Trader Lenny, the forgetful scholar. Leader of the biscuit Brigade in service of the Church of Dadbod
So just made a bad life decision. Was taking a #2 and didn't notice the toilet paper was out so I grabbed of one those nonflushable wipes. I would of been fine had it not been a disinfecting wipe. Now my ass burns like mt. Olympus fire.
S
12:32
Sylvestre
Congratulations
12:33
I'm so sorry to hear
TL
12:36
Trader Lenny, the forgetful scholar. Leader of the biscuit Brigade in service of the Church of Dadbod
Happens
M
12:48
Michichael
Lmao.
12:48
You wiped your ass with a chlorox wipe? :P
12:48
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S
12:58
Seasalt
lol
JB
13:34
Jeremy Brown (Otter)
This book on French fashion that I purchased is just fascinating
TL
14:37
Trader Lenny, the forgetful scholar. Leader of the biscuit Brigade in service of the Church of Dadbod
You can’t heal a broken heart. You just learn to cope and the pain isn’t as intense as time goes on...BUT IT DOESNT FUCKING GO AWAY
20:59
*cough* just thought I’d pass on wisdom to the younguns
D?
20:59
Daze 🇿🇦
This is probably why heart transplants were a thing in my country before it became widespread
R
20:59
Reason the LA Quail
If only
D?
21:00
Daze 🇿🇦
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R
21:00
Reason the LA Quail
Sadly. Having your heart broken often means you need your liver replaced... right @Michichael ?
21:00
Oh wait. His isn’t a broken heart... it’s that other people need brain transplants
D?
21:01
Daze 🇿🇦
Let your brain and heart trade places then. See if that eases everything
R
21:02
Reason the LA Quail
Probably. I only wish I was driven by being coveting money and aromantic interests
21:03
On a funny haha ends up crying note... I used to be engaged to Logic... guess Logic and Reason weren’t meant to be. Logic can be a sociopath absent emotion and Reason is too nice at the wrong times
T
21:24
Tamino
i know with breakups there are better days and worse days, and it sounds like you're having one of the worse ones. sorry to hear that. :-/
Aww. The talk of breakups, I keep trying to get over my one two years ago, but I can't get past the apathy for others that it brought about. Yet I'm feeling so lonely, but I can't trust anyone because I see all the ways they can break me.
TL
22:31
Trader Lenny, the forgetful scholar. Leader of the biscuit Brigade in service of the Church of Dadbod
Not really. I am about as over that person as I can be
22:48
There are no bad or good days.
22:49
That being said, there are break ups and then there are hearts broken
22:49
I’ve only had my heart broken twice. Both were painful, but the last engagement was lasting
BW
22:49
Brownie Wotter
At this point I still feel things sometimes when I see his face, but what's worse is the lasting impact that left on me
22:50
Although it had to happen because my idealism was out of hand.
R
22:50
Reason the LA Quail
Yeah. I like to put some of the responsibility on myself. I didnt have to let someone in. In the breakup, I did learn a lot about myself... maybe not enough to make the fall it worthwhile, but still
T
22:51
Tamino
bleah. i don't want to believe that losing idealism is inevitable. i want to believe that idealism is actually closer to where the real truth lies.
See... that’s a bit of the responsibility... good job
BW
22:51
Brownie Wotter
I don't believe that but maybe because I have a view many would describe as "pessimistic" I guess
R
22:51
Reason the LA Quail
It’s not that relationships are wrong... we just need to find healthy matches and learn that if one isn’t healthy it needs to be cut off
BW
22:52
Brownie Wotter
The way I see it the world is garbage, it doesn't owe me anything and I don't owe it anything in return, and the best slap in the face I can give it is to live my way.
Idealism is great. It’s kind of like believing in God
BW
22:52
Brownie Wotter
We never fought... that's a warning sign in itself
R
22:52
Reason the LA Quail
I prefer a healthy dose of reality coupled with strong dreams and an understanding of what cannot be compromised in a relationship
BW
22:53
Brownie Wotter
But I've been really needy lately and I don't like it :( there's loneliness and then there's believing I need a relationship to be happy and I've been leaning far too much on that end lately.
Nah. You only have one life... which means all you have is the now time. Don’t waste it on being an asshole and contributing to how fucked up the world is. Hold yourself to a higher standard. Be good to others- whatever that is
T
22:54
Tamino
there's a difference between "i need snuggles, touch, connection, kindness, give-and-take, to be happy" and "i need a very specific type of romantic relationship, to be happy".
BW
22:55
Brownie Wotter
I didn't mean it as not being good to others. But I'm not going to waste my time trying to better things that can't be helped.
T
22:55
Tamino
the former seems like sort of an objective (and as such unassailable) statement about human or mammalian nature. the latter is... yeah, on shakier ground.
BW
22:55
Brownie Wotter
Yeah, I know what you mean. I've definitely been lacking in the snuggle department lately which is part of it, but then even sometimes when I get that I still want more.
I get that. I have many life goals, but a few I think would put me in a better mindset are having a fulltime job where I am not struggling from paycheck to paycheck, nesting and making a place to call home and having a partner/mate to come home to and go on adventures with. These are dreams and goals. When I get sad, I get frustrated with how far away they seem, but they don’t define me as a person
Meh. That to me is the difference between a relationship and just physicality. I need snuggles/sex can be a one night stand or a fwb. A relationship implies a stronger connection and association with a person. But as a bird, nest. And no- that’s not mammalian
Not the worst area I’ve been in, but my goals are so far away
22:59
And I scream on the inside while being friendly on the outside
BW
23:00
Brownie Wotter
I want to make video games and write music for them, but I have trouble keeping myself together enough. And my apathy towards people doesn't help with my relationship goals.
23:00
So I definitely know what you mean, things seem so far away at times
R
23:01
Reason the LA Quail
Not to pick on you @tamwuff it’s just that I derive a personal happiness and satisfaction from sharing life experiences with my mate(s) and that’s a feeling that is impossible for me to get from a more casual relationship
23:01
People have different needs :)
23:02
And for me, that’s a goal and need. I hope it actualizes.
BW
23:02
Brownie Wotter
I think that's what I miss, I don't want to just see someone occasionally, I want to let them in on every detail of my life and vice versa.
R
23:03
Reason the LA Quail
I love the average stuff like grocery shopping and cooking together. Gardening and such
23:03
Some don’t need to live together or anything regular... I like that
BW
23:03
Brownie Wotter
Yesssss, so many mundane life events become better
Not as an attack, but when I hear apathy, it always seems to me that the person isn’t critically thinking about their interactions and people. Socialization is kind of a two way street and the more you practice the chances increase of finding someone who tolerates or even likes the oddities about you
BW
23:05
Brownie Wotter
Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to care and I try really hard too, but I can't help but see a lot of people as boring.
Life isn’t about vacations. It’s about doing the fucking laundry. Isn’t it better to have company that can make you laugh and you can conversate well during it?
It's like deep down I'm still hurt and can't trust that helping hand to form those connections or something
R
23:06
Reason the LA Quail
I’m often told I’m honest to a fault and that I’m a rare bird because I regularly talk about the deeper things in life
BW
23:06
Brownie Wotter
Some combination of those two things. I'm easily bored and hurt basically
23:07
And I try to start conversations about the deeper stuff, and if they just go "yep" at everything then it might be time to move on
R
23:07
Reason the LA Quail
The internet shouldn’t be a place where we vent our true feelings. I have this type of conversation all the time. And those that don’t like me I don’t spend time on
BW
23:07
Brownie Wotter
Not to mention I feel like a crazy person if I go really deep about a topic and don't hear similar depth in return.
Also, a conversation is two ways. So if you aren’t giving a person a chance to talk and if you aren’t listening to them too... now if you are- cut that boring person out lol
BW
23:08
Brownie Wotter
I like to think I listen well, and always try to provide more than a one or two word answer
Depends on what I think they need and my interest level
23:09
Speaking of which brb
BW
23:09
Brownie Wotter
I remember when they were teaching us communication skills at the hospital and we had to restate everything the other person said as a practice exercise. That's overkill but it helps
T
23:10
Tamino
what were you doing at a hospital?
BW
23:10
Brownie Wotter
I was in an outpatient program for mental health for four weeks because I was too depressed to work.
T
23:11
Tamino
oh. erf. i figured you meant you were working there!!
BW
23:11
Brownie Wotter
I think the scenario I described happens most when I talk about music, sometimes I bring up theory concepts and completely lose them
T
23:11
Tamino
gotcha.
23:11
sometimes if someone is telling me about stuff i don't understand, then i just ask them to explain it to me.
23:11
then they get to educate me, and i (hopefully) learn something.
BW
23:12
Brownie Wotter
Yeah! And being a curious pup, I can take well to that
23:12
That's why I think any partner I have has to be as curious as me.
23:13
I want someone to discover things with, learn from, and get to teach. All those are fun to me. But those don't happen when someone is content with doing the same things all throughout life.
23:14
That's... as much as I've learned from dismissing potential mates as "boring"
Yeah. Some people just don’t share that interest. Doesn’t mean that they lose value as a friend, just means that you have to work to find another interest.
23:18
Basically my rule of thumb is to find out how they treat others. If they are truly concerned with others then I will take on the extra effort to find topics of interest and work until I find one that sticks. If they aren’t nice people then I don’t waste my time.
23:18
Someone who has the potential to be a good friend has value to me period. Those are rare people
23:22
I’ve yet to be in a relationship where I could genuinely lean on someone and just let go and cry for a bit. Except my ex fiancé where... well, we were engaged for a reason. Sadly, I’m always the stronger one in my friendships or romantic relationships. Either that or it’s not really a situation where my friends are capable of seeing me sad and broken
23:23
But it has taught me to be independent and I value that.
23:23
I’m glad I am not looking for someone to bail me out of a situation or make the world better in general
23:24
It’d just be nice that when I trip and look like I am about to eat shit on the concrete that someone would be there with a hand to help me after the fall.
23:24
Anyways.. speaking of droning on..
23:25
How is everyone else’s night going? I am about to eat some bombast food I didn’t have to cook!
i was wrong about the definition of bombast. i thought it meant "unctuous" but instead it apparently means "cotton, or any soft, fibrous material, used as stuffing for garments; stuffing; padding."
I go when I need groceries. And I always make sure to have a protein in the freezer and a fresh veggie on hand. If you don’t have the ingredients to make a meal on hand then you will be less likely to make a meal and go out
do you need both your license and state id to go ? or just your id ?
14:56
bc my aunt wants to take me right , but i apparently need my license but i’ve never sat seriously in a drivers seat in my life so i feel it would take me a bit ..
T
14:56
That_One_Wofie
Anyways afternoon all!
BT
14:58
Birthday This Sunday!
Yea
BT
16:36
Birthday This Sunday!
I have a feeling this came from Albany, New York
16:36
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16:46
Oh yea
16:46
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16:46
They have longs drugs here instead of CVS... Ah the nostalgia
BT
18:29
Birthday This Sunday!
Top 10 anime betrails
18:29
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T
13:23
Tamino
*scritches*
S
13:26
Seasalt
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D?
13:30
Daze 🇿🇦
*squeezes self into the hug bundle*
T
13:31
Tamino
*gladly opens his arms for*
13:32
I'm reading "Walkaway". It's slow going. Not really my kind of book. But I see why people think it's important.
D?
13:33
Daze 🇿🇦
Interesting. I noticed I haven't really touched a book in ages .__.
S
13:34
Seasalt
HUGGLES
M
13:38
Michichael
What's it about tamino
13:38
*yawns, looking into reported vpn issues*
T
13:41
Tamino
I have a feeling it's going to go full-on Charlie Stross in a little bit, but the first hundred pages were thought provoking about gift economies and anarchy. :-P
13:43
I don't have a lot of patience for singularity stuff. I think if we worry too much about how great it'll be in the future where robots and nanotech and AI do everything, we miss the opportunities we have *now* to do a better job loving and caring for each other in a way that doesn't presume any particular kind of tech.
D?
13:54
Daze 🇿🇦
Being a simple-minded creature who only knows how to show affection sounds like my way of going about things
T
13:57
Tamino
*nuzzle between ears.*
C
14:07
Carci
:3
14:07
*yap*
M
14:21
Michichael
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14:35
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I wouldn't mind signing up for that tbh, since I've lived most of my life around little kids and know what it's like to handle them. Generally speaking
Are you really a Berkeley alumni if you don't hate Stanford?
HT
16:42
H̵a̴r̷u̸d̵o̷ The Otteryeen
And it’s now double elimination
T
17:00
Tamino
i think what i find so troubling about the concept of a longstanding university rivalry, is that for a while i *did* hate stanford. or i thought i did. i got the same training that everyone else did. i was taught how to say "TAKE OFF THAT RED SHIRT!" and i said it with gusto.
17:01
humans can be awful, and i certainly wasn't above that. but i hope i've learned from it since.
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17:14
OwO
17:14
Furries take over haha.
T
17:19
Tamino
i don't know if i'd want furries to take over by force, because anything done by force is sort of just as bad as the current system. but i'd love it if more furs treated being furry as if it were an ongoing project to find different and better ways of living. rather than "just a hobby".
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D?
17:21
Daze 🇿🇦
It doesn't have to be by force honestly. We can just wait for the right moment when furries are well integrated into society, and other people take note of why we have the potential to make the world a better, if not cozier place
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AAAAA
T
17:47
That_One_Wofie
BBBBBBBBBBBB
HT
17:47
H̵a̴r̷u̸d̵o̷ The Otteryeen
See
T
17:47
Tamino
4426 ms latency is fun!
HT
17:47
H̵a̴r̷u̸d̵o̷ The Otteryeen
Extactly
17:48
extactly
T
17:48
That_One_Wofie
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T
17:48
Tamino
i got very good at typing ahead in a vi session, including typing three or four commands ahead and anticipating exactly where the cursor would be when it caught up. :-P
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17:51
I am crazy! Hehe
T
17:51
Tamino
there were times when even though i had a 14.4kbps modem, the line quality was bad enough that i had to crank it back to 2400 bps. and yes, sometimes i ran CSLIP over 2400 bps.
i think you've been doing the right things, asking on the telegram groups. if you wanted you could try the mailing list.
18:49
Deleted Account
are there more people on there?
18:49
like, how many others?
T
18:49
Tamino
i don't think anyone except the admin is quite sure exactly.
18:50
they probably skew older, which may mean less chance of success for finding current college students :-/ but it's an idea.
18:51
the discord might be worth a try too?
TL
18:52
Trader Lenny, the forgetful scholar. Leader of the biscuit Brigade in service of the Church of Dadbod
Umm not sure many Standford goers would come out.
T
18:53
Tamino
honestly my guess is there's probably some super secret "furries@stanford" invite-only thing that people have set up and you have to "know someone who knows someone".
18:54
but we'd have no way of knowing that. or even knowing who to direct gari towards.
TL
18:54
Trader Lenny, the forgetful scholar. Leader of the biscuit Brigade in service of the Church of Dadbod
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Such a dope seat!
R
20:08
Reason the LA Quail
So a person messaged me from Ferzu. In 5 minutes of conversation he has made several spelling mistakes without correcting himself. Some were hard to figure out what he meant like bread and breed. This bothers me. Am I being a bitch?
i think people have internalized the "basement dwelling furry" stereotype and have started to see it (or think they see it) everywhere. but i think reality is more nuanced than that and has more shades of gray.
is someone with a highly paid tech job who spends all their money on furry conventions and video gaming gear, worth more or less as a person than someone who works at 7-11 and who spends the rest of their time when they're not working, taking care of the broken and the depressed in the community?
is a musician who is so good at their craft that their music can bring tears to your eyes and make you forgive everyone who ever hurt you, worth more or less as a person than someone who knows how to fix cars and has a ham radio license and enough first-aid knowledge to be useful in a natural disaster?
Dude. The majority sit in front of computers and eat shit food. After about 23/24 your body starts to show the way it will be aging. The guy begins and if you don’t have a lifestyle change, it will continue to grow
And just like anything. The shitty ones aren’t the majority of the population but the cause 90% of the drama and problems
22:55
Someone who isn’t causing a scene is more forgettable than someone who is unstable and crazy
22:56
But yeah. When I talk to people I am interested in, I have basic standards
22:58
1. Do you have a job or career? 2. Do you have a car (this one is required for me to date someone)? 3. Do you live with you parents? 4. Are you by furry standards mentally stable? There is no make or break except number 2, but you better have a damn good reason if you do
23:01
I feel like these 4 things should be used to examine most people. Furries and normies alike
23:02
Now, you younguns out there. You fail number three. And you are young. That is your excuse and that’s totally cool. Which is why y’all are friendzoned.
T
23:04
Tamino
i literally could not possibly care less about 1 or 2. 3 is inconvenient for privacy reasons, but it's a solvable problem and one that i'm happy to help with. 4 i guess depends on your definition of stable. obviously i want to be around people who meet my definition of stable, but that's sort of a truism.
I live in Monterey. The transportation isn’t as good as the Bay Area
23:05
Imagine if there was no bart or Caltrain and you wanted to date someone in Oakland or Livermore
23:05
No.
23:06
I used to commute every weekend to see my bf in college. Never again. It has to be a back and forth
23:07
That same relationship I used my scholarship money to pay for our food because he was poor. I spent thousands that I could have used for other things to support us and commute to see him
23:08
So now I require the my person of interest to be capable of going back and forth
23:09
But in terms of friends, none of these are required. The rules are basically for dating only.... oh wait. I take that back. Keep rule 4. I want stable-ish friends too
C
23:09
Carci
Back and forth, back and forth!
R
23:10
Reason the LA Quail
I’m super poor in my current job so I can’t afford to pay for my friends
One of these days I am going to have to figure out just how gay you are fennec!
C
23:10
Carci
<.<
R
23:10
Reason the LA Quail
Either that or permanently turn you so
C
23:10
Carci
>.>
R
23:10
Reason the LA Quail
HAHAHA
T
23:11
Tamino
i would have a lot more money than i do, if i made different choices that didn't involve giving so much of it to other people. but if i did that, i wouldn't be me. my father never understood that. or maybe he did start to understand it at the very end of his life.
i am one of those people that has always been heavy set. its not diet or lack of exercise. I can be on the larger side of normal range when i am exercising 1-2 hours a day or biking 20 miles 3-4 times a week... but yeah
i have no major body issues. i think i just have a lot lower self esteem than i should. i havent had complaints about what my body is capable of. quite the contrary. plus, i just got done backpacking for 3 days on sand...
29 July 2018
TL
00:36
Trader Lenny, the forgetful scholar. Leader of the biscuit Brigade in service of the Church of Dadbod
Someone recommended a couple years back that I should design a sona for myself, since even though I've been familiar with the fandom for a long time, I had no interest in doing so. So I just slapped random colours together and whatnot lol