Dragon Age: The Veilguard - A woke disaster? Yep!

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Are u woke enough for this game?

  • Hell yeah, I want play it with my wife's son

    Votes: 170 9.4%

  • Nope, I need to suck more girlcock first

    Votes: 393 21.8%

  • Yasss, I identify as an autistic dwarf of color

    Votes: 377 20.9%

  • Nah, I rather play Fallout76

    Votes: 862 47.8%
  • Total voters
    1,803
For those of you interested in the secret history of Solas's rebellion, the six memories you can chase down have been posted:


You watch the memory, then literally have a roundtable discussion with your party, where they tell you exactly what the meaning of the memory was and why it's useful. It's incredibly bland and dull, and the way they talk like zoomers is just fucking grating. Taash continues to be both obnoxious and stupid.

EDIT: Not just his rebellion, but the origin of the elves and the blight. Fascinating stuff, delivered in the most tedious, boring way imaginable. It's like they tried to fuck this up.
 
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p1138 said:
4 minutes into this grifter's bullshit and the employee revealed to smash jt... that there's a bunch of woke employees at the office. No fucking shit? 6:30, woke employees and woke leadership. 8 minutes, non woke employee can't say non woke shit in woke office and someone complained to HR once. 9:30 they focused on making the game woke. 12:00 70k on launch.

What exactly was the point of this video again?
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Smash JT is a retard grifter as much as the woke retards he covers. Don't give him clicks.
 

Some fan theories confirmed. Trespasser lore stuff, heavy.

The evanuris were spirits, Solas and Mythal were a thing, the titans and the evanuris fought, the titans were shattered, the blight is...I'm not sure? The titans madness? Or corruption? Solas betrayed Mythal, Mythal betrayed Solas, the evanuris betrayed Mythal. Solas betrayed Mythal...again. No Kate Mulgrew.

The actual lore stuff is...mildly interesting if you can sit through the dialogue.

Its...very basic? Like a first time A03 writer. It feels stilted and unnatural.

TBH I had seen fangirls deviantart pages which actually predicted some of this.

The evanuris were spirits
they were able to become physical beings because of lyrium
this led to war with the titans,
the titans fought the elves but the Titans were shattered and broken
Mythal was betrayed by her fellows, Solas imprisoned the elven gods in response
Solas woke up
Solas took Mythal's power for himself(that final scene in Inquisition is a betrayal)
the blight is...either a product of the titans' ruin, I think? Or something Andruil recovered from the void. Like we discussed

@Mola Ram @BlankSpaceBaby

Mythal's reckoning seems to be revenge on the Evanuris, which she used Solas as a vehicle to achieve.

Its basically a mythology story, gods drink power they shouldn't have, trickster god opposes this, out of hubris as much as genuine concern, his lover sides against him, to keep the peace, infuriating him, the Evanuris kill her for her pleas of restraint, Solas gets vengeance.

If you really wanted to know the Evanuris stuff, well...you don't have to play the game now.
 
Hooked on phobics said:
Not trying to be a dick, but did you attempt to make him look slightly gay, or is that JUST the game?
I suspect its the second one, he looks like hes seconds from trying to suck someone off.
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Prokhor Zakharov said:
I think a big part of it is the eyelashes, but most of the other options are even worse, or you have to pick no eyelashes, which makes your character look like a psychopath.

I also think I screwed up the eyebrows.

I'll have to give it another try.
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Ok, Rook "Chad The Chud" WhiteMan, try #2:

ChadRookChud.png

I found a haircut I liked better and swapped out the eyebrows. What do you guys think? The last thing I want is the darkspawn being able to graffiti that "Rook Sucks Dick!" since in this game, someone might actually believe it.
 
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Prokhor Zakharov said:
I found a haircut I liked better and swapped out the eyebrows. What do you guys think? The last thing I want is the darkspawn being able to graffiti that "Rook Sucks Dick!" since in this game, someone might actually believe it.
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He looks like the same homosexual who took a testosterone injection. THIS SAID, I'm not blaming YOU, its the creator. The face looks plastered in makeup, the lips look too glossy, and there's subtle bedroom eyes.
 
Hooked on phobics said:
He looks like the same homosexual who took a testosterone injection. THIS SAID, I'm not blaming YOU, its the creator. The face looks plastered in makeup, the lips look too glossy, and there's subtle bedroom eyes.
Click to expand...

The weird part is, I actually had to deactivate the makeup. If you pick a male character to create, they actually start the build out with mascara on, and glitter! How gay is that?

That's a warning for anyone else doing a chud playthrough, they actually start your male character out with makeup and glitter on. Check all the options one-by-one, you will be amazed at what they try to sneak in to gay-up your character.

The sad part is, he is mostly a default. I kept the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, etc... the same as the default. I switched out the hair, eyebrows and eyelashes for the least gay options. I tried to fuck with the various options, but I have no talent for this shit, not to mention I am not going to spend hours in the damn character creator like some queer.

It's amazing how many sliders you have to fuck with just to make him actually white and not some weird off-yellow or off-brown derivative. There is actually a "melanin" (yes, that is actually the name they use) slider, and you can't set it below 60%.

I guess I'll just have to have him write "No Interest In Dick" on his forehead.
 
Mola Ram said:
For those of you interested in the secret history of Solas's rebellion, the six memories you can chase down have been posted:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=pXS8tJR57CY
You watch the memory, then literally have a roundtable discussion with your party, where they tell you exactly what the meaning of the memory was and why it's useful. It's incredibly bland and dull, and the way they talk like zoomers is just fucking grating. Taash continues to be both obnoxious and stupid.

EDIT: Not just his rebellion, but the origin of the elves and the blight. Fascinating stuff, delivered in the most tedious, boring way imaginable. It's like they tried to fuck this up.
Click to expand...
1730488093492.png

1730488139944.png

So the Blight is some sort of magic (maybe create by Solas and Mythal) that the other niggers wanted to use to become AIDS super-spreaders. Solas made the veil and trapped them and the blight in the fade, then he and Mythal became lyrium crack addicts and decided to kill all the titans for some reason?
What is the point of this?
I didn't watch the retarded exposition dumps because I don't hate myself enough.
 
I just noticed the game costs 59,99 €. That alone is a huge admission that they had no faith in this release because trust me, EA of all people definitely would have taken what is the current accepted "AAA" price for new releases, which is at least 69,99 up to 79,99. They are now all just waiting for GTA 6 to release for what I suspect will be 89,99 or maybe even 99,99 to set the new baseline.

I'm not sure how much that affected the sales numbers, but I'm sure its not nothing.
 
DagothUr said:
What is the point of this?
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It hardly matters. The roundtable discussions -- I can't believe we have fucking roundtable discussions in what's supposed to be an epic fantasy game; these assholes are literally sipping tea and lounging on couches in the same position every time even though these are clearly six different events -- are numbingly dull, partially because the dialogue ranges from workmanlike to just awful, and partially because you cannot make a roundtable discussion visually interesting. Important to note -- this is not dialogue. Every now and then Rook gets prodded for some input, but 75% of it is watching your teammates bullshit with each other and figure out what the memory meant.
 
Observotron said:
FWIW, I generally think something funny is going on with the game's numbers. Like I said earlier, a game with this much noteriety should have more reviews, whether they're from die hard fans trying to boost the reviews to positive, or the chuds trying to review bomb the game. Unless there are a massive amount of reviews being removed, there's no way that this game hasn't broken 5k reviews yet.
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pretty sure the bioware jannies clean up "problematic" reviews which affects the overall score. complaining about identity politics is transphobic after all...

otherwise the only other way to fuck with the numbers is pay people to buy it to boost the numbers, I doubt valve is on board with any shenanigans.
they could give away free keys, but that would show up in the reviews - which might be another reason for the weird amount of reviews, all those free keys can't write them before someone notices.
 
It’s a long winded way of doing exposition but like somehow in the most unnatural way possible.

DagothUr said:
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So the Blight is some sort of magic (maybe create by Solas and Mythal) that the other niggers wanted to use to become AIDS super-spreaders. Solas made the veil and trapped them and the blight in the fade, then he and Mythal became lyrium crack addicts and decided to kill all the titans for some reason?
What is the point of this?
I didn't watch the retarded exposition dumps because I don't hate myself enough.
Click to expand...
The blight appears to have been either pre resisting or corrupted titans blood. IDK? It’s not clear. The evanuris wanted to use the blight for supervillain reasons and they were stopped.

It’s basically a mythology tale about the hubris of gods, betrayal and regret.

Or at least it’s trying to be.
 
McSchlomo said:
I just noticed the game costs 59,99 €. That alone is a huge admission that they had no faith in this release because trust me, EA of all people definitely would have taken what is the current accepted "AAA" price for new releases, which is at least 69,99 up to 79,99. They are now all just waiting for GTA 6 to release for what I suspect will be 89,99 or maybe even 99,99 to set the new baseline.

I'm not sure how much that affected the sales numbers, but I'm sure its not nothing.
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-Laughs in $89.96 CAD price-

I know Canadian money isn’t worth the plastic it’s made of, but I’d cheerfully kill a man if it meant my hobby was less expensive like it is for you fuckers.

Seriously, I’d be half as critical on a lot of my complaints about modern vidya if it was just fucking cheaper….
 
It costs less than the $69 full AAA price, had no collectors editions worth anything, no battle pass, no dlc or anything substantive.


They allowed it day one on steam and not ea app or origin or whatever that got renamed to -- that's a 25%+ revenue hit right there. They tightly controlled reviews.

And it still failed to beat old games. This is, no joke, a disaster for bioware. There was a time they could release crap like this and get a million sales day one, but that was 2014 with inquisition. Can't pull the same move twice or three times with the stinger for yet another shadowy cabal lmfao.
 
Logoden said:
Alright, metacritic user reviews are starting to pop up.
PC : https://www.metacritic.com/game/dragon-age-the-veilguard/user-reviews/?platform=pc
View attachment 6587963
PS5 : https://www.metacritic.com/game/dragon-age-the-veilguard/user-reviews/?platform=playstation-5
View attachment 6587962
Xbox : https://www.metacritic.com/game/dragon-age-the-veilguard/user-reviews/?platform=xbox-series-x
View attachment 6587960
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The generally low number of reviews makes me think this is actual review bombing, like the scorching Steam review where the guy had maybe 20 minutes of playtime and all of his criticisms reflected videos that dropped in the last week. Like the player stats, we'll have to see if this trend holds over the long term. But if it does, eesh. Disaster.
 
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