I've made my decision about a new major step for my life. It'll take time still for things to improve but now I start the adjustment. I am DONE with my family! They've done nothing but harm me. Even as a helped a child my mother and brother abused me physically, and who knows maybe brother abused me sexually and that's why I'm gay since I was attracted to men since age 8! Fast
forward.my family would still keep abusing me emotionally and taking advantage of me. Then brother abused financially and verbally and mentally. I can honestly in my family, I always had electronics that is let family use. I've NEVER got anything back I let brother use. Why? He destroys them! Whether worth 5 bucks or 1000 bucks he destroyed them all. I've slaved my ass off for them to make them happy and I am done! Jeres a secret, for last over half a decade I've taken care of my mother since she is unable to take care of herself. NOBODY can live with her! But being she gave birth to me I couldn't abandon her so I decoded to take care of her and all but in return when all she does is complain and accuse me of not giving a shit... Uhm hello? I live in a fuckin car for you! But I am DONE. So now begins the process of breaking up with my entire family. Still will be some time till things improve for me but hey, now there is hope. I need to focus on myself and get well physically mentally and emotionally! I am walking on a sheet of glass made of sugar! I am close to a complete breakdown all because I chose to not give up on family. I will NEVER kill myself or anyone, but all this stress is going to kill me! Like tonight, the half hour drive wjere 1 second even of distraction will cause a multi fatality pile up. I don't ever recall making the drive. Was like a zombie. When I had my potentially life saving surgery when i was a teen, my mothers (mother was gay) they picked me up and I felt so awful I couldn't wait to go to bed. But instead of home they went shopping right from the hospital. A couple different places. My last day of elemantry school my backup was so heavy I needed help to get it to car. We come home and they leave it in car. I ask them for 3 days and on 4th day I learn how fucked up the world is becajse it was stolen. So yeah, fuck a family who all they do is hold you back from a good life!