Direct Messages

Rose 26/07/2022 4:12 am

Hey!

hi

What you been up to?

just horrible

4:13 am

the worst day in my life so far

4:13 am

lol

4:13 am

how're you doing

What happened?

it's so much stupid backstory that is just impossible

4:13 am

I am jjust so tupid

4:13 am

I fell in love with another woman but the two-at-a-time thing is bothering her way more than she let on and it looks like she's maybe ready to move on because of it

4:14 am

if I had known sooner I would have moved faster but there's so much random/stupid/dumbfuckery backstory to this I am just a fucking idiot

4:14 am

and on top of all of that I see her in like two days, and I'm stuck at this fucking airport today and my flight was fucking cancelled and I can't eat because my stomach is in knots al day

4:14 am

just a really GRAND OL' TIME

4:14 am

HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN, ROSE?

I've been okay, just family stuff today

Was it fun times?

Yeah it was fun

4:15 am

You're going to be okay

4:15 am

I wish I could give you a hug

Yeah we'll see

4:16 am

Never felt this horrible in my life, I am never ever a chaser type person what a horrible set of feelings

4:16 am

I feel bad for anyone I ever put this through Jesus

How long have you been inlove with her?

Like 2 months I think, we kind of met a few months ago for that first time but we've kind of known each other on and off for 5 years it's just really crazy

4:17 am

Random I don't know

4:18 am

Wait how much of my content do you watch?

A lot lol

4:19 am

Would I know her

Yeah fuck me Rose

4:19 am

I am just

4:19 am

My life is just one wtf after another sigh

4:19 am

I'll give you one guess but you can't tell anyone ever please

I won't tell anyone, you don't have to tell me though no pressure

lol okok it's up to you, if you've watched a fair bit you might already have an idea

Who is it?

Fucking Lauren man I am so stupid

Isn't she married?

Long long story

It kind of makes a lot of sense

Does it? lol

Yeah you two seemed to know eachother a lot offline

4:24 am

I'm very surprised

sigh

4:25 am

I am just so fucking

4:25 am

I don't even know

I know it hurts

We're meeting in about 30 hours and then I've got two days to change her mind, but I don't know if I'm setting myself up for emotional suicide or something

Is she in an open relationship then?

No her marriage has been fucked for about a year or two

4:27 am

Her husband is an awful abusive piece of shit

4:27 am

She's been on her own in Canada for a year with her son with no help or child support from him

That's really sad

Yeah it is

4:28 am

And she's in a super rough spot because being a single mom conservative is like the worst thing in the world

That's a really fucked situation

4:30 am

I feel so bad you poor boy :(

It's not even that I just like self sabotaged

4:31 am

I told her she should try casually dating just to make sure she was ready for me and wasn't just jumping into something new

4:31 am

And she ended up finding a guy and getting semi serious in like 2 weeks I am so mindfucked

4:31 am

This whole day has been a wreck for me fuck

Do you think if you were able to convince her it could work?

I have no idea but I want to try, we click really well and have super unique paths, it seems really hard to find anything similar to that

4:34 am

Like how many women do online politics and shit that I could get along with? lol

Yeah it's true

4:35 am

It seems like you have some heavily conflicting life situations though, but I don't know the whole story

Yeah everything is just complicated

4:35 am

I thought I had a lot more time but I think she wasn't being honest about how much she was hurting

Have you had sex?

It's way past that lol

Oh damn

4:37 am

How would you make it work if she's only interested in mono?

I'd try being mono for her I think

What about melina?

Yeah

4:37 am

That's a whole other thing

Are you two still together?

Yeah we are, if I do this Lauren thing she's gonna be completely blind sided

Does she know about Lauren at all?

Yah and the worst part is she's super threatened by her too so it's going to be like the worst thing ever

4:39 am

But that's a whole other bridge to cross

This must be so heavy for you

It's just yeah it's all my own clisterfuck shit lol

Have you told anyone else about this all?

Two friends I have that I talk about this to, yeah

How will you try to convince Lauren, do you have a plan yet?

Yeah I've been writing stuff down and rehearsing

4:47 am

I think she just wants to know I'm serious and it's probably felt like I've been fucking around

Would you like to talk about it, or are you tired of talking about it?

If you want to yeah, I've just been stressing all day relying on one or two people to keep me sane

Well I want to, but I'm more interested in what you want, I don't want to push you if it isn't what you want

4:50 am

If that makes sense

Talking about things has helped me but I am looping and ruminating like crazy so just tell me when it gets annoying

4:52 am

When did you wake up?

Well I woke up an hr ago from 3 hr nap

4:53 am

So will be up a long time

4:53 am

And don't worry you won't annoy me

Jesus your poor sleep schedule

Yeah I'm fueled entirely by sugar and video games lol

5:00 am

Would you like to share any of the stuff you've written down?

Okay sorry I'm sitting now

5:05 am

Uhh do you want me to ship over the DMs from earlier and then you can tell me what you think?

If you're comfortable with that

Okay listen you have no obligation to care about or read any of this lol sorry for the deluge of shit

5:08 am

I care dw

I'll copy what I said to a friend earlier

5:09 am

"I think there are two ways this can play out"

5:09 am

"One is that she just wanted to see me again, because we had something really special and she wants to make sure I didn't think she was just lying the entire time, so she wanted to have a long talk addressing everything, then tell me she's moving forward with a guy who's more available and serious and fills in some tradcon values better but she wanted to have the conversation in person because she thought I deserved that."

5:09 am

"The second train is that she's feeling horrible because all of the little tweet likes and instagram likes and interactions I have with Melina and our lack of talking because of Melina is killing her because she feels like I'm choosing Melina over her every single day, and for her to just hang on by a string every month we meet is agonizing to her. So she wants me to set up and take some dramatic action and commit something fierce to her to show her I'm serious, and she wants to meet me in DC because an in person talk might be the best way she feels like she could feel that one out."

Okay I just finished reading everything

._.

I feel like she wants you to do some sort of big gesture to show you know that you want her

Yeah that's what I was thinking (hoping)

5:25 am

That was train of thought B

It seems like she doesn't 100% know that you are dedicated, and I think we both know what that gesture is

What is the gesture?

Monogamy

Telling her I want to be official and start being exclusive?

5:25 am

yeah

I think she's going to feel horrible though either way

5:26 am

Because she will feel so bad for melina

Yeah I think so

Seems like she's a very empathetic person

5:28 am

Do you think if you left melina to be with Lauren that this would all get exposed online by melina?

I don't know if that's enough to keep us apart

5:29 am

I don't think Melina would do it but that would be a sad reason for things to fail

5:29 am

But if Lauren and I were dating at that point it's not like anything technically wrong was happening

I feel like if people found out about this, for you it would be bad (getting made fun off) but for Lauren it would be a lot worse because of her Conservative stuff

Yeah the thing is

5:31 am

I'm always fine

5:31 am

No one would make fun of me, since I'm the guy it's always seen as a +

5:31 am

but for her it would be a lot to deal with publicly, maybe

5:31 am

I don't know how much that would sway her decision, though

I know I would be more concerned that it would make things a lot more difficult for her though, and you would need to find a way to offset that ig

Yeah I'm not sure

5:32 am

It's not like she currently has strong ties to any conservative communities or anything

Yeah it just seems like she is having a really hard time, by the messages it seems like she's really beating herself up by the conflict of loving you, while being with this other guy

5:35 am

And I think if you could console her about that it might help her

Console her in what way?

5:35 am

I don't want her to be with the other guy lol

I mean about her feeling bad that she's betrayed her morals

5:36 am

If that makes sense

Oh yeah

5:36 am

I mean

5:36 am

Yeah

5:36 am

I'm just gonna

5:36 am

get her to her room and sit down across from her and bare my soul I guess

You've never felt this strongly before about a girl?

I don't think so

5:39 am

Sometimes I get honeymoon shit and I can realize it, but with her I have legitimately so much crossover for interests

5:39 am

like we've ton some drugs, jet skiing, shooting, off-roading, every random thing she's signed us up for has been super fun and enjoyable

Do you think she would want to get married?

yeah probably

5:40 am

she's mentioned it a lot as kind of jokes but not really

Do you think you can really do mono long term? I think you told me before you would always just cheat

I think this is like the one person that could hold my interest long-term

5:42 am

since we have such a huge cross-over of interests/hobbies

Have you told her that you would be willing to do mono yet at all?

Just barely in that one message I sent

5:44 am

I'm worried when I see her in real life it's going to come off as me groveling and not being sincere

I think you just need to be smart about not blowing your metaphorical load as soon as your talk begins

Yeah I understand that

5:46 am

I'm just worried I'm gonna break down like a loser immediately or something

Break down how? Like crying or

yeah

Have you cried about this situation yet?

not really, I'm mostly just stressed and frustrated, the only thing that makes me teary is when I'm thinking about the line "we could just be friends"

5:48 am

I don't know how I'll react to getting rejected in person, though

5:48 am

I don't think I've ever been in this situation before

Is this all or nothing for you, or?

Like, could I be friends with her?

Yeah I guess

I mean, I could

5:48 am

but I want way more

Do you think you'll be able to convince her? What are your premonitions on what's to come?

I don't know, I'm too emotional to evaluate

5:51 am

logically it seems like B, I think?

5:51 am

that's what the two people I've talked to said

5:51 am

but it feels like it could really be A

Does it feel like she's being intentionally distant at all?

5:52 am

I don't really know how much you would normally talk

5:52 am

So I can't tell from your messages lol

She was the past two weeks for sure

5:53 am

but she kept apologizing for being MIA

5:53 am

my worst case scenario in my mind was that she was hanging out with another guy

5:53 am

and it seems like that's come true

I feel like she wouldn't keep telling you she's loves you, and like very personal lovey things if she was going to go route A

5:54 am

Like she said you were her soul mate

5:55 am

I think you've got this aslong as you can convey to her that you're dedicated to her, and know that it's what you want

Yeah I think so

5:56 am

That's the goal

5:56 am

sigh

I really don't think she would call you her soulmate and not want you to be with her

5:58 am

Damn we probably won't talk anymore if you do get into a relationship with her lol

LOL

5:59 am

I mean we can talk it just wouldn't be sexual

6:00 am

you're super young but you've been a fun person to chat with, honestly generally if anyone <20 messages me we don't end up talking for more than a day or two

I'm glad that makes me happy

Since I've been so stressed/agitated today I haven't cum at all, maybe tomorrow I can send you a final big cumshot vid LOL

6:01 am

if I'm not too stressed about the coming day idk

LOL

6:02 am

I'd love that but don't push yourself

6:02 am

Keep me updated on what happens when you get the time, I'm like super invested now lol

Yeah for sure

You know you're inlove when you can't muster a cum shot damn

6:03 am

Hehe

I mean I've been in love the past month or two but today was just a big soul crushing day

6:04 am

sigh

You got this

6:05 am

I really mean it too, I'm not just hyping you up, it seems like she really loves you, and is super hoping you find a way to convince her

I think so, I hope so

6:05 am

we'll see

Will you sleep soon?

I think so, yeah

6:07 am

just waiting for the stress to calm down

6:07 am

I read her first message this morning at like 4 AM and wasn't able to sleep after so I've been awake for a while now, I think I'm getting tired

Have you done the thing where you keep reading the messages over and over again

I did earlier but every time I go over one my pulse rises like 50bpm because I feel like I'm coming across something that proves she's moved on and is just trying to let me down easy

6:09 am

I don't think it's good to go over them

It's definitely not good

6:09 am

You will destroy your mind

Yeah I'm hoping that doesn't happen 30 hours from now

You're doing an event with her right?

No, just going up there to see her

Ohhh I must have read wrong

6:12 am

Is she doing one?

A month ago she was super excited to have me up so she begged me even though it was just a couple of days, ofc I agreed, but things have changed since then for her it seems

6:12 am

yea she's on Tim Pool's show for a few nights

Dw you will win her over, and have an amazing few days ❤️ (edited)

6:15 am

Does she live in the US rn?

She lives in Canada, Vancouver ._.

6:15 am

but the logistics and all that don't matter, that's the easy part, assuming the emotions fall in line

Will you move up or will she move down?

I don't know, it doesn't matter to me.

I know I'm just trying to take your mind off the bad emotions!!!

lol okok

6:17 am

thank you

6:17 am

sorry for dumping so much

6:17 am

random stuff

You're fine!!!

6:17 am

Honestly its nice to have you open up a bit

._.

Whattt

nothing it's okay, just been a really rough day sorry lol

6:18 am

i'll be normal in a week or whatever, once I get past whatever this all is

Don't worry about being normal lol

6:20 am

Things will be good soon, you just gotta wait it out till you are there

Yeah we'll see

6:20 am

okay I'm gonna try to sleep for a few hours

6:20 am

my flights all got cancelled today, so I booked a new one for 6:30 AM zzz we'll see how it goes

Sleep well ❤️ I'm here if you need anything

okies, thanks, I'll be up in a few hours if you still are lol

6:21 am

otherwise goodnights, thanks for listeningo

O well I guess things got temporarily resolved in a pretty anticlimactic way

10:07 am

Well that makes things easier for you

10:09 am

Are you feeling better now

I guess so lol

10:10 am

zzz

10:10 am

How're you doing?

I'm doing good!

When you're up super late like this, what're you normally doing?

Watching stuff, playing games, talking to people

10:12 am

Nothing exciting really (edited)

10:12 am

I have a question

10:12 am

Will you still suggest exclusivity to her now?

I have no idea, we have to have some serious conversation and our future, though

What time is it where you are?

5:17 AM x.x

10:18 am

Waiting in line to go back through security now

Will you sleep when you land? Or do you have plans?

I go to Omaha today then fly to DC, then I'll probably chill and sleep yeah

Ohh are you with Nathan?

Yeah I am

10:19 am

Have to fly back with him to Omaha

Did you two have a good time?

Yeah it was fun

10:22 am

And he saw his grandparents

I'll leave you alone while you deal with your stinky flight stuff lol, try not to die of boredom :3

You're good, most of it is just waiting in lines lol

Your podcast! I'm excited for it (edited)

With Dan and Moot? If it happens yeah it'll be interesting

Just make Dan ragequit every episode for maximum content

At the gate now

11:00 am

And ahaha maybe

11:00 am

It'd be funny to make him ragequit on a real life podcast xD

How's the flight?

Pretty boring, just flying lol

1:22 pm

Now that my mood is stable I am ultra fucking horny, by tonight itl be like 48 hours since my last orgasm, I can't remember how long it's been since I've waited two days to cum >.>

Damnnn Steven poor boy

https://www.redgifs.com/watch/scratchypuzzlingamethystgemclam I need this plz help me >.>