UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs
2764.png


7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
See spread happiness's other Tweets
Twitter Ads info and privacy


Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

View image on Twitter


pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
See pg often's other Tweets
Twitter Ads info and privacy


TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.
Click to expand...

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Click to expand...
TBF Spitting Image is taking potshots at all sides - I don't necessarily agree with every gag/quip but it's a hell of a lot more funny than HIGNFY.

The Connolly and Migrant jokes are actually quite clever as they are mimicking what your typical Guardian Reader thinks and thereby taking a swipe at their biogted and self-righteous beliefs - ergo, these people laugh at Spitting Image when really it is they who are being lampooned as they can't get sarcasm (think of when Pep Guardiola mockingly and sarcastically shook the hands of match officials at a Liverpool v Man City game and said 'thank you, thank you' - the match officials couldn't work out that he was mocking them until the penny dropped a lot later).

Ironically it's the HIGNFY crowd who want Spitting Image cancelled for daring to mock Dear Leader Starmer because when they see direct mockery and lampooning of somebody and something they like, they cannot take it. I can take mocking of Farage, Trump etc. as I'm not a six year old sniveling retard, but they cannot ever take any critique or 'bullying' when comedy is 'weaponised' against them.
 
Ban slingshots all you want, it's a pussy weapon. Excuse me while I fetch my unbelievably still legal British Longbow.

blogpost: I saw a crossbow for sale today in a high street shop that sold things which are just straight up illegal. £75 with 5 sharpened metal-tipped bolts. It wasn't a toy either, it looked like a serious piece of kit.
 
Looks like the Tories are dying up in Mancunia, with Kemi comparing Nigel to a pig (Sir Oinksalot most affected) and the defections to Reform UK keep on coming.

Sir John Curtice has recently spelt out how difficult things are for them, and a contact of mine recently emailed him about the possibility of a GE before 2029... his response was very interesting:

'Never say never, there are currently the correct conditions for an earlier than anticipated General Election and many people believe that removing Sir Keir Starmer is more important than whether or not it is Nigel Farage who becomes the next Prime Minister, though it is highly likely that he would be.'

Across the River Irwell, Salford City fans are turning against their owner Gary Neville and demanding he quit the League 2 club as a co-owner with David Beckham and Nicky Butt.

Two more aides have quit Downing Street as the never-ending problems with the Government become ever more farcical. 'The Thick Of It' has morphed into reality.

Plus Vegan Sausages Rolls could now be BANNED - but only in Northern Ireland, due to a Brexit deal.

Edit: Welsh MP called out for 'fat shaming' Sir Ed Davey:


 
Last edited:
Made In Wales said:
Looks like the Tories are dying up in Mancunia, with Kemi comparing Nigel to a pig (Sir Oinksalot most affected) and the defections to Reform UK keep on coming.
Click to expand...

Starkey's convinced the conservatives are in the process of total collapse, for what it's worth.

Interesting short speech on the topic, touching on how they conservatives became "conservative" rather than "tory":

 
Clem Fandango said:
Have you seen modern Dennis the Menace? He doesn't have a slingshot, and he's got a friend in a wheelchair. He would be bullied by 80s Dennis.
Click to expand...
Bash street kids have a few pakis in them too.

Edit: even worse, i looked it up, theres a nigger whose basically the main character, Fatty's called Freddy and Spotty's called Scotty. Honestly fuck DC Thomson. The broons and oor wullie were good shitter reading material before smartphones were invented. Shall I be the first lucky kiwi to ever get a MATI sticker over the beano and the dandy? I dread to think what theyve done to desperate dan. Probably gave him an escaped slave for a sidekick.
 
Last edited:
Made In Wales said:
Looks like the Tories are dying up in Mancunia,
Click to expand...
There was some hilarious cope from Kemi the other day about the allegedly shit attendance:
Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch has insisted attendees at her party conference can feel "the buzz" as she rejected suggestions that some empty seats for events were a sign that her leadership is failing to energise party activists.

The main hall has not been full for speeches by members of the shadow cabinet but Badenoch said her own speech had been "standing room only".

She said that many of the popular events took place not in the main hall but at fringe events, where people were having to queue to get in.

The Conservative leader also argued that because the party was no longer in government there were fewer "people turning up wanting government favours".
"They've gone to Labour conference," she said.

"We used to be teeming with corporate lobbyists, now we are teeming with party members."
Click to expand...
Bitch if people would rather go to fringe events than shit involving the shadow cabinet then you absolutely have a fucking problem.
 
East_Clintwood said:
There was some hilarious cope from Kemi the other day about the allegedly shit attendance:

Bitch if people would rather go to fringe events than shit involving the shadow cabinet then you absolutely have a fucking problem.
Click to expand...

ffs she's a nigger leading the tories. everyone knows she's a placeholder to help deflect shit until there's some green shoots for the party. she's not even british. nobody's voting a sheboon into number 10 lol
 
fakemon said:
ffs she's a nigger leading the tories. everyone knows she's a placeholder to help deflect shit until there's some green shoots for the party. she's not even british. nobody's voting a sheboon into number 10 lol
Click to expand...
I was visiting family over the weekend and my dad, who is full on Labour nigger cattle who will only ever vote Labour, said “she wasn’t even born here.”

Now, how does that fly with boomers who don’t vote like it is a team sport?
 
FedPostalService said:
I was visiting family over the weekend and my dad, who is full on Labour nigger cattle who will only ever vote Labour, said “she wasn’t even born here.”

Now, how does that fly with boomers who don’t vote like it is a team sport?
Click to expand...
I can't judge this statement without knowing more information that you absolutely won't tell me.
Is your Dad a Labour voter who liked Blair?
Is your Dad Christian?
Is he British by birth or convenience?
Is your Dad someone who understands why the Labour party exists?

My Dad might still be voting Labour, but he loathed Blair and Brown, and, most importantly, he's been dead for a decade and a half.

If I'd failed to teach him modern politics, and spent the last fifteen years with the opportunity to do so, I'd feel like I had failed as a daughter.
 
FuckedOffToff said:
I can't judge this statement without knowing more information that you absolutely won't tell me.
Is your Dad a Labour voter who liked Blair?
Is your Dad Christian?
Is he British by birth or convenience?
Is your Dad someone who understands why the Labour party exists?

My Dad might still be voting Labour, but he loathed Blair and Brown, and, most importantly, he's been dead for a decade and a half.

If I'd failed to teach him modern politics, and spent the last fifteen years with the opportunity to do so, I'd feel like I had failed as a daughter.
Click to expand...
Norf FC boomer who votes Labour because the Tories are evil despite him being retired from his own business, owning his own house and car, and can go on holiday every year all because of the Tories.

He’s from that post-war generation that grew upon in a hovel before the slum clearances and was involved with unions before they actively hated the working class and became protection rackets.

There’s no deep analysis to it, he voted Labour because it is his team like the guy in the formerly nice town ten minutes drive away votes Tory despite the Tories filling his town with gypsies and African boat monkeys.

Politics is a team sport to most people in the UK.
 
Last edited:
Crunkle said:
NERD ALERT
Click to expand...
Going to shove you in one of those pig trough urinals and piss on your homework nerd. Interesting though. Any financial incentive to take part in an opinion survey like that should immediately invalidate it. Even the random street ones where they just offer you money are still incredibly biased for the same reasons. How does that work though £8 a month for all my streaming data, ok, I can somewhat understand, but then £1 a month for all of my data? How? How is the 'all your internet usage' not also streaming? I guess if it's on a 'smart' tv? But is that really it? I don't know much about data prices and shit like that but surely knowing what tv slop I watch is no way worth 8x knowing everything I do online is.
Crunkle said:
posties conceal and carry these
Click to expand...
Fucking postman pat and his ccw trebuchet. Someone tried a mugging in front of me the other day little did he know I had my pocket warwolf, took me a few days to get it set up but once I did that fucker's skull was just like the walls of a french castle.
Cloaca Rimjob said:
I'm drawing the line at my peashooter
Click to expand...
I know they're functionally the same but you do realise the subcontinentals aren't actually zombies right? Even if they were this is more of a melonpult/gloomshroom situation than a peashooter/torchwood one.
Symbol of the Chud said:
I didn't need to know that the beano has been completely niggerized.
Click to expand...
Are you surprised? The comic book known for misbehaving unruly children is now niggers? That's just good representation imo.
 
Cloaca Rimjob said:
Shall I be the first lucky kiwi to ever get a MATI sticker over the beano and the dandy? I dread to think what theyve done to desperate dan. Probably gave him an escaped slave for a sidekick.
Click to expand...
Don't worry, the Dandy has been mostly dead for the past 13 years.
Only sold as annuals now, though who can say what goes on in them.
The beano is fucked though, god damn, never have I wanted something I once held precious to be destroyed utterly this much.

Edit: this is the worst fucking thing I've ever seen.
this is the worst fucking thing ever.jpg
 
Symbol of the Chud said:
Don't worry, the Dandy has been mostly dead for the past 13 years.
Only sold as annuals now, though who can say what goes on in them.
The beano is fucked though, god damn, never have I wanted something I once held precious to be destroyed utterly this much.

Edit: this is the worst fucking thing I've ever seen.
View attachment 8013718
Click to expand...
Fuck me. The Minx from Dundee idolising an English footballer. Come the fuck on.

Hope she’s got an ABE shirt on under her red and black jumper.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom