UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Mister Fister]

The Americans,specifically Joe Biden, shit canned any peace deal when the ruskies and europe agreed to putin's only red line of "do not park tanks on my borders". Biden was the only one to say "fuck you" to putin when the rest of europe knew it was a reasonable ask.
The rest of the negotiations on how far back those tanks should be and a possible dmz in exchange for cheap oil and gas could have happened. Ironically, what is going to happen now biden is gone, just with a death toll in the millions for the hassle.

you don't hate the americans enough.

We hate Biden more than you do.

 

[Trig.Point]

McSweeney is fast proving a greater liability than his Aunt (Sue Gray).

Starmer wants him gone - he is the one leaking out stuff to whoever will listen.

How crazy is it that his fucking aunt was Boris Johnson's senior civil servant... or that when Rachel from accounts had her melt down and burst into tears her sister and fellow MP was their to offer support.... before she went home to her husband who's a senior civil servant at the treasury..... nothing of which can be mentioned or you'll be sued into oblivion.

 

[EddyRooney]

Mr Polanski was loftily explaining why Britain still needs mass immigration. “One in five care workers are foreign nationals,” he said. “Now, I don’t know about you – but I don’t particularly want to wipe someone’s bum.”

Unless it's Richie Bryan's. Seems funny that a gay man would be so squeamish about somebody else's arse.

What an unintentionally revealing comment. It’s not just a dismally reductive way to describe a care worker’s job. It also sounds fantastically snobbish. Mr Polanski is aghast at the thought of having to “wipe someone’s bum” for a living – yet mere migrants, by contrast, will eagerly leap at the chance! So let these lowly foreigners come and wipe the backsides of their Western superiors – along with any other menial, badly paid jobs that we consider beneath us!

Hell, Polanski is gay, Jewish and vegan, a strong supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, pro-immigration, calling for unconditional solidarity and an end to HIV stigma, a former actor and hypnotherapist. I think it's possible that I might have found the person who represents and takes value in everything I don't. The fact that he is the opposite of my doppelganger, it is advisable that we are never in the same room together. Aside from the obvious reason, there is a possibility of total protonic reversal (matter-antimatter explosion).

 

[James X Maxwell]

lol @ the Irish for crying blue murder about Stakeknife

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

One of the downfalls of Ireland not being covered in UK history lessons is that you've got Green party 6th formers who think the troubles was where a bunch of English army guys decided to genocide Ireland for no reason.

 

[Clem Fandango]

Mr Polanski was loftily explaining why Britain still needs mass immigration. “One in five care workers are foreign nationals,” he said. “Now, I don’t know about you – but I don’t particularly want to wipe someone’s bum.”

Wow, history doesn't repeat itself, but it sure rhymes huh? Anyone remember about ten years ago Kelly Osborne (of all people) being on some panel show and making tye remark "if you deport all the undocumented migrants, who will clean our toilets?". And the other panelists sort of cringing and going oof you can't say that.

It's like, these elitist cunts never even learn from each other.

And why is it always to do with shit?

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

One of the downfalls of Ireland not being covered in UK history lessons is that you've got Green party 6th formers who think the troubles was where a bunch of English army guys decided to genocide Ireland for no reason.

Many years ago in the late 20th century when I was a mere stripling of a lad, yet to discover the joys of hard drink and racism, we actually covered the troubles as a module in GCSE history.

In short, everyone is awful and using soldiers as law enforcement in an undeclared warzone is retarded.

 

[Heinrich Maneuver]

It is with a heavy heart I report the passing of Nala, the Stevenage station cat. May she catch all the mice she wants in kitty heaven.

Also Mahmood is calling for the police to record and release the ethnicity of all offenders to avoid accusations of a conspiracy

 

[Made In Wales]

Mr Polanski was loftily explaining why Britain still needs mass immigration. “One in five care workers are foreign nationals,” he said. “Now, I don’t know about you – but I don’t particularly want to wipe someone’s bum.”

Unless it's Richie Bryan's. Seems funny that a gay man would be so squeamish about somebody else's arse.

What an unintentionally revealing comment. It’s not just a dismally reductive way to describe a care worker’s job. It also sounds fantastically snobbish. Mr Polanski is aghast at the thought of having to “wipe someone’s bum” for a living – yet mere migrants, by contrast, will eagerly leap at the chance! So let these lowly foreigners come and wipe the backsides of their Western superiors – along with any other menial, badly paid jobs that we consider beneath us!

Hell, Polanski is gay, Jewish and vegan, a strong supporter of LGBTQ+ rights, pro-immigration, calling for unconditional solidarity and an end to HIV stigma, a former actor and hypnotherapist. I think it's possible that I might have found the person who represents and takes value in everything I don't. The fact that he is the opposite of my doppelganger, it is advisable that we are never in the same room together. Aside from the obvious reason, there is a possibility of total protonic reversal (matter-antimatter explosion).

This reminds me of the story former Cynon Valley MP Ann Clwyd mentioned, when she was visiting her husband in hospital before he died there.

She expressed concern that he wasn't being properly nursed and was told by a Nurse 'I have a degree, I don't do pee, poo, blood or vomit.'

Ironically the Woke berate 'entitled people' when they are very much entitled.

I would love to prank Polanski into wiping somebody's bum - maybe a migrant's bumhole... after all he virtue-signals for them, therefore if one of them needs a literal hind in wiping their chocolate starfish I am sure he'd oblige - after all, would be racist not to:

 

[Midwit]

Why all the drugs and thieving - why aren’t there jobs for our young people?

If you're an urban youth, would you rather steal phones for £1k/night or work 40 hours in a poorly run scotch egg factory for £400/week?

 

[Coolio55]

If you're an urban youth, would you rather steal phones for £1k/night or work 40 hours in a poorly run scotch egg factory for £400/week?

And by "Night" we actually mean a combined total of maybe 5 minutes stealing, 6 hours clubbing.

 

[Made In Wales]

Some late news:

* Backlash mounts over NHS calls for Britons to wear face masks in public as 'super flu' sweeps nation (got a feeling it will mutate into a lot worse esp. in Birmingham)

* Police could be merged into 12 regional 'mega-forces' in 'generational' shake-up

* BBC admits falsely claiming Donald Trump wanted to shoot critic amid legal threats

* Donald Trump humiliates Keir Starmer with devastatingly effective move to stop Britain's small boats - Lee Cohen

* MPs pass 'Brexit betrayal' vote on rejoining customs union after crunch Commons debate (don't worry, it's yet to become law or even get a green or white paper)

* 'Greedy' army veteran who lied about health jailed after claiming £36,000 in benefits fraud

* The appointment of Baroness Longfield is a disgusting betrayal of grooming gangs survivors, says Patrick Christys

* 'Do not gaslight Britons!' Ex-Police Commissioner hands brutal takedown of Sadiq Khan after damning report

* 'Deluded!' New poll claiming pro-Brexit majority of 2016 have DIED blasted as ‘detached from reality’

* Engineer fighting for life after plummeting 20ft from British Airways jet at Heathrow Airport

* 'Completely unnecessary!' Reindeer farm owner hits out at council's decision to brand animals 'dangerous'

* Octopus Energy offers zero bills scheme guaranteeing 'no energy bills for 10 years' (but you must have a heat pump and smart meter)

* Economy in line to win £220bn investment 'prize' with disposable incomes to jump by £330 a year says Legal & General

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Police could be merged into 12 regional 'mega-forces' in 'generational' shake-up

I'm so fucking tired of this passing the buck shit that happens all the fucking time. Same with the council boundaries. You unite a bunch of them to 'ensure a better workflow' and then 10 years later they're switched back 'to prioritise community needs' and suddenly a fuckload of paperwork just goes missing.

If someone isn't doing a good job, fire them. All of this is such a transparent way of some upper management type using this project as a way to get a better job somewhere else and leaving the mess to someone else.

 

[Made In Wales]

I'm so fucking tired of this passing the buck shit that happens all the fucking time. Same with the council boundaries. You unite a bunch of them to 'ensure a better workflow' and then 10 years later they're switched back 'to prioritise community needs' and suddenly a fuckload of paperwork just goes missing.

If someone isn't doing a good job, fire them. All of this is such a transparent way of some upper management type using this project as a way to get a better job somewhere else and leaving the mess to someone else.

The Welsh Government has been trying to make Wales' four forces into one for the longest time and won't be told that the idea is unworkable.

The same 'we have a degree therefore we're the smart people' got rid of the cross-border 'triangle' agreements whereby Gwent Police worked with Avon & Somerset and Gloucestershire on sharing information about cross-border crimes and criminals for example.

I would love it if the Police did, in 2026, what they did 1over a century before in 1919 and threaten to go on strike and actually strike if the Government refuses to listen.

That is one power game the Government cannot win...

Policeman: 'Okay, we're going on strike because we disagree with these ideas.'
Starmer: 'Err, you can't strike, I won't let you.'
Policeman: 'Yes we can, all officers and other personnel have stood down.'
Starmer: 'Right, I'm going to call the Police and report you then..'

Policeman:

 

[Turquoise]

* Police could be merged into 12 regional 'mega-forces' in 'generational' shake-up

How very modern.

You saw a fugitive murderer in Scarborough? Okay, thanks Madam. Would you be available to come to Manchester Megastation next week to make a witness statement?... Great. Just ask for Chief Inspectorette Khan when you arrive.

 

[BongoMongo]

You only need to look at at Police Scotland to see how absolutely terrible an idea it is.

Just when I think labour can't be more retarded, they go and blow my expectations harder than Starmer chowing down on lord alis cock.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Police could be merged into 12 regional 'mega-forces' in 'generational' shake-up

Reviving another blair-era fuckwit idea because they just can't help themselves. You'll be able to publish this article next year with a few of the names changed and nothing else different.

ELEVEN months of behind the scenes manipulation, strong arm tactics and threats have exploded in the face of the Home Office, a department already in crisis over a failed asylum and immigration policy, the deportation of foreign criminals, rows over the sentencing of murders and paedophiles, and the ID cards fiasco.

 

[Otterly]

Mega police forces are a shit idea. The police used to police their own communities. Everywhere had a small station, and local police knew the area and who the local trouble were. They also lived among the people they policed, which was a strong disincentive to any kind of brutality or shenanigans. If you know your kids go to school with the community kids, and your wife is a community member you don’t piss off the community,
All that is gone now. It means the police act at yet another remove from those they are supposed to police and serve.

 

[FedPostalService]

Also Mahmood is calling for the police to record and release the ethnicity of all offenders to avoid accusations of a conspiracy

This will be like America and we’ll suddenly have a lot of very brown “white” people with names that sound like Star Wars planets.

 

[Russian Bot #5361]

If you're an urban youth, would you rather steal phones for £1k/night or work 40 hours in a poorly run scotch egg factory for £400/week?

That's the craziest part, there are very few people making 1k a night. Your average street rat is making much less than 1k a night, in fact, most low-level drug dealers often make less than minimum wage — risking imprisonment lmao.

Street rips of phones and petty robberies especially make even less money, as these days many phones place hardware verification lock on parts and on the device itself, meaning the device has to be shipped overseas to be prepared for re-sale.

The usual suspects only engage in this behaviour because they are often so antisocial that they can't hold down a job, as following basic instructions and being subordinate to another without violence is not in their vocabulary.

Mega police forces are a shit idea. The police used to police their own communities.
...
It means the police act at yet another remove from those they are supposed to police and serve.

I wholeheartedly agree with you, but I think the reason for this centralisation is more insidious than mere cost and "efficiency" considerations.

My pet theory is that the further centralisation of the police serves to place as many officers under the thumb of a few individuals, meaning government may more easily direct the actions of the organisations as a whole, as the heads will be divorced from regional representatives — think the head of North East Sprawl Police reacting to representatives from Darlington.

A decentralised police force is a threat to the authoritarians in Parliament, as autonomy allows independent decision making — including the policing of political protests —and the powers that be simply couldn't have that.

Moreover, how else is Kier Starmer to cum at night? He can't get off without thinking of all the ways that he's fucked over the Everyman, so we all have to be good little boys and girls and take another beating from daddy government.