UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Also, please be aware that rumours (nothing to do with Fleetwood Mac this time) have started that Starmer wants Private Households to take in Migrants.

Yesss. Do it Keir. Force families to house Africa's finest rape-apes. I estimate the time for the first set of Alabama wind chimes to appear would be about 30 minutes.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

It’ll be like the Ukraine scheme - some minor amount of money and some asspats to take one on. But I do remember the bedroom tax, and how very odd that was

The same Ukraine scheme that had Indian men show up at people's homes? Because that was damned funny.

 

[Graphite Dog]

While it's probably not directly relevant to most Kiwis, A-level results day was this Thursday. Whether test takers secured their university place, grabbed one through clearing or are proceeding down an apprenticeship route, I hope they have a chance to flourish.

There are lots of articles out there and they mostly make the same points year-after-year. I've not had any reason to follow events closely, so here's one which piqued my interest. The BBC published a discussion between two teenagers (okay, one is 20) about whether or not to go to university. I think you'll all want to slap at least one.
Video
Article (Archive)

Spoiler: Opinions

While I agree that university isn't going to be the best path for most people, giving up an Oxford place for a sponsored degree at Dyson (a company which plans to cut one third of its UK workforce) seems shortsighted. Even coming from an impoverished background and having to live with the student loan, I think I'd take an Oxbridge engineering degree over a job with a company which will cut me for an Indian the first chance it gets.

I don't have a particularly strong opinion on the Nigerian lady personally and I wish her the best. Midwifery is a respectable trade and I can't condemn that. She's a symptom of our governments addiction to migration and understanding of people as units of economic value. One more young brick in the bottom of the demographic pyramid, another healthcare worker to free up capacity for the pensioners and dependents, another inflation-linked loan to sell on...

I think my main takeaway from this is that while adults are dumb and kids are even dumber, expecting eighteen year olds to make well reasoned decisions about their future is one of the dumbest things imaginable.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

I would hate to have a baby with that woman as the midwife. Imagine coming into the world and the first thing you see is Kenan from Kenan and Kelly with tits. Would fuck you up for life.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

While it's probably not directly relevant to most Kiwis, A-level results day was this Thursday. Whether test takers secured their university place, grabbed one through clearing or are proceeding down an apprenticeship route, I hope they have a chance to flourish.

Completely off topic but has anyone else noticed that the people who complain about 'muh ejucaton din not do teach me tax' are all people that were in the sen set for maths and shit? The people that never listened to 2+2=4 are the people complaining that they don't know how to do taxes as if it's not the same shit and if you're too much of human chaff to sit through gcse maths what the fuck makes you think that you would ever be able to sit through the go to example of boring adult shit. Literally everyone who complains about not understanding taxes was in the group of people that would get searched by police for drugs and end up having shit on them. Like yea little 14 year old you would have loved to learn about taxes and definitely would not have spent the entire class dying to run away to go smoke weed and thirsting over the teacher or some classmate that ended up getting you pregnant at 16.

 

[Otterly]

The same Ukraine scheme that had Indian men show up at people's homes? Because that was damned funny.

Really? I hadn’t heard of that (link if you’ve got one so I can chuckle with horror?) I had only heard of people being well meaning and then having some massive clan of nightmares descend on them that they could t get rid of

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

How many British people would die of embarrassment if Discount Donna Noble were representing them on the world stage?

I refuse to die from that but I would consider trying perfect an American accent before I went abroad if she got in.

 

[ghj123]

They are. At the very fucking least england is not bossing america around. If you want to say that the uk is subservient then feel free to try. But the fucking whitehouse has explicitly stated that they fucking hate the ofcom shit and are looking into legally challenging it. But hey can't expect an american to know anything about what's going on.

The whitehouse never lies.
I did not have censorual relationships with that country.

 

[prayforpills]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Obwa_lqjlY&ab_channel=BritishLandeur

>woman grabs knife in her own kitchen after migrapist breaks into home
>gets charged for possession of an offensive weapon

I'm applying for a gun license. I gotta backyard and no one would miss you.

 

[Kofi Drinka]

Really? I hadn’t heard of that (link if you’ve got one so I can chuckle with horror?) I had only heard of people being well meaning and then having some massive clan of nightmares descend on them that they could t get rid of

Browns do this a lot. They think they're getting a mother and her kid and it's some rapey bloke.

 

[Otterly]

I refuse to die from that but I would consider trying perfect an American accent before I went abroad if she got in.

Entire cabinet sat there wearing ‘I’m with stupid’ T shirts

 

[Graphite Dog]

Completely off topic but has anyone else noticed that the people who complain about 'muh ejucaton din not do teach me tax' are all people that were in the sen set for maths and shit? The people that never listened to 2+2=4 are the people complaining that they don't know how to do taxes as if it's not the same shit and if you're too much of human chaff to sit through gcse maths what the fuck makes you think that you would ever be able to sit through the go to example of boring adult shit. Literally everyone who complains about not understanding taxes was in the group of people that would get searched by police for drugs and end up having shit on them. Like yea little 14 year old you would have loved to learn about taxes and definitely would not have spent the entire class dying to run away to go smoke weed and thirsting over the teacher or some classmate that ended up getting you pregnant at 16.

Completely agree, but I think there is something to be said for making PSHE a bigger part of the GCSE curriculum, up there with maths and English. HMRC can screw them via PAYE and I don't care if they don't understand why. It's a low threshold, but if they can keep themselves clean, fed, don't drive without insurance and only stab each other their school might actually have done a decent job. Good luck finding a teacher willing to do it for the pay, though. Talking about school makes me feel old

 

[Made In Wales]

Completely off topic but has anyone else noticed that the people who complain about 'muh ejucaton din not do teach me tax' are all people that were in the sen set for maths and shit? The people that never listened to 2+2=4 are the people complaining that they don't know how to do taxes as if it's not the same shit and if you're too much of human chaff to sit through gcse maths what the fuck makes you think that you would ever be able to sit through the go to example of boring adult shit. Literally everyone who complains about not understanding taxes was in the group of people that would get searched by police for drugs and end up having shit on them. Like yea little 14 year old you would have loved to learn about taxes and definitely would not have spent the entire class dying to run away to go smoke weed and thirsting over the teacher or some classmate that ended up getting you pregnant at 16.

Though, I will say that school can set certain children up to fail.

In English, we had five straight years of Shakespeare - no Dylan Thomas, Terry Pratchett, Bill Bryson etc. just the Bald Bard of Brummieland. Didn't care much for him then or now.

Same with Maths - 2 pi R - when am I going to need to know 2 pi R or advanced calculus? Teach me how to add, subtract, multiply and divide and I'll be fine. Algebra as well - never used it.

I do get that some Teachers care but are too poop scared to say to their Union bosses 'well actually the kids aren't interested in a, b and c but are interested in d, e and f, can we change things round to suit them?' After all, it's weird that the Teachers have a Union or two but the kids have zero representation.

Plus, have you seen what some schools look like today? High fences, CCTV everywhere, Security Guards, Staff who look like a bulldog chewing a wasp... it's almost as if they've become HMP's instead of inspiring, friendly and welcoming places of learning.

 

[Morethanabitfoolish]

Entire cabinet sat there wearing ‘I’m with stupid’ T shirts

"This idiot unfortunately does speak for us."

 

[Eddie Riggs]

Same with Maths

Heh.

Maths.

 

[Made In Wales]

Heh.

Maths.

Still have no idea about Pi, other than he/she apparently had a film made about him/her.

Teach a child to save money and the child should be grateful.

Teach a child mind-numbing gunk which has no practical use in the outside world and no wonder a few of them will consider school as boring, dumb or a form of torture.

Mind you, RE was the kicker for me as my teacher also did Sex Ed... we'd go from analysing Matthew's Gospel to imagining her in the Lotus Position in minutes.

 

[Graphite Dog]

In English, we had five straight years of Shakespeare - no Dylan Thomas, Terry Pratchett, Bill Bryson etc. just the Bald Bard of Brummieland. Didn't care much for him then or now.

Shakespeare's plays were meant to be performed, not religiously dissected by 16 year olds 400+ years on. Good actors can still do a lot with his work today. If you're looking for something from the same era which is a bit more popcorn-y Marlowe is a good one. It's primarily a question of resources for teachers; GCSE and A level English do give you some options these days but there's just so much stuff out there on Shakespeare he's a lot easier to teach.

Same with Maths - 2 pi R - when am I going to need to know 2 pi R or advanced calculus? Teach me how to add, subtract, multiply and divide and I'll be fine. Algebra as well - never used it.

I do get that some Teachers care but are too poop scared to say to their Union bosses 'well actually the kids aren't interested in a, b and c but are interested in d, e and f, can we change things round to suit them?' After all, it's weird that the Teachers have a Union or two but the kids have zero representation.

They're just trying to teach for the test. Get below a C (5? or whatever number it is now) in Maths+English Language and into the recycling bin you go.

 

[femboy fart huffer]

Completely agree, but I think there is something to be said for making PSHE a bigger part of the GCSE curriculum

I mean technically it isn't. It's just taught at the same time as gcses. But when I think back to our pshe it did cover these sorts of important social issues, just no one gave a shit because everyone thought 'oh I won't need this until I'm an adult in like 50 years' because children are shortsighted as fuck and ~4 years away at that point is like a third of your memorable lifespan so it sounds like it's much longer away than it really is. I don't disagree that teaching kids this sort of shit is important, I just don't think that you could realistically do it. The purpose of school is to give a foundation for shit to then be built on. Pshe should give you a base of how society works, but it shouldn't be a full blown life guide. Same with taxes, the purpose is to make people good with numbers so that when they need to figure something out in the future they can figure it out instead of just following a step by step tutorial.

In English, we had five straight years of Shakespeare - no Dylan Thomas, Terry Pratchett, Bill Bryson etc. just the Bald Bard of Brummieland. Didn't care much for him then or now.

I'm just fully assuming based on reading your posts that you're probably a decent bit older than I am so it's probably different just from that. We definitely didn't do just shakespeare. I don't think we had a single person's work for more than one segment. I don't want to say what we did in case it was local and limited to a small enough time period to dox me but we did 4 books (shakespeare is a book fight me) 2 poems, an advert and a film, plenty of other smaller super quick things thrown in there too.

Same with Maths - 2 pi R - when am I going to need to know 2 pi R or advanced calculus? Teach me how to add, subtract, multiply and divide and I'll be fine. Algebra as well - never used it.

People always say that shit. Yea you will never need to know that, especially in the modern day. The purpose of maths isn't to teach kids important life lessons, that's why it's maths class not sex ed or pshe. The purpose is to set a foundation, yea you might never need pir2, you might never need sohcahtoa, you might never need eipi, you might never need any of that shit. But you will if you keep going up the ladder of education. You can't jump in at eipi if you can't figure out pir2. In an ideal world you keep going up that ladder until you hit the point where you can no longer learn, where it becomes too complicated for your brain to understand. The reason for learning these things isn't that you will use them, it's that you can tell your employer that you have the ability to understand and learn mathematical concepts that 50% or 25% or 5% or 0.5% of the population can, then the employer just picks from those groups depending on how complicated the job is. Ideally. Even at a basic level, a set of gcses could be the distinguishing factor between someone that understands electricity enough to apply for a welding course at trade school or someone who would end up killing themselves with it. The difference between someone who can be trusted to count change for customers or the person that probably can't even stock shelves without getting confused. Yea maybe it's overly generic and not really useful but how else do you do it? Do you tell the kid at 14 to pick the specifics for their career that they want? Though pir2 is past then so you'd have to go back to like 10 years old and get them to pick their career path if you didn't want to ever teach something generic and not day to day useful.

You shouldn't think of education qualifications as something you will always use, it is instead just a fancy aptitude test that can be used for every person and every job.

Also you really do not understand how much of the entire world depends on the exact things you said. Pretty much every single calculator needs adcalc to do anything beyond adding things. The entirety of electronics needs at least some understanding of calculus and literally every single piece of electronics only exists because of that sort of shit. People don't realise just how important maths is just because they don't see it's impact, it's the silent stem course. Biology you see in medicine and biochem, chem in biochem and foodsci and other just general consumer chemical shit, physics in literally all electronics and engineering. But how do I see the imact of maths? I can't look at a bridge and count it's struts and appreciate the reams of paperwork that went into it's construction or the even higher advanced maths functions that allow for those things to be calculated at all. Even in the other stem subjects, yea ok people look at medicine and go yea probably need biology for that, some people will understand you also need an equally as high understanding of chemistry, hardly anyone will realise that both of those are just forms of maths. Biology is niche chemistry, chemistry is niche physics, physics is niche maths. Everything is maths, it's maths all the fucking way down.

Plus, have you seen what some schools look like today? High fences, CCTV everywhere, Security Guards, Staff who look like a bulldog chewing a wasp... it's almost as if they've become HMP's instead of inspiring, friendly and welcoming places of learning.

Yea but more importantly have you seen not just what schools look like but what they're made of? The vast majority of newly built school buildings are fucking plastic dogshit that will fall apart in a decade all while the old ones stand just as strong for their 5th century. I don't want to, no, I don't care actually, I will bring it back and not appologise, they are worse than newbuild houses. Every single problem that plagues them with plague school buildings but much worse. They also take out massive loans or spend all the money the school had on these things. They get the schools into debt for no fucking reason and the debt will be around for much longer than the decade that the building will last. And yea it sucks that schools are one stop off of barbed wire but at the same time the quality of the kids has plummeted so I wouldn't want them escaping. I mean we always did. We'd just go climb over the fence at lunch and go down the shops and you'd say hi to the old women and dog walkers and they wouldn't care. Looking at the current generation they would either be unable to climb a fence or would end up biting the old women or some shit. And at the same time the outside is more dangerous. Yea they're more secure than prisons but I would rather have them secure than with open gates like my old school did. Anything to keep the rapists limited to just the employees.

I do take issue with saying they look like prisons though. To me they don't. They look like amazon warehouses.

 

[Overly Serious]

Really? I hadn’t heard of that (link if you’ve got one so I can chuckle with horror?) I had only heard of people being well meaning and then having some massive clan of nightmares descend on them that they could t get rid of

The funniest story was the Daily Mail reporting that some man had left his wife for the Ukranian refugee they'd taken in. I mean, that's not funny but the article quoted him saying: "I came home from work and she'd cooked dinner" and I thought well fuck - his missus is not going to compete with that. These Ukrainian women clearly understand a man's needs.

In English, we had five straight years of Shakespeare - no Dylan Thomas, Terry Pratchett, Bill Bryson etc. just the Bald Bard of Brummieland. Didn't care much for him then or now.

Something tells me you wouldn't be content with anything less than an intensive study of the Mabinogion.

But seriously, I do like Shakespeare but we didn't have him to the exclusion of anything else. Would have expected at least some other classic literature and from different times.

Heh.

Maths.

Yes. Maths, because it's the short form of Mathematics and creating a singular abbreviation for a natural plural is weird. You don't wake up in the morning and put on your pant, do you?

I do take issue with saying they look like prisons though. To me they don't. They look like amazon warehouses.

What's the difference?

 

[Geoff Capes Vapes Apes]

Don't worry it, Pi can't hurt you. It's not real.

You're just being irrational now