💼 Careercow Deuandra T. Brown / Deuandra / Detarondadiva / DetaronTV / Detaron Mag / Detaron Pictures / Deuandra Productions Inc / Detaron Records - CEO, Director, Musician, Editor-In-Chief, Actress, Model, Positively Terrible At Everything

Deuandra T Brown
DOB: August 10 1987

An Empire of Dogshit

Imagine running the worst talent agency in the world with a portfolio that spans across mediums. You represent Film Directors like Neil Breen, Actors like Tommy Wiseau, Musicians like William Hung, Writers like the girl that wrote My Immortal, and Models like Lena Dunham.

Imagine no more, this agency exists all rolled up in a single person. Deuandra T. Brown, a person who rolled a 1 on every single talent or skill she could possibly have, but a natural 20 in sheer audacity.

Deuandra is a living example of what legendary bullshitting and an equally legendary lack of talent can get you. She demonstrates that it takes very little money and effort to build a vertical monopoly of pure garbage.


Are you not a good enough musician to get signed? Record your own albums.
Are you far past your prime but still chasing the dream of being a model? Take a lot of selfies and pretend they're modeling gigs.
Are you such an awful actor that nobody will hire you for their films? Make your own films.
Are your films so shitty nobody will distribute them? Make your own film company.
Is your film company so overflowing with garbage that nobody will show them? Create your own streaming channel.

Let's spill the tea and take a look at all the various hat$ Deuandra wears.

Deuandra T. Brown, Actor and Director

Lets start by looking at her films. To call Deuandra’s films low budget would be inaccurate because it implies money was spent on them. The cast tends to be friends and family, locations are friends’ houses, public places, or schools and libraries, and special effects are whatever horrible looking shit Deuandra taught herself in Windows Movie Maker. I would say the only thing she ever pays any real money on is step & repeat banners so she has something showy to take pictures in front of when she premieres her film at the public library.

One amazing thing about Deuandra is that if you compare her first films to her most recent ones you will see absolutely no improvement in quality despite over a decade's worth of consumer-accessible technological advancements in filmmaking and her own experience with making this many films, music videos, and tv shows. Editing is still horrible, after a decade she can't even transition away from her company logo without cutting it off before it finishes. Audio is still awful, she still appears to only use the in-camera microphone for all dialogue. Cinematography is messy and shaky, writing is incomprehensible, and special effects are usually such a mess you can't tell what's happening where or why. This lack of growth or effort is a recurring theme.



But don't worry, Christ Bros, I know you see her and you think "My God, I hope she's on our side. We can't possibly suffer the blow of having this wealth of talent handed on a silver platter to the Atheists and Satanists."

Worry no more, Deuandra prides herself on all of her productions being Christ First. In fact she has made a tv series, Heavenly Conquerors, that appears to be a sitcom starring angels and Jesus.



Deuandra T. Brown, Model

Deuandra herself is a dumpy girl who peaked 20 years ago, has an ever-present 1000-yard-stare and every picture of her has more high angles and high contrast lightning than a thot’s 2003 livejournal. Her personal style is half Homegoods and half Garanamals, usually looking like a toddler that decided to wear venetian blinds on her face that week. Everything about her mannerisms and style of dress unironically scream “I am on the autism spectrum."

See above for a headshot she likes to use which has very obvious doctoring thanks to her pisspoor photoshop skills. The only modeling she's ever done appears to be for herself, with the exception of being on College Times once a long time ago. This may well be the moment that convinced her she's a real model and not just someone whose royalty-free picture got picked once.

Deuandra T. Brown, Recording Artist

Since 2012 Deuandra has also been pumping out albums. She’s always front and center on every album cover with the exception of her album Emojis, which she made up for by putting five pictures of herself on the cover.

Like a dumpy, ghetto Pokémon Deuandra has put out tons of songs almost entirely as a vehicle for saying her own name repeatedly.


Sadly it isn’t even every song. I would understand if she had a gimmick where she said “Deuandra” in every song, but she doesn’t, it’s just 70% or so which only tells me she legitimately can’t think of any other way to start her songs.

I don’t follow rap so I can’t speak with any authority on this, but doesn’t all of this read as horribly out of date? Deuandra feels like she makes songs your aunt would make if she decided to be a soundcloud rapper. Every song is a current buzzword and didn't the whole using $ for S go away in the 90s?


Your aunt: “I’ve heard them talk about ‘the haters’ so I think I’ll write a song about that!” or “My son said ‘thats cap’ on a Minecraft Discord the other day so I’ll make a song called ‘That’s Cap!’”

It's almost like it's written by a woman pushing 40 trying to pretend she's still 20 but what do I know?

What I do know is that nobody gives a shit about Deuandra’s music. According to Spotify Deuandra boasts 42 monthly listeners. Let’s put that into perspective.

First, The Sellouts, a Boston-based ska band from the late 90s that never really made it even in their own time. This is a band that made a kind of music nobody listens to anymore and haven't been active in nearly 25 years. They have about double Deuandra's listeners.

Second, we have Metronome Sounds. That isn’t just a clever name, it’s a Spotify artist that just uploads the sounds of metronomes ticking. They pull in about quadruple the listeners that Deuandra does monthly.

Finally, we have The Kartoon Krew. A rap outfit that only ever put out two songs and only gained any awareness whatsoever because of one: a rap cover of the Inspector Gadget theme. That’s it. They have been inactive for 37 years as of 2023. Their Spotify presence sees nearly 25 times Deuandra’s on a monthly basis.

You’ve probably got a friend that makes music and puts it on Spotify. That person is almost certainly doing better than Deuandra.

Want to go on a song-by-song basis? Fine. According to Spotify her top song is I’ll Do Me with 1,942 listens. What beats that?

Well, how about a minute and fifty of sea lion sounds?


The only way you can tell the two apart is that the sea lions don’t start by saying their own fucking name.

But what matters isn’t listeners, it’s integrity. Sure, you can sell out your morals for cash and fame, but not Deuandra. She’s someone with integrity who’s in it for the art. Anyway here’s her hit single 1-800-SAFE-AUTO.



Deuandra T. Brown, Fashion Designer

Her time as a very serious and well-respected model inspired her to not only be the clay, but the sculptor. Presumably she would have taken this on before, but she was missing a key piece of information that she has since mastered: iron-on transfers.

This image from her "911" music video illustrates the fact that this is a shitty iron-on even better.

But that's not all, she's also learned to staple things onto corsets.


But lets get to brass tacks, we've learned by now that Deuandra doesn't just do things because she likes doing it, she does things because it lets her inflate her ego, throw herself parades, and publicly masturbate herself. And masturbate she did because immediately after learning these esoteric secrets of the fashion world she immediately got some people together, threw money at LA Fashion Week and held her own fashion show.




Yes, people walked onto a real fashion runway with iron-on rhinestones and Cookie Monster fur stapled to a corset.

Deuandra T. Brown, Writer & Editor-In-Chief

Deuandra’s foray into the thriving industry of magazine publishing with her magazine, Detaron Mag, shows, without question, that publishing is an exciting new field that Deuandra is ready to tackle despite not understanding a single blessed thing about it. Let’s take a look at her Summer 2022 issue to get a good representative example of her magazine. https://www.magcloud.com/user/detaron (https://archive.md/68mSW)


Of the 72 pages advertised you get the laziest bullshit I have ever seen.

1 Front Cover. Sure, okay.
1 Back Cover. Yeah. Makes sense.
4 Pages of self promotion, pretty subdued for Deuandra, tbh.
4 Page ad for some shitty indie film only containing a brief blurb explaining some guy is making a movie and some people are also helping him. She did not bother writing anything about this movie and gives no further details.
4 Pages of pictures of herself. I’m astounded it’s only 4.
1 Page poem written by a guy on the opposite page. I’m sure it was just something to copy/paste and fill a page with.
4 Pages about Kenobi with pictures of Hayden Christensen. One is a stock advertising picture, 1 page includes studio copy that Deuandra hastily copied over by hand which is evident due to typos she left behind, 1 more page with pictures of Christensen, and the final page of this feature shows the entire reason she chose it – because she has a picture of the two of them together. She writes a small blurb on this page that she’s a fan of his.
The rest of the magazine is 53 pages of full page pictures of models with a photographer credit and model credit.

If you skip any advertising, self-promotion, and photo credits you can read the entire magazine inside of one minute if you include page flipping. It’s literally just some guy’s short poem and some info on how Deuandra feels about Hayden Christiensen. That’s the entire magazine.


Sure, the magazine costs a hefty $30 but all you have to do is buy the world's ugliest fucking tshirt with it and you can get it signed by an absolute nobody. What a bargain!


Deuandra has also published a Children’s book called Bijou. What's it about? I have no idea because she half-assed the Amazon listing (https://archive.md/ZgXsM) and didn't include a single word on what it's about.
What is easy to see though is that the cover of her book is made with stolen clip art. Look at the candy cane border and, particularly, the bow and you'll see stock art supplier watermarks. Exact same border on the right by Shutterstock without the crosshatch watermarks.


Also, proving once again that she doesn’t understand that the purpose of the preview option is to show potential customers a bit of the content you are providing, all we can see is that there is page talking herself up and the closest thing to a titty picture her flat, misshapen chest can manage. These are both in a book for children.



Deuandra T. Brown, HackFraud


In September of 2020 Deuandra’s film Diamond Cobra vs The White Fox finally had a chance at some crossover success. It was featured on a major Youtube channel and was starting to generate some publicity for her.

But then Deuandra DMCA’d it into oblivion because it wasn’t complimentary of her.

Farm favorites, RedLetterMedia, featured this film on Best of the Worst Episode 92 which, to this day, is the only reason anybody knows who Deuandra is for any reason. She claims to be a woman of Christ, yet she got to be featured alongside the angel’s song of Rich Evans’ laughter and she shut it down. Shameful.

RedLetterMedia made some adjustments to their video and reuploaded, only to be struck again by Deuandra getting assmad that her company logo was just barely visible on the DVD they showed. After this RLM simply stopped giving a shit and it is no longer on their channel.


Thankfully, this didn’t stop kind souls from re-uploading an archive of this episode. Unfortunately Deuandra, having nothing better to do and nothing more damaging to her fragile world than criticism, continued to strike it down from youtube. Once people moved to vimeo, she started striking there as well. Archive.org? Also struck. Deuandra has nothing but time on her hands so she still tends to smash reuploads as quickly as people can put them up. Thanks to Deuandra’s untiring efforts, that episode was completely wiped from the internet, her humiliation never to be seen again.

Anyway, here’s that episode:



If Deuandra were smarter and less driven by pure narcissism she could have kept pumping out new movies and projects and let the negative publicity work for her. Unfortunately for her she doesn’t have the self-awareness to admit to herself that, before RLM, she was a complete unknown and, even now, she’s only barely known because 95% of her audience are people laughing at her, 4% are friends and family being nice, and 1% are people that were actually in her projects.

Deuandra T. Brown, Influencer

Instagram:
@deuandra (a)
@heavenly_conquerors (a)
@detaronmag (https://archive.md/d5fV2)
TikTok
@Deuandra1 (https://archive.md/X8BHh)

How fragile is Deuandra’s ego? Her social media tells all the story we need.


Though many stories exist of Deuandra angrily replying to and scrubbing negative reviews of her work from the internet, I was not able to find any examples of this at this time. What do remain though are reviews of her products that are definitely not written by her and go so hard they would seem a bit much in a review for Citizen Kane.


Oh jesus christ. (a)
I don’t want to believe it but, since I feel like even the foot bros don’t care about Deuandra enough to post her feet, I really have to entertain the idea that Deuandra may have uploaded pictures of her own feet to wikifeet for, at best, publicity and, at worst, attention. Heaven help us all.

newDeuandra T. Brown, Self-Promoter

Deuandra's website, deuandrabrown.com, sure has a lot of accolades. They couldn't all be fake, could they? I wanted to find out.
Click on her recording artist credits and you are immediately greeted with this wall

Let's skip the boring stuff. 90% of these are just "if you upload your content they will host it" places. But there's some interesting things here that were worth poking. I see not one but TWO credits from Vogue. That's a big deal.

Photo Vogue - this is just a website where you can enter your own credentials. Deuandra set it up and just makes it seem like she has affiliation with vogue.
oh, but wait, what about...
Vogue- it's the same link

Well that's that. How about gettyimages?
She was in a picture at a meeting.



And MTV?
She was on the MTV reality show, Copycat, singing Alicia Keys once. She lost.

Now New York Weekly
Yes, there actually was a full article praising Deuandra on New York Weekly in which she looks like a whole-ass tugboat.

There's two problems though. One: New York Weekly is a bullshit internet clickbait rag.
Two: It's paid content written by an anonymous contributor. Wanna take a guess who the contributor was?



And now we go back to Vogue. Deuandra claims to have been on the cover of Vogue Weekly back in 2024. I was able to confirm this and, believe it or not, she really was.



But Vogue Weekly and Vogue are two very different things. Vogue is a well known fashion magazine and Vogue Weekly is an online scam where unknown narcissists drop some money to get on the cover of a fake magazine. The website is down right now but looking it up in archive.org shows pages upon pages of literal nobodies on the cover of this fake magazine.

There's also LAMOUR magazine. Appointment magazine. Top Posters. Fashion Republic. Off Town - All fakey magcloud magazines nobody actually reads.



And there's also Mirror Magazine, the magazine so talentless they didn't know how to make "MIRROR" show up behind Deuandra so they just wrote "MII OR" and called it a day. Mirror seems a bit more put together though. It isn't just magcloud, it's a dedicated narcissist magazine.

Here's Deuandra on the October 2023 cover of Mirror, the Fashion & Beauty edition, looking like someone stuck sequins to a stick of butter.


Oh and here's Kayla Collins, Akila Sims, Kitty Katsumi, and Kelly Cato. All of which are, presumably, also ultra narcissists that paid to get on the October 2023 Fashion and Beauty edition of Mirror Magazine.




You can see they all have 37+ pages of new looks you'll love. Same contents. Same design. This is just the same slop with a different whore on the front with more money than self esteem.

Deuandra's career truly reached a crescendo when she was on a Viet public access show.



Her website also shows this screenshot from FOX34 which i simply have no reason to believe is real as it exists nowhere else.



Oldfags may recognize this next scam from back when matchbooks would ask you to draw a turtle.

Her website claims the book won an "International Impact Award" but what exactly is that. Simple. Pay them to apply for the award. Win an oddly specific award. Pay several hundred dollars to receive your trophy. A bullshit pay-to-play award factory custom-tailored to take advantage of narcs like Deuandra.

Similarly Akademia is a music award mill that gives a ton of awards out monthly. If you submit your work to Akademia you'll almost certainly get an award of some kind.

And then there's X-pose-ing Music Awards Chicago. Awards are given quarterly and their website seems to indicate that the winner is whoever applies for the award (and pays the application fee) the most.

She's got other wins on display from multiple film festivals, all of which are either participation trophies or the festival is an award mill.

I have no idea how much it costs to jerk yourself off this frequently and publicly, but I would estimate to put yourself on the cover of vanity magazines, get featured in fake news articles, win fakey book awards, fakey film awards, and get wins (or just mentions) from scads of fakey film festivals, she must have spent thousands.

Deuandra Brown has put her all into figuring out a million new ways to make herself seem like a talented creator, but has put absolutely nothing into learning how to be a talented creator.


Deuandra T. Brown, Lolcow

It's easy to see Deuandra as an underdog queen of hustle, but the veneer on her masturbatory empire starts to peel upon the slightest inspection. Her music is awful quality and sounds like it was recorded on a phone, because it probably was. Her magazine is just a no-effort collection of royalty free photography. Her movies are abysmal and have shown no growth or effort over more than a decade. Nothing she does requires a significant time or money investment outside of self-promotion.

All that is forgivable though, what is not forgivable is the venom with which she attacks those critical of her. Silencing bad reviews and DMCA striking youtubers who are well within fair use (Rich Evans did nothing wrong) takes her over the line from wholesome underdog to unlikable narcissist.

Now, we'll end this with what is the greatest conceivable representation of Deuandra's career possible. Please enjoy this photo of her graciously accepting an award that she created and is presenting to herself in front of a step & repeat banner she paid for on a red carpet she's renting at an event she set up for a company she owns all while dressed like a Goodwill dumpster.