Hey guys, how has everyone been?

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I fell over in Trader Joes while I was examining pita bread on the bottom shelf, but I don't think anyone noticed.
 
I now know why last week was so kind to me; you can't truely appreciate what a fucking shit situation you're in unless some days are okay.

This week has fucking sucked. I've been applying for college for about 2 months now and now they've suddenly stopped correspondence. Not that it even matters because I financially can't go. I rang the social fund some point last week and they said "they hadn't received the form applying for the loan." Fucking great... I sent away another form at the same time and I have very little faith it'll get to them...

I'm so fucking sick of being ignored by people. Like what the fuck? Why is college no longer emailing me back? The term starts on Monday.

The whole money thing is really starting to wear away at me now, it's been 6 months we've been in this way-too-expensive-and-equally-shitty flat. I've gotten every SINGLE bit of advice offered to me, I've sent away all the arbitrary forms, I've followed the government's (and college's) instruction to a T and it still failed. There's literally nothing I can do. I'm just destined to live in this shit flat my entire fucking life, being an uneducated moron looking after a bigger moron, forever counting pennies and barely fucking eating at the end of the week.

What has astounded me also is I've been applying for part-time jobs the entire time I've been applying to college, in the hopes I can find any more money in the week. Two months of applications to all the retail shops, all the markets, everywhere that'd even think to hire me and I've not received a single call-back or email. It's like I don't fucking exist, everywhere is just ignoring me.
 
Ugh, my right tonsil is swollen and probably infected again. And this time it's making my right ear ache too! And I thought the tonsilitis of about two months ago was a one-time thing. Why does this have to happen again when school is starting??
 
I feel alright and I finished up my first painting of the semester today. It's been years since I painted anything so it's kind of iffy.
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I didn't get that job. *sigh* I'm starting to feel very discouraged because I haven't found anything that wants to hire me. I'm going to try talking to my job counselor tomorrow to see if there's any help I can get with applying.
 
My public speaking class is freaking me out, but I did see this on the student bulletin board:
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I signed up to be a reading tutor to kids in my community. It'll take them a few days to process my application and do the background checks, but once they do that I need to do a 12 hour course and then I'll be a tutor. I've worked with kids before and it's pretty rewarding.

It gives me something to do while I'm looking for work.
 
Doing alright as of now. Been nervous about the learner's permit test for the last couple of hours, so I'm just trying to calm down. On the bright side, I did the Ice Bucket Challenge today so that went really well.
 
I think I'm coming down with a cold, I have a sore throat and runny nose.

I have an interview tomorrow afternoon at one of my favorite restaurants as a crew member - a place which is like Panera.
 
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At a crossroads. I want to transition to female, but the thought of going sterile is very depressing.

Also, I fought off sepsis without going to the hospital Monday, which I can now honestly admit.
 
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