Australian politics general - Vegemite chic

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I thought I'd start this politics general today as it's election day here in Australia, after the longest most gruelling campaign in half a century.

It's been a battle between 2 vague variants of neo-Liberalism and the outliers: Greens, centrists like the Xenophon team, battler welfare state right-wingers like Jacqui Lambie and sex-positive left Libertarians like the Sex party.

Slowly and surely the consensus around the 2 party system is fading away. The horrified gasps from the commentariat about a multi-party coalition, an occurrence quite normal in Europe, shows that the duopoly parties and their media class 'insiders' don't really get it. As with other Western nations, their social base has withered away into a husk of branch-stacking and glib real-estate agents looking for planning favours.

Just to start, how was your election? Any rancid nutters ranting outside a polling both, any decent sausage sizzles? Any thoughts on the supposed 10 year deficit? Mathias Cormann's terminator impressions?

Also, any non-Australians are free to join in with fully sick banter.

Some resources:

http://aec.gov.au/

http://australianpolitics.com/

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/newspoll

http://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliam...heet_20_-_The_Australian_system_of_government
 
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AnOminous said:
Nobody. Provide pictures. Nobody would willingly live in that shithole.

You live in the only country in the world where the only inhabitants were literally sentenced to live there because of the crimes they committed.
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This is the kind of anti-Australian bigotry Autphag used to spout.
Hmmmm. Are you a secret acolyte of Autphag?
As I explained to your Scottish trans master, most white settlement was free settlers and convicts sentenced were also sentenced to America before the revolution. These convicts were mostly starving people stealing bread or Irish political prisoners. Don't believe Autphag's lies, mate, please, you're better than that.


glass_houses said:
Tell me about it. No one can afford to buy houses, so who is buying all the houses?
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Seriously, houses in fucking Preston, fucking California bungalows, are selling for a million dollars. It's just baby boomers jumping from house to house, like musical chairs. Their kids certainly can't afford these houses.
 
chekovia said:
Seriously, houses in fucking Preston, fucking California bungalows, are selling for a million dollars. It's just baby boomers jumping from house to house, like musical chairs. Their kids certainly can't afford these houses.
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I live in one of the more built up areas of Bris vegas. Around here, a ten year old, one bedroom unit will set you back at least half a million. If an old house goes up for sale, it goes to auction. As soon as the money changes hands, the wrecking crew arrives. Doesn't matter if it's a fibro shack with an asbestos roof that Pop refuses to move out of because he and Nan bought it in the 1960s and leaving it would be like losing his wife all over again, or if it's a stunning turn of the century Queenslander, it's toothpicks in a week. I can't really complain though, as I'm one of the many people who're causing that massive development boom. *sigh*


Polls have closed. All accounts suggest that it's neck and neck Labor and Liberal. It'll be Greens, smaller parties and Independent preferences that make or break either, IMHO.
 
glass_houses said:
I live in one of the more built up areas of Bris vegas. Around here, a ten year old, one bedroom unit will set you back at least half a million. If an old house goes up for sale, it goes to auction. As soon as the money changes hands, the wrecking crew arrives. Doesn't matter if it's a fibro shack with an asbestos roof that Pop refuses to move out of because he and Nan bought it in the 1960s and leaving it would be like losing his wife all over again, or if it's a stunning turn of the century Queenslander, it's toothpicks in a week. I can't really complain though, as I'm one of the many people who're causing that massive development boom. *sigh*


Polls have closed. All accounts suggest that it's neck and neck Labor and Liberal. It'll be Greens, smaller parties and Independent preferences that make or break either, IMHO.
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Yeah, it's pretty close, Labor still need to win approximately 20 seats, though.
Perth tore down almost every old building in the 1960's as soon as mining money hit through, so glad Fremantle was left mostly untouched.
I also wish the Liberals would actually explain to people that they are a fusion party, strands of Liberals and Conservatives joined together. It would lessen Malcolm Turnbull's discomfort.

Aren't there any more Australians here at all?
 
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chekovia said:
Yeah, it's pretty close, Labor still need to win approximately 20 seats, though.
Perth tore down almost every old building in the 1960's as soon as mining money hit through, so glad Fremantle was left mostly untouched.
I also wish the Liberals would actually explain to people they they are a fusion party, strands of Liberals and Conservatives joined together. It would lessen Malcolm Turnbull's discomfort.

Aren't there any more Australians here at all?
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There's a few. Keep in mind that this isn't exactly a forum focusing on traditional politics, and the election has been blaring incessantly for the past three months. Also, it's Saturday night and that means booze.

8356108d-d346-48dc-9b8a-c83757e8d4b7.jpg


This one was taken at Bondi, apparently. Stretch pants, board shorts, cargo pant and budgie smugglers. All dressed up to honour the formality and importance of this occasion.
 
Australia, the only place on earth where "civilized" people live that are still deathly afraid of their wildlife. "Whaaaaa, there's a dingo outside! It'll eat us!" "Oh no! A giant poisonous spider! Ablooablooabloo"

Maybe if you guys, I don't know, did what all the other civilized offshoots of Britain did and murder the fuck out of your wildlife you might be able to not live in pants wetting terror all the time and maybe, just maybe, you could be as cool as America.

BsOgUGiIAAAlPMV.jpg

Nah, who am I kidding, you'll never be that cool.
 
glass_houses said:
There's a few. Keep in mind that this isn't exactly a forum focusing on traditional politics, and the election has been blaring incessantly for the past three months. Also, it's Saturday night and that means booze.

View attachment 110871

This one was taken at Bondi, apparently. Stretch pants, board shorts, cargo pant and budgie smugglers. All dressed up to honour the formality and importance of this occasion.
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Yeah, fair enough.
I have to work tomorrow and my job is vaguely connected to the 24 hour news cycle, So I expected likewise. I agree, everybody is tired of this election campaign: 2 smarmy fucks leering at us, quoting platitudes.
 
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Coldgrip said:
Australia, the only place on earth where "civilized" people live that are still deathly afraid of their wildlife. "Whaaaaa, there's a dingo outside! It'll eat us!" "Oh no! A giant poisonous spider! Ablooablooabloo"

Maybe if you guys, I don't know, did what all the other civilized offshoots of Britain did and murder the fuck out of your wildlife you might be able to not live in pants wetting terror all the time and maybe, just maybe, you could be as cool as America.

BsOgUGiIAAAlPMV.jpg

Nah, who am I kidding, you'll never be that cool.
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Well, we did try to exterminate the snakes, but as soon as we were distracted doing that the spiders ambushed us. While we were fighting off the spiders, the snakes regrouped and joined forces with the spiders. We thought that flame throwers would sort them all out but we only ended up with massive bushfires that took weeks and occasionally months to put out. The fires didn't seem to phase the snakes or the spiders, though. The cane toads we introduced did take out a shitload of snakes, but without the snakes the spiders took over. And by then the spiders had managed to recruit the scorpions and the centipedes. We retreated to the river in the hopes that none of the little fuckers could swim. Results were inconclusive, it's hard to look for spiders when crocodiles and bull sharks are trying to eat you. We fought our way through the crocodiles and sharks to the other side of the river, but there the Abbos were waiting for us. Along with dingos, goannas, the Lebs, and half of New Zealand. The beach looked attractive, right up until the people who tried swimming in the water were stung by box jellyfish, the irukandji jellyfish, and the blue ringed octopus. It wasn't all bad, because the crocodiles and the bull sharks were still chasing us and they got stung too. Then the tiger sharks and the great white sharks arrived and started a brawl with the crocodiles and bull sharks over who got to eat us, and we were able to sneak away and leg it in all the confusion.

It was either retreat or nuke the entire continent. Unfortunately, none of the other countries would let us do it, citing shit like 'nuclear fallout' and 'nuclear winter'. Fucking wowsers. In the end, the only option was to retreat into houses specially designed to limit the amount of entry points.

images.jpg


On the upside, the cane toads seem to be winning against the snakes. Pity about all of the lizards and frogs the toads aree wiping out at the same time. Well, no war without casualties, I suppose...
 
glass_houses said:
Well, we did try to exterminate the snakes, but as soon as we were distracted doing that the spiders ambushed us. While we were fighting off the spiders, the snakes regrouped and joined forces with the spiders. We thought that flame throwers would sort them all out but we only ended up with massive bushfires that took weeks and occasionally months to put out. The fires didn't seem to phase the snakes or the spiders, though. The cane toads we introduced did take out a shitload of snakes, but without the snakes the spiders took over. And by then the spiders had managed to recruit the scorpions and the centipedes. We retreated to the river in the hopes that none of the little fuckers could swim. Results were inconclusive, it's hard to look for spiders when crocodiles and bull sharks are trying to eat you. We fought our way through the crocodiles and sharks to the other side of the river, but there the Abbos were waiting for us. Along with dingos, goannas, the Lebs, and half of New Zealand. The beach looked attractive, right up until the people who tried swimming in the water were stung by box jellyfish, the irukandji jellyfish, and the blue ringed octopus. It wasn't all bad, because the crocodiles and the bull sharks were still chasing us and they got stung too. Then the tiger sharks and the great white sharks arrived and started a brawl with the crocodiles and bull sharks over who got to eat us.

It was either retreat or nuke the entire continent. Unfortunately, none of the other countries would let us do it, citing shit like 'nuclear fallout' and 'nuclear winter'. Fucking wowsers. In the end, the only option was to retreat into houses specially designed to limit the amount of entry points.

View attachment 110885

On the upside, the cane toads seem to be winning against the snakes. Pity about all of the lizards and frogs the toads aree wiping out at the same time. Well, no war without casualties, I suppose...
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Finally a civilized response.

Seriously though, I'm surprised when the land was first settled there wasn't just a mass effort to just wipe out everything. Humans are really, really damn good at that.
 
glass_houses said:
Well, we did try to exterminate the snakes, but as soon as we were distracted doing that the spiders ambushed us. While we were fighting off the spiders, the snakes regrouped and joined forces with the spiders. We thought that flame throwers would sort them all out but we only ended up with massive bushfires that took weeks and occasionally months to put out. The fires didn't seem to phase the snakes or the spiders, though. The cane toads we introduced did take out a shitload of snakes, but without the snakes the spiders took over. And by then the spiders had managed to recruit the scorpions and the centipedes. We retreated to the river in the hopes that none of the little fuckers could swim. Results were inconclusive, it's hard to look for spiders when crocodiles and bull sharks are trying to eat you. We fought our way through the crocodiles and sharks to the other side of the river, but there the Abbos were waiting for us. Along with dingos, goannas, the Lebs, and half of New Zealand. The beach looked attractive, right up until the people who tried swimming in the water were stung by box jellyfish, the irukandji jellyfish, and the blue ringed octopus. It wasn't all bad, because the crocodiles and the bull sharks were still chasing us and they got stung too. Then the tiger sharks and the great white sharks arrived and started a brawl with the crocodiles and bull sharks over who got to eat us, and we were able to sneak away and leg it in all the confusion.

It was either retreat or nuke the entire continent. Unfortunately, none of the other countries would let us do it, citing shit like 'nuclear fallout' and 'nuclear winter'. Fucking wowsers. In the end, the only option was to retreat into houses specially designed to limit the amount of entry points.

View attachment 110885

On the upside, the cane toads seem to be winning against the snakes. Pity about all of the lizards and frogs the toads aree wiping out at the same time. Well, no war without casualties, I suppose...
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And yet you have trouble with even less deadly things, like Emus.
 
ActualKiwi said:
And yet you have trouble with even less deadly things, like Emus.
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Those fuckers can disembowel you. Same with kangaroos. There's a reason the Maori wiped out the moa, and it wasn't just because of giant drumsticks.
 
glass_houses said:
Those fuckers can disembowel you. Same with kangaroos. There's a reason the Maori wiped out the moa, and it wasn't just because of giant drumsticks.
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Moa were delicious apparently. Haast's eagle on the other hand, glad those fuckers got wiped out.
 
ffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccck... this early into the count and it's in Liberal's favour.
 
It's now 53 LNP versus ALP 52. 4 to Greens and Independents. It's like a rugby match.
 
54 LNP to 53 ALP. It's not a rugby match, it's a horse race. A hideously expensive horse race.
 
As a Florida Man sometimes I dream of stepping up to a level beyond and living in Australia.
But I realize that's far too ambitious. Australia is something you have to be exposed to from conception.
 
Well, Malcom Turnbull has delivered his speech, and the tl;dr is that LNP probably won. He's jumping up and down about Labor's campaign strategy which effectively revolved around LNP privatising Medicare, saying that it's a flat out lie and that this was not what the LNP planned. This may indeed be the case. However, the LNP has been using some spectacularly vile campaigns strategies in the past twenty years, and I'm inclined to think that they're just pissed off that they didn't think of it themselves, given that Turnbull trumpeted his devotion to his "friend and mentor", King Johnny the Unbelievable.

Oh, and the unions are out to get us! It's the bogeyman! Forget crippling national debt, disemboweling the CSIRO, climate change, destroying education from primary school up, it's the unions we should be terrified of! Them unions will kill us all!

Fucking Christ.

No one cares about the fucking unions. No one's cared about the fucking unions since John Children Overboard Howard was voted out. But the LNP is still convinced that if they scream about the unions just a little louder, the entire nation will suddenly realise that they should be chasing fucking yowies, rather than fretting about insignificant things like climate change, education, and huge tax cuts to the rich and just plain cuts to education and health care.
 
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