Ask men why they do things the way they do and maybe you'll get an honest answer

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natsukashii said:
why do you harass other dudes for having long hair
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Long hair is a safety hazard because it can get caught in the steam-powered cogs of whatever silent generation factory you must have been in when you last saw a man getting harassed for having long hair.
 
Postal_Rat said:
yes
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Belly dancing is OK for like 5min, try a one hour show and lets see how you feel about it.
Arbiter said:
Alright men, how do you feel about women who are not interested/not single giving men compliments? Sometimes I want to give men platonic compliments like I would to other women, but I hold off as to not give the wrong idea. Do you think women should feel more comfortable doing this or is it unbecoming? Do you think this would improve the general relationship between the sexes or would it sow confusion and discord? What would you teach your daughter?
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Like others have said, I think it's about the type of compliments you make and what the context is. It's always nice to have someone compliment you, and it does not happen often.

A safe line to observe (especially in a professional setting) is to stick to situational rather than personal:
  • You don't like the way I dress, you like my sweatshirt
  • You don't think I am clever, you think that's a clever idea
If you know people well and you trust they understand your intentions, then I don't think it matters that much anymore. Unless you know them to be autistic and desperate, but then I don't know how to help.
Arbiter said:
Was puberty traumatic, and how good/bad of a job did the adults in your life do helping you navigate it? What would you do differently if you were in their position?
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Not at all. I did not really need any help, seemed to make sense to me, and it's gradual so not difficult to go along. I was a rebellious cunt though, but that had more to do with me still being so retarded I thought myself to be clever.
 
The Ugly One said:
If a man hates something, it means he secretly wants to fuck it and is mad that he's not allowed. Keep that in mind when a man says how he feels about having to eat his mother-in-law's green bean casserole every Thanksgiving.
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Why would you want to fuck your mother-in-law's green bean casserole..? At least be normal and think about banging Mum and Daughter at the same time.
 
Arbiter said:
Alright men, how do you feel about women who are not interested/not single giving men compliments? Sometimes I want to give men platonic compliments like I would to other women, but I hold off as to not give the wrong idea. Do you think women should feel more comfortable doing this or is it unbecoming? Do you think this would improve the general relationship between the sexes or would it sow confusion and discord? What would you teach your daughter?
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If you're going to give them a compliment, do it in front of their lady, so there's no flirtation implied. Unless she's an insecure bitch, then don't bother, it's not worth the hassle for him or you.
Epic Fail Man said:
You can have a coffee with them once a month or something and maintain a light friendship
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Having a coffee or a drink alone with a dude is a bad idea, unless you are the rarest of friends (in my 50 years I've had exactly one female friend who I can hang out with alone without an undercurrent of tension). Guys are animals deep down, and spending time alone with them is giving them a signal, whether you mean it or not.
 
Frostnipped Todger said:
If you're going to give them a compliment, do it in front of their lady, so there's no flirtation implied. Unless she's an insecure bitch, then don't bother, it's not worth the hassle for him or you.

Having a coffee or a drink alone with a dude is a bad idea, unless you are the rarest of friends (in my 50 years I've had exactly one female friend who I can hang out with alone without an undercurrent of tension). Guys are animals deep down, and spending time alone with them is giving them a signal, whether you mean it or not.
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No, don't give men "compliments." If they have done something for you a "thank you" would be proper. Compliments is something a guy gets from his wife and they don't work for compliments, they work for results.

Having a drink with a woman that is not your wife has a level of understanding, where sexual tension might be present, but it is understood by all that nothing must happen, other than maybe another drink.

Men and women cannot be friends, it doesn't work, it always ends in sex or implications of sexual harassment. Just don't do it. Take your buddies out camping, no women.
 
Frostnipped Todger said:
If you're going to give them a compliment, do it in front of their lady, so there's no flirtation implied. Unless she's an insecure bitch, then don't bother, it's not worth the hassle for him or you.
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Are you trying to get broken up with? A woman complimenting you in front of your wife is going to piss your wife off and start stupid jealousy games.
 
Arbiter said:
Alright men, how do you feel about women who are not interested/not single giving men compliments?
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Honestly, most men get very deeply uncomfortable receiving compliments. Assuming you must want to bang them is probably one of the better outcomes, because most of us assume any compliment-giver wants to take advantage of us somehow and we get defensive or awkward. I wouldn't recommend complimenting men you don't know very well, because there's a pretty high chance it'll ruin our day, and a middling-to-high chance we'll ruin yours in return.
 
The only people who seem to be allowed to compliment each other are women. Men complimenting men is gay. Women complimenting men are flirting. Men complimenting women are sexually harassing them. Maybe part of the issue is men receive compliments so rarely, no one would believe you're just being nice.
 
Skitarii said:
NGMI bro
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You meant to say "NGMI dood"

Spilled Spaghett said:
The only people who seem to be allowed to compliment each other are women. Men complimenting men is gay. Women complimenting men are flirting. Men complimenting women are sexually harassing them.
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Men compliment men all the time, its just that beyond "mirin bro" or "sick pump dude" or "damn that's a sweet camaro" dudes don't give a shit about compliments. If a dude is like whoa your lips are so full and plump yeah that's fruity as fuck.

Women complimenting men ARE flirting. Always. If a woman is noticing a man being good at something or being attractive, and then goes up and says that to his face, she wants to get dicked down (maybe not right away but its in the back of her mind).
 
VargReallyDidNothingWrong said:
You meant to say "NGMI dood"


Men compliment men all the time, its just that beyond "mirin bro" or "sick pump dude" or "damn that's a sweet camaro" dudes don't give a shit about compliments. If a dude is like whoa your lips are so full and plump yeah that's fruity as fuck.

Women complimenting men ARE flirting. Always. If a woman is noticing a man being good at something or being attractive, and then goes up and says that to his face, she wants to get dicked down (maybe not right away but its in the back of her mind).
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I agree with the men complimenting each other but not so much with the women compliments. This can lead to a typical mixed signal embarrassment

Excluding of course, the obviously flirting compliments, but those you can spot a mile away. I know my cooking is good but i don't think that alone will make women wanna fuck me (though it actually helped in several occasions)
 
souschef said:
i don't think that alone will make women wanna fuck me (though it actually helped in several occasions)
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Self-contradicting thought process.

All women who openly voice compliments in your direction are open to having sex with you if you continue doing what you're good at for them. Men attract mates by being competent. A woman complimenting your competence at something is a sign of attraction.
 
VargReallyDidNothingWrong said:
Self-contradicting thought process.
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I mean, not really. It helped seal the deal, but they were already attracted to me. It's that thing, you call someone out and you say "let me cook us something tonight" and then the night is a success

If i was uglier both in looks and personality i don't think any women would be willing to be with me regardless of how competent i am
 
Look, this is what it looks like, it's fictional but it does happen. Everything else is wishful thinking.

 
souschef said:
If i was uglier both in looks and personality i don't think any women would be willing to be with me regardless of how competent i am
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They wouldn't be complimenting you if that was the case.

Nobody goes up to Quasimodo and says "wow teehee you're so GOOD at ringing those BELLS". They go eww I hope the creepy bell guy doesn't come over here.
 
Kofi Drinka said:
Are you trying to get broken up with? A woman complimenting you in front of your wife is going to piss your wife off and start stupid jealousy games.
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Nah, in my experience it made her 1) territorial, and thus more affectionate, and 2) made her feel like she got a good one, and thus more affectionate. Welcomed.

Dyn said:
Honestly, most men get very deeply uncomfortable receiving compliments. Assuming you must want to bang them is probably one of the better outcomes, because most of us assume any compliment-giver wants to take advantage of us somehow and we get defensive or awkward. I wouldn't recommend complimenting men you don't know very well, because there's a pretty high chance it'll ruin our day, and a middling-to-high chance we'll ruin yours in return.
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That's neurotic. Assuming that the only reason a woman would compliment you is to take advantage of you is neurotic and symptomatic of low self esteem. You should work on that.

Everyone in this thread is perpetuating the problem. Normalize complimenting men. If it happened more often men wouldn't get weird about it.
 
dick brain said:
Everyone in this thread is perpetuating the problem. Normalize complimenting men. If it happened more often men wouldn't get weird about it.
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You can do it gently, like the old ladies, but young women complimenting men = sex. I'm sorry that's just how it is, get used to it.

More to the point, we don't need compliments from women, who often don't understand a single thing we're doing. Again it's not misogyny, it's just reality. Women cannot do what men can do, not because they physically can't but because it's a turn-on for them to see men do those things. It's biology. You can't fight nature, you have to work with it.
 
dick brain said:
Normalize complimenting men. If it happened more often men wouldn't get weird about it.
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I'm finding out just now that this isn't normal apparently? Because i grew up and it was and is very common around here

Ignatius von Cistern said:
You can do it gently, like the old ladies, but young women complimenting men = sex. I'm sorry that's just how it is, get used to it.
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I really don't agree with you guys on that. I think genuine compliments are normal and possible without having any sexual interest behind them, conscious or not, regardless of sex
 
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