Chris is going to Everfree Northwest - (Update July 31st: Chris is not going to Everfree Northwest)

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I think, like everyone, I just want to see Chris go just so they can see G5 being celebrated and a possible chimp out occurring that Hasbro could give less of a shit about their goddess complex. That or Chris organizing some massive protest bitch fit to cancel G5 and being dragged out of there.
extra point if Chris goes Hedgehog Defense Mode.
 
Well, the problem is Null said that, but now he's saying buy junk from Chris, which he probably won't deliver on anyway.

I like Null, but I don't understand his vested interest in Chris. He can't prevent Chris from dying alone, and stuff like this only serves to bolster his sense of entitlement.
Chris is Null’s last, best hope. Just like Jiro dreams of sushi, Null dreams of Sonichu merchandise.
 
Okay, let's assume that Chris does get to attend Everfree. Then what? A lot of people have been expressing hopes that it'll lead to some good content, or at least reminding us of the venerable mantra that, where Chris is concerned, no shit's too small.

But I think that it's highly unlikely that he'll have a Blarms/TMG-style meltdown. In the end, it's a Pony convention. These are Chris's people, or at the very least he sees them that way. And I think, in a very small way, he did learn from TMG. He learned, on the most atavistic and self-serving of levels, 'if I grope people in public, then I'll get thrown out'. I don't see him getting handsy at Everfree - he didn't at the Bronycon that came afterwards, after all.

The one possible trigger for him could be G5. The con will doubtless have merch official and otherwise inspired by the show, and who knows, maybe they may even have some episodes by then. We already know from Twitter that Dr Wolf, Chris's very own personal Jesus as @TheOnlyYamchaFan has dubbed him, has been posting about G5 a lot in what seems to be an approving and anticipatory manner, and Chris has just kept insisting that G5 isn't real and G4 is continuing. But Chris, as we know, had a similar dismissive, even hostile, approach to Equestria Girls when that first appeared. Shortly afterwards, it's his second favourite film ever.

If Chris insists on slagging off G5 openly at the con, then odds are pretty good that his beloved Anal Cysts may well decide to put clear and wide blue water between themselves and him, both IRL and online. And Chris doesn't want that. He'll probably keep schtum about it, and then suddenly turn out to have loved G5 all along a few months down the line.

We may well get a new comic out of it, but it won't be a good one. No new Sonichu japes for us. Like his previous Bronycon diary, it'll be him being smug about his psychic powers and how he danced with Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Silvana and Mewtwo. Odds are there may also be a brief incomprehensible aside about how they psychically saved Barbie-Chu on the astral plane before reaching the con from the evil forces of Reldnahc and Mary Lee Walsh.

Chris will enjoy himself at Everfree, unless (highly unlikely) Sockness does show up trying to get himself some flabby Chris-Chan arse. And that's it. I don't begrudge him a bit of pleasure in his life, but it's not going to lead to anything entertaining. 'Come on, Angry Chris!', we'll all be encouraging from the sidelines, 'don't make us do a clip show...'

But I fear that, in terms of content, a clip show is all that we'll get from Everfree. And a boring one at that.
 
Has Chris, himself, said anything about this yet?

Such as, why it has to be this particular convention in a State that’s all the way across the country. I am sure there’s some Brony Clip Clop Party happening on the Atlantic side sometime this year.

And does he believe this convention is some kind of mission relating to his silly dimension merge?

Ive stopped coming to this board, so I just hope this isn’t a nothing burger
 
If he wants to go to this convention and people are willing to pay for it (THEY ARE), then why can't I help him?
I really appreciate what you're trying to do and I agree that chris chan should work to get there...

Have you considered doing donation matching? Chris chan deserves a portion of the proceeds, but we all want him up off his ass. Maybe you match the amount he raises, but you only pay him once the drawings/shoutouts are done. Obviously put a reasonable max amount on it and the restriction that it's only for commissions he does through the go fund me or whatever.

That seems to accomplish the goal of helping him while making him work for it.

Good luck, Papa Null!
 
Kind of off topic, but I've been watching Jacob Sockness and it seems like he desperately wants to go to the convention and get some of that Chris cock. Of course, he can't afford to go, unless he can somehow muster the funds between now and then (he won't). Yet he thinks he can get across the country to Charlottesville, VA on nothing but an electric bike.


043FA7CB-2686-4DC7-9881-3BEE0F336774.jpeg

Null taking all the boyfreind free lolcows and leaving none for him. :(
 
Okay, let's assume that Chris does get to attend Everfree. Then what? A lot of people have been expressing hopes that it'll lead to some good content, or at least reminding us of the venerable mantra that, where Chris is concerned, no shit's too small.

But I think that it's highly unlikely that he'll have a Blarms/TMG-style meltdown. In the end, it's a Pony convention. These are Chris's people, or at the very least he sees them that way. And I think, in a very small way, he did learn from TMG. He learned, on the most atavistic and self-serving of levels, 'if I grope people in public, then I'll get thrown out'. I don't see him getting handsy at Everfree - he didn't at the Bronycon that came afterwards, after all.

The one possible trigger for him could be G5. The con will doubtless have merch official and otherwise inspired by the show, and who knows, maybe they may even have some episodes by then. We already know from Twitter that Dr Wolf, Chris's very own personal Jesus as @TheOnlyYamchaFan has dubbed him, has been posting about G5 a lot in what seems to be an approving and anticipatory manner, and Chris has just kept insisting that G5 isn't real and G4 is continuing. But Chris, as we know, had a similar dismissive, even hostile, approach to Equestria Girls when that first appeared. Shortly afterwards, it's his second favourite film ever.

If Chris insists on slagging off G5 openly at the con, then odds are pretty good that his beloved Anal Cysts may well decide to put clear and wide blue water between themselves and him, both IRL and online. And Chris doesn't want that. He'll probably keep schtum about it, and then suddenly turn out to have loved G5 all along a few months down the line.

We may well get a new comic out of it, but it won't be a good one. No new Sonichu japes for us. Like his previous Bronycon diary, it'll be him being smug about his psychic powers and how he danced with Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Silvana and Mewtwo. Odds are there may also be a brief incomprehensible aside about how they psychically saved Barbie-Chu on the astral plane before reaching the con from the evil forces of Reldnahc and Mary Lee Walsh.

Chris will enjoy himself at Everfree, unless (highly unlikely) Sockness does show up trying to get himself some flabby Chris-Chan arse. And that's it. I don't begrudge him a bit of pleasure in his life, but it's not going to lead to anything entertaining. 'Come on, Angry Chris!', we'll all be encouraging from the sidelines, 'don't make us do a clip show...'

But I fear that, in terms of content, a clip show is all that we'll get from Everfree. And a boring one at that.
With Chris being so painfully boring and repetitive these last years (except for this and that tiny happening), most reasonable people (lol) aren't even waiting for good Chris-chan content anymore, just... content.
 
'Null is a criminal and has caused deaths through his site.'

Is that an accusation, Sockness? From the same piece of shit who's posted before boasting about how he's supposedly killed vulnerable members of society for his dark bumsex rituals?
 
I definitely feel like Chris driving is the worst idea, given the state of the van and Chris's severe lack of experience outside of his little corner in Virginia. I doubt that machine has been properly maintained, and I'm sure Chris would get lost or stranded in bumfuck nowhere with basically no survival skills.

A plane would be fastest, and I think having the airline provide assistance might help a lot, especially if the airline knows ahead of time about Chris's autism. As many others predict, I think Chris would stir up trouble with security either by refusing to remove all the jewelry or something incredibly dumb like carrying pepper spray, etc. Chris has trouble behaving in court, so I HIGHLY doubt Chris would be a fun co-passenger on a cramped plane. I can barely get through the word salad Twitter rants, and would feel bad for any poor stranger with no knowledge of Chris Chan suddenly being a captive audience.

A train might be cool because there's stuff to look at outside and I think it would be more interesting for Chris. I've only been on a train once, but it was pretty fun and passengers had some freedom to get up and walk around. The one I was on also had a dining car, with a meal included in the trip (it was just a few hours, but I imagine a longer trip would include more meals) I'm personally very anxious about flying and have trouble with air pressure changes, but if I had to travel again without a car a train seems like a comfy option.

I personally don't think Chris going cross-country alone is the best idea, but if Chris is determined, Chris will find a way. There could be no money when the mortgage is due, but when Chris wants something money *will* come from somewhere. And I bet Chris is extra desperate to go to a convention after missing out last year

TL;DR: I vote for train
 
You mean the funniest idea. I have not been paying attention throughout Christory but.. has Chris ever travelled on an airplane?
Yes, when he was a child, out to California to see Cole.

Chris driving would be anticlimatic. The highway closest to him is one long few hundred mile hill he would need to go up. Chris also doesn't drive on highways around Ruckersville. His van would make it about 30 miles and crap out. He won't get stuck in bumfuck, he'll barely be able to get out of the county.

Not to mention he drives like a grandma. I-81 is a 70-85mph road, with heavy truck traffic, if he can't keep up, he'll get pulled over.
 
You mean the funniest idea. I have not been paying attention throughout Christory but.. has Chris ever travelled on an airplane?
I think possibly once, 30 years ago with Barbara. It's been rumored that they went to visit Cole but may 100% just be rumor.

While I find the concept of Chris trying to drive potentially funny, it also yields the highest chance of Chris getting stranded and dying of something stupid like trying to sleep in a car in the desert in the middle of August. I don't think Chris is a great person, but I also don't actively want Chris to die. Plus the only way we'd know about any of what happens in a car ride is from Chris, who might word-salad all over Twitter or crash trying to record a video/"doing math" instead of watching the road. Or piss someone off by driving like a granny and end up in a road rage incident.

Meanwhile, Chris in an airport whining at TSA about being a goddess and throwing a tantrum when asked to remove the medallion is more likely to be recorded. Chris harassing a cranky business woman who's already fed up with being stuck in an airport, Chris not realizing that alcohol is more effective at higher altitudes, lots of possibilities.

Can you imagine Chris shitting himself on a plane and forcing it to land, then going into Defensive Hedgehog Mode when staff try to evacuate the plane and clean up? Would Chris have the foresight to bring a change of clothes? Chris is more likely to make it to the convention and be documented by others if he's not driving.
 
Yes, when he was a child, out to California to see Cole.

Chris driving would be anticlimatic. The highway closest to him is one long few hundred mile hill he would need to go up. Chris also doesn't drive on highways around Ruckersville. His van would make it about 30 miles and crap out. He won't get stuck in bumfuck, he'll barely be able to get out of the county.

Not to mention he drives like a grandma. I-81 is a 70-85mph road, with heavy truck traffic, if he can't keep up, he'll get pulled over.
And if you think about it, if there are snakes on the side of the road Chris might try to run them over like the other snake he ran over.
 
Try to get him to do art and shoutouts, but don't honestly expect him to do them. God knows how many promises he already left unfulfilled, but twitter people will still give him enough money for a 2-way plane ride if he asks and pretends he's willing to draw for it. Just for the love of god have him make a video explaining this and not a tweet alone.
 
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