm hoping i'll toughen up and become more efficient, and be able to draw more on breaks. but sometimes i'm too busy for breaks and too tired when i get home.

my coworkers are awesome, my bosses are pretty cool, and the customers have all been good people so far, very forgiving of my initial screwups. yesterday, despite the pain i was in, there was a concert in the building (grandad. local band. i SWEAR i've heard of them from somewhere before, but they're pretty okay all things considered), and so i told the pain to can it and i had a good time with people my age. some recognized me from work earlier.

yesterday i was almost a normalfag. i'm just glad to not technically be a neet anymore, but i still got a ways to go.

and i'm more sympathetic to more seasoned full-time workers. now i know how tired they feel, although i still have some toughening up to do. i came in strong and i have to live up to it.

but at the same time, already i'm at the end of my rope. the pain, exhaustion, and sleep deprivation plus no obligation to be a happy robot = a very crabby hm yeah. it's my first day off and i have a new appreciation for it. things are all subtly different now. and i have no tolerance for bullshit. bullshit being things i don't feel like dealing with. this trend will probably continue. it's my day off, and i'm gonna take it. i'm going to have to recharge as best as i can for tuesday.
 
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