Chris Livestream 4/16/2016 - Chris

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"Supportive of the virgin, snowflake community" :lol:
He didn't read this thoroughly before he broadcast it.

Whoever organised this did a good job.
 
You are laughing at this. As of 2025, Sonichu Entertainment of America is top dog among the Fortune 500.

Rate this optimistic as you like, but remember that in 1980, probably fewer people knew about Microsoft and Apple than do about Chris now. Also, neither Microsoft nor Apple ever had employee slumber parties. The free market works.
 
Pepsi said:
Also, I think we can all agree he named his new "company" 'Sonichu Entertainment of America' because that's the name of Nintendo's American branch, but I don't think he realizes that it's called 'Nintendo Entertainment of America" because Nintendo is a Japanese company, and therefore actually has a reason to differentiate it's branches by region...
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Let alone most global businesses tend to use the country or continent name for it's subsidiary branches anyway. That's just the standard. What he'd really needs to call his venture should be something like "Sonichu, LLC".

The Doctor said:
That's fine Chris, I've started a company called "Sonichu Entertainment of Europe" to handle the franchise outside of America. I'm running it on the behalf of the estate of Jimmy Hill.
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Bet it's got satellites in Brussels, Barcelona and Helsinki!
 
ELFairy said:
Is he serious? He's going to hire people to work for him and produce his art? And hire a person to help him with dating and sex? :lol:
I'm sure lots of women would love to work for Chris and have company slumber parties and be subtly sexually harassed on the job.
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It's already an improvement over "m-my mother will take care of that."


By the way, there aren't actually so many Amiibo orders that he can't keep up. In fact 6 out of 10 of his most recent sales are pure donations and only 1 of the leftovers are a medallion, no Amiibos at all. This is just the latest of a series of excuses he uses to not give out shit his buyers already paid for.
 
If you look at this new video the right way, it looks like Classic Chris' hair (thining as it is, and greasy) while he wears a big green feather boa around his shoulders.
 
4Macie said:
The Big Announcement for those that can't watch right now:
  • Because of the growth of sales, he is unable to sustain fulfilling Sonichu sales.
  • Be patient if you ordered a book, he's unable to get those right now but HE WILL. Just be patient!
  • He's spreading himself too thin because of in life stress
  • Sonichu Entertainment of America; a media company - store on Zazzle (spelling?) tshirts, hats, and mugs and "many exciting new products"
  • Hiring a team of talented professionals BUT HE'S STILL THE OWNER AND THE CREATOR
  • But it'll let him continue his Male to Female Transition!! Two weeks and 1 inch increase in his bust.
  • He wants trustworthy women who are like him to apply for his new company. Men are ok but he really prefers women.
  • They must have an 8th grade reading level or higher
  • Even though he prefers women to apply he is an equal opportunity employer
  • ALL employees will receive 25% from profits/sales, exclusive access to Chris, and access to gaming conventions and employee slumber parties
  • Opportunities for romantic encounters with Christine Chandler
  • Romantic coordinator is a position. Because Christine is too busy to find a sweetheart, he needs someone to find him a girlfriend or two.. or more. You will also be teaching him more about lesbian sex positions
  • Any women who are applying MUST be fit and attractive or at least pleasing to the eye
  • He also needs a woman body guard to teach him "kuk fo" (aka kung fu), rape defense, and other self defense arts
  • Brief 1 min complaint about autism and wants people to make an autism meme for him

    He doesn't say a name as far as I can tell; just says "associate"
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This is why Chris will never get boring.
 
I can't help but think Sonichu Entertainment of America is going to be like a real-world version of Kramerica Industries from Seinfeld. Except I don't think Kramer was shaft-deep in debt nor do I think he wanted to diddle his intern.


My favourite line? Perhaps "Learn from the Master"... the master of putting Playdoh or plasticine on Amiibos? Also, does he think what minimal market there might be for his custom Amiibos is going to settle from buying one from an lowly poorly-paid employee and not the "Master" himself?
 
This is a sexual harassment and discrimination lawsuit waiting to happen.

Also, the light shines off his balding spot very well.

Also, which one of you cheeky bastards is his "female associate" that wrote this for him?
 
Marvin said:
If Chris is looking for cuck-fu, he should be trying to hire Jake Rapp.

Also, did Chris say vaj-won-do?

He expects them to work on spec. Chris has tried in other venues to get people to work for him on the promise that Sonichu movies/tv shows/video games will be a huge hit, and then he can pay you back.
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Not sure about vag-won-do, but I wouldn't put it past him.

And he says he's going to pay eat of them with 25% of the profits of the sales. But, of course, Chris isn't as great at numbers as he tries to tell us he is.

Chris is planning to have a lot of workers (10-100) who will do his bidding. How is he going to pay EACH of them 25% of the profits?
 
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