UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Symbol of the Chud]

If, purely hypothetically, Starmer was shot and bleeding out with just minutes to live, do you think he'd even realize he was dying?

If somebody were to shoot Starmer, there's a non-zero chance that he just shrugs off the bullet with his reinforced titanium skeleton protecting his vital computation components. His father was a toolmaker, and Starmer was his greatest creation of all.

 

[Le b0wski]

If, purely hypothetically, Starmer was shot and bleeding out with just minutes to live, do you think he'd even realize he was dying?

More a confusion as to why the bribes have stopped.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Children do need to be banned from social media but nothing they do will stop the problem of ignorant parents allowing it. The internet is terrible for kids (and most adults) and I'm not sure what a real solution is. The elites will continue to use it to censor the internet and not solve the problem.

 

[Hey Johnny Bravo]

Captain Planet

Do you Brits also Captain Planetpost, like we do in USPG, or do you guys do something else instead? Like Frank Sidebottomposting?

 

[SirCliveSinclairdabbing]

Do you Brits also Captain Planetpost, like we do in USPG, or do you guys do something else instead? Like Frank Sidebottomposting?

We do love a bit of Alan Titmarshing on Thursdays and some Mondays we go full Charlie Dimmock.

 

[BongoMongo]

Charlie Dimmock.

Good Lord no, have you seen the size of her recently?

She's like a fat baby elephant in a ginger wig.

 

[Otterly]

Good Lord no, have you seen the size of her recently?

She's like a fat baby elephant in a ginger wig.

We all know why she’s popular with the gents…
Funny how gardening programs became a hotbed of degeneracy - doesn’t titchmarsh write erotica? He’s no Percy Thrower anyway. I want my gardening tips from grizzled elderly men and women in worn Burberry and tartan only, thank you very much.
As for starmer - you could just take the fuse out or rub the sigil off his forehead and he’d just wind down in a corner somewhere.

 

[Gregis]

Boriswave

What clubs are playing Boriswave? What kind of drugs do you do while you listen?

Roald Dahl was born to Norwegian Immigrant parents and he alone has contributed more to British culture than quite literally an infinite amount of browns ever will.

And he hated the French more than anyone I know!

 

[Otterly]

What clubs are playing Boriswave? What kind of drugs do you do while you listen?

The Garret
Very expensive brandy (trebles all round.)

 

[Crunkle]

What clubs are playing Boriswave? What kind of drugs do you do while you listen?

Pontificus vagazzle (street name: cocaine)

 

[Overly Serious]

If somebody were to shoot Starmer, there's a non-zero chance that he just shrugs off the bullet with his reinforced titanium skeleton protecting his vital computation components. His father was a toolmaker, and Starmer was his greatest creation of all.

My money would be on him releasing spores. I'm convinced he's some variety of mushroom.

 

[Crunkle]

My money would be on him releasing spores. I'm convinced he's some variety of mushroom.

I love how this makes sense for some reason, even if I couldn't tell you exactly why.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Do you Brits also Captain Planetpost, like we do in USPG, or do you guys do something else instead? Like Frank Sidebottomposting?

We greggspost.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

When I'm Prime Minister I'm locking children in glass sarcophagus' until they are 35 years old. No phones. No TikTok. No social media. No Andrew Tate. It'd ensure that no boys RAPE women after playing violent video games and girls will be safe from RAPE... until it emerges that we employed janitors at the glass sarcophagus holding point who were paedos who would unlock them whenever they wanted.

 

[Muad'Dick]

Good Lord no, have you seen the size of her recently?

She's like a fat baby elephant in a ginger wig.

Its a national tragedy what happened to Charlie Dimmock. Its almost worth applying for a lottery grant to build a memorial garden for her, like the one we have for Princess Di. Only with turnstiles so Charlie can't get in.

She was a proper Land Rover girl in her prime.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Good Lord no, have you seen the size of her recently?

She's like a fat baby elephant in a ginger wig.

I would rather fuck the elephant in the wig than her at this point. She's fucking gross. Deathfat gross.

We all know why she’s popular with the gents…

She's not popular any more. In her prime? Sure. She was a big of rough easy on the eye. Easy to see why Titchmarsh had so many blue bells around here. Lots of gents dropping some snow watching her on the telly. Now? She's fat enough to have a thread in deathfats.

Funny how gardening programs became a hotbed of degeneracy - doesn’t titchmarsh write erotica? He’s no Percy Thrower anyway. I want my gardening tips from grizzled elderly men and women in worn Burberry and tartan only, thank you very much.

They've become a primary propaganda genre. All the DIY aligned shows are full of gays and foreigners. They were always fruity but it's become unwatchable.

 

[teriyakiburns]

I want my gardening tips from grizzled elderly men and women in worn Burberry and tartan only, thank you very much.

Bring back Bob Flemming!

 

[Special spoonie]

he will still give him a pathetic as fuck sentence. Probably like a year then put him back in Epping to spite the local population.

As predicted the rapey Epping migrant is only getting a 12 month sentence.
Will reassess in a year when he’s given the asylum and bennys on release. We truly are a joke of a country.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Ah poop, dickie bird just died. 92.

I doubt he'd recognise the typical Yorkshire local club today.

 

[Nopenopenope]

As predicted the rapey Epping migrant is only getting a 12 month sentence.
Will reassess in a year when he’s given the asylum and bennys on release. We truly are a joke of a country.

Again, I don't understand why he has been sent to prison in this country at all. People would be surprised how much it costs to house an inmate, it's really expensive plus he's taking up space a wrong thinker might need later. Deport the cunt!