General Wrestling Discussion

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Predictably, Jericho v Styles did nothing to elevate either guy, and if anything it killed some of Styles' heat. As usual Vince can't just let something go. You won Vince, let them get over and stay over once in a while.
 
Being in Britain, I'll probably be asleep when Mania ends. I'll do a full write up of my thoughts tomorrow.
 
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Real fucking head for the squared circle you got there, eh Harris?

One more Tweet like that, and you could be Scott Keith's understudy.
 
Jumping off crazy high shit and open flames.
Aerostar must be fuming.

Also holy shit HHH wishes he was Mil Muertes so fucking hard #theskullz
 
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Fucking Reigns ‽ No wonder this shit called for an interrobang.

Vince would have far better luck with Booker T's Hoverboard.
 
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What a shit show. The best match was the opening IC Title match. The worst match was either the Battle Royal or Triple H vs Reigns. The Battle Royal was just a basic Battle Royal with no expectations, whereas Triple H vs Reigns was the main event of WrestleMania, so I think I'm going to go with Trips vs Rambling Roman being the worst.
 
What a shit show. The best match was the opening IC Title match. The worst match was either the Battle Royal or Triple H vs Reigns. The Battle Royal was just a basic Battle Royal with no expectations, whereas Triple H vs Reigns was the main event of WrestleMania, so I think I'm going to go with Trips vs Rambling Roman being the worst.
I disagree. I think the Women's title match was the best match on the card. The IC match is a close second, with Ryder getting the out of nowhere win.
 
I thought the Battle Royale was fun as shit (#TatankaMark). Obviously main event was a bummer. Jericho/Styles disappointed me and Shane/Taker was heinous except for that bump.

Beyond all that, I liked it. Lotsa fun, lotsa surprises. Steph's intro of HHH was legendary.
 
The Big Ass Wrestlemania 32 Write Up.

I was quite deliriously tired by the main event (Show ended at 5 in the morning over in the UK) so forgive me if my thoughts are jumbled, my notes became increasingly sparse.

Pre Show

Kallisto vs Ryback

Pretty standard Big Guy Versus Little Guy encounter. Ryback amused me with how often he would call Kallisto little. Spot of the match was when Ryback got a two count and shouted at the ref 'HE'S A LITTLE GUY!' in protest. I like this Ryback, a simple guy guy heel who sets himself up for all sorts. Finish was Ryback flying into an exposed turnbuckle like an idiot for the Solina del Sol for the pin.

Divas 10 Woman Battle Royal

Oof. I thought this one would be horrendous, in the end it was just kind of meh. I'm no Meltzer or Alvarez, but I'd give it like....two stars, maybe. Emma was dressed like a character from Blood Bowl. Then after the commerical break, Eva Marie was suddenly tagged in. I held my breath, waiting for what would happen. Then she hit a hurricanrana and two suplexes. She got booed less than Roman, I'll give her that. Rest of the match was dull until the end, when Brie Bella locked in the YES lock for the win. Then Nikki Bella came out and everyone cheered.

In the studio, Cory Graves actually said that Eva Marie was his favourite thing about WWE. If he's a heel guy, then he's doing a good job of it, because that was bullshit. Then they show the Undertaker/Shane video package and it clearly shows Shane missing his giant elbow when he put Taker through a table. Then Booker claims the Undertaker Shane match would have something we've never seen before. Well, I thought at the time that he meant a live death at Mania, but it turned out that he wasn't wrong.

Then Lita made the big announcement regarding the new Woman's Championship. Everyone acted as though this was some great step forward in Women's Wrestling. The inanimate object was more popular than Roman Reigns.

Dudleys vs Usos

The standard Uso match. Really, nothing to say until the end. The Usos win, the Dudleys get the tables in revenge, Usos beat them down and splash them through the tables. How original. Renee Young then said that the Usos had turned the tables on the Dudleys. She needs to be sacked.Booker actually does the Rock's "IF YOU SMEEEEEEELLLLLLLL" live on air.

Then Michael Cole comes out and is still more over than Roman. JBL comes out to wild cheers. I'll give them credit, they weren't horrendous tonight, but Mauro and Heel Lawler made the pre show much better than it would have otherwise been.

They do a Wrestlemania recap package for all the previous Manias but only the boots of a certain trial winning Wrestler could be seen. Well, whatcha gonna do brother?

The Main Show.

Intercontinental Ladder Match.

Dolph's hair was pretty damn fantastic. The rest of the guys come out. Owens and Zayn get the biggest pop, Sin Cara doesn't botch his entrance, Ryder woo wooed his way down to the ring and the Miz is still great as a heel. God knows if they didn't bury him, Miz could have had some potential. Oh and Stardust, wearing Polka Dots in honour of his father. I thought he'd disowned his family as part of the gimmick? The reaction to him was extreme indifference.

The match itself was awesome, as most ladder matches are. They showed other commentary teams as the match began, including the Italians, who I believe were high, and the Japanese, with Funaki on commentary.

Anyway, onto the match proper. Owens kept shouting at Zayn. Sin Cara did a giant suicide dive onto four guys and missed most of them. It looked painful. Ziggler tuned up the band and Superkicked everyone into oblivion, before being slaughtered himself. Stardust got put on a ladder, Sin Cara climbed or the belt and was shoved onto Stardust through the ladder. That looked painful. Stardust also pulled out a polka dot ladder, to loud cheers. Then Owens threw it outside. Great heel.

Then Zayn exploder suplexed Owens onto a ladder, and Owens sold this by looking like he'd been killed. Then Zayn went for the belt, but then the following happened. These are my actually verbatim notes.

The Miz just… no. The Miz is not going to. No. No. No.

ZACK RYDER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SO NOW THEY PUSH HIM? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. He’s been buried like shit and he’s more over than Roman. Fucking GG.

So yeah, the Miz was cocky and got pushed off, then Ryder climbed up and won the belt. If he drops it tomorrow, I will feel real bad for the guy. A good ladder match, no one did anything like Jeff Hardy or Edge, so hopefully no one will feel that stiff tomorrow.

Jericho vs Styles


I'm not sure about this match. On one side of things, it was a great match and Jericho made Styles look great. On the other hand, I suspect Vince didn't want Styles winning at Mania because he hates anyone who didn't work for him. Otherwise, it was every Jericho/Styles match ever and it was awesome.

After the match, I spotted a sign that read "ENREST IS A DULLARD."

New Day vs The League

The New day's entrance was absurd in how great it was. Xavier Woods' hair was by far the best on the show. The League came out to some pretty good and intimidating music. Match itself was standard fare, the New Day were screwed at the end by Barrett hitting the Bullhammer on Woods into a Brogue Kick.

I will say that Xavier Woods face when he's going for a hot tag is so sad and pained that I want to hug him. He has potential to be an excellent babyface.

Afterwards, Barret cuts a promo for the League and is actually entertaining. I'm sad he wasn't used to his full potential. Then out comes HBK, Foley and Austin to attack the League, assisted by the New Day. Everyone hits their finisher and Rusev sells the stunner like the Rock. Barret takes all three, poor guy. Then the New Day dance with the Hall of Famers. Shawn Michaels dancing like Kofi was awesome. Then Austin predictably goes along with Woods dancing, then hits him with the Stunner out of nowhere. I'll bet that Woods insisted that he take the Stunner, he's always been a mark for these stars. He sold it like the Rock as well.

Good match.

Ambrose vs Lesnar

This match is hard to talk about. On one hand, Ambrose was beaten in the match he wanted. On the other hand, Brock sold the damage that had been done at the end very well and you got the sense that Ambrose was unlucky not to win. Thirteen Suplexes in the match, one F-5 and one Dirty Deeds. JBL had some fantastic quotes during this match. I'd give context, but I don't think it would help.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU BYRON? THEY DON’T MAKE ICE CUBES IN PUERTO RICO!”

“Doesn’t have to hit himself in the jaw, Brock’ll do it for him.”

Anyway, we learned that Brock's one weakness is fire extinguisher foam, because this foam incapacitated him so AMbrose had time to beat the shit out of him with chairs and stuff. A fun match, but there wasn't really much to it, the two just hit each other with what they could find and Brock continued to be dull yet pick up wins because money.

Woman's Triple Threat

A more technically sound match than most of the previous ones. This match had everything you'd expect from three ladies with submission finishers, lots of working over arms and legs. The deal was that Charlotte's arm was hurt by Lynch during the match, so she could not bridge into the Figure Eight, which is classic wrestling and it worked well here. At one point Charlotte threw herself through the ropes onto Banks and it looked stiffer than Ric Flair's erection.

Flair was bumped at one point, frankly I'd fall over too if I had Becky Lynch jumping on top of me and the poor man is very old. I doubt his heart could take it. The finish was Charlotte managing the Figure Eight on Lynch while Flair grabbed Banks leg and stopped her from getting in the ring. Lynch tapped. Sad to see the heel win, but this rivalry is still money, so I get it.

Shane vs Undertaker

I prefaced this match on my notes with 'Somebody is going to die.'

After eight hours of entrance, involving Shane O Mac and his kids doing his entrance (HE LET HIS KIDS SEE HIM FIGHT UNDERTAKER? This guy took parenting classes from Vinny Mac.) the match began. I found this match incredibly dull until they got outside the cell. Mostly the two stumbled around, collapsing whenever an object got remotely close to them. Then Shane O Mac cut his way out of the cell. And he hit Undertaker with a tool chest until Taker was laid out on a table.

And then Shane looked up at the top of the structure. JBL started to scream. So did I, internally because it was 3 in the morning. My notes read as follows.

Shane. Shane No! SHANE NO! SHANE SHNANE SHANE! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! GOOD GOD!

He misses the big elbow from the top of the cell and splats like Mick Foley. I mean, he landed much better than Foley did, but....Yeesh. Undertaker finished it with a Tombstone and Shane was carted out on a medical vehicle as Taker looked on with a nod.

In all honesty, the match was fairly meh until the big elbow off the top.

The Battle Royal

DDP came back, which was always fun. Then Big Show. Ugh. Then...Shaq? Who the fuck is- oh. THAT Shaq. Maybe he'll use Kung Fu on them?

The Battle Royal itself was fun. Shaw and Big Show squared off and then the whole roster tipped them out. The Social outcast cleaned house after DDP and Tatanka ran wild. The Outcasts then did a victory lap right into the arms of Kane and Baron Corbin. Corbin won after Kane stood by the ropes gloating like an idiot. Wow, they used the Battle Royal to elevate new talent? What a remarkable idea!

The Rock

This deserves a sub section. First of all, the Rock's entrances take longer than Undertaker's at this point. He also had a flamethrower. Never seen that before, I must admit. Then he spoke about breaking attendance records. Then Bray Wyatt came in with his family. Bray was wacky and spoke about the Rock, and the Rock responded by burying them deeper underneath the earth than WCW is. Favourite quote was.

“Inbred duck dynasty bitches.”

He also said that Strowman looks like he's been breastfed since he was 26.
Anyway, Rock had a six second match with Erik Rowan and hit the Rock Bottom for the pin. Wow. Then the Wyatt's prepared for the three on one beatdown and then....

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR APPLEDOUGH! DOO DOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Big Match John ran out and cleaned house, making the Wyatts look incompetent. Way to get these guys over WWE!

And finally, we have the main event.

Triple H versus Roman Reigns

Triple H's entrance involved Stephanie dressed in something that you wouldn't want your own mother to dress in. She spoke like a pantomime villain, telling us to bow down to the Authority, to bow down to the king. It was a great speech and then Haitch came out, flanked by men in skull masks all carrying the WWE Heavyweight Title. It's sad when this is one of his less absurd entrances.

Reigns comes out. Boos. Oh the boos. They noticeably turned down the volume as Roman's theme played, Cole was quieter than usual during the entrance so I could tell. That sneaky bucky beaver motherfucker

They then have a fairly dull match. HHH works over Roman for about a year until Roman spears him through a barricade. A cool move, and there was dead silence when he did it.
"Roman Sucks" chants throughout the match. The most entertaining person was Steph. Roman was leaning against the ropes, clutching his arm and the ref was asking him if he forfeited. Steph just sat there and nodded, saying "Yeah, of course he forfeits, don't you Roman. You know you want to forfeit." Awesome.

After more boredom and a Pedigree and a Superman Punch, Steph got into an arguement witht he ref, stepped into the Ring as Roman got to his feet. Reigns tries to spear H, misses and catches Steph with it. It says a lot, Steph is disliked by most fans yet her getting speared got almost no reaction. It also made Roman look like a heel. The only way he could have been more of a heel was if she had been pregnant and he'd kicked a fake baby into the crowd. (I was young when I saw that angle on a Saturday WWE replay thing. Yeesh.)

Hunter, the heel, checked on his downed wife and she passed him a sledgehammer. Then Roman Superman Punched him twice and hit the Spear for the pin. Reigns got cheers at first, then the crowd went dead quiet. I don't know whether or not they muted the crowd as his music played, but I suspect they did. This crowd did not like Roman and this moment did not feel special at all.

Match wise, it was fine, but it was lots of armbars and wristlocks. Roman did none of that though, I believe the only moves he did were Spears, Superman Punches, or just straight rights. At least Cena has some moves that are different.

Final Conclusions.

Match Wise: AJ/Jericho or the Triple Threat was match of the night. It was a fun mania, with some memorable moments, but the crowd was dead after Shane/Undertaker, no way they were going to cheer Roman after that. And mostly, people didn't really care about the main event, it was just a thing.

If Roman loses the belt tomorrow, then I'll laugh, because then all of it was completely pointless and stupid.

Lorento out.
 
Graves indeed is the heel commentator on NXT. And his schtick about Eva Marie is a less annoying version of Cole's old "Miz is awesome gimmick".

I know he's heel on NXT, but he seems to be a tweener on the pre show panels. And lets be honest, you'd have to try real hard to be as annoying as Cole. Speaking of the commentary, it actually wasn't that bad at Mania. Obviously it wasn't good but JBL had some hilarious shit to say and poor Byron Saxton was abused throughout the night.
 
I know he's heel on NXT, but he seems to be a tweener on the pre show panels. And lets be honest, you'd have to try real hard to be as annoying as Cole. Speaking of the commentary, it actually wasn't that bad at Mania. Obviously it wasn't good but JBL had some hilarious shit to say and poor Byron Saxton was abused throughout the night.
Cole being a bad commentator is one of the bigger "constructed lies" in wrestling. Cole when allowed to set up his own stuff and do his own thing is actually rather good. Like a lot in WWE it comes down to the micromanagement of McMahon and Dunne.
Cole on the Japan special when Vince was asleep was so much better than his "standard fare".

He's not the greatest commentator of all time, but he's far from as bad as some of us would like to remember/think
 
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