<2021-08-01T03:08:47.000Z> em: 🙃 maybe my phone's not sending texts, if that's the case ... Hi <3 
<2021-08-01T03:09:27.000Z> em: It's been a long day without youuu 
<2021-08-01T03:17:35.000Z> graf: did you try restarting
<2021-08-01T03:17:35.000Z> graf: miss u
<2021-08-01T06:51:58.000Z> em: You've been texting me ? 
<2021-08-01T06:52:07.000Z> em: Or did you ever get mine 
<2021-08-01T06:52:16.000Z> em: Miss you ❤️
<2021-08-01T10:41:17.000Z> graf: miss u
<2021-08-01T20:49:50.000Z> em: I think I texted you this morning, I just woke up and idk where I put that phone.  I feel like shit but my mom woke me up with something like 10 day escrow and keys to the other house and idk but I think it's good :) 
<2021-08-01T20:50:21.000Z> em: Just saying hi in case you texted mee
<2021-08-01T20:50:26.000Z> em: Meow 
<2021-08-01T21:08:34.000Z> em: Also are you friends with George Soros?  Cuz he wants me to tag you and idk how open you wanna be online. 
<2021-08-01T21:16:09.000Z> em: :/ 
<2021-08-01T21:19:09.000Z> em: Imy :/ guess I'll just go back to sleep. 
<2021-08-01T21:24:45.000Z> graf: sorry man im not checking this
<2021-08-01T21:24:52.000Z> graf: I use a desktop app not the website and it doesnt have chat yet
<2021-08-01T21:25:19.000Z> em: :/ okay
<2021-08-01T21:25:34.000Z> em: Thank you for letting me know
<2021-08-01T21:25:59.000Z> em: I'm sorry too I'm just struggling with too much in my head 
<2021-08-01T21:26:10.000Z> graf: where is the phone
<2021-08-01T21:26:38.000Z> em: Idk, I'll look for it again when I get up 
<2021-08-01T21:26:53.000Z> em: I don't even understand what happened I must have got up this morning
<2021-08-01T21:30:18.000Z> graf: sorry i bean busy all day i have no idea you were talking to me earlier and then just fucked off
<2021-08-01T21:32:22.000Z> em: As long as I talk to you I'm happy, I fell asleep. I would have said something unless it was in my hand. Maybe I check floor for phone ...
<2021-08-01T21:32:37.000Z> em: Why are you being so harsh with me :(
<2021-08-01T21:32:45.000Z> graf: ?? im not!!
<2021-08-01T21:33:20.000Z> em: Okay maybe I'm overwhelmed rn I'm sorry
<2021-08-01T21:36:56.000Z> graf: sorry i dont mean to appear that way
<2021-08-01T21:37:01.000Z> graf: i was angry earlier at website but imfine 
<2021-08-01T21:37:06.000Z> graf: just lonely
<2021-08-01T21:58:47.000Z> em: I'm gonna be a 10 hour drive in 10 days 
<2021-08-01T21:58:53.000Z> em: Or something like that 
<2021-08-01T21:59:36.000Z> em: The only thing that makes me slightly ok with this overwhelming news is the fact its a step closer to giving you a hug 
<2021-08-01T22:00:12.000Z> em: Hugs are always first especially when I'm lonely too and need one so bad  https://img.poast.org/f9c70ab4921c6c1797912fd8827aa640990e723e7c16c1134868e54a61cc4e20.png
<2021-08-01T22:07:21.000Z> graf: what does it mean
<2021-08-01T22:07:24.000Z> graf: you are moving in 10 days?
<2021-08-01T22:21:58.000Z> em: That's what the realtor said, the paperwork is signed tomorrow and in ten days (11) counting today. The house my mum and uncle picked will be ours. 
<2021-08-01T22:22:10.000Z> em: So technically yes , plus the drive lol 
<2021-08-01T22:31:51.000Z> graf: proud of u
<2021-08-01T22:49:13.000Z> em: Proud of ? Haha 
<2021-08-01T22:49:17.000Z> em: I didn't do nothin
<2021-08-01T22:49:28.000Z> em: I've been sad sacking in bed like a loser. 
<2021-08-01T22:55:57.000Z> graf: its national girlfriends day ":/
<2021-08-01T22:57:05.000Z> em: 🥺you should just ask meee  also plz seem excited  smh I saaaay sweet things to you and you don't respond. Waaaa
<2021-08-01T23:02:47.000Z> graf: ask you what
<2021-08-01T23:02:50.000Z> graf: i am excited for you
<2021-08-01T23:02:55.000Z> graf: I thought you knew this
<2021-08-01T23:02:56.000Z> graf: :(
<2021-08-01T23:04:01.000Z> em: to not be single online or offline ..  
<2021-08-01T23:05:14.000Z> em: Mmm thank you Dan , youre not always very expressive...and sometimes maybe I get a little unsure
<2021-08-01T23:05:31.000Z> graf: i am trying my best !!
<2021-08-01T23:05:42.000Z> em: But don't say anything cuz it's in my head cuz it's just how you type 
<2021-08-01T23:05:46.000Z> graf: there is no difference between online or offline 
<2021-08-01T23:11:21.000Z> em: I am just being open with you, it's not anything but that. 
<2021-08-01T23:11:35.000Z> em: I'm saying I want to be your girlfriend Dan ...
<2021-08-01T23:11:53.000Z> em: I really wish that never ended the first time 
<2021-08-01T23:12:39.000Z> graf: shh dont think about the past pls
<2021-08-01T23:12:42.000Z> em: there's no difference, I was just being "dramatic"
<2021-08-01T23:13:18.000Z> em: We can drop the past , okay 
<2021-08-01T23:14:00.000Z> em: It would make me feel better anyway , fresh beginning, but my feelings aren't as fresh lol 
<2021-08-01T23:20:20.000Z> graf: mine arent either
<2021-08-01T23:25:25.000Z> em: ❤️I'm thankful for that at least 
<2021-08-03T23:11:49.000Z> em: Did I upset you..?
<2021-08-03T23:14:38.000Z> graf: well you're ignoring me all day so
<2021-08-03T23:18:48.000Z> em: It says delivered ...
<2021-08-03T23:19:00.000Z> em: Like you've been ignoring me :/ 
<2021-08-03T23:19:41.000Z> graf: haha go off https://img.poast.org/2a99b03f7f487530f5acc0d20bba1901b826c6bc919fe04b66100ca0a8a0db55.png
<2021-08-03T23:20:59.000Z> em: :( I was so upset.. https://img.poast.org/6cca229149c614fdcd33ba87c9685ef81a7a236aaa84373f5d829d4e3c78de4d.png
<2021-08-03T23:21:15.000Z> em: I texted again also ...
<2021-08-03T23:22:03.000Z> em: But you didn't even open it so I thought you needed time and then I saw you on here so ..here I am... Should have tried this sooner rather than moping cuz I thought I upset you 
<2021-08-03T23:24:05.000Z> graf: yeah well im not getting any of them and i know its not my phone bc im talking to someone in alberta right now and im not checking this so
<2021-08-03T23:24:42.000Z> em: Well... What can I do love . Are you still mad ? I've been thinking about you all day /: 
<2021-08-03T23:26:19.000Z> em: I had literally responded to you the same minute you sent the text .... 
<2021-08-03T23:26:33.000Z> em: To think I would ignore you hurts me :(
<2021-08-03T23:41:23.000Z> graf: im not mad
<2021-08-03T23:41:31.000Z> graf: im upset that ive beee alone all day but its whatever
<2021-08-03T23:50:02.000Z> em: Well, I'm gonna try to Text you again..
<2021-08-03T23:51:41.000Z> em: Ugh 😫 
<2021-08-03T23:51:57.000Z> em: Imy hi 
<2021-08-03T23:52:06.000Z> em: You're not alone...
<2021-08-03T23:52:12.000Z> em: I'm here ❣️
<2022-06-11T23:40:08.000Z> em: I miss ya, I hope all is much bettaaa ! And I'm happy you've found a lady that suits ya better (: 
<2022-06-11T23:40:23.000Z> em: Sorry things got so shit so fast. I do apologize for all that mess 
<2022-06-12T01:28:31.000Z> graf: I'm good thanks hope you enjoy your house 
<2022-06-12T03:12:43.000Z> em: I'm enjoying my new city, and my house is really fitting for us ❤️ crazy how much life can change so fast. 
<2022-06-12T03:12:58.000Z> em: Happy to hear you're good too 😄
<2022-06-12T03:14:06.000Z> em: Kinda surprised you responded, I've been meaning to apologize for months now since I've been doing better but , can't say I've really had the balls to lol
<2022-06-12T03:25:20.000Z> graf: you're fine. glad everything's good 
<2022-06-12T03:54:42.000Z> em: Thanks, && me too!  
<2022-06-12T03:55:12.000Z> em: Have a good night (:
<2022-06-12T04:00:09.000Z> graf: you too
<2022-06-30T03:18:54.000Z> graf attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/2494451d010c7f6da14fad743cdebc7454dc71384f6a21604120591b8036bdbd.png
<2022-07-05T00:08:12.000Z> em: LOL oh no
<2022-08-15T19:47:00.000Z> em: Can I ask you a pc related question ?
<2022-08-15T19:47:24.000Z> em: >-<  you know how nervous I get. 
<2022-08-15T19:48:48.000Z> em: I noticed my nvdia was not plugged in and after some searching I found a website to follow but then it gave me scary note so now Im here xD I'm not wrecking this laptop im so grateful for lmao 
<2022-08-15T19:49:19.000Z> graf: it's a laptop what do you mean not plugged in
<2022-08-15T19:49:47.000Z> em: the sound card
<2022-08-15T19:51:06.000Z> em: dunno why I cant send screen cap 
<2022-08-15T19:51:58.000Z> em: want to do driver update, to see if I can use it ( or maybe Im stupid and its not an option idk lol ) 
<2022-08-15T19:53:11.000Z> graf: if you didnt turn it off i would start with the driver update
<2022-08-15T19:53:21.000Z> graf: i think you can turn them off in the bios i dont know i dont have mine here to look
<2022-08-15T19:54:10.000Z> em: it says I dont need an update, but like, I'm at the bottom of this page, but when I click 
<2022-08-15T19:54:13.000Z> em: next
<2022-08-15T19:54:23.000Z> em: drivereasy.com/knowledge/fix-nvidia-output-not-plugged-in/#o2
<2022-08-15T19:54:35.000Z> graf: what are you trying to do and what is it not doing
<2022-08-15T19:54:37.000Z> em: it gives me a scary asss note lol
<2022-08-15T19:54:56.000Z> graf: also you have to attach text to an image if you're trying to send it to me because i have filters because people send me unsolicited shit all the time 
<2022-08-15T19:55:40.000Z> em: I was just curious what the differnce was between the audio choices cuz currently, it says realtek 
<2022-08-15T19:55:54.000Z> em: and it used to give me the other one but now it doesnt
<2022-08-15T19:56:50.000Z> em: its not needed, or important --- I was just curious and trying to learn how to switch over til I noticed the unplugged thing
<2022-08-15T19:57:04.000Z> graf: show me what you're talking about 
<2022-08-15T19:57:44.000Z> em: how can I do that 
<2022-08-15T19:58:26.000Z> em: the ctrl v with a printed screen aint working 
<2022-08-15T19:58:34.000Z> em: thats the only way I know 
<2022-08-15T19:59:30.000Z> graf: windows has "snipping tool" click start and type snipping. it will show up
<2022-08-15T20:00:53.000Z> em: i try , ty 
<2022-08-15T20:03:58.000Z> em attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/a50f8d8fefcdfd79191a00fd6e5eaaf0fe5926b4deb712be06612da640363984.png
<2022-08-15T20:04:19.000Z> em: idk unstable isnt fun for anyone or anything 
<2022-08-15T20:04:20.000Z> em: lol
<2022-08-15T20:05:55.000Z> graf: that box is giving you the different versions of the driver you already have installed to choose from. the title of that box tells me that the driver is installed because windows knows what it is
<2022-08-15T20:06:01.000Z> graf: what is this 'unplugged' message you are talking about
<2022-08-15T20:07:25.000Z> em: not where I first saw it, but it says it here tooooo https://i.poastcdn.org/39081d582994dc6148567a52f44890df04c40aead46a980195a71a379a080ad5.png
<2022-08-15T20:08:04.000Z> em: seems to only be connected to the realtek now
<2022-08-15T20:08:17.000Z> graf: thats just telling you that an external monitor with audio support is not plugged into your computer. 'nvidia output' is because you have an HDMI port on your computer to plug a monitor in. hdmi sends sound signals too so your video card has to support sending sound out of that hdmi port into the monitor
<2022-08-15T20:08:22.000Z> graf: that is fine to ignore 
<2022-08-15T20:08:37.000Z> em: but I remember when I first got this, the other was an option ---- annnnd oh
<2022-08-15T20:08:54.000Z> em: wellll, I guess this is how I learn things 
<2022-08-15T20:09:33.000Z> graf: see mine? https://i.poastcdn.org/c6507f99fa5ff37c92bf0adb4036a3d1428a2b2583e501c188f9f4fbf9819e8c.png
<2022-08-15T20:09:53.000Z> graf: two of my monitors support sound but the third one, an old lenovo, doesnnt
<2022-08-15T20:10:29.000Z> em: I hope its fine I come to you, even if its silly... tbh youre the only person I trust and dont mind feelin like a dummy infront of lol   ((( and I see that ,, so how can I get my monitor to make sound? I actually have a pretty decent one :) 
<2022-08-15T20:10:39.000Z> em: ill plug it in annnnd test 
<2022-08-15T20:10:41.000Z> em: ha
<2022-08-15T20:11:05.000Z> graf: some monitors have a plug for headphones or speakers, or even have speakers built in
<2022-08-15T20:11:22.000Z> em: its built in 
<2022-08-15T20:11:53.000Z> em: I cant get it, or the display port to work 
<2022-08-15T20:12:20.000Z> em: but ill message the refurbish person about that  
<2022-08-15T20:12:22.000Z> em: xD 
<2022-08-15T20:12:55.000Z> graf: alright
<2022-08-15T20:13:35.000Z> em: Thanks for the help / your time 
<2022-08-15T20:13:49.000Z> em: appreciate it 
<2022-08-15T20:15:28.000Z> graf: you got it
<2022-10-13T17:39:14.000Z> em: personally, I think you should try to expand poast/fedi .... 
<2022-10-13T17:39:33.000Z> em: I know you wanna do right by your peeps now , by asking etc
<2022-10-13T17:39:45.000Z> em: but in the long run, do what you want
<2022-10-13T17:40:10.000Z> em: you dont need me sayin that, cuz I think you know deep down  YOU over anyone else.
<2022-10-13T17:40:37.000Z> em: ps. hope youre doing well :)
<2022-10-13T17:41:08.000Z> graf: i am. we are working on a solution to sell managed instances to people who want to have their own but dont want the headache of management. thats the next step. thank you im trying my best
<2022-10-13T18:23:22.000Z> em: That's awesome!! Smart idea ... I was just thinking about making an instance for myself today and then I realized I have no idea how to even start lol.. or an idea in general.... I've been so offline, I kind of miss it 
<2022-10-13T18:23:40.000Z> graf: offline is better than online. wish i was you
<2022-10-13T18:23:45.000Z> graf: ignore the paperclips im working on something
<2022-10-13T18:24:26.000Z> em: I see no paperclip heh ... And yes it is sometimes but I have no social life and I do miss people... And I'm too weird for in person 😂
<2022-10-13T18:24:42.000Z> em: Everything will work out for you Dan.  Have no worries 
<2022-10-13T18:25:14.000Z> graf: it probably wont but thanks for the vote of confidence i appreciate it
<2022-10-13T18:25:20.000Z> em: Oh wtf huge paperclips 
<2022-10-13T18:25:26.000Z> em: I'm laughing 😂 
<2022-10-13T18:25:49.000Z> em: My dear you have to be more positive, The faking It making it thing is as real as can be
<2022-10-13T18:26:04.000Z> em: I'm going to be positive for you just to balance out
<2022-10-13T18:26:23.000Z> graf: thank you
<2022-10-13T18:26:31.000Z> em: I've been reading good books and changing my mentality slowly and it's been a noticeable change in my life and it just makes it easier from there out
<2022-10-13T18:26:41.000Z> em: Absolutely 🤗🥺
<2022-10-13T18:27:02.000Z> em: Smile 😁 make your bed and always look forward 
<2022-10-13T18:27:04.000Z> em: Lol
<2022-10-13T18:28:44.000Z> graf: I dont have time to make my bed, I'm busy from the time I open my eyes until the  time I manage to fall asleep
<2022-10-13T18:29:06.000Z> em: You need to make time for yourself, for your mental health for your physical health
<2022-10-13T18:29:15.000Z> em: Please take care of yourself 💕
<2022-10-13T18:29:47.000Z> graf: I'm trying my best
<2022-10-13T18:30:25.000Z> em: better be!!! 
<2022-10-13T18:32:49.000Z> graf: i am, im fixing the paperclip thing right now so you doint have to seal with it
<2022-10-13T18:34:05.000Z> graf: there, no more paperclip
<2022-10-14T16:48:56.000Z> em: No more paperclip 👀
<2022-10-14T16:49:11.000Z> em: Aha! You're correct!
<2022-10-14T17:25:04.000Z> graf: hope you have a good day
<2022-10-14T23:05:22.000Z> em: Hope you are too! 
<2022-10-14T23:05:44.000Z> graf: im really not but i dont want to drag you down
<2022-10-15T00:53:13.000Z> em: You won't , what's going on? 
<2022-10-15T00:53:27.000Z> em: You know I've had real cheese curds now. In Wisconsin lol 
<2022-10-15T00:54:05.000Z> em: Just thought I'd let you know .... looking out on menus for Poutine! One day haha
<2022-10-15T00:55:00.000Z> graf: just tired of being treated like shit
<2022-10-15T00:55:05.000Z> graf: it's ok maybe that's what I deserve 
<2022-10-15T00:55:57.000Z> em: Don't allow it ... 
<2022-10-15T00:56:09.000Z> em: Maybe it happens cuz you feel that 
<2022-10-15T00:57:16.000Z> em: I'm gonna send you new age vibey videos mixed with ancient philosophy and you just do both and accept only what you deserve ( which is good things ok ) 
<2022-10-15T00:57:50.000Z> em: Might take a minute. I watch Soooo much feel better shit for a better frame of mind 
<2022-10-15T00:57:56.000Z> graf: okay..
<2022-10-15T00:57:59.000Z> em: Still have some moody days myself. 
<2022-10-15T00:58:09.000Z> em: Sorry 
<2022-10-15T00:58:23.000Z> em: Still spazzy as you can see too. Ha 
<2022-10-15T01:01:39.000Z> graf: nothing wrong with that
<2022-10-15T01:07:05.000Z> em: I wish that was the normal response I get. Teehee :D 
<2022-10-15T01:07:19.000Z> em: But seriously, don't be sad. 
<2022-10-15T01:09:14.000Z> graf: when i finally have a healthy relationship i will not be sad
<2022-10-15T01:09:14.000Z> graf: thank you
<2022-10-19T16:14:37.000Z> em: Still without internet, the new box came today but ... It's confusing me lmaoooo 
<2022-10-19T16:14:53.000Z> em: Anyways just wanted to say I'm not purposely going AWOL 
<2022-10-19T16:17:06.000Z> graf: whats wrong with it
<2022-10-19T16:18:02.000Z> em: Well this box came with no internet like the last ? 
<2022-10-19T16:18:37.000Z> graf: what do you mean it came with no internet lol
<2022-10-19T16:18:40.000Z> graf: what is the model number
<2022-10-19T16:19:19.000Z> em: So basically T-Mobile has a home internet now and I wish we had another choice but this is it .... The last box came with it, and all you do is connect your address point and make a password and username 
<2022-10-19T16:19:32.000Z> em: Easy as pie 
<2022-10-19T16:19:55.000Z> em: But this one, doesn't even show up on wifi to connect your phone to the box via app? 
<2022-10-19T16:20:33.000Z> em: I'll call them but like dude Its been internet problems since we arrived. I'm starting to think old house rejects modern pleasure 😂
<2022-10-19T16:21:03.000Z> em: I mean I can go that route but video games will be the end of my already dead social life LMAO 
<2022-10-19T16:21:18.000Z> em: No* video games 
<2022-10-19T16:21:43.000Z> graf: tell me the model number damnit
<2022-10-19T16:23:22.000Z> em: Uhhhhh
<2022-10-19T16:23:54.000Z> em: FAST 5688w 
<2022-10-19T16:23:56.000Z> em: Lol
<2022-10-19T16:24:38.000Z> graf: okay did you put the sim card in it
<2022-10-19T16:24:55.000Z> em: Yeah but do you think I use my old one ?
<2022-10-19T16:25:13.000Z> graf: did they send you a new one?
<2022-10-19T16:26:55.000Z> em: Yes 
<2022-10-19T16:27:00.000Z> em: Today 
<2022-10-19T16:27:02.000Z> em: Finally 
<2022-10-19T16:27:03.000Z> graf: if they sent you a new one then you need to use the new one
<2022-10-19T16:27:09.000Z> graf: so put the new one in it and turn it on
<2022-10-19T16:27:15.000Z> em: This is all new 
<2022-10-19T16:27:31.000Z> em: That's why I'm confused 
<2022-10-19T16:27:41.000Z> graf: put the new one in!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<2022-10-19T16:27:49.000Z> em: Like I said the old one when I turned it on it had internet from them, this one has no internet connection ? 
<2022-10-19T16:28:13.000Z> graf: so you can connect to the wifi but theres no internet?
<2022-10-19T16:30:11.000Z> em: I'm saying that, in order to connect my phone app to the Wi-Fi box, they need me to connect to the internet they provide me that hasnt showen up 
<2022-10-19T16:30:23.000Z> em: shown *
<2022-10-19T16:30:43.000Z> graf: I think you would have to call them to activate the new sim, but if the instructions dont say to use a new one (the website says use the old one) then just use the old one
<2022-10-19T16:30:52.000Z> em: Idk I'll unplug and see what happens 
<2022-10-19T16:31:18.000Z> em: I took a break cuz annoying but it just ends with calling them again lmao I can feel it
<2022-10-19T16:31:34.000Z> graf: im going to fight you
<2022-10-19T16:31:37.000Z> graf: put the old sim in RIGHT NOW
<2022-10-19T16:33:55.000Z> graf: Emma do it right now!!!
<2022-10-19T16:40:16.000Z> graf: 🤬
<2022-10-19T18:12:22.000Z> em: Old sim huh? 
<2022-10-19T18:12:28.000Z> em: I'll try that I guess lol 
<2022-10-19T18:12:35.000Z> em: Sorry, family needed meeeee
<2022-10-19T18:12:45.000Z> graf: do it!!!!!!!!!
<2022-10-19T18:13:02.000Z> em: Ok Ill try dat
<2022-10-19T18:36:35.000Z> em: Seems to be working for nowwww
<2022-10-19T18:36:41.000Z> em: with the old sim carddd
<2022-10-19T18:36:53.000Z> em: maybe old box was fucked from shipping
<2022-10-19T18:36:54.000Z> em: mmm
<2022-10-19T18:37:00.000Z> em: yay happy 
<2022-10-19T18:43:01.000Z> graf: good job 
<2022-10-22T05:09:41.000Z> graf: fixed images !!!!!!!
<2022-10-22T05:13:49.000Z> graf attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/5d84685612c88a082aaa3cba0388e28fd7a638bf09d03f7cb5089fea6f735ce4.jpg
<2022-10-26T15:10:51.000Z> em: Lol fat kitten:3
<2022-10-26T15:35:42.000Z> em: sooooo I took advantage of this back when you were posting about it, and Ill be honest......  I am not sure what Ive been paying for  https://i.poastcdn.org/95a2ed405910417dde706b0a15328b59ad9d6ba4efba3a9cf19a283bfcc676d4.png
<2022-10-26T15:36:02.000Z> em: Now it says this LOL and I know its not working 
<2022-10-26T15:36:33.000Z> em: but my question is, since I got the steaming package, what does that mean
<2022-10-26T15:36:42.000Z> em: streaming* 
<2022-10-26T15:37:19.000Z> em: =) and now that Ive gone to windows 11 ... what has that done to make the driver--- quit?
<2022-10-26T15:38:15.000Z> em: ps. penguin is hardcore judging.. look at that faceeeee
<2022-10-26T16:42:24.000Z> graf: thats a virtual network adapter, the driver its talking about. thats a VPN service to protect your IP from being revealed to websites you visit. the streaming package gives you the ability to bypass regional blocks like on netflix if you're in canada and want to watch shit from US netflix
<2022-10-26T16:42:40.000Z> graf: to fix that error you just have to uninstall it and reinstall the package from torguard.net
<2022-10-27T03:00:01.000Z> em: Okay easy enough! Thanks for explaining 😃 
<2023-01-29T11:19:28.000Z> em: just checkin in to say hii 
<2023-01-29T11:19:45.000Z> em: i kinda miss being online all the time, lol 
<2023-01-29T11:19:54.000Z> em: have a good day Dan :)
<2023-01-29T17:19:16.000Z> graf: miss u
<2023-02-03T06:39:01.000Z> em: miss you too 
<2023-02-03T07:12:33.000Z> graf: promise?
<2023-02-03T08:59:52.000Z> graf: I miss having dinner with you 
<2023-02-03T08:59:57.000Z> graf: 😞
<2023-02-07T06:38:36.000Z> em: Havee you been eating well ?  I had pasta (again) for dinnnner... && Dan, I honestly do my best never to lie, so you should know . 
<2023-02-07T06:38:59.000Z> em: tbh we never got to ever game enooughhh and now I barely get the time
<2023-02-07T06:39:00.000Z> em: lol
<2023-02-07T06:39:01.000Z> graf: if you do then talk to me more please and thank you
<2023-02-07T06:39:06.000Z> graf: you never have time for me im crying
<2023-02-07T06:39:38.000Z> em: I dont have time for myself, lol, my kids at that age 
<2023-02-07T06:39:50.000Z> em: so hush hush
<2023-02-07T06:39:51.000Z> em: lol
<2023-02-07T06:40:41.000Z> graf: not even once a day to say nice things to me
<2023-02-07T06:40:43.000Z> graf: :(
<2023-02-07T06:40:45.000Z> graf: its fine i undersdtand
<2023-02-07T06:41:12.000Z> em: If I'm online,  I shall say helloo
<2023-02-07T06:41:17.000Z> em: =)
<2023-02-07T06:41:42.000Z> graf: you better promise or else
<2023-02-07T06:42:00.000Z> em: /hows thee start of le week going?  an I promise
<2023-02-07T06:42:10.000Z> graf: sad and lonely 
<2023-02-07T06:42:11.000Z> graf: come over
<2023-02-07T06:42:23.000Z> em: stop being sad n lonely 
<2023-02-07T06:44:48.000Z> graf: haha if it was that easy I would have 
<2023-02-07T06:44:51.000Z> graf: 😞
<2023-02-07T07:30:03.000Z> em: i wish it was just that easy 
<2023-02-07T08:13:56.000Z> graf: pls don't forget me 
<2023-02-12T03:26:26.000Z> em: I highly doubt I can do that 
<2023-02-12T03:26:28.000Z> em: haha
<2023-02-12T03:26:32.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-02-12T03:26:35.000Z> graf: I miss you 
<2023-02-12T03:26:35.000Z> graf: hi
<2023-02-12T03:26:39.000Z> em: hey hey 
<2023-02-12T03:26:43.000Z> graf: I love you miss you what are you doing 
<2023-02-12T03:27:40.000Z> em: Miss you, hows everything ? ---- I am just sitting in pain trying to think if gaming will help or something to distract ,, waaa
<2023-02-12T03:28:01.000Z> em: also also, I sends love back your way too 
<2023-02-12T03:28:42.000Z> graf: what's wrong 
<2023-02-12T03:28:58.000Z> graf: also you are the only person who's ever told me they loved me that I genuinely believe meant it 
<2023-02-12T03:29:02.000Z> graf: 😩
<2023-02-12T03:33:54.000Z> em: You feeling down on yourself again tonight Dan? I'm sorry things are rough emotionally ...  I do mean what I say.  I cared for you deeply, I still care about you, I cant say Ive met anyone like you, youre a unique oddball  even tho youre rather normal in many ways too:P and I mean that with love/    as for me, I think I have sciatica... I want to go to the hospital .. I havent had a moments peace, feels like childbirth but my back, and I hate drs and usually cant feel pain so im in cry baby mode
<2023-02-12T03:34:50.000Z> em: you already know id rather die than go to a hospital tho 
<2023-02-12T03:34:55.000Z> em: so idk what to do :(
<2023-02-12T03:36:13.000Z> graf: im always feeling down on myself. maybe one day I will tell you about it but I am on my own again and I realize I made a mistake with you but I won't bother you with my emotional shit. what have you tried? on/off hot and cold??
<2023-02-12T03:41:32.000Z> em: See that bothers me, because youve got no reason to be... at least from everything I have learned being around you ... well, as much as I can say that, since I havent been "around you" ---- anyway, I know how to judge people, and yes youre kinda an asshole at times, but its like specific shit, and yes you hurt me pretty fuckin bad, but the fact I wanted to keep you as a friend should say something.  I never had intentions of using you, but I am aware youre a useful person, and Ive learned quite a bit from just ;being' around' lol an I hope I can learn more if we can actually .. be friends, because as of right now,  I still feel like im in the wrong place/ wrong time . idk , and as far as your past relationship, its not really  bother, but I wont pressure you into explaining your mistake , self awareness is a beautiful thing... sometimes we gotta go thru absolute shit to truly understand bits of life 
<2023-02-12T03:41:32.000Z> graf: coming to idaho rn 
<2023-02-12T03:41:57.000Z> em: && Ive tried that,yes 
<2023-02-12T03:42:04.000Z> em: lol hideyyy-ho 
<2023-02-12T03:42:41.000Z> graf: my mistake was not trying to fix my relationship with you. that's what I meant sorry 
<2023-02-12T03:43:55.000Z> em: Oh.  no sorry needed. I am probably not clear in the head 100% rn lol
<2023-02-12T03:44:13.000Z> em: Yeah I dont know why everything ended as it did
<2023-02-12T03:44:21.000Z> em: stressful times for us both 
<2023-02-12T03:44:31.000Z> em: Depression, misery does a lot to a person
<2023-02-12T03:44:38.000Z> em: we both know that story 
<2023-02-12T03:45:07.000Z> em: I will always support you Dan, an be here for you
<2023-02-12T03:45:21.000Z> em: wait thats the same thing lol
<2023-02-12T03:45:54.000Z> graf: I just wanted to be with you in a time it seemed like you didn't have time for me that's all 
<2023-02-12T03:46:39.000Z> graf: maybe one day you will let me fix it 
<2023-02-12T03:48:45.000Z> graf: 519-240-0291 
<2023-02-12T03:48:52.000Z> graf: ❤️
<2023-02-12T04:04:04.000Z> em: yeah, I have a lot to juggle, always :/  Its why i feel like I really fail when it comes to people/ relationships .. but thats also why I want friends, or to be in a relationship but it seems no matter what I am actually alone....   its funny, I try never to let myself get down, or even think of things that bother me, but hiding from the truth leads to sumthinnn worse down the line (aka breakdowns right?) pain makes me wanna just tack on everything else thats wrong...  but honestly now im just rambling :/  
<2023-02-12T04:04:41.000Z> em: I don't know the future, and I become more unsure about it with every day that passes...
<2023-02-12T04:04:50.000Z> em: but maybe thats not a bad thing 
<2023-02-12T04:05:19.000Z> em: I do miss you :/   you come up in conversation still 
<2023-02-12T04:05:56.000Z> em: Youve left an impression , one of the few to  actually make me feel better about  myself
<2023-02-12T04:06:04.000Z> em: I never believe anyone
<2023-02-12T04:06:14.000Z> em: ok sorry for all the text 
<2023-02-12T04:06:21.000Z> graf: don't say sorry 
<2023-02-12T04:06:29.000Z> graf: what do you mean you never believe anyone 
<2023-02-12T04:06:42.000Z> graf: did I give you some reason to not believe me? I hope not 
<2023-02-12T04:07:58.000Z> em: people will say anything, or compliment, idk , Im used to certain things, and for the most part, its like people being nice, or fishing, or something far from genuine, idk,  but you have said things that stuck... and I didn't take as fake or one of the above
<2023-02-12T04:09:13.000Z> em: I think that makes sense
<2023-02-12T04:09:17.000Z> em: yeah
<2023-02-12T04:11:04.000Z> graf: it's okay. you don't come online often maybe u will text instead 
<2023-02-12T04:11:05.000Z> graf: ❤️
<2023-02-12T04:11:37.000Z> em: I am trying to, Ive been doing better
<2023-02-12T04:12:02.000Z> em: will help a lot I am stuck in my seat for lord knows how long now
<2023-02-12T04:12:14.000Z> em: also I am thinking I want to learn internet again
<2023-02-12T04:12:40.000Z> em: && funny timing, I just entered your number 
<2023-02-12T04:15:28.000Z> graf: you should enter it and send a message 🤭
<2023-02-13T18:36:44.000Z> em: My phone died, and I dont wanna go downstairs to face my mother right now 
<2023-02-13T18:37:01.000Z> em: so so Ill text ya again when I canss
<2023-02-13T18:42:41.000Z> graf: okei did you figure out matrix?
<2023-02-13T18:42:50.000Z> graf: I figure vc while playing game is eaiser than holding a phone lol
<2023-04-02T20:42:46.000Z> em: Dan, I'm sorry I ghost , you wouldn't believe the bs these past few months.  Starting with the wild dreams. Should have known something was up :/ 
<2023-04-02T20:43:01.000Z> em: I needed to step away because honestly I had a huge text written out to you I couldn't send 
<2023-04-02T20:43:08.000Z> em: Being very unfair to myself and you 
<2023-04-02T20:43:32.000Z> em: There's so much I honestly can and can't say , but anyway  
<2023-04-02T20:43:46.000Z> em: Constantly feel between a rock and a hard place 
<2023-04-02T21:52:35.000Z> graf: it hurts but its fine. whats best for you is what i want
<2023-04-02T22:43:40.000Z> em: Can I tell you a secret 
<2023-04-02T22:43:49.000Z> graf: yes always
<2023-04-02T22:44:26.000Z> em: I keep fighting between wanting to kill myself and wanting to disappear, like, completely
<2023-04-02T22:44:37.000Z> em: I don't know where it comes from 
<2023-04-02T22:44:59.000Z> graf: post partum mixed with underlying depression will do that
<2023-04-02T22:45:25.000Z> em: I don't wanna be doomed to hell but I also don't want to be alone even though I have "people" ... But I feel entirely alone and the guilt won't let me be 
<2023-04-02T22:45:33.000Z> em: Idk what to do 
<2023-04-02T22:46:11.000Z> em: I'm so tired and even if what I wanted , more or less I have ... I still feel so empty 
<2023-04-02T22:46:39.000Z> em: It's eating at me , more so now than ever 
<2023-04-02T22:48:16.000Z> em: I've never really had support in my life    ... And when I did, it was from my father , even though we never really talked ... But I felt it with him ... No one in my family has the ability to talk...and I need it but idk how .  
<2023-04-02T22:49:19.000Z> em: :/ I feel like you're the only one who .. understands daddy issues. .. so I can admit this .. easier but I still feel stupid 
<2023-04-02T22:50:21.000Z> em: Sofia was the highlight of my life but since the situation I was in she never got close to me like I assumed a daughter would with a mother but I'm still struggling to feel needed ... She would rather attach to anyone else and I can't cope anymore 
<2023-04-02T22:51:06.000Z> em: :/ she fell asleep next to me for the first time ever the other night and woke up screaming when she realized she did and left in such a huff and now I'm back to square one rejection and depression 
<2023-04-02T22:51:08.000Z> em: Ugh
<2023-04-02T22:51:28.000Z> graf: she's getting older, i can understand wanting attention from others. im not a girl tho so i dont know how truthful that is but women are attention seeking by nature lol
<2023-04-02T22:51:45.000Z> em: The thing is, it was never with me ever , only others 
<2023-04-02T22:51:55.000Z> em: But yes
<2023-04-02T22:51:56.000Z> em: True 
<2023-04-02T22:52:23.000Z> graf: i dont know if kids are capable of holding grudges that young, maybe you did something to piss her off lol
<2023-04-02T22:52:30.000Z> graf: i dont mean to laugh
<2023-04-02T22:52:30.000Z> em: :/ which makes me wonder what's wrong with me as a woman. I should act out for attention but I'm ashamed when I even get it ... Idk 
<2023-04-02T22:52:33.000Z> em: Yeah 
<2023-04-02T22:52:35.000Z> em: No it's ok
<2023-04-02T22:52:37.000Z> graf: im laughing because its weird 
<2023-04-02T22:52:45.000Z> em: It is... My life aha
<2023-04-02T22:52:47.000Z> em: Weird 
<2023-04-02T22:53:33.000Z> em: I'm just so tired of it all, I want normal and I'll never get it because I never had it. How do I create something I've never had and don't understand 
<2023-04-02T22:54:39.000Z> em: I feel like nothing would change if I disappeared....  But maybe I'd be better alone for real ..  if that makes sense 
<2023-04-02T22:55:23.000Z> em: It's selfish 
<2023-04-02T22:55:37.000Z> graf: the thought process does but you feeling better doesnt and it wont. you will just shift from "whats normal" to "how to i get back" and thats something way worse then where you are right now
<2023-04-02T22:56:21.000Z> em: hmph. So no to faking my death:/ 
<2023-04-02T22:56:25.000Z> em: 'lol'. 
<2023-04-02T22:56:58.000Z> graf: no sorry but you have people like me who have been waiting and trying to help you. maybe you should not try to do things on your own like this 
<2023-04-02T22:58:34.000Z> em: I still struggle to understand why you care for me :/   I feel terrible every time I come to you because I know on some level I shouldn't:/  
<2023-04-02T22:58:47.000Z> em: I don't know if it's the distance or something I haven't figured out yet 
<2023-04-02T22:59:35.000Z> em: I'm thankful for it , for you, but I feel it feeds what selfishness I have even though I think I'm rather good at trying not to be .. 😭 idk what I'm thinking anymore or whats right or wrong 
<2023-04-02T23:00:33.000Z> graf: i dont think wanting someone to care about you and someone to keep you sane is being selfish, i think if anything the opposite is true and that not wanting that is selfish 
<2023-04-02T23:02:47.000Z> em: My poor little brain right now ...
<2023-04-02T23:03:28.000Z> em: Thank you for responding to me , when I have been so poor at being around 
<2023-04-02T23:04:32.000Z> graf: i think instead of trying to overanalyze everything like you always do, you should instead just turn your brain off. i know it sounds hard but if you dont want help thats fine and i can respect that but for your sake and as well your family's sake take up a hobby or something. something that makes you feel fulfilled. learn something like culinary art type stuff, or teach yourself to knit or paint something. all of this stuff will help you take your mind off always thinking the end is near and will absolutely improve your quality of life
<2023-04-02T23:06:24.000Z> em: I actually have been trying.  . . Hobby wise ..  but as far as turning off my brain ... I haven't been able to do that since pre depression around eleven...  Perhaps I should try to work on that too 
<2023-04-02T23:07:03.000Z> graf: i honestly believe if you find something that occupies your mind you wont have many issues. idle hands are the devils play thing 
<2023-04-02T23:07:21.000Z> em: :/ I found a physical therapist... And she literally told me my stresss is deformed me and my ability to even breathe .. so I have been working on that .. but it's funny. Just knowing it has upped my stress levels. I am driving myself crazy 
<2023-04-02T23:07:54.000Z> graf: no offence but thats a woman moment
<2023-04-02T23:07:54.000Z> em: .. what to do .. I don't know if I have any skills lol
<2023-04-02T23:07:57.000Z> em: LOL
<2023-04-02T23:08:11.000Z> em: A biological fail
<2023-04-02T23:08:51.000Z> em: If reincarnation is a thing, I pray I can spend the next life on mount Athos. Peaceful without women 😂
<2023-04-02T23:09:53.000Z> em: ( I watch that documentary every time I get depressed and it just makes me more depressed) Lord help me
<2023-04-02T23:10:56.000Z> graf: no you're not a fail at all. you are just dealing with everything yourself and because it works for you, you subconsciously push people away who are genuinely trying to help which makes it worse. you arent the only person ive known who has done this after child birth. if you think you're bad now feeling how you do about her seemingly not wanting to be around you wait until she's a teenager. it's gonna be way worse if we dont help curb it now tbh
<2023-04-02T23:11:21.000Z> em: I've done it my whole life unfortunately 
<2023-04-02T23:11:49.000Z> em: Child birth actually helped until I realized I did something wrong somehow somewhere 
<2023-04-02T23:11:51.000Z> em: But eh
<2023-04-02T23:12:07.000Z> em: And you're right 
<2023-04-02T23:12:16.000Z> em: That thought terrifies me
<2023-04-02T23:12:23.000Z> em: A teenager daughter 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
<2023-04-02T23:12:35.000Z> graf: i dont think you did something wrong
<2023-04-02T23:12:53.000Z> em: I'm not exactly good with women, maybe it was sensed 
<2023-04-02T23:13:08.000Z> em: But maybe you're right. Maybe I did nothing 
<2023-04-02T23:13:10.000Z> em: Idk 
<2023-04-02T23:13:32.000Z> graf: i think its just one of those moods that will pass over time
<2023-04-02T23:13:34.000Z> graf: moody kids
<2023-04-02T23:13:43.000Z> em: I hope so 
<2023-04-02T23:14:16.000Z> em: I know she loves me, I just wish she was closer especially when I need love so badly sometimes
<2023-04-02T23:19:50.000Z> graf: well if you ever need it you know I do
<2023-04-02T23:21:59.000Z> em: I am sorry 😔 but I do love you back , I wish it was different than it was , but alas , life is ... Um well. Baloney. Ha
<2023-04-02T23:23:44.000Z> graf: life is what you make it. maybe your happiness should come first for a while 
<2023-04-03T19:18:50.000Z> em: I don't even know what that would be like 
<2023-04-03T19:19:02.000Z> em: I've lost interest in everything 
<2023-04-03T19:19:09.000Z> em: But enough about that :/
<2023-04-03T19:19:49.000Z> em: Sorry I went to bed , my jaws pain is unreal and unfortunately I sleep on my face which just makes it worse and the cycle repeats lmao
<2023-04-03T19:20:35.000Z> em: What have you been up to ? Distract me with your life pls 
<2023-04-03T21:58:48.000Z> graf: tomorrow is my birthday 
<2023-04-03T21:58:57.000Z> graf: wish I had someone to spend it with heh 
<2023-04-05T01:22:11.000Z> em: I literally just saw the date and came here to wish you happy birthday 
<2023-04-05T01:22:22.000Z> em: I hope you had the goodest birthday 🎂
<2023-04-05T01:22:27.000Z> em: Did you do anything special?
<2023-04-05T01:25:13.000Z> graf: yeah I had detectives outside my house all day because someone is/was actively trying to kill me 
<2023-04-05T01:25:19.000Z> graf: that's my birthday this year 
<2023-04-05T01:33:05.000Z> em: Oh 😳 
<2023-04-05T01:33:16.000Z> em: I add you to prayers tonight. 
<2023-04-05T01:33:46.000Z> em: Ps. Pls be safe with whatever you choose as far as gf. I want you happy and to make cute babies. But mostly happy. 
<2023-04-05T01:33:54.000Z> em: :/ ❤️ :) 
<2023-04-05T01:34:19.000Z> graf: I just don't want to be alone 
<2023-04-06T02:29:53.000Z> em: Yeah, I do understand that 
<2023-04-06T02:30:01.000Z> graf: i told her to leave me alone
<2023-04-06T02:30:18.000Z> em: But the last time I even started dating for that being the reason alone , all I found were toxic people:/ 
<2023-04-06T02:30:39.000Z> graf: u were lonely when you clung onto me
<2023-04-06T02:30:44.000Z> graf: so was i
<2023-04-06T02:30:46.000Z> graf: i dont think that was toxic
<2023-04-06T02:30:52.000Z> graf: its actually probably the one time i felt loved by someone
<2023-04-06T02:31:06.000Z> em: It's like there's a vibe that only attracts unhealthy :/ 
<2023-04-06T02:32:38.000Z> em: But what do I know lol I put myself into situations similar most my adult life>.< 
<2023-04-06T02:34:54.000Z> graf: shh stop
<2023-04-06T02:34:56.000Z> graf: i want to talk to you
<2023-04-06T02:36:24.000Z> em: You're gonna laugh, but uh, I picked up Sofia and pitched a nerve and pulled something in my back and I'm in and out of sleep cuz pain lol but if you're fine with in and out of conversation I can try to check my phone more 
<2023-04-06T02:36:40.000Z> em: Pinched * 
<2023-04-06T02:36:53.000Z> graf: i waited like two weeks from the last time i text you to hear from you
<2023-04-06T02:36:57.000Z> graf: im sure ill be fine for a couple hours
<2023-04-06T02:38:03.000Z> em: Yeah I pretty much have been struggling with the fact of if we should talk or not 
<2023-04-06T02:38:13.000Z> graf: why would you even think not?
<2023-04-06T02:38:13.000Z> em: Lol
<2023-04-06T02:38:17.000Z> graf: i hang on your every word
<2023-04-06T02:40:25.000Z> em: Mental health wise? And I mean , would we carry conversation when you are in a relationship again? 
<2023-04-06T02:40:38.000Z> graf: but im not going to me
<2023-04-06T02:40:39.000Z> graf: be
<2023-04-06T02:40:42.000Z> graf: i told her to leave me alone
<2023-04-06T02:40:49.000Z> graf: what else do i hve lol
<2023-04-06T02:41:47.000Z> em: I think good things would come your way if you had any true belief in it 
<2023-04-06T02:41:51.000Z> em: That's what makes me sad 
<2023-04-06T02:42:25.000Z> graf: i had everything i wanted already 
<2023-04-06T02:42:54.000Z> em: Then you have it again 
<2023-04-06T02:43:05.000Z> em: Make it happen again 
<2023-04-06T02:43:18.000Z> graf: how. you are on the fence with even wanting to talk to me 
<2023-04-08T17:29:15.000Z> em: Because I feel emotionally safe with you 
<2023-04-08T17:29:27.000Z> em: I suppose that scares me 
<2023-04-08T17:30:17.000Z> em: You've hurt me badly yet I feel safe talking to you , it's confusing to say the least. But you know how to respond to me , especially when I'm having dark days. That is something I've yet to really experience with other humans lol 
<2023-04-08T17:30:52.000Z> em: Actually was sitting here eating crackers and I started to think about that, and wondering exactly why that is, so here I am, responding lol 
<2023-04-08T17:31:42.000Z> em: Speaking of Dan, personality and what not..... By chance did you ever take that MBTI test, I think I brought it up years ago but I don't remember if you ever responded lol. I'd be ever so curious 🤨
<2023-04-08T18:49:16.000Z> graf: I don't think I did because I don't know what mbti even means I'm sorry
<2023-04-09T01:53:42.000Z> graf: come back.
<2023-04-16T04:18:47.000Z> em: Back back 
<2023-04-16T04:18:53.000Z> graf: hi emma
<2023-04-16T04:18:57.000Z> graf: i miss you a lot a lot
<2023-04-16T04:18:59.000Z> em: Personality test!
<2023-04-16T04:19:04.000Z> em: Hi hi 
<2023-04-16T04:19:07.000Z> em: Miss you too 
<2023-04-16T04:19:10.000Z> em: How are you!
<2023-04-16T04:19:14.000Z> graf: im sad and drinking 
<2023-04-16T04:19:17.000Z> graf: its midnight im lonely
<2023-04-16T04:19:19.000Z> graf: come over 
<2023-04-16T04:19:22.000Z> graf: you can fix me and ill fix you
<2023-04-16T04:19:28.000Z> em: What you drinking 
<2023-04-16T04:19:33.000Z> graf: beer like always
<2023-04-16T04:19:49.000Z> em: Don't be lonely , you haz friends and stuff like here for you all the time 
<2023-04-16T04:19:56.000Z> graf: but i want to talk to you
<2023-04-16T04:20:12.000Z> em: I am unfixable, but we can always talk lolWhat have you been up to ? 
<2023-04-16T04:20:30.000Z> em: I'm in the car headed back from an njp type thingy
<2023-04-16T04:20:31.000Z> graf: no you're not. you think you are because you haven't ever experienced the love and support of someone who wants to see the best you
<2023-04-16T04:20:38.000Z> graf: hope you had a good time
<2023-04-16T04:20:39.000Z> em: Kinda hyped kinda half asleep 
<2023-04-16T04:21:38.000Z> em: I have, but I'm also , like as you know, extremely good at rejecting it and also I think I discovered why I was warned about seasonal depression, I'm still stressed and sad but I'm not as bad ... 
<2023-04-16T04:21:45.000Z> em: But like 
<2023-04-16T04:22:06.000Z> em: I had a good time. I haven't seen anyone friend wise since last year , mid year or something 
<2023-04-16T04:22:40.000Z> graf: im glad you could have that
<2023-04-16T04:22:51.000Z> em: I forgot what it was like to like, laugh with a group. Isolation is a major killer 
<2023-04-16T04:22:55.000Z> graf: you are a social creature and would flourish if you were around people more
<2023-04-16T04:23:06.000Z> em: I know :/ 
<2023-04-16T04:24:01.000Z> graf: i just want you to be happy. i want the best for you
<2023-04-16T04:33:42.000Z> em: Well, I feel exactly the same :) 
<2023-04-16T04:34:45.000Z> graf: one day it might happen but i dont have high hopes like i do for you
<2023-04-16T04:35:26.000Z> em: I do hope you've been better. I honestly feel bad about what I said last time , cuz I hope you do find happiness, and I think you could have been just upset at your ex because it doesn't seem like you guys would have lasted that long , if you weren't happy for most of it , right ? 
<2023-04-16T04:35:45.000Z> graf: not happy like you made me feel 
<2023-04-16T04:56:02.000Z> em: :/ I doubt I did honestly, but we just have a good out of relationship relationship lol 
<2023-04-16T04:56:23.000Z> graf: sorry
<2023-04-16T04:56:33.000Z> em: I knew honestly that down the line we could be friends and not have hard feelings 
<2023-04-16T04:56:39.000Z> em: Why are you sorry !!
<2023-04-16T04:57:36.000Z> graf: because i am still here because i want it to work
<2023-04-16T04:58:59.000Z> em: I cant really imagine you not around however strange in a way it must be 
<2023-04-16T04:59:12.000Z> graf: thats why i was apologizing 
<2023-04-16T04:59:21.000Z> em: I can't explain why I feel close / can talk to you about just about anything 
<2023-04-16T04:59:25.000Z> em: But it is what it is 
<2023-04-16T04:59:46.000Z> em: Don't apologize if it's strange for you too lol then it's fair 
<2023-04-16T04:59:55.000Z> graf: its not strange
<2023-04-16T05:00:01.000Z> graf: im here because i want to be with you
<2023-04-16T05:13:52.000Z> em: It's the only reason though? 
<2023-04-16T05:14:09.000Z> em: Cuz that would make me sad but it's understandable I suppose 
<2023-04-16T05:21:14.000Z> graf: no i mean i care about you
<2023-04-16T05:21:24.000Z> graf: but i just hang off what you say to me because i want things to go back to how they were
<2023-04-16T05:21:30.000Z> graf: im not going to pretend i dont want it
<2023-04-16T05:43:29.000Z> em: I don't want you to hang off what I say , and I obviously care about you too :/ but I can't say anything can go back to how it was because so much has changed mmm this is why I felt guilty coming to you , even though honestly you learned how to best talk to me, if you still have such feelings it's bad for me to come for a form comfort right ? :/ Because you're not taking it 'friendly' 😔
<2023-04-16T05:43:59.000Z> graf: i am taking it friendly but its beating me to death 
<2023-04-16T05:44:07.000Z> graf: im fine with that but i will help you
<2023-04-16T05:46:09.000Z> em: That makes me feel horrible:( I don't want that for you 
<2023-04-16T05:46:11.000Z> em: It's cruel 
<2023-04-16T05:46:16.000Z> graf: stop
<2023-04-16T05:46:28.000Z> graf: taking away the small bit of happiness i have is more cruel
<2023-04-16T05:49:12.000Z> em: :( well, point made 
<2023-04-16T05:49:42.000Z> em: Ughh 
<2023-04-16T05:49:56.000Z> graf: there is nothing that you can say or do that will ever make me not be in love with you. i will take that feeling to my grave. whether you choose to accept it or not is up to you
<2023-04-16T05:49:58.000Z> em: sooo um, did you ever own a furby? 
<2023-04-16T05:50:02.000Z> graf: never
<2023-04-16T05:50:10.000Z> em: // random
<2023-04-16T06:07:14.000Z> em: Mmmm
<2023-04-16T06:07:25.000Z> em: Your reply was slow to show 
<2023-04-16T06:07:30.000Z> em: Weird 
<2023-04-16T06:07:39.000Z> graf: i responded right away, might have been a caching issue. im sorry
<2023-04-16T06:07:45.000Z> em: Well I found one at a thrift store and no surprise it doesn't work lol
<2023-04-16T06:07:47.000Z> graf: i will try to make my website better for you 
<2023-04-16T06:07:55.000Z> graf: you can fix it easily
<2023-04-16T06:08:14.000Z> em: So I'm gonna see if I can teach myself to fix it. :) 
<2023-04-16T06:08:33.000Z> graf: i will help you as best i can but you will have to send me jpegs
<2023-04-16T06:08:35.000Z> em: I haven't taken apart anything to put it back together in years 😈 
<2023-04-16T06:10:16.000Z> em: Oh your other message showed .. 
<2023-04-16T06:10:31.000Z> graf: hi emma
<2023-04-16T06:13:32.000Z> em: Ahhhh well, I guess we will see with time, because I have faith you will find someone who makes you happy , I can feel it and you can love me , like I believe most men love their exs, because you're wired to, but someday, a woman is going to hold your baby and she will be the most important love.. and you will be happy. I feel it.  You are so unique, and have a lot to offer :) really  You'll see. 
<2023-04-16T06:18:17.000Z> graf: men love their exes because men actually experience love. women dont 
<2023-04-16T06:20:08.000Z> em: I do believe this to a degree, meaning there's always exceptions
<2023-04-16T06:21:04.000Z> em: Ahhh it must have crashed 😭 because it shows up, but not when I send hahah
<2023-04-16T06:21:26.000Z> graf: there is no exceptions
<2023-04-16T06:21:58.000Z> graf: i was so in love with you i moved myself out of my own comfort zone to be sexual with you on phone. something i would have never done and will never do
<2023-04-16T06:22:05.000Z> graf: i did things for you i will never do for someone else 
<2023-04-16T06:22:19.000Z> graf: i think about it every day thats how much it meant to me
<2023-04-16T06:22:37.000Z> em: No worries though, as for the furby , idk I'm kinda excited to see if I can 😀 I wanted one my whole life , I'm super thrilled to get the banned thing working lol
<2023-04-16T06:26:21.000Z> em: You don't honestly think I loved you madly too! It was the same deal for me to act so out of character 
<2023-04-16T06:26:44.000Z> em: It's why it kills me talking now , but somehow , I can't stay away 
<2023-04-16T06:27:15.000Z> em: Even if I wanna keep it friendly it's for the sake of what I'm trying to build now and not get my heart and mind so mixed up (too late)
<2023-04-16T06:27:22.000Z> graf: i dont know why you have guards up against me. i tried to do everything for you. i wanted so badly to feed you and take care of you i tried my best to do it 
<2023-04-16T06:27:23.000Z> em: 😩 anyway shhhhh 
<2023-04-16T06:36:29.000Z> graf: okay ill shut up. i love you and i hope nothing but the best happens for you. i love you forever emma
<2023-04-16T14:59:35.000Z> em: I fell asleepyyyy
<2023-04-16T15:00:30.000Z> em: no need to shut up .. I just am the one who's more shy at this point 
<2023-04-16T15:01:25.000Z> em: && you know well enough, I'll always have love for you / love you as well
<2023-04-16T15:01:31.000Z> em: Good morning 🌞 
<2023-04-16T18:43:32.000Z> graf: hi good morning 
<2023-04-17T14:30:36.000Z> em: Good morning 
<2023-04-17T14:30:40.000Z> em: 😊
<2023-04-17T14:30:54.000Z> em: How are you doing today!
<2023-04-17T19:37:01.000Z> graf: not well
<2023-04-17T23:52:40.000Z> em: hope you feel better also
<2023-04-18T02:20:07.000Z> graf: nope but im trying 
<2023-04-19T01:51:40.000Z> em: I've been sleeping like 20 hours a day . but I'm trying to 
<2023-04-19T01:51:43.000Z> em: Meh 
<2023-04-19T01:51:48.000Z> em: Hii 
<2023-04-21T14:32:32.000Z> em: Happy for new opportunity ^-^ 
<2023-04-21T14:32:41.000Z> em: Sorry for lately 
<2023-04-21T14:32:46.000Z> em: Ok bye ❤️
<2023-04-21T14:32:51.000Z> graf: :(
<2023-04-21T14:33:13.000Z> em: No smile!! 
<2023-04-21T14:33:17.000Z> em: :) 
<2023-04-21T19:49:32.000Z> graf: im sad
<2023-04-21T20:42:32.000Z> graf: also horny 
<2023-04-21T20:54:19.000Z> graf: very 
<2023-04-21T22:16:03.000Z> em: Sad & horny is very weird but common together. 
<2023-04-21T22:16:11.000Z> em: Never understood this 
<2023-04-21T22:16:35.000Z> em: 😕😪 
<2023-04-21T22:17:05.000Z> em: I wish it didn't exist lol 😞
<2023-04-21T22:18:56.000Z> graf: i almost said something dirty to u
<2023-04-21T22:18:58.000Z> graf: but i stopped myself
<2023-04-21T22:19:00.000Z> graf: wyd
<2023-04-21T22:57:03.000Z> em: Rare trait to control the hornt 
<2023-04-21T22:57:33.000Z> graf: I wish I didn't 
<2023-04-21T22:57:57.000Z> em: I'm laying in bed , I wanna nap but I am having high BP ...lol and I found this stupid psychic thing  I'm trying to talk myself out of spending money on lmao 
<2023-04-21T22:58:06.000Z> em: I want to choose between this or paying for RuneScape again 
<2023-04-21T22:58:10.000Z> em: facebook.com/100069875719376/posts/520208220318364/?sfnsn=mo&mibextid=6aamW6
<2023-04-21T22:58:13.000Z> em: Lmfaoooo 
<2023-04-21T22:58:36.000Z> graf: pay for runscape and send me tummy instead 👍🏻
<2023-04-21T22:58:39.000Z> em: I kek but what if it shows me someone I know :o
<2023-04-21T22:59:03.000Z> em: Helps me with my decisions ( I suck at those ) 
<2023-04-21T22:59:19.000Z> em: Mmph.  I do miss RuneScape time wasting 
<2023-04-21T23:00:01.000Z> graf: when have I ever made a decision for you that was wrong. never. remember when I had to convince you to let me buy you and your mom dinner and it was great? runscape will be great like that 
<2023-04-21T23:01:44.000Z> em: Hahahaha you're making point that's good 
<2023-04-21T23:02:00.000Z> em: :)
<2023-04-21T23:02:17.000Z> em: I miss you. Ty for all those meals too
<2023-04-21T23:02:31.000Z> graf: that Facebook link is just a cheap gimmick. someone who has art skill generating commissions when they can't get them any other way 
<2023-04-21T23:02:37.000Z> graf: you know better in your heart 
<2023-04-21T23:02:41.000Z> graf: I miss you 
<2023-04-21T23:03:07.000Z> em: I don't know it says money back guaranteed lmao 
<2023-04-21T23:03:12.000Z> em: Hahahaha but fair 
<2023-04-21T23:03:29.000Z> em: Both are $30 ( because I owe RuneScape otherwise I would only be like 10 -_- ) 
<2023-04-21T23:03:49.000Z> em: I forgot that I was paying for it I'm lucky that they only had me paid for it for 3 months before they canceled from inactivity or something I'm assuming 
<2023-04-21T23:03:55.000Z> em: But it won't even let me sign on to the free lmao
<2023-04-21T23:04:14.000Z> em: Meep (: how's your day been ?
<2023-04-21T23:04:30.000Z> graf: do u want to use my credit card to pay it 
<2023-04-21T23:04:31.000Z> graf: it's okay 
<2023-04-21T23:07:39.000Z> em: Haha I'm looking for my card, if I get desperate enough/ not find it 😭  but I know I had my purse like two weeks ago lmao 
<2023-04-21T23:07:51.000Z> em: I tried to leave the house. Bad idea.  
<2023-04-21T23:07:53.000Z> em: 😆 
<2023-04-21T23:07:54.000Z> graf: you know I would do anything for you 
<2023-04-21T23:08:31.000Z> em: I know 😊 but you don't need to pay for my RS lmaooooo it's bad enough I still think about it 😂 
<2023-04-21T23:09:33.000Z> graf: I just want to make you happy sorry 
<2023-04-21T23:24:43.000Z> em: Don't be sorry for being nice , or wanting to be nice
<2023-04-21T23:24:49.000Z> em: I appreciate it 😊 
<2023-04-21T23:24:55.000Z> em: Really 🥺
<2023-04-21T23:25:23.000Z> graf: I just don't want you to feel like you have to entertain me. it's okay 
<2023-04-21T23:27:25.000Z> em: I'll never understand how you have haters or negativity that comes to you , blows my mind because you're literally a better human than an incredibly high percentage of people that is ever growing lmao and you don't get discouraged or change to spite anyone , it's really something 
<2023-04-21T23:31:08.000Z> graf: theres no other way to take us down so they do everything to hurt me instead but it's okay 
<2023-04-21T23:40:56.000Z> em: That's how it goes yes 
<2023-04-21T23:41:05.000Z> em: But it's not any less mind blowing to me 
<2023-04-21T23:41:31.000Z> graf: all that matters to me is I have people like you who think about me 
<2023-04-21T23:42:33.000Z> em: ❤️ best mindset 
<2023-04-21T23:43:05.000Z> graf: I miss you a lot 
<2023-04-21T23:43:16.000Z> graf: thinking about that video you sent me with oil and tummy 
<2023-04-21T23:43:18.000Z> graf: 😳
<2023-04-21T23:48:58.000Z> em: Lol, your memory surprises me , even though I know mine is beyond terrible I still think yours is better than most hahaha
<2023-04-21T23:49:06.000Z> em: Coconut oil is 👑
<2023-04-21T23:49:16.000Z> em: I miss you too 
<2023-04-21T23:49:28.000Z> graf: it was hot 
<2023-04-21T23:49:30.000Z> graf: its forever in my mind
<2023-04-21T23:49:37.000Z> graf: just like all the other stuff you did to be intimate with me
<2023-04-21T23:49:40.000Z> graf: i didnt deserve youi
<2023-04-21T23:49:42.000Z> em: I'm happy to be here :) 
<2023-04-21T23:53:01.000Z> graf: i hope so
<2023-04-21T23:53:04.000Z> graf: miss that a lot too
<2023-04-22T00:16:47.000Z> em: :(
<2023-04-22T00:16:56.000Z> graf: why frown
<2023-04-22T00:18:52.000Z> em: Don't get all sad on me over the past. We have future of here and now (yeah doesn't make sense but go with it ) but seriously, living back there , not healthy for brain. Living now better :) I didn't really know how I'd react years later but turns out that I don't see drifting apart so just be happy for now that internet exists and poast cuz you made it , cuz were all able to chat and be together in these ridiculous times of life yay! 
<2023-04-22T00:19:25.000Z> graf: but im happy where i am. i like to think about it
<2023-04-22T00:19:29.000Z> graf: i would do that with you again in a heartbeat
<2023-04-22T00:20:20.000Z> em: I'm trying out optimistim again, not easy , but better than opposite for me. Ha.  If it makes you not upset to think about more power to you ... I have an inability so I guess it just confuses me how that works :D 
<2023-04-22T00:21:14.000Z> em: I got called brain damaged the other way when j tried to explain my memory... And I'm starting to wonder if me hurting my head is like actually brain damage... But obviously I'm like ok but I find it so interesting that it could be the cause of something 
<2023-04-22T00:21:29.000Z> em: Day* 
<2023-04-22T00:21:40.000Z> em: Jeez I suck at text 😂
<2023-04-22T00:22:27.000Z> graf: i wouldnt want you any other way
<2023-04-22T00:22:28.000Z> graf: i love you how you are
<2023-04-22T00:22:32.000Z> graf: brain damage or bad memory or not
<2023-04-22T00:22:37.000Z> em: Don't think I don't think about our relationship/ or have moments I wish I could go back too, I do , I just don't let myself often for the sake of mental stability lol 
<2023-04-22T00:22:49.000Z> em: Love you back Dan :)
<2023-04-22T00:26:36.000Z> graf: do you mean that 
<2023-04-22T00:32:45.000Z> em: Yes I do
<2023-04-22T00:35:52.000Z> graf: time to go and get down on one knee i think
<2023-04-22T00:47:35.000Z> em: Shhhh 
<2023-04-22T00:48:24.000Z> em: But thank you for the smile 🙈
<2023-04-22T00:48:44.000Z> graf: u make me smile
<2023-04-22T03:50:32.000Z> em: ❤️ good :)
<2023-04-22T03:51:00.000Z> graf: is it okay that i think about our intimacy often. you didnt say
<2023-04-22T03:51:34.000Z> em: If it doesn't bring upset and brings happy, who am I to say. It's your memory and feelings no?
<2023-04-22T03:51:57.000Z> graf: i dont know some people dont like being sexualized but i like to think about it a lot
<2023-04-22T03:52:00.000Z> graf: ill try to stop
<2023-04-22T03:52:01.000Z> graf: im sorry
<2023-04-22T03:52:57.000Z> em: Quit being sorry 
<2023-04-22T03:52:59.000Z> em: 😡
<2023-04-22T03:53:05.000Z> graf: it turns me on 
<2023-04-22T03:53:10.000Z> graf: 😳 
<2023-04-22T03:53:51.000Z> em: Den you naughty :o
<2023-04-22T03:54:12.000Z> graf: yes i am. you pulled me out of my shell and made me do something i have never and will never do with anyone else ever again
<2023-04-22T03:54:43.000Z> em: We did that to each other 
<2023-04-22T03:54:58.000Z> em: Kinda unforgettable 
<2023-04-22T03:55:05.000Z> graf: i think about it literally every single day
<2023-04-22T03:56:04.000Z> em: 😪 den you had to go an find younger woman.  Kinda proud I'm not a bitter hag about it lmao 
<2023-04-22T03:56:19.000Z> em: What's funny is I don't forgive people 
<2023-04-22T03:56:32.000Z> em: Dunno why you're different 
<2023-04-22T03:56:34.000Z> graf: i would completely change my life to have what i had back. you have no idea
<2023-04-22T03:57:54.000Z> em: If anything is meant to be , only time will tell 
<2023-04-22T03:58:31.000Z> graf: what do you mean
<2023-04-22T04:00:30.000Z> em: I have to sort out many things, I honestly feel like I've been strapped in cinder blocks and pushed from a bridge but like I'm part mermaid I can breathe underwater but I'm still stuck 
<2023-04-22T04:01:09.000Z> graf: I can genuinely fix you and you know i can
<2023-04-22T04:01:19.000Z> em: I think certain things happen to me in my life for a reason , but I have not been smart enough to realize how to minimize my retarded nature in time to save my ass 
<2023-04-22T04:01:50.000Z> em: And even when I finally gained the strength, I'm put back in the corner / thrown back in the water
<2023-04-22T04:02:04.000Z> em: so I figure okay I'm drowning but I can breathe, and never figured I'd be saved so never bothered to save myself
<2023-04-22T04:02:25.000Z> em: I think you can there is truth to that, and I think we definitely have a connection that is ....
<2023-04-22T04:02:38.000Z> em: something I cannot explain. 
<2023-04-22T04:03:33.000Z> em: But timing, is the problem.  However , maybe its not the biggest issue or worry 
<2023-04-22T04:06:50.000Z> graf: what about timing
<2023-04-22T04:08:38.000Z> em: I'm working on the timing
<2023-04-22T04:09:03.000Z> em: I've been smacked upside the head with bad timing 
<2023-04-22T04:09:12.000Z> em: Basically 
<2023-04-22T04:09:40.000Z> graf: what do you mean, use your words woman
<2023-04-22T04:18:31.000Z> em: This past year is a lot to put in words :) 
<2023-04-22T04:18:48.000Z> em: & it makes me so mad at myself for multiple reasons 
<2023-04-22T04:19:11.000Z> em: Like unable to recognize myself but, I have a few months to figure it out better 
<2023-04-22T04:19:18.000Z> em: We should talk on the phone sometime 
<2023-04-22T04:19:30.000Z> graf: i wanted to so bad but you disappeared again
<2023-04-22T04:19:33.000Z> em: I got a TracFone from the government LOL and it covers Canada and Mexico 😈
<2023-04-22T04:19:46.000Z> graf: i will make time for you tomorrow if you will consider everything im saying tonight
<2023-04-22T04:20:21.000Z> em: so I can add your number on it and we can talk , I'm usually sleepy by like 10:00 or 11:00 p.m. so like, we'll figure something out if not tomorrow or the next day or something 
<2023-04-22T04:20:43.000Z> em: You understand why I ghost, when you understand the s*** show that is my life
<2023-04-22T04:20:59.000Z> em: But eh 
<2023-04-22T04:23:11.000Z> em: So unexpected to talk again like this, to find out you held feelings 
<2023-04-22T04:23:26.000Z> graf: you've known i have for years what do you mean
<2023-04-22T04:23:33.000Z> em: Sorry it took me a while to digest it 
<2023-04-22T04:23:37.000Z> em: Is what I mean 
<2023-04-22T04:23:42.000Z> em: Years? 
<2023-04-22T04:23:57.000Z> em: Just last year you had gf 
<2023-04-22T04:24:05.000Z> graf: literally years
<2023-04-22T04:24:11.000Z> em: But I was sure you were happy 
<2023-04-22T04:24:34.000Z> em: I'm good at ignoring things  μayve 
<2023-04-22T04:24:42.000Z> em: Maybe 
<2023-04-22T04:24:47.000Z> em: Hmph 
<2023-04-22T04:25:11.000Z> graf: i was begging you 
<2023-04-22T04:25:15.000Z> graf: i have been
<2023-04-22T04:26:20.000Z> em: I don't know what to say about that, maybe more recently I've been aware of it , but what can I say
<2023-04-22T04:26:40.000Z> graf: its okay. as long as you know how i feel about it thats all that matters
<2023-04-22T04:27:03.000Z> em: I'm aware of it now , I am 
<2023-04-22T04:27:21.000Z> graf: :love: 
<2023-04-22T04:28:06.000Z> em: Okie I sleepy now (:  cute kitty heart emoji right back ❤️ talk to you later 
<2023-04-22T04:28:21.000Z> graf: sweet dreams ily
<2023-04-22T15:37:19.000Z> em: Hope you slept well tooooo
<2023-04-22T20:17:07.000Z> graf: hi
<2023-04-22T20:17:09.000Z> graf: not really 
<2023-04-22T20:17:19.000Z> graf: send tummy 
<2023-04-24T16:09:36.000Z> em: Hey hi
<2023-04-24T16:09:58.000Z> em: Sorry no check internets 
<2023-04-24T16:10:01.000Z> em: Meow 
<2023-04-24T16:12:32.000Z> graf: 🥺
<2023-04-24T16:12:35.000Z> graf: hi
<2023-04-24T16:35:32.000Z> graf: emma come back
<2023-04-24T18:12:18.000Z> em: I'm here 
<2023-04-24T18:12:26.000Z> em: Trying to make Dr appointment 
<2023-04-24T18:12:32.000Z> graf: hi emma....for what
<2023-04-24T18:12:33.000Z> em: Aha 
<2023-04-24T18:12:53.000Z> em: Been in hypertension for days. Tired of nosebleeds lol
<2023-04-24T18:13:04.000Z> em: Waking up in the middle of the night with blood 
<2023-04-24T18:13:07.000Z> em: Lmao 
<2023-04-24T18:13:13.000Z> em: I think I'm dying 
<2023-04-24T18:13:35.000Z> graf: cute 
<2023-04-24T18:13:37.000Z> graf: I will fix u
<2023-04-24T18:13:59.000Z> em: You think 🤔 heh 
<2023-04-24T18:14:00.000Z> em: Hahaha 
<2023-04-24T18:14:06.000Z> em: How are you tho 
<2023-04-24T18:14:08.000Z> graf: yes 
<2023-04-24T18:14:11.000Z> graf: sad in bed 
<2023-04-24T18:20:34.000Z> em: Cheer up buttercup 
<2023-04-24T18:20:44.000Z> em: You playing game 
<2023-04-24T18:20:47.000Z> em: Or just rest
<2023-04-24T18:21:19.000Z> graf: no game just talking to u
<2023-04-24T18:21:23.000Z> graf: might have a nap 
<2023-04-24T18:22:27.000Z> em: Nap sounds heavenly 
<2023-04-24T18:22:30.000Z> em: Need one too
<2023-04-24T18:23:22.000Z> graf: I'll race u
<2023-04-24T22:08:44.000Z> em: Lol did you nap 
<2023-04-24T22:08:59.000Z> em: I'm back home from my appointment so it's time for me to take my nap lol 
<2023-04-24T22:09:09.000Z> em: Big yawn
<2023-04-24T23:14:20.000Z> graf: goodnight 
<2023-04-24T23:20:05.000Z> em: Ugh I can't sleep 
<2023-04-24T23:20:11.000Z> em: Heart beat too heavy 
<2023-04-24T23:20:14.000Z> em: I cry 
<2023-04-24T23:20:18.000Z> graf: that's what happens when you don't send tummy 
<2023-04-24T23:20:32.000Z> graf: also I get that. I can feel my heartbeat and can't sleep 
<2023-04-24T23:20:48.000Z> em: It's literally driving me nuts 
<2023-04-24T23:20:56.000Z> graf: me too unironically 
<2023-04-24T23:21:04.000Z> em: My tummy is not cute rn
<2023-04-24T23:21:07.000Z> graf: if I don't get blackout drunk sometimes I can't sleep at all 
<2023-04-24T23:21:08.000Z> em: I sorry 
<2023-04-24T23:21:24.000Z> em: Yeah I wish I could enjoy alcohol sometimes ngl
<2023-04-24T23:21:30.000Z> em: :(
<2023-04-24T23:21:38.000Z> graf: come over I'll enjoy u
<2023-04-24T23:21:43.000Z> em: But not trying to be sad rn 
<2023-04-24T23:21:46.000Z> em: Ha
<2023-04-24T23:22:16.000Z> em: Oh Dan, I'm giant mess right now. You deserve better lol 
<2023-04-24T23:22:26.000Z> graf: what if that is better 
<2023-04-24T23:23:09.000Z> em: I deserve better than what I'm dealing with too , but I feel like I must have really fucked up somehow somewhere for being such a black widow of a woman 
<2023-04-24T23:23:12.000Z> em: Lmao 
<2023-04-24T23:23:27.000Z> em: D: 
<2023-04-24T23:23:35.000Z> graf: you're always beautiful to me 
<2023-04-24T23:27:57.000Z> em: 🥺🥹🥺🥹
<2023-04-24T23:28:06.000Z> em: Oh hush 
<2023-04-24T23:28:50.000Z> graf: you hush 
<2023-04-24T23:33:26.000Z> em: I am already thooo 
<2023-04-24T23:33:31.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-04-24T23:33:36.000Z> graf: you're cute and I love you 
<2023-04-24T23:33:38.000Z> graf: shhh
<2023-04-24T23:36:17.000Z> em: 😭😭😭 I wish I understood 
<2023-04-24T23:36:31.000Z> graf: 🤱🏻
<2023-04-24T23:37:11.000Z> em: I love you too, thank you for making me feel like I'll be ok 
<2023-04-24T23:37:22.000Z> em: Wish it didn't make me cry though lmao 
<2023-04-24T23:41:38.000Z> graf: why cry 
<2023-04-24T23:41:41.000Z> graf: it's a good thing 
<2023-04-24T23:41:46.000Z> graf: I would wipe them for u
<2023-04-26T15:50:16.000Z> em: 🥹🥹
<2023-04-26T15:50:23.000Z> em: I believe 
<2023-04-26T15:50:30.000Z> em: Good morning 🌞
<2023-04-28T20:55:58.000Z> graf: miss u
<2023-04-28T20:56:00.000Z> graf: what are u doing
<2023-04-28T21:27:48.000Z> graf: come back 
<2023-04-28T21:27:51.000Z> graf: meow
<2023-04-29T16:31:52.000Z> em: meeeow
<2023-04-29T16:32:01.000Z> em: I finally got my rs sorted out 
<2023-04-29T16:32:02.000Z> em: :o
<2023-04-29T16:32:06.000Z> em: Hows you been
<2023-04-29T16:32:11.000Z> em: =)
<2023-04-29T16:32:28.000Z> em: they reset my oldschool acccount 
<2023-04-29T16:32:35.000Z> em: im low key high key saaaaad
<2023-04-29T19:53:45.000Z> graf: I'm sorry why would they do that 
<2023-05-02T06:50:47.000Z> em: i wish it could just be runescape.com again, old and easy 
<2023-05-02T06:50:51.000Z> em: lol
<2023-05-02T06:50:54.000Z> em: idk why 
<2023-05-02T06:51:06.000Z> em: but ehhh
<2023-05-02T06:51:10.000Z> graf: hi..
<2023-05-02T06:51:16.000Z> em: hellloo
<2023-05-02T06:51:18.000Z> em: =)
<2023-05-02T06:52:37.000Z> graf: hi emma...
<2023-05-02T07:01:58.000Z> em: whats with the dots
<2023-05-02T07:03:38.000Z> graf: I miss you a lot 
<2023-05-02T07:03:44.000Z> graf: wish I was laying with you right now 
<2023-05-02T07:03:55.000Z> em: soooo den why the dots!
<2023-05-02T07:04:09.000Z> graf: because I wasn't done thinking about u
<2023-05-02T07:04:18.000Z> em: Miss you also, hoow are you
<2023-05-02T07:04:34.000Z> graf: sad and wish I wasn't 
<2023-05-02T07:04:58.000Z> em: sometimes you cant shake it
<2023-05-02T07:05:25.000Z> graf: want to be a perv with u rn
<2023-05-02T07:05:32.000Z> em: ive just been numbing myself on rs, realized its very meditative 
<2023-05-02T07:05:33.000Z> em: aaa
<2023-05-02T07:05:39.000Z> em: is this so 
<2023-05-02T07:05:44.000Z> graf: yes 
<2023-05-02T07:07:17.000Z> em: lol, just spent a few mins in my head there and decided, be good so  shhhh 
<2023-05-02T07:07:57.000Z> graf: what did you think about 
<2023-05-02T07:08:00.000Z> graf: tell me. details please 
<2023-05-02T07:08:05.000Z> em: lol
<2023-05-02T07:16:21.000Z> graf: :(
<2023-05-02T13:16:07.000Z> em: Well that would be the worst time for my shit to die ... But no honestly Dan, I never got over you & it troubles me to think like that because I don't think it's ever coming back. I make bad choices without realizing it and maybe even they're not bad but I'm still not happy because it's not what I want even though it is ? 
<2023-05-02T13:16:29.000Z> em: I guess I never thought about second chances or anything working out the way I thought it would 
<2023-05-02T13:17:56.000Z> em: I spent all last night and this morning before I woke up thinking about what it could have been like together, and it's funny because it's like I barely know you, but I feel like I do. I still want to but I feel like you need to find what you need :/ even if it's like me, It's what you want but not exactly idk 
<2023-05-02T13:18:25.000Z> em: :/ I can't explain it my feelings exactly, but mayb you get that 
<2023-05-02T13:18:31.000Z> em: Anyways. Good morning
<2023-05-02T13:19:50.000Z> em: Ps. When I said 'lol'  --- it wasn't meant to bring sad face. I just feel ashamed still lol but you can't deny how badly I wanted you 
<2023-05-02T13:20:57.000Z> em: Pps. I really love the Avi. It's so soft 🖤
<2023-05-02T15:24:56.000Z> graf: :(
<2023-05-02T20:26:21.000Z> em: Yeah my mood too 
<2023-05-11T06:46:17.000Z> graf: happy birthday 🎈🐇
<2023-05-11T07:15:08.000Z> graf: pass it on or else 
<2023-05-11T15:33:06.000Z> em: Thank you 😊😊😊❤️
<2023-05-12T22:49:28.000Z> graf: hi 
<2023-05-12T22:49:37.000Z> graf: im outside in back yard 
<2023-05-12T22:49:59.000Z> graf: I will have this for u and also sophia https://i.poastcdn.org/2bb4c7891fd4ae58fabfc1ba896357038c005f92c0066a46e877233b4d290699.jpg
<2023-05-13T00:33:44.000Z> graf: come back pls
<2023-05-13T03:31:13.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-05-13T03:31:18.000Z> graf: please come back 
<2023-05-14T16:18:56.000Z> em: hi youuu
<2023-05-14T16:19:01.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-05-14T16:19:02.000Z> graf: i miss u
<2023-05-14T16:19:04.000Z> graf: talk to me
<2023-05-14T16:19:12.000Z> em: I miss you too ! 
<2023-05-14T16:19:28.000Z> graf: happy mothers day to the only mother other than my own that ill ever care about
<2023-05-14T16:19:29.000Z> graf: !!
<2023-05-14T16:19:55.000Z> em: awwww thank youuu :))
<2023-05-14T16:20:09.000Z> em: how are you todayyy
<2023-05-14T16:23:12.000Z> em: I'm laughing at the beer for Sophie
<2023-05-14T16:24:08.000Z> em: I've given her a sip and she doesn't mind it. Lmao 😂 she brings my mom a bottle every night 🤣 like a trained puppy it's so funny 
<2023-05-14T17:15:57.000Z> graf: hi im sorry i was working on something 
<2023-05-14T17:16:05.000Z> graf: i am here now
<2023-05-14T17:16:07.000Z> graf: keep me company come back
<2023-05-14T17:16:17.000Z> graf: would she bring me a beer be honest
<2023-05-14T17:29:55.000Z> em: She probably would but she might judge you if it's too many 👀
<2023-05-14T17:30:00.000Z> em: Sorta jk 😂
<2023-05-14T17:30:01.000Z> graf: why would she do that
<2023-05-14T17:30:06.000Z> graf: i drink like 7 or 8 in a day is that okay by her
<2023-05-14T17:30:08.000Z> graf: ;(
<2023-05-14T17:30:27.000Z> em: Hahaha at least it's not 24 
<2023-05-14T17:30:36.000Z> graf: im talking pints so its closer to 12 
<2023-05-14T17:30:37.000Z> em: You're funny tho 
<2023-05-14T17:30:39.000Z> graf: :flushed: 
<2023-05-14T17:31:14.000Z> em: Hmmm 🤔 now that depends on the rest of your diet. You eating your veggies ? Fruits ? Healthy snacks too! 
<2023-05-14T17:31:35.000Z> em: Beer is healthy but not in excess ... :0 
<2023-05-14T17:31:35.000Z> graf: no come over and give me a reason to eat fruits and vegetables
<2023-05-14T17:31:41.000Z> em: Hahahaha omg 
<2023-05-14T17:31:51.000Z> em: Id probably drive you mad 
<2023-05-14T17:31:58.000Z> em: 😭
<2023-05-14T17:31:59.000Z> graf: no way 
<2023-05-14T17:32:49.000Z> em: Soosoo I'm gonna start growing my own veggies wish me luck. Have you ever had stuffed vegetables ? 
<2023-05-14T17:33:00.000Z> graf: stuffed 
<2023-05-14T17:33:03.000Z> graf: what kind of vegetable
<2023-05-14T17:33:05.000Z> graf: stuffed with what
<2023-05-14T17:33:21.000Z> em: I'll show 
<2023-05-14T17:34:31.000Z> em: Like dis ❤️ https://i.poastcdn.org/b3b4389179cb8498731de3202a93ad7ac504f3d3aff31a2fbbc887f929205f40.jpg
<2023-05-14T17:34:53.000Z> graf: not like that but my mom makes stuffed peppers and cabbage rolls with ground beef and pork and rice and seasoning 
<2023-05-14T17:34:53.000Z> em: Usually ground beef & rice with spices. 
<2023-05-14T17:35:10.000Z> em: Very similar I'm guessing 
<2023-05-14T17:35:32.000Z> em: I'm going to have to look up but a cabbage roll is lol 
<2023-05-14T17:35:57.000Z> em: I'd try it 👀
<2023-05-14T17:36:13.000Z> graf: its the same but wrapped in cabbage leaves
<2023-05-14T17:36:16.000Z> graf: with tomato sauce
<2023-05-14T17:36:42.000Z> em: Kinda like dolmades 
<2023-05-14T17:36:48.000Z> em: But non med 
<2023-05-14T17:36:49.000Z> em: Lol
<2023-05-14T17:37:01.000Z> graf: i dont know what that means https://i.poastcdn.org/5aabc9b6232386dd49064629bd11dc942ff8477009bb272bc1922887810727e4.png
<2023-05-14T17:37:07.000Z> em: It's so neat how cultures have very similar foods but they're still totally different
<2023-05-14T17:37:40.000Z> em: Dolmades is rice and sometimes meat wrapped in grape leaves ...with lemon juice hehe
<2023-05-14T17:38:05.000Z> em: What's funny is I think I hate cooking but then I think about food and how much I want to make it hahahaha 
<2023-05-14T17:38:21.000Z> em: I love cooking for people but not myself 
<2023-05-14T17:38:46.000Z> graf: mood
<2023-05-14T17:38:50.000Z> graf: i hate cooking for just me
<2023-05-14T17:38:54.000Z> graf: so come over ill cook for u
<2023-05-14T17:39:03.000Z> em attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/3eb5edaa5e53ff534bcaa7fda121c0e60f19c91305572a8cc421f593ab92b8cb.jpg
<2023-05-14T17:39:20.000Z> graf: >stuffed
<2023-05-14T17:39:20.000Z> em: Deal 🤝🏻
<2023-05-14T17:39:22.000Z> graf: wouldn't they be a wrap
<2023-05-14T17:39:29.000Z> em: Lol 😅
<2023-05-14T17:39:34.000Z> graf: you dont call a burrito a 'stuffed tortilla'
<2023-05-14T17:39:43.000Z> em: More or less hahaha good point ☝🏼
<2023-05-14T17:39:53.000Z> em: That's what I'm going to start calling burritos
<2023-05-14T17:39:57.000Z> em: I'm dying 
<2023-05-14T17:40:08.000Z> em: I'll have a stuffed flour tortilla please 🥺
<2023-05-14T17:41:08.000Z> graf: you should see how long it takes before someone looks at you like you're retarded
<2023-05-14T17:41:54.000Z> em: I mean I'm pretty used to the look, maybe I wouldn't even notice 
<2023-05-14T17:41:59.000Z> em: 😆 
<2023-05-14T17:42:14.000Z> graf: what else do you call stuffed that could likely also be a wrap
<2023-05-14T17:42:32.000Z> em: Hmmmm 
<2023-05-14T17:48:22.000Z> em: Idk but thinking is making me hungry 
<2023-05-14T17:48:28.000Z> graf: you should have lunch 
<2023-05-14T17:48:35.000Z> em: It's egg time lol , breakfast.  
<2023-05-14T17:48:52.000Z> em: Unfortunately I spent all morning in bed.  Headache straight from hell 
<2023-05-14T17:49:07.000Z> graf: bed  all day is good too
<2023-05-14T19:37:05.000Z> em: noooot always
<2023-05-14T19:37:12.000Z> em: but im doing ok now
<2023-05-14T19:37:15.000Z> em: heheh
<2023-05-14T19:37:35.000Z> em: been reading about spirit animals for like an hour, lord help me
<2023-05-14T19:37:42.000Z> em: what are you up to 
<2023-05-14T20:40:03.000Z> graf: I fell asleep bc u left me 
<2023-05-14T20:40:06.000Z> graf: what u doing 
<2023-05-14T21:07:16.000Z> em: Did not lol you just sleepy :p 
<2023-05-14T21:07:20.000Z> em: How was your nap
<2023-05-14T21:07:30.000Z> graf: okay i guess 
<2023-05-14T21:07:31.000Z> graf: and yours
<2023-05-14T21:07:59.000Z> em: Not too bad. Realized I can't write with a quill very well lol 
<2023-05-14T21:08:31.000Z> graf attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/3aebfce820163affc3f0266f7842fb9ad796247140bfae1f88f900b7867884dd.mp4
<2023-05-14T21:08:33.000Z> graf: ive never done it
<2023-05-14T21:09:16.000Z> em: Gave .e
<2023-05-14T21:09:21.000Z> em: Me an n word finger lol 
<2023-05-14T21:09:27.000Z> em: Omg I love that cat 
<2023-05-14T21:10:03.000Z> graf attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/15aa10041a068f00d2d5fdb57a2cf538d2352b9e2a0216d2d2abcf205a468eeb.mp4
<2023-05-14T21:10:12.000Z> em: I can't wash it off 😢 https://i.poastcdn.org/7fe405dfa815bc73f761d48c7260643b0addc5229db50778c291c722a82d6201.jpg
<2023-05-14T21:11:04.000Z> em: Lol cats speak English 
<2023-05-14T21:11:10.000Z> em: Not many know this
<2023-05-14T21:11:23.000Z> em: Only rarely but they can 👀
<2023-05-14T21:11:28.000Z> graf: hand pics, hmmmmmmmmmmmm
<2023-05-14T21:11:29.000Z> graf: whats next
<2023-05-14T21:42:53.000Z> em: Hmmm
<2023-05-14T21:43:35.000Z> em: Probably laptop pics lol I finally got the back off (had to buy tool) no I'm terrified I'm going to break it cleaning it 
<2023-05-14T21:43:46.000Z> em: Lmao. Cold sweat time 
<2023-05-14T21:43:48.000Z> graf: what are you trying to do
<2023-05-14T21:44:09.000Z> em: Well I'm cleaned it since I bought it so it's got some major dust buildup
<2023-05-14T21:44:17.000Z> em: Reading online says you use a vacuum cleaner that can't be right can it?
<2023-05-14T21:44:45.000Z> em: I just have a can of air right now ready to go
<2023-05-14T21:45:38.000Z> em: I haven't *** not I'm. (voice to text sucks) 
<2023-05-14T21:47:07.000Z> em: Ok air worked fine lol 
<2023-05-14T21:47:32.000Z> graf: yes you can lol
<2023-05-14T21:47:35.000Z> graf: weirdo
<2023-05-14T21:47:41.000Z> graf: send fixing pics of u fixing things rn
<2023-05-14T21:48:10.000Z> em: Lmao hush I'm a nooob 
<2023-05-14T21:48:16.000Z> em: Scary cat 🐈‍⬛
<2023-05-14T21:48:40.000Z> em: Computer guts look so wild to me 
<2023-05-14T21:48:45.000Z> em: Scary 😨
<2023-05-14T21:49:25.000Z> em: Air looks noisy
<2023-05-14T21:49:30.000Z> em: Moist *** 
<2023-05-14T21:49:34.000Z> em: Wtf 😂
<2023-05-14T21:49:45.000Z> graf: ur moist
<2023-05-14T21:49:49.000Z> em: Ok gonna turn back on , wish me luck 🤞🏻
<2023-05-14T21:49:51.000Z> em: And lmao 
<2023-05-14T21:50:53.000Z> graf: sending luck
<2023-05-14T21:59:25.000Z> em: Yay it's alive 😁
<2023-05-14T22:00:19.000Z> graf: YOU DID IT
<2023-05-14T22:02:18.000Z> em: 😅 
<2023-05-14T22:02:37.000Z> graf attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/ae82f6434c2b6a743b81a7ea1104de30ffd35cb701def8e1f64157542f007e02.jpg
<2023-05-14T22:02:50.000Z> em: Omg 
<2023-05-14T22:02:55.000Z> em: What is that nooooo
<2023-05-14T22:03:00.000Z> em: Hahahaha
<2023-05-14T22:03:56.000Z> graf: would you try it
<2023-05-14T22:03:59.000Z> graf: be honest
<2023-05-14T22:04:05.000Z> em: No 😂
<2023-05-14T22:04:11.000Z> em: Well. Idk. Maybe. 
<2023-05-14T22:04:20.000Z> graf: its fake mashed potatoes emma please dont do it
<2023-05-14T22:04:35.000Z> em: I'll try a bite just because it would be a first and last 
<2023-05-14T22:04:39.000Z> em: 😂
<2023-05-14T22:04:51.000Z> graf: i will make you real mashed potatoes
<2023-05-14T22:04:53.000Z> graf: come over
<2023-05-14T22:05:00.000Z> em: Much better, and preferred 
<2023-05-14T22:05:09.000Z> em: Okie be there eventually lol 
<2023-05-14T22:05:18.000Z> graf: im being serious come over rn
<2023-05-14T22:05:19.000Z> graf: bring sophia
<2023-05-14T22:16:43.000Z> em: I wonder how far of a drive you would be like for real 
<2023-05-14T22:20:40.000Z> graf: probably like 15+ hours
<2023-05-14T22:20:41.000Z> graf: lol
<2023-05-14T23:47:50.000Z> em: Short road trip 
<2023-05-14T23:47:58.000Z> em: I guess not terrible lol
<2023-05-14T23:48:21.000Z> graf: see you soon?????
<2023-05-14T23:48:38.000Z> em: Idk why but I feel like it's closer than that 
<2023-05-14T23:48:43.000Z> em: 👀
<2023-05-14T23:49:03.000Z> em: How long from you to Chicago 
<2023-05-14T23:56:09.000Z> graf attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/fca204a013f84c4c3ba7f0b39c1abdb8f1cfa0a9d598f97ac8d72b78e73c482e.png
<2023-05-14T23:59:40.000Z> em: Ok so not as bad as expected 
<2023-05-14T23:59:51.000Z> em: Maybe actually possible one day
<2023-05-14T23:59:54.000Z> graf: >one day
<2023-05-14T23:59:55.000Z> graf: tomorrow
<2023-05-15T01:00:33.000Z> em: I dunno about tomorrow lol
<2023-05-15T01:00:49.000Z> graf: PLEASE
<2023-05-15T01:00:54.000Z> em: Maybe when I get my vehicle fixed... More likely 
<2023-05-15T01:00:57.000Z> em: 😂 
<2023-05-15T01:02:40.000Z> graf: EMMA
<2023-05-15T01:02:41.000Z> graf: please
<2023-05-15T01:44:20.000Z> em: What! 
<2023-05-15T01:44:29.000Z> em: I want to, I'd like to 
<2023-05-15T01:44:37.000Z> graf: see you soon <3 
<2023-05-15T01:47:41.000Z> em: Until I have car ( I haven't since I've moved here) I am pretty much stuck in house :p 
<2023-05-15T01:47:43.000Z> em: However 
<2023-05-15T01:48:06.000Z> em: Someone recently passed away, leaving us 5k which should pay to fix my minivan 
<2023-05-15T01:48:14.000Z> graf: what kind of minivan.................
<2023-05-15T01:48:32.000Z> em: Waiting on that, even tho I'm sure my mom has better uses like bills but I'm going stir crazy 
<2023-05-15T01:48:39.000Z> em: Soooo we'll see in time :)
<2023-05-15T02:43:24.000Z> graf: WHAT KIND OF VAN!!! 😩 
<2023-05-15T02:51:40.000Z> em: It's a Honda Odyssey 
<2023-05-15T02:52:29.000Z> em: I got scammed on it lol but it's exterior was in perfect condition so as soon as we get the guts fixed .... I'll be set 😂
<2023-05-15T02:53:07.000Z> em: Sorry your messages don't come through 😭 I've gotta refresh a few times 
<2023-05-15T02:53:23.000Z> graf: honda 
<2023-05-15T02:53:24.000Z> graf: i see
<2023-05-15T02:53:36.000Z> graf: yeah your issue I fixed it will take a while to propagate across the internet sorry
<2023-05-15T02:53:40.000Z> em: 👀 maybe It my browser 
<2023-05-15T02:53:47.000Z> graf: no its our DNS 
<2023-05-15T02:54:05.000Z> em: Ooo 
<2023-05-15T02:54:19.000Z> em: Hi lol 
<2023-05-15T02:55:09.000Z> graf: ooo hi lol
<2023-05-15T02:55:12.000Z> graf: wheres tummy 
<2023-05-15T02:59:47.000Z> em: 😩
<2023-05-15T02:59:51.000Z> graf: need
<2023-05-15T02:59:53.000Z> em: Le sigh 
<2023-05-15T02:59:54.000Z> graf: 😩 
<2023-05-15T02:59:59.000Z> graf: no sighing at me
<2023-05-15T03:00:51.000Z> em: Tummy not camera ready... Big full & shy 
<2023-05-15T03:01:02.000Z> graf: its alwys my fav
<2023-05-15T03:02:41.000Z> em: You're sweet 
<2023-05-15T03:08:04.000Z> graf: no u
<2023-05-15T03:08:07.000Z> graf: what are you doing
<2023-05-15T03:08:10.000Z> graf: how was your mothers day
<2023-05-15T03:08:12.000Z> graf: where is sophia
<2023-05-15T04:12:20.000Z> em: Just put her to sleepie, upstairs now ...
<2023-05-15T04:12:58.000Z> em: Mother's day was nice. Three hours in bath + books = much happier & relaxed lol 
<2023-05-15T04:18:44.000Z> graf: cute
<2023-05-15T04:18:49.000Z> graf: wish i could have done something for you
<2023-05-15T04:21:02.000Z> em: The thought counts :) I appreciate that 
<2023-05-15T04:21:39.000Z> graf: i did a little extra
<2023-05-15T04:21:40.000Z> graf: <3 
<2023-05-15T04:24:55.000Z> em: Lol dork 🥰🥰
<2023-05-15T04:25:15.000Z> graf: no u
<2023-05-15T04:25:19.000Z> graf: you deserve it
<2023-05-15T04:25:25.000Z> graf: you dont g ive yourself enough credit for what you've done and what you will do
<2023-05-15T04:25:26.000Z> graf: ever
<2023-05-15T04:25:30.000Z> graf: and i wish you did
<2023-05-15T04:27:23.000Z> em: I mean, if you mean in the mom way , I wish I saw it like you do.  Don't get me wrong , I love kids, want all the kids, but I wish I had better understanding of red flags in men / knew how to leave etc 
<2023-05-15T04:27:49.000Z> em: As far as other things , in life, I'm working on it. Thank you 💖☝🏼 I'll get there. Hehe
<2023-05-15T04:27:55.000Z> graf: if you did you sophia could have been half me
<2023-05-15T04:27:59.000Z> graf: 😳 
<2023-05-15T04:29:36.000Z> em: You deserve better than me (especially at this point ) but I don't wanna spiral right now lol. I'm just coming out of a pretty bad depression lolol .... All I know is I'm literally forever done meeting men and don't wanna be fooled an
<2023-05-15T04:29:44.000Z> em: Ahhh 
<2023-05-15T04:30:05.000Z> graf: no fooling here
<2023-05-15T04:30:13.000Z> graf: you tell me when you're ready and i will drop everything 
<2023-05-15T04:31:19.000Z> em: I wish
<2023-05-15T04:31:25.000Z> graf: im 100% serious
<2023-05-15T04:32:37.000Z> graf: no spiraling 
<2023-05-15T04:32:43.000Z> graf: i will drop everything if thats what you want
<2023-05-15T04:32:45.000Z> graf: so keep that in mind
<2023-05-15T04:32:49.000Z> em: I still need to figure out an escape from my current situation, but I lost who I was these past few months .. :/ I haven't told anyone what's going on because I got so blind sighted by crazy ... 
<2023-05-15T04:33:23.000Z> em: I can't even explain to you the shit that happens to me. I think it's gotta be a past life thing. A lesson idk
<2023-05-15T04:35:18.000Z> em: I would love to give you children, that was the plan years ago , but I can't help but think you can find someone a little less ... Idk 😶 nuts 
<2023-05-15T04:35:24.000Z> em: Hahaha 
<2023-05-15T04:35:40.000Z> graf: but i like you
<2023-05-15T04:35:43.000Z> graf: nuts and all
<2023-05-15T04:35:51.000Z> graf: (i dont think you're nuts)
<2023-05-15T04:35:55.000Z> graf: just a space cadet maybe
<2023-05-15T04:36:19.000Z> em: Lol I'm spacey Bec of stress,  the nuts is genetic 😈
<2023-05-15T04:36:38.000Z> graf: so are mine come over and try em out 😈
<2023-05-15T04:39:38.000Z> em: It would be so nice to have a happy stable relationship, a loving husband.. but the idea feels impossible, like it's not meant for me ... And the more I try to find it , save my daughter , myself I get trapped in something really bad.  So now I'm scared of everything that has to do with that ... :/ So now even the right choice is a nerve wracking thing 
<2023-05-15T04:39:51.000Z> graf: well when you are ready for it, im here
<2023-05-15T04:40:48.000Z> em: :(
<2023-05-15T04:40:59.000Z> graf: no frown im being sincere
<2023-05-15T04:41:04.000Z> graf: not saying it to upset you at all, the complete opposite 
<2023-05-15T04:41:08.000Z> graf: i will drop everything 
<2023-05-15T04:42:05.000Z> em: I think I'm stuck this time , otherwise honestly, id come see where this goes ... Or Force you to visit me in a heart beat 
<2023-05-15T04:42:18.000Z> graf: dont ever think you're stuck
<2023-05-15T04:42:20.000Z> graf: i have waited a long time
<2023-05-15T04:42:58.000Z> em: :/ I would have to better explain over the phone / mic one day 
<2023-05-15T04:43:24.000Z> graf: you wanted to do that and then disappeared. you have my phone number. if im awake i will always answer you 24/7
<2023-05-15T04:43:42.000Z> graf: but something tells me your explaination is just trying to hide in your shell again
<2023-05-15T04:43:49.000Z> graf: you deserve happiness, too
<2023-05-15T04:43:54.000Z> graf: its okay to come out every once in a while
<2023-05-15T04:44:00.000Z> graf: i would never purposely hurt you and you know that 
<2023-05-15T04:45:48.000Z> em: I never expected to get you back 😞 I wish I had waited too ... But my need to keep Sofia from being raised by a single mom , ended up getting me into a shitty relationship .. with a selfish .. idiot (he's not around rn , and I've tried breaking up multiple times ) but honestly it's like nothing I say matters, and I just exist as a prop to make him look good. It's kinda sad 
<2023-05-15T04:46:31.000Z> em: He hasn't been around thankfully, and I've been better but he'll be back Oct and I'm dreading it 
<2023-05-15T04:46:44.000Z> graf: ? what kind of situation is that
<2023-05-15T04:46:46.000Z> graf: october? why?
<2023-05-15T04:52:31.000Z> em: I'm so bad at writing and having them make sense ... Because it's a rather long complicated thing for only being six real months but a total of ten ... Four of trying to get out but he manipulated the relationship with the use of public shit on Facebook (: and putting me on the spot. Forced into doing things I don't want , now I'm dealing with what happens with that ... And apparently trying leave gets me hit so I kinda have just given up.  He's currently in jail til Oct ... And when he's back he's gonna not be a piece of shit but I dont believe that 
<2023-05-15T04:53:03.000Z> graf: dont ever let someone hit you
<2023-05-15T04:53:06.000Z> em: So yeah I kinda think I'm fuckin retarded and suck for allowing this and you deserve better 
<2023-05-15T04:53:09.000Z> graf: why are you okay with that 
<2023-05-15T04:53:35.000Z> em: I'm not 
<2023-05-15T04:53:45.000Z> graf: so why does october matter?
<2023-05-15T04:53:53.000Z> graf: tell the police you are afraid and get a restraining order
<2023-05-15T04:56:10.000Z> graf: i would rather pay all your bills for you month in and out than have you be in that situation
<2023-05-15T04:56:15.000Z> graf: nobody deserves that most especially you
<2023-05-15T04:56:23.000Z> em: I don't want to be with him but I can't help my emotional shit right now :/  I am giving benefit of the doubt because I'm gonna be tied to him :/ when I said he used me like a prop , which he admitted to (which got me hit) was because it worked , despite being not what I wanted , especially with him.  He got what he wanted. 
<2023-05-15T04:56:44.000Z> graf: what do you mean be tied to him
<2023-05-15T04:56:44.000Z> graf: for what
<2023-05-15T04:58:29.000Z> em: :( I'm really fertile Dan, and I would never ever do the murder thing.  It's been really fuckin difficult, especially keeping it from you :/ this is why I told you I wantwd to talk on the phone q while back   , easier said than texted 
<2023-05-15T04:58:56.000Z> em: I'm due in oct. Just before he gets out of jail. 
<2023-05-15T04:59:54.000Z> graf: okay that still doesnt make it okay for you to be hit or to put up with it, at all. collect child support and fuck him off. anybody that raises a hand to you for whatever reason does not have your best interest at heart
<2023-05-15T04:59:58.000Z> graf: and will never
<2023-05-15T05:00:15.000Z> em: My mom's gonna try to help the situation, but I can't cut ties.. 😔 completely it's immoral, 
<2023-05-15T05:00:16.000Z> graf: the reason they put dogs down that bite people is because once they get away with it once, the behavior is learned and they will never shake it
<2023-05-15T05:00:20.000Z> graf: the same thing with dudes
<2023-05-15T05:01:15.000Z> graf: im sorry all i can do is shake my head. you know its wrong. morality has no bearing on safety. you can't have a moral outcome if you're dead
<2023-05-15T05:03:13.000Z> em: I agree with you, this is why I will get away, but I don't know how exactly... Besides just staying away 😕 but I've never been in this situation and have no idea what I'm doing, I've been so lost alone and confused... And besides my mom you're the only person I've talked to about it
<2023-05-15T05:04:32.000Z> em: I feel like a black widow, an untouchable after this 
<2023-05-15T05:04:54.000Z> em: Like I mentioned before, some type of lesson:(
<2023-05-15T05:05:49.000Z> graf: i dont think thats true and i think you are once again selling yourself short but you have a very small window of time where you can do whats right for you and sophia right now by removing yourself from the situation. you have a duty to protect her to
<2023-05-15T05:06:51.000Z> em: I talked to her about it and she hates me for it. She got close to him, it fuckin hurts my soul so bad.  I fucked myself. Got into the situation to save her and it did the opposite 
<2023-05-15T05:07:43.000Z> em: I truly think he's not awful. He's just selfish and reacted really bad :/ but I never wanna experience that reaction again 
<2023-05-15T05:07:46.000Z> graf: i dont think she hates you for it, if she was older and understood the immense danger she would be in i think she would understand. my niece thinks anybody who tells her to come inside for a bath at sunset is the devil
<2023-05-15T05:08:14.000Z> em: ok good point 
<2023-05-15T05:08:21.000Z> graf: someone who spends half a year or probably more in jail for what im assuming was domestic is not going to come out happy and pleasant. that will be stewing until it comes to a head
<2023-05-15T05:08:52.000Z> em: It was actually something from three years ago catching up to him (drugs) 
<2023-05-15T05:09:10.000Z> graf: oh no emma how could you let yourself get involved with a drug addict
<2023-05-15T05:09:11.000Z> graf: im so sorry
<2023-05-15T05:09:28.000Z> em: :/ I found out after six months 
<2023-05-15T05:09:40.000Z> em: And tried to leave him
<2023-05-15T05:10:47.000Z> graf: 85% of my dating experience in the last 10 years has been drug addicts. im only around one of them, the other might actually be dead after she had multiple open heart surgeries to correct a heart attack and several strokes. the other one is a single mother and i do everything i can to help her and her daughter within reason because i believe she has fully kicked everything but weed which for the most part is fine
<2023-05-15T05:10:55.000Z> graf: i can tell you with absolute certainty you should run 
<2023-05-15T05:11:00.000Z> em: I never told my mom about the drug problem, Bec it was "years" ago but told her he hit me and that was an immediate understanding he had to go (which he did ) but now I have to figure out how to actually get him to leave once he's back 
<2023-05-15T05:11:35.000Z> em: :( I'm sorry for your past relationships too .. it's very stressful 
<2023-05-15T05:11:59.000Z> graf: you need to know when it's doing more harm to you than the good it will ever create 
<2023-05-15T05:13:03.000Z> graf: honesty is the best approach if you wont just literally leave -- "sorry i entered this relationship under a completely different opinion of you. you turned out to not only be abusive but also a former drug addict and i really dont think that is the way to raise my daughter and ______. you can still see _______ but we cant be together."
<2023-05-15T05:13:26.000Z> graf: i dont believe drug addicts deserve any sort of reprise because none of them have ever followed through 
<2023-05-15T05:13:29.000Z> graf: but i dont know this person
<2023-05-15T05:14:05.000Z> em: I honestly do think even with two it'll be easier than dealing with him on top of it ... It's just how it looks.. and the fact I don't wanna explain to anyone anything .. I've already rid of my socials ugh 😫 why did everything get so turned upside down
<2023-05-15T05:14:37.000Z> graf: loneliness makes us do shitty things 
<2023-05-15T05:14:48.000Z> em: That's actually pretty perfectly stated 
<2023-05-15T05:15:15.000Z> em: Thank you for always knowing exactly what to say to me & how to talk to me 
<2023-05-15T05:15:32.000Z> graf: thank me by doing whats best for sphia
<2023-05-15T05:15:33.000Z> em: I was honestly scared you were gonna ghost me again :/ 
<2023-05-15T05:15:46.000Z> em: You got it 
<2023-05-15T05:16:19.000Z> graf: if you need me to go to iowa corn fields and beat someone down in october you let me know
<2023-05-15T05:17:06.000Z> em: That actually got a pretty decent smile from me lol 
<2023-05-15T05:17:50.000Z> graf: i wont be upset with you whatever you choose but i will be disappointed if you dont do what you know in your heart is right 
<2023-05-15T05:18:05.000Z> em: Wanna know a secret? I don't live by any corn fields but every thinks I live in the boonies because Iowa lol 
<2023-05-15T05:18:24.000Z> em: I know what's right, but knowing I have support 
<2023-05-15T05:18:26.000Z> graf: yes i know emma, i was looking for dentists around where you live to try to help you before you dipped again
<2023-05-15T05:18:29.000Z> em: That helps a ton 
<2023-05-15T05:19:40.000Z> em: 😔 least you understand where I've been mentally last 4ish  months 
<2023-05-15T05:19:58.000Z> em: Heck. Last year it seems 
<2023-05-15T05:21:21.000Z> graf: it doesnt mean i approve 
<2023-05-15T05:21:36.000Z> graf: it seems i have always been around to try to help you piece things back after you make the choices you do
<2023-05-15T05:21:43.000Z> graf: loneliness is a shitty way to feel
<2023-05-15T05:21:50.000Z> graf: but you deserve so much more than this
<2023-05-15T05:23:00.000Z> em: This choice had not only me fooled but everyone else ... I can't honestly say I am the only one to blame , just largely... And I don't know if it's as much loneliness as security ... :( My daughter only listens to me 
<2023-05-15T05:23:03.000Z> em: Men 
<2023-05-15T05:23:24.000Z> em: I feel so much guilt Dan 
<2023-05-15T05:23:35.000Z> graf: well i dont mean to beat a dead horse but i did tell you before you met this person many times that i would give you anything you wanted 
<2023-05-15T05:23:42.000Z> graf: but its okay
<2023-05-15T05:23:45.000Z> em: "single mom" thing eats at me 
<2023-05-15T05:23:53.000Z> em: You were with her ....
<2023-05-15T05:23:53.000Z> graf: i would prefer more now to make sure you and your daughter are safe
<2023-05-15T05:23:58.000Z> em: Seemed happy 
<2023-05-15T05:24:48.000Z> graf: not really. im occupying time trying not to be lonely. like you were except im much less invested in this than you it seems
<2023-05-15T05:25:32.000Z> em: That's the sad thing, I wasn't invested at all 😞 
<2023-05-15T05:26:58.000Z> graf: im sorry but how do you lay with a man and think "okay this guy can cum in me" and not be invested
<2023-05-15T05:27:01.000Z> graf: i dont believe that
<2023-05-15T05:27:04.000Z> graf: unless it wasnt consensual 
<2023-05-15T05:27:07.000Z> em: I never imagined how I'd end up being treated, and never imagined anyone would ignore being broken up with 
<2023-05-15T05:27:16.000Z> em: It wasn't consensual Dan 
<2023-05-15T05:27:26.000Z> em: It was painful, and unwanted 
<2023-05-15T05:28:00.000Z> graf: so you need to tell someone about it other than me. you know it's wrong but you'd rather be complacent. why?
<2023-05-15T05:28:14.000Z> em: :/ I'm so disgusted with myself, for the things I thought when I found out I was pregnant.   Like I said I never felt like, like I've never not known myself the way I didn't know who I was these past couple months.  
<2023-05-15T05:29:01.000Z> em: Then I had a scare, just this month and I realized how much I do want him , or her , despite not wanting what brought him/her to me 
<2023-05-15T05:29:38.000Z> em: Because none of it matters, I'm going to love this child no matter what, I'm going to take care of them even if I'm alone, and I'm not going to think of anything negative
<2023-05-15T05:30:09.000Z> em: He knows what he did, my mother has a pretty damn good idea, but when you're a woman and you're with somebody and they don't care for you the way they say they do or pretend they do it's difficult 
<2023-05-15T05:30:33.000Z> graf: why is it difficult? you have someone who cares more about your safety and sanity than anything else in me
<2023-05-15T05:30:40.000Z> em: I know many women just lay there and let whatever happen...  It's hard to explain and doesn't make sense I know. 
<2023-05-15T05:30:41.000Z> graf: nothing ever stopped me from talking to you relationship or not
<2023-05-15T05:30:50.000Z> graf: so im not sure why you would think you had to hide any of this from me
<2023-05-15T05:31:04.000Z> em: Because I didn't want to risk losing you even as somebody just to talk to
<2023-05-15T05:31:26.000Z> graf: you must not know me very well if you think i'd stop talking to you for doing the same thing im doing with you right now
<2023-05-15T05:32:25.000Z> em: I love you :/  and I'm stupid and hormonal... I can't think straight at all, ever , and I'm ashamed .... Which honestly is a pretty new feeling because I don't do shameful shit lmao 
<2023-05-15T05:32:35.000Z> em: I hate crying and I'm doing that fml 
<2023-05-15T05:32:44.000Z> graf: sometimes its good to cry tho
<2023-05-15T05:32:55.000Z> graf: i cried about missing my dad a lot the other night all by myself with nobody to talk to
<2023-05-15T05:33:02.000Z> graf: sometimes it helps to let shit out
<2023-05-15T05:33:25.000Z> graf: but i will tell you, i will be incredibly disappointed in you if you just continue complacency come october 
<2023-05-15T05:33:39.000Z> em: I miss my dad so much too, I can't help but think I wouldn't be in this situation if he was still here. the master of reading people ... I'm obviously the worst lol 😭
<2023-05-15T05:33:51.000Z> em: You see why women need men? Father's? 
<2023-05-15T05:33:52.000Z> graf: im the master of reading people btw
<2023-05-15T05:33:55.000Z> em: I'm wrecked 
<2023-05-15T05:33:56.000Z> graf: yes i know they do
<2023-05-15T05:35:19.000Z> em: I just pray for Sophie:/ 
<2023-05-15T05:35:33.000Z> graf: she's always been what im most concerned about 
<2023-05-15T05:35:36.000Z> graf: i am, too
<2023-05-15T05:35:42.000Z> graf: concerned for her now, i mean
<2023-05-15T05:35:51.000Z> em: Me too
<2023-05-15T05:36:14.000Z> em: I'll do whats right 
<2023-05-15T05:36:24.000Z> em: Thank you for this
<2023-05-15T05:39:38.000Z> graf: what do you consider is right? do you want my opinion of what i consider is right?you give that child a life it would have never had with a junkie, like you have with sophia. you have my support, and you have the support of others in your community, your mom and literally the entirety of poast if you just talk to people. nobody here will ever wish harm on you, sophia or unborn or your family or anythingwhat you need to do is distance yourself, if you are not going to file charges for rape which from what you tell me is exactly what it was -- spousal (gf/bf is included in this) rape is very real and provable. you may not feel pulling that kind of thing at the end of a relationship is "morally correct" but this person has impacted your life now forever for something you didnt want, after abusing you in other ways. you will receive this treatment again or worse if you dont do something to protect yourself. if you dont care about yourself do it for sophia and the unborn child that never asked to be in the middle of this. some men dont deserve children, even more dont deserve loving relationships. the men who abuse women for any purpose dont deserve either because that abuse wont end at you
<2023-05-15T05:39:41.000Z> graf: think smart about this
<2023-05-15T05:49:01.000Z> em: It's hard to admit, that you're right and I've been in denial about the creation aspect but not wanting something like that does end up being the r word ... Which is probably exactly why I shut down...:( 
<2023-05-15T05:49:09.000Z> em: You have made nothing but good points
<2023-05-15T05:49:20.000Z> em: I appreciate a clear mind on this because I have been really struggling
<2023-05-15T05:49:32.000Z> graf: if you believe that then do what is truly right for you and your child(ren)
<2023-05-15T05:49:47.000Z> graf: you cant wait around for a ticking time bomb like that
<2023-05-15T05:50:52.000Z> em: Since I already was planning on making it concrete when he's out, that I was through, I think you're right about saving the child from possible issues too 
<2023-05-15T05:51:33.000Z> graf: there are legal avenues he can take to be involved with the child's life but i will be honest when i say most men dont care 
<2023-05-15T05:51:36.000Z> em: I've already had nightmares about visitation rights with some drug addled person etc being around my child:/ 
<2023-05-15T05:51:51.000Z> em: I think he'll care, this was all his intention
<2023-05-15T05:52:22.000Z> graf: pregnancy is a way for men to keep women around because of fear like you described 
<2023-05-15T05:52:24.000Z> em: He wanted children, but none of his druggie ex-girlfriends kept the babies they all got abortions
<2023-05-15T05:52:32.000Z> em: I should have seen that as a red flag huh?
<2023-05-15T05:52:40.000Z> em: I just thought it was typical women
<2023-05-15T05:53:20.000Z> em: You've given me a more stable view on everything
<2023-05-15T05:53:27.000Z> graf: its not typical, my gf is young. much younger than i am and she wants them but i tell her no because i think she is just trying to do it to keep me around. she's got a lot of issues on her own i want her to sort out before i even considered something like that
<2023-05-15T05:53:32.000Z> graf: but she was a virgin when i met her
<2023-05-15T05:53:39.000Z> graf: most women arent like that at all
<2023-05-15T05:53:55.000Z> graf: its a drug thing -- guys will pay more to bareback and when you are a junkie well, anything to get a f ix
<2023-05-15T05:55:37.000Z> em: I know dan, that's partly why I thought you should be with her, she seemed different from what I heard from around the grape vine ... But with youth comes immaturity too.... Can't say it doesn't make me sad that you're back with her even if I just want you happy just as much 
<2023-05-15T05:56:09.000Z> graf: i meant what i said when i said i'd drop everything
<2023-05-15T05:56:15.000Z> em: Ugh life is... Really something isn't it
<2023-05-15T05:56:16.000Z> graf: but you have to sort your shit out before i will
<2023-05-15T05:56:57.000Z> em: That's why I brought it up... I'm working on it..  
<2023-05-15T05:57:20.000Z> graf: okay, and i will be ready 
<2023-05-15T05:57:35.000Z> graf: speaking of the junkie thing, have you been tested? you know, for like stds?
<2023-05-15T05:57:52.000Z> em: Only time will tell at this point ... Maybe we can have Christmas...  && 
<2023-05-15T05:58:09.000Z> em: Eewee... But unfortunately I have been blood tested for just about everything recently .
<2023-05-15T05:58:23.000Z> em: I said fortunately 
<2023-05-15T05:58:31.000Z> em: Ignore my appearance speech impediment lol 
<2023-05-15T05:58:34.000Z> graf: im just looking out for you. i used to get them every 3 months just in case but i havent since ive only been with gf and im her only partner 
<2023-05-15T06:00:32.000Z> em: I understand, trust me , I'm going to enjoy my abstinence. I can't enjoy sex without mental attraction & that's the hardest thing to find it seems. 
<2023-05-15T06:00:50.000Z> graf: what do you mean im right here
<2023-05-15T06:00:55.000Z> graf: ill tickle ur brain and ur cervix come overf
<2023-05-15T06:02:02.000Z> em: I won't let you be a cheater, but I'll be hopefully taking you up on that in the future 
<2023-05-15T06:02:24.000Z> graf: i wouldnt cheat on anyone
<2023-05-15T06:03:13.000Z> em: Good 
<2023-05-15T06:05:09.000Z> graf: i miss you
<2023-05-15T06:05:13.000Z> graf: and i want things to be better for you
<2023-05-15T06:05:15.000Z> graf: i will help you as i can
<2023-05-15T06:06:13.000Z> em: As much pain as I'm feeling right now  , it's equal to my thankfulness 
<2023-05-15T06:06:18.000Z> em: I miss you too 
<2023-05-15T06:06:44.000Z> graf: you shouldnt feel pain
<2023-05-15T06:06:52.000Z> graf: but i understand why now you refuse to send tummy whne you would do it any time i asked
<2023-05-15T06:06:58.000Z> graf: lol
<2023-05-15T06:07:35.000Z> em: The fact you can still make me laugh even though my chest hurts, quite a skill 
<2023-05-15T06:08:15.000Z> em: Id send tummy but it's not what you want 😂
<2023-05-15T06:08:18.000Z> graf: you are a creature of habit so it was incredibly weird that you wouldn't do it
<2023-05-15T06:08:22.000Z> graf: never expected pregnancy tho
<2023-05-15T06:08:24.000Z> graf: u win
<2023-05-15T06:08:49.000Z> em: lol
<2023-05-15T06:08:55.000Z> em: Oi 
<2023-05-15T06:09:24.000Z> graf: i still think about you being a perv on video every single day btw
<2023-05-15T06:10:00.000Z> em: Tummy only barely showing, but more than last time ..
<2023-05-15T06:10:10.000Z> em: && that makes you perv 
<2023-05-15T06:10:15.000Z> em: ☝🏼💖
<2023-05-15T06:10:49.000Z> graf: im okay with it making me a perv
<2023-05-15T06:11:07.000Z> graf: i will never do something like that again but to let go and do something like t hat with you was a major part of my emotional development
<2023-05-15T06:11:21.000Z> graf: i developed so much more of an emotional bond to you than i think you will ever know
<2023-05-15T06:11:55.000Z> em: Me too, honestly I have never felt so comfortable with anyone before 
<2023-05-15T06:12:09.000Z> em: My trust issues went out the window 
<2023-05-15T06:12:58.000Z> em: I was  , and still am positive about you 
<2023-05-15T06:13:24.000Z> graf: i just want you to be happy. if it isnt with me thats fine but please dont settle for someone who has or will abuse you for any reason
<2023-05-15T06:13:59.000Z> em: Right back at you, though I'd rather it's with me
<2023-05-15T06:14:04.000Z> em: Sigh
<2023-05-15T06:14:07.000Z> graf: so make it happen
<2023-05-15T06:14:11.000Z> graf: you are the one with the control
<2023-05-15T06:14:43.000Z> em: You say that, maybe to a degree...
<2023-05-15T06:14:52.000Z> graf: there is no degree
<2023-05-15T06:15:27.000Z> graf: you come on here or call me and tell me you and sophia and unborn are safe and you've made sure to cut your ties i will drop literally everything except my website 
<2023-05-15T06:16:42.000Z> em: Expect it ❤️
<2023-05-15T06:16:59.000Z> graf: i did and i have been waiting
<2023-05-15T06:17:03.000Z> graf: i told you over a year ago i would wait for you
<2023-05-15T06:17:28.000Z> em: I'm sorry I'm so dense tbh 
<2023-05-15T06:17:44.000Z> em: But it's understood now 
<2023-05-15T06:18:44.000Z> graf: you arent dense but i think you have a hard time wrapping your head around how someone far could want to solve all your problems like some kind of fairy tale. it's hard to believe and i understand it but i've tried my best to show you i am being sincere always
<2023-05-15T06:20:23.000Z> em: You hit the nail on the mark... Not even sure if that's the right expression, but yeah  , fairy tale ending has never been expected 
<2023-05-15T06:20:55.000Z> graf: well, who knows i may make a lot of money with poast and retire and could give you and sophia and ____ the life you deserve 
<2023-05-15T06:22:55.000Z> em: ❤️ it sounds like a dream
<2023-05-15T06:23:24.000Z> graf: you have always been my dream emma
<2023-05-15T06:24:16.000Z> em: I'm thinking of the name Luca Xavier (boy) or Sasha for a girl... But nothing is set in stone, I have a hundred boy names and no girl names lol 
<2023-05-15T06:24:39.000Z> em: You're mine too... Perhaps that's why it's so hard to believe it. 
<2023-05-15T06:24:45.000Z> graf: i hope you have another girl. sophia always struck me as a good big sister even when she was little
<2023-05-15T06:24:48.000Z> graf: you will see it some day, too
<2023-05-15T06:24:48.000Z> em: even with my tendency to believe you, and trust you
<2023-05-15T06:25:09.000Z> graf: why would you not trust me? have i done something to warrant concern or worry?
<2023-05-15T06:25:14.000Z> em: I think she's going to be a wonderful big sister
<2023-05-15T06:25:25.000Z> graf: i always tried to provide what i could for you even if it cost me a lot because i couldnt just give things to you
<2023-05-15T06:26:29.000Z> em: Don't take that personally, in the sense of why wouldn't I, I don't trust anybody ... From my experience with literally everybody in my life previously... Friends exes family ... Not easy ... But with you , like I said , it all went out the window. 
<2023-05-15T06:26:53.000Z> graf: i dont think i ever did anything to make you question if i was sinceree
<2023-05-15T06:26:56.000Z> em: You're so special to me 
<2023-05-15T06:26:59.000Z> graf: i fell for you pretty quick and wanted everything with you
<2023-05-15T06:27:16.000Z> em: Exactly the same for me 
<2023-05-15T06:27:23.000Z> em: heck I planned our wedding lol 
<2023-05-15T06:28:52.000Z> graf: tell me about it
<2023-05-15T06:32:19.000Z> em: I imagined something more or less outdoors, intimate, pine smell, twinkling lights, table ferns, I still have most things pinned in a private Pinterest lol ... I guess we never had the chance to talk about what the other wanted ... But simple elegant and earthy would be my choice 
<2023-05-15T06:32:35.000Z> graf: i love pine smell 
<2023-05-15T06:32:47.000Z> graf: i actually mow my lawn frequently just so i can smell fresh mow lawn smell
<2023-05-15T06:32:49.000Z> graf: is that weird
<2023-05-15T06:35:25.000Z> em: lol no I quite enjoy that too 
<2023-05-15T06:35:39.000Z> em: I'm known to go outside and big inhale 
<2023-05-15T06:35:41.000Z> em: Lmao 
<2023-05-15T06:35:54.000Z> graf: some over so i can big inhale armpit
<2023-05-15T06:36:01.000Z> em: But pine has to be in top smells .... 
<2023-05-15T06:36:06.000Z> em: Lol 😅
<2023-05-15T06:36:15.000Z> graf: why that emoji
<2023-05-15T06:36:26.000Z> graf: thinking about how you randomly video called me one day and started taking your clothes off
<2023-05-15T06:36:27.000Z> graf: edskfjdksljhgdfh
<2023-05-15T06:36:35.000Z> em: I smell like almond and lemon .... Not the most perfect mix hahaha 
<2023-05-15T06:37:06.000Z> em: You have no idea what you do / did to me 
<2023-05-15T06:37:17.000Z> graf: what am i doing
<2023-05-15T06:37:24.000Z> graf: im just telling you im thinking about it
<2023-05-15T06:37:34.000Z> em: I've never wanted another human being that way before 
<2023-05-15T06:37:58.000Z> em: Ached to be next to you. 
<2023-05-15T06:38:10.000Z> graf: you can be any time you want
<2023-05-15T06:38:14.000Z> graf: i wish you knew that
<2023-05-15T06:38:31.000Z> em: I'm not a physical person , but I am, wanted to be with you 
<2023-05-15T06:38:47.000Z> em: I don't understand it
<2023-05-15T06:38:55.000Z> em: Just happy it's so
<2023-05-15T06:39:40.000Z> em: Wanted to be the reason you stopped sleeping on the couch
<2023-05-15T06:39:45.000Z> graf: you initiated this all.. i never did. i told you i wanted to do it because you were always turning me on i didnt think you would actuallt
<2023-05-15T06:39:47.000Z> graf: im glad you did though
<2023-05-15T06:40:13.000Z> em: I didn't think I would either
<2023-05-15T06:40:16.000Z> em: Lol
<2023-05-15T06:44:42.000Z> graf: i like it
<2023-05-15T06:44:45.000Z> graf: wish you would do it again
<2023-05-15T06:44:46.000Z> graf: <3 
<2023-05-15T06:46:05.000Z> em: Anything for you, honestly 
<2023-05-15T06:47:57.000Z> graf: if you mean that then starting tomorrow start on your path to safety
<2023-05-15T06:49:44.000Z> em: I've been on the path my dear, not much I can do besides what I'm already doing. Packing stuff up, cleaning out drawers and taking care of myself, I took a lot to pull myself out of the depression I was in...
<2023-05-15T06:49:54.000Z> em: Embarrassingly enough, a lot of self-help books lol
<2023-05-15T06:50:08.000Z> graf: nothing embarassing about that
<2023-05-15T06:50:20.000Z> graf: but sometimes the best help comes from someone who understands your situation and has advice from experience
<2023-05-15T06:50:46.000Z> em: This i learned tonight 
<2023-05-15T06:50:56.000Z> em: I'm sorry it took me so long 
<2023-05-15T06:52:44.000Z> graf: why be sorry, its better late then never
<2023-05-15T06:52:49.000Z> graf: but i understand why you stopped texting now 
<2023-05-15T06:52:55.000Z> graf: 🤭 
<2023-05-15T06:56:34.000Z> em: Yeah it weighed on me
<2023-05-15T06:57:13.000Z> graf: well like ive said, im not going to try to sway your feeling or opinion 
<2023-05-15T06:57:23.000Z> graf: but i hope you do what is right by your daughter
<2023-05-15T06:57:32.000Z> graf: she deserves the best you can give her
<2023-05-15T06:57:36.000Z> graf: and your situation now isnt that
<2023-05-15T06:58:04.000Z> em: But I feel better, honestly I am so thankful for having you to talk to and having your advice, that is one thing you have always been able to do.... 
<2023-05-15T06:58:18.000Z> em: Get through to me / have the right thing to say
<2023-05-15T06:58:33.000Z> graf: its not the right thing to say 
<2023-05-15T06:58:36.000Z> em: You may not believe it but, most people don't know how to talk to me
<2023-05-15T06:58:50.000Z> graf: i believe it, most people dont know how to talk to anyone
<2023-05-15T06:58:57.000Z> em: It's like people try to beat around the bush or something, something that I don't understand 
<2023-05-15T06:59:03.000Z> em: But you say things exactly how they should be said
<2023-05-15T06:59:10.000Z> em: Or how I understand them
<2023-05-15T06:59:27.000Z> graf: you can thank my dad for that. he told me "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" 
<2023-05-15T06:59:33.000Z> graf: exactly what you mean right now
<2023-05-15T06:59:54.000Z> em: You're right, people don't know how to talk anymore and I don't have anyone to talk to, especially bluntly 
<2023-05-15T07:00:16.000Z> em: Ha. My mom was trying to explain that to me the other day , along with all the other sayings that never made sense because autism
<2023-05-15T07:00:27.000Z> em: However the one in the hand over the bush thing does make sense 
<2023-05-15T07:00:35.000Z> graf: my father is the reason i am the way i am
<2023-05-15T07:00:38.000Z> em: So does thin ice.. but there's so many that don't 😂
<2023-05-15T07:00:39.000Z> graf: i owe everything to him
<2023-05-15T07:01:22.000Z> graf: maybe i can lead some clarity to that one -- a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush is more or less saying "saying what you think means more than trying to tiptoe around being truthful"
<2023-05-15T07:01:41.000Z> em: I think that's one thing, I adore about you so much.  You are raised right, a father's son, who respects him ... And is traditional/oldfashioned in all the right ways 
<2023-05-15T07:02:50.000Z> em: And I definitely appreciate the fact that you say exactly what you mean to say , no bs. 
<2023-05-15T07:03:08.000Z> em: Without that , I fail at communicating lol 
<2023-05-15T07:03:28.000Z> graf: no you dont but you also hide a lot, i wish you would just speak what you think and feel. you know ive never judged you
<2023-05-15T07:03:46.000Z> graf: do you remember how long it took me to beat you down to let me buy you dinner
<2023-05-15T07:03:48.000Z> graf: (and your mom too)
<2023-05-15T07:04:24.000Z> em: I do, speak what I feel, it's just the fact I am not used to being listened to much anymore, so in somebody listens to me it almost doesn't feel real
<2023-05-15T07:04:37.000Z> em: I'd like to think I'm pretty open with you lol 😉
<2023-05-15T07:04:45.000Z> graf: no you dont you could have told me this all sooner but you waited, im glad you still told me, but there was so much time between then and now
<2023-05-15T07:04:50.000Z> em: I am pretty bad at accepting gifts tho 
<2023-05-15T07:04:54.000Z> em: I'll admit to that
<2023-05-15T07:05:11.000Z> em: You have to admit that out of a lot of things to be open about this is
<2023-05-15T07:05:16.000Z> em: Was... 
<2023-05-15T07:05:20.000Z> em: Would be hard for anybody
<2023-05-15T07:05:33.000Z> em: I kept thinking the worst
<2023-05-15T07:06:44.000Z> graf: emma you fingered yourself on video with me why would this be harder than that for you. i knew everything about you. everything you would tell me. i was bound to you, bonded for what i hoped was life. there's no reason you couldnt tell me anything
<2023-05-15T07:08:43.000Z> em: Because if you never spoke to me again, I ..
<2023-05-15T07:08:51.000Z> graf: why do you think i wouldnt?
<2023-05-15T07:08:52.000Z> em: I don't know
<2023-05-15T07:09:10.000Z> em: Because I was feeling really extremely down on myself
<2023-05-15T07:09:29.000Z> em: I was scared
<2023-05-15T07:09:33.000Z> em: Plain and simple
<2023-05-15T07:09:36.000Z> graf: you pushed me away and i never gave u p
<2023-05-15T07:09:38.000Z> graf: why would i give up now
<2023-05-15T07:10:00.000Z> em: Doesn't everyone have a limit, I knew it wasn't your dream to be a
<2023-05-15T07:10:29.000Z> em: Step father of one, even if she is absolutely a doll ... 
<2023-05-15T07:10:52.000Z> em: But two .. I figured I'd lose you and even if I didn't have you at that point what if it ruined the chances
<2023-05-15T07:10:55.000Z> graf: no you're right, i dont think thats anybodys dream but being in a relationship you want absolutely is
<2023-05-15T07:11:12.000Z> em: Can't really say I knew what I was thinking, I really wasn't I was being emotional and hormonal and a woman 
<2023-05-15T07:12:08.000Z> graf: i have been begging you for over a year to just talk to me
<2023-05-15T07:12:08.000Z> graf: :(
<2023-05-15T07:12:18.000Z> em: This has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, such a shock after Sophia being the most wonderful experience best pregnancy glowing happy amazing ..
<2023-05-15T07:12:30.000Z> graf: im sorry if i was being perverted some of that time i am being sincere when i tell you i think about it every single day
<2023-05-15T07:12:57.000Z> em: Can't you see why I'd be scared to lose you then
<2023-05-15T07:13:13.000Z> em: I want you to want me, I will always feel the same about you. 
<2023-05-15T07:13:17.000Z> graf: no i dont because i was literally hanging off everything you said to me
<2023-05-15T07:13:23.000Z> graf: why would you get the impression i'd flee from that
<2023-05-15T07:14:06.000Z> em: I wasn't myself for one. 
<2023-05-15T07:15:47.000Z> em: Ugh 😩 don't want to go back there right now, we can just move from this point on please?
<2023-05-15T07:16:09.000Z> graf: thats fine
<2023-05-15T07:16:10.000Z> em: made it past the bad stage, going to be better from now on
<2023-05-15T07:16:29.000Z> graf: im still thikning about you doing your little dance with your butt jiggle when you got on video call that first time
<2023-05-15T07:16:30.000Z> graf: klsfdjsh
<2023-05-15T07:16:31.000Z> em: I had to come to terms with a lot with myself before I did anything 
<2023-05-15T07:16:40.000Z> em: Loool 
<2023-05-15T07:17:06.000Z> em: You're cute & Your memory is amazing & quit making me blush
<2023-05-15T07:17:23.000Z> graf: you were wearing a white shit
<2023-05-15T07:17:24.000Z> graf: shirt
<2023-05-15T07:17:24.000Z> graf: sdfgjksgj
<2023-05-15T07:17:29.000Z> graf: and you set me down on the counter to take it off
<2023-05-15T07:17:35.000Z> graf: and did your little jiggle
<2023-05-15T07:17:52.000Z> em: Nervous jiggle it sounds like lol
<2023-05-15T07:18:12.000Z> graf: no you literally looked at the phone and did this little smirk and angled your butt upwards while looking back 
<2023-05-15T07:18:15.000Z> graf: it was super cute
<2023-05-15T07:18:33.000Z> em: LOL ok cheeks flushed. 
<2023-05-15T07:18:38.000Z> graf: its forever burned into my memory 
<2023-05-15T07:18:42.000Z> graf: i will die with that memory 
<2023-05-15T07:18:44.000Z> em: You hush now with your perfect memory
<2023-05-15T07:18:51.000Z> graf: i could tell you smells if i was with you in person thats how much i remember
<2023-05-15T07:19:26.000Z> em: 🫣🫣🫣 please tell me why that stupid smells like sex and candy song just popped in my head 
<2023-05-15T07:19:30.000Z> em: 😂 
<2023-05-15T07:19:46.000Z> graf: i dont know but i want to smell what sex with you is like
<2023-05-15T07:20:44.000Z> em: I bet our chemistry will be just right 
<2023-05-15T07:20:53.000Z> graf: when wasnt it?
<2023-05-15T07:21:03.000Z> em: I mean scent wise 
<2023-05-15T07:21:05.000Z> em: Heh
<2023-05-15T07:21:34.000Z> graf: thinking about your reaction when we finished
<2023-05-15T07:21:44.000Z> graf: "thats a lot"
<2023-05-15T07:23:08.000Z> em: My heart just skipped, aaaa don't make me fantasize... I'm on pelvic rest ... But she seem to tell me I'm not allowed to do anything to bring pressure to down there so I don't know if that means like turned on too lol 
<2023-05-15T07:23:34.000Z> em: I zone out a lot when doctors talk to me 
<2023-05-15T07:23:35.000Z> em: Lol
<2023-05-15T07:23:47.000Z> graf: im not trying to turn you on or anything but its cute if you are, im just thinking about it
<2023-05-15T07:23:52.000Z> graf: you had a big surprise face
<2023-05-15T07:24:05.000Z> em: BUT seriously, yes thinking about you 
<2023-05-15T07:24:09.000Z> em: About that 
<2023-05-15T07:24:28.000Z> em: Makes me hornt ,&& baby fever 
<2023-05-15T07:24:38.000Z> graf: but you have one coming u cant be greedy
<2023-05-15T07:25:33.000Z> em: With babies, yes I can lol , because hush 😅🤫 I always figured I'd have plenty...... 
<2023-05-15T07:25:56.000Z> graf: my sister is from my moms first relationship, shes mid 50s now 
<2023-05-15T07:26:00.000Z> graf: i never knew until i was mid 20s
<2023-05-15T07:26:37.000Z> em: D: they're so cute and little and then they grow up and you need more ... The issue with this one is I still can't feel him so it's like ... I'm allowed to have the baby fever 
<2023-05-15T07:26:53.000Z> em: All my siblings are half siblings .... Obviously ha
<2023-05-15T07:27:06.000Z> em: But I never thought about it enough to care
<2023-05-15T07:27:42.000Z> graf: im closer with my sister than my brother
<2023-05-15T07:27:53.000Z> em: I'm so connected to my bother who won't even meet me 
<2023-05-15T07:27:56.000Z> graf: my mom told me my dad told her on his death bed he liked me much more than my brother because i was caring, compassionate 
<2023-05-15T07:28:02.000Z> graf: my brother only cares about himself
<2023-05-15T07:28:07.000Z> em: :0
<2023-05-15T07:28:18.000Z> em: That's honestly 
<2023-05-15T07:28:20.000Z> em: Like 
<2023-05-15T07:28:24.000Z> em: Good 
<2023-05-15T07:28:37.000Z> graf: he told my mom i was much more what he was and what he expected from his children
<2023-05-15T07:28:43.000Z> graf: i think thats why he told me to take care of my mom
<2023-05-15T07:28:43.000Z> em: I never got my dad to admit I was his favorite but I knew I was lol
<2023-05-15T07:29:01.000Z> em: ❤️😭🥺
<2023-05-15T07:29:03.000Z> em: Awhh
<2023-05-15T07:29:23.000Z> em: I love your relationship with your father
<2023-05-15T07:29:57.000Z> graf: he was almost born in 1949 
<2023-05-15T07:30:01.000Z> graf: ended up being january 5 1950
<2023-05-15T07:30:11.000Z> graf: my mom is a couple months later in late may 1950
<2023-05-15T07:30:17.000Z> graf: next sunday it looks like
<2023-05-15T07:31:19.000Z> em: Wow they were so close in age 
<2023-05-15T07:31:23.000Z> graf: oh for future reference ive never had a drug addiction
<2023-05-15T07:31:28.000Z> em: what's their story? High School sweethearts
<2023-05-15T07:31:29.000Z> graf: im so much older than you 
<2023-05-15T07:31:33.000Z> graf: 😳 
<2023-05-15T07:31:59.000Z> graf: they knew eachother in high school but drifted apart. my dad went to the bar my mom worked at and they rekindled when they were 19 but my mom already had my sister
<2023-05-15T07:32:00.000Z> em: It's funny you mention that I wanted to ask since you were with drug users but I was got the impression you never really got into that stuff
<2023-05-15T07:32:08.000Z> graf: 10 years later they had my brother, then 7 after that me
<2023-05-15T07:32:11.000Z> em: Not too much ...lol
<2023-05-15T07:32:41.000Z> em: It's never too late for love ❤️
<2023-05-15T07:32:59.000Z> graf: i got introduced to my drug addict ex's from tinder
<2023-05-15T07:33:02.000Z> graf: ill never use it again
<2023-05-15T07:33:20.000Z> graf: i found you on twitter
<2023-05-15T07:33:25.000Z> graf: and i found gf on poast
<2023-05-15T07:33:44.000Z> em: I'll never forget meeting you on Twitter 😂
<2023-05-15T07:33:46.000Z> graf: she lives in toronto but is from near helsinki finland, they moved here when she was 12
<2023-05-15T07:33:56.000Z> graf: they are citizens now
<2023-05-15T07:34:02.000Z> graf: maybe one day you will be too
<2023-05-15T07:34:03.000Z> em: That's actually pretty cool
<2023-05-15T07:34:12.000Z> graf: her whole family is girls, they're all super blonde, bright blue eyes
<2023-05-15T07:34:29.000Z> graf: anyway im sure you dont care
<2023-05-15T07:34:31.000Z> graf: im just rambling
<2023-05-15T07:34:41.000Z> graf: i just was mentioning because i wont use tinder or something again
<2023-05-15T07:34:50.000Z> graf: using twitter allowed me to get to know you on a baser level
<2023-05-15T07:34:52.000Z> em: Sounds like the dream for many online, blonde girl fascinations. 
<2023-05-15T07:34:53.000Z> graf: to know who you were inside
<2023-05-15T07:34:55.000Z> graf: and what made you tick
<2023-05-15T07:35:49.000Z> em: I used to think it was super rare until I moved here, there's so many damn blondes lol but I guess everyone in my area is Czech ? 
<2023-05-15T07:36:01.000Z> graf: kinda cute
<2023-05-15T07:36:14.000Z> graf: never had a czech girl but i would trade her for a 'crazy' greek girl any day
<2023-05-15T07:36:50.000Z> em: Lol , you're cute ... 
<2023-05-15T07:36:59.000Z> em: by chance did you see that crazy Greek woman video that went viral like a month ago
<2023-05-15T07:37:09.000Z> graf: no i dont see anything that isnt on poast
<2023-05-15T07:37:13.000Z> graf: i stopped using everything but this website
<2023-05-15T07:37:16.000Z> graf: and my life improved 100%
<2023-05-15T07:37:20.000Z> em: I'll have to find it for you because it made me giggle. 
<2023-05-15T07:37:26.000Z> graf: okay !!!!
<2023-05-15T07:37:44.000Z> graf: its 3:37am but i am going to make macaroni (actually penne because thats what i have) and cheese 
<2023-05-15T07:38:05.000Z> graf: i will bake it for about 45-50 mins then top it with handfuls of pizza mozzarella and bake it so it comes out burnt cheesy and stretchy
<2023-05-15T07:38:07.000Z> graf: ur missing out 
<2023-05-15T07:38:12.000Z> graf: u could help me work off the calories after 
<2023-05-15T07:39:17.000Z> em: 😂 I'm gonna struggle with weight with you aren't I? ( Kidding I can eat pretty much anything ) 
<2023-05-15T07:39:24.000Z> graf: what do you mean
<2023-05-15T07:39:30.000Z> em: that sounds pretty amazing 
<2023-05-15T07:39:32.000Z> graf: i will love you regardless
<2023-05-15T07:39:36.000Z> em: And tasty 
<2023-05-15T07:39:36.000Z> graf: i just like to eat good things somewtimes....
<2023-05-15T07:39:40.000Z> graf: like u
<2023-05-15T07:40:02.000Z> em: I have to stay between 127 and 135 lb or else lol 
<2023-05-15T07:40:41.000Z> em: I've already gained too much weight . Waaaaa the only good thing is it gives me a nice butt but I hate not seeing my cheekbones as much 
<2023-05-15T07:40:51.000Z> em: They're like one of my favorite features 
<2023-05-15T07:40:53.000Z> em: Lol
<2023-05-15T07:40:54.000Z> graf: i tell people my limit is 120
<2023-05-15T07:40:56.000Z> graf: oof.............
<2023-05-15T07:41:01.000Z> graf: yes i miss your butt
<2023-05-15T07:41:02.000Z> em: 😂 
<2023-05-15T07:41:08.000Z> graf: and when you would put oil on tummy and send me videos
<2023-05-15T07:41:09.000Z> graf: fklsdjfkshdj
<2023-05-15T07:41:12.000Z> em: okay but I'm not like five ft
<2023-05-15T07:41:52.000Z> em: If I was 5 ft I'd probably be like 95 pounds because I weighed 114 at 6 ft lol and anything less than 95 would be scary
<2023-05-15T07:42:00.000Z> em: Weights weird lol 
<2023-05-15T07:42:41.000Z> graf: you were always sexy to me no matter what 
<2023-05-15T07:42:47.000Z> em: Besides I like having a little bit of curve 🫣 I know you like them super skinny but I don't know after gaining 4 in to my hips if I'm ever going to be a stick again 
<2023-05-15T07:42:50.000Z> graf: i like that you always tried to be no matter what
<2023-05-15T07:42:52.000Z> graf: it meant a lot to me
<2023-05-15T07:43:14.000Z> em: Heh 
<2023-05-15T07:43:50.000Z> em: I'm quite a chameleon so I'm not worried 
<2023-05-15T07:43:54.000Z> em: 💜
<2023-05-15T07:44:18.000Z> graf: dont focus on your image, its not healthy 
<2023-05-15T07:44:28.000Z> em: I focus on health
<2023-05-15T07:44:28.000Z> graf: i am however thinking about you trying your best to please me
<2023-05-15T07:44:46.000Z> em: I know where I look good weight wise and when I'm healthy
<2023-05-15T07:44:57.000Z> em: Heh
<2023-05-15T07:45:27.000Z> em: I'm pretty small boned so less is best .. 
<2023-05-15T07:45:31.000Z> em: But anyway 
<2023-05-15T07:45:44.000Z> graf: ive got a bone for you come over 
<2023-05-15T07:45:46.000Z> graf: 😉 
<2023-05-15T07:47:31.000Z> em: Be there in ten hours 
<2023-05-15T07:47:42.000Z> graf: you would never
<2023-05-15T07:47:48.000Z> graf: but if you did, i would fix all of your problems for you
<2023-05-15T07:47:50.000Z> graf: if you let me
<2023-05-15T07:47:58.000Z> em: I can't drive rn or I would 
<2023-05-15T07:47:59.000Z> em: Lol
<2023-05-15T07:48:03.000Z> em: 💋
<2023-05-15T07:48:57.000Z> graf: what are you thinking about
<2023-05-15T07:49:03.000Z> graf: its so late for you.. its been so lon since you were awake this late
<2023-05-15T07:51:31.000Z> em: Yeah I can't believe it lol I've been yawning but I'm pretty satisfied with my conversation so no complaints
<2023-05-15T07:52:06.000Z> graf: aw dont be sleepy, i will be here whenever you need me. if im not awake you can call my phone, if im asleep i usually dont answer it but it will wake me up
<2023-05-15T07:52:06.000Z> em: I can hear the wind whistling and I wish my kitty would come in bed with me
<2023-05-15T07:52:23.000Z> em: I would love to hear your voice again soon
<2023-05-15T07:52:35.000Z> graf: hmm, maybe tomorrow night
<2023-05-15T07:52:37.000Z> graf: if u have time
<2023-05-15T07:52:52.000Z> em: maybe poke a little fun at your cute accent that you deny having lol 
<2023-05-15T07:52:55.000Z> em: Lol 
<2023-05-15T07:53:02.000Z> graf: i dont :((((((
<2023-05-15T07:53:03.000Z> em: Id like that btw 
<2023-05-15T07:53:47.000Z> em: Ok you don't 👀
<2023-05-15T07:53:52.000Z> em: Hehehe 
<2023-05-15T07:54:00.000Z> graf: just weird words like about
<2023-05-15T07:54:05.000Z> graf: most canadians are much worse
<2023-05-15T07:54:07.000Z> graf: you yourself even told me
<2023-05-15T07:54:29.000Z> em: I know, I'm just being a 💩
<2023-05-15T07:54:35.000Z> em: It's cute 
<2023-05-15T07:54:38.000Z> graf: you're cute
<2023-05-15T07:54:39.000Z> em: Ok :) 
<2023-05-15T07:54:54.000Z> em: Aww shucks
<2023-05-15T07:55:16.000Z> graf: why you say that
<2023-05-15T07:55:26.000Z> graf: you know i think you're probably the most beautiful person ive ever known
<2023-05-15T07:57:13.000Z> em: I find it hard to believe, but I'll take the compliment because ❤️
<2023-05-15T07:57:33.000Z> graf: how could you not believe it. ive fawned over you for years
<2023-05-15T08:01:09.000Z> em: Maybe the bonding had a wee bit to do with it lol , or perhaps a true spark ... Because I struggle with the fact that you literally have a younger girlfriend, with bright blue eyes and blonde hair ... Etc I'm sure you would be called crazy for it.  Maybe not by all because there are med enthusiasts lol but overall I suppose Love is pure like that... We're into what we're into, no explanations needed
<2023-05-15T08:02:18.000Z> graf: yeah this relationship is held together with duct tape 
<2023-05-15T08:02:28.000Z> graf: its fine
<2023-05-15T08:03:05.000Z> em: Duct tape is pretty incredible for what it is you can't deny that
<2023-05-15T08:03:13.000Z> em: you know how much I've held together with duct tape
<2023-05-15T08:03:16.000Z> em: Lol
<2023-05-15T08:03:24.000Z> em: If I could find you old photos of my BMW you would laugh
<2023-05-15T08:04:55.000Z> graf: why do you think that
<2023-05-15T08:05:07.000Z> em: Pssst... We can only hope for the best ...for each other as we work on what we've got working for us, right?   
<2023-05-15T08:05:40.000Z> em: && because my bimmer in the end was nigger rigged to the Max
<2023-05-15T08:05:45.000Z> em: I wish I still had her 
<2023-05-15T08:06:27.000Z> graf: if you hope for the best for both of us, try not to dwell on my relationship. things will work out 
<2023-05-15T08:06:35.000Z> graf: you will upset yourself the more you dwell o nit
<2023-05-15T08:06:58.000Z> em: I'm not dwelling on it, I was poking some fun, humor is all I've got sometimes to get by
<2023-05-15T08:07:21.000Z> em: I mean if anything it's kind of complimentary to her and myself 
<2023-05-15T08:07:38.000Z> graf: how so
<2023-05-15T08:13:18.000Z> graf: you're so young even to me, we are what 8 years apart? 9?
<2023-05-15T08:15:13.000Z> em: Because it was, was it not? I did not insult either of us, I just said people like what they like there is just as much of a "interest" for the milf as their is for the /almost Virgin 
<2023-05-15T08:15:36.000Z> em: 8 Maybe 
<2023-05-15T08:15:55.000Z> graf: oh i thought you meant this convo being complementary to her
<2023-05-15T08:16:10.000Z> graf: you're so young
<2023-05-15T08:16:16.000Z> graf: 😢 
<2023-05-15T08:17:28.000Z> em: You're nervous about 40 aren't you 
<2023-05-15T08:17:47.000Z> graf: im nervous that i dont really have anything to show for it
<2023-05-15T08:17:54.000Z> graf: i dont have a family. or really anything other than poast
<2023-05-15T08:18:01.000Z> graf: im nervous to die alone and it's coming soon
<2023-05-15T08:18:03.000Z> em: That midlife crisis age. Completely normal. 
<2023-05-15T08:18:12.000Z> em: Maybe we give you family before 40
<2023-05-15T08:18:30.000Z> em: You still have that salt and pepper beard ? 
<2023-05-15T08:18:43.000Z> graf: haha yeah its worse now
<2023-05-15T08:18:44.000Z> em: Are we getting more salt than pepper ? 
<2023-05-15T08:18:57.000Z> graf: poast is draining the color out of it for sure
<2023-05-15T08:19:35.000Z> em: I still dig it :) 
<2023-05-15T08:19:40.000Z> graf: noooooo
<2023-05-15T08:19:45.000Z> graf: youre so young its probably yucky to you
<2023-05-15T08:19:50.000Z> em: Children will take the rest
<2023-05-15T08:19:54.000Z> em: Hahaha 
<2023-05-15T08:20:18.000Z> em: Genetically, my family gets the most sparkly beautiful hair 
<2023-05-15T08:20:23.000Z> em: I low key can't wait until 
<2023-05-15T08:20:35.000Z> em: But I'll dye if I start to look too old don't worry 
<2023-05-15T08:20:41.000Z> em: 😂
<2023-05-15T08:20:43.000Z> graf: dont i love your hair
<2023-05-15T08:20:46.000Z> graf: i would play with it forever
<2023-05-15T08:21:31.000Z> em: I can't wait for the day 
<2023-05-15T08:22:17.000Z> graf: it can happen sooner rather than later
<2023-05-15T08:22:21.000Z> graf: its all up to u
<2023-05-15T08:22:53.000Z> em: I better get some sleep when you get your food , and I can have pleasant dreams bc you 😘 
<2023-05-15T08:23:10.000Z> graf: i will be here when you wake up
<2023-05-15T08:23:16.000Z> graf: xo love you emma sweet dreams
<2023-05-15T08:24:04.000Z> em: Thanks for warm feeling in my tummy 💝 I love you too!  Enjoy your dinner breakfast!! Gn 
<2023-05-15T08:24:12.000Z> em: ❤️
<2023-05-15T08:25:07.000Z> graf: 💞 
<2023-05-15T14:54:03.000Z> em: Woke up without a headache, first time in weeks...also really good dream... Gonna go make myself coffee ☕ hope you are having good morning too .. thank you again 🌹
<2023-05-15T22:47:50.000Z> graf: hi glad you're feeling better I just woke up lol
<2023-05-15T23:34:16.000Z> graf: come back 
<2023-05-17T06:17:29.000Z> em: :)
<2023-05-17T06:17:34.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-05-17T06:17:37.000Z> graf: i love you so much
<2023-05-17T06:17:38.000Z> em: Hey hey 
<2023-05-17T06:17:52.000Z> em: I Love you too! How are you doing today 
<2023-05-17T06:17:57.000Z> graf: i just spent over 50 grand on bills
<2023-05-17T06:18:02.000Z> graf: i want to hug so bad
<2023-05-17T06:18:08.000Z> em: Jesus omg how lol 
<2023-05-17T06:18:15.000Z> em: *hugs*
<2023-05-17T06:18:23.000Z> graf: poast costs about 30 grand a month
<2023-05-17T06:18:26.000Z> graf: please hug me
<2023-05-17T06:18:30.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-05-17T06:18:33.000Z> em: AHA 😮
<2023-05-17T06:18:33.000Z> graf: talk to me
<2023-05-17T06:18:35.000Z> graf: i need you
<2023-05-17T06:18:50.000Z> em: I can't even imagine that honestly , that's so wild 
<2023-05-17T06:19:12.000Z> graf: how much do you need to fix your van
<2023-05-17T06:19:14.000Z> graf: be honest
<2023-05-17T06:19:19.000Z> em: I'm here tho, hi hi 
<2023-05-17T06:19:54.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-05-17T06:19:59.000Z> em: && I was told it would be about three grand when I had it looked at last year 
<2023-05-17T06:20:04.000Z> em: Yes yes ? 
<2023-05-17T06:20:14.000Z> graf: okay send me paypal address
<2023-05-17T06:20:19.000Z> graf: i will pay you that right now
<2023-05-17T06:21:23.000Z> em: That made my tummy drop lol , but I know better than to argue gifts I think? Let me see what the email is. I haven't used PayPal in a while 😅
<2023-05-17T06:30:02.000Z> em: Lol it's literally my name 
<2023-05-17T06:30:15.000Z> em: I lost my creativity 
<2023-05-17T06:30:21.000Z> em: 😂
<2023-05-17T06:31:27.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-05-17T06:31:31.000Z> graf: i want to kiss you so bad
<2023-05-17T06:32:10.000Z> em: I've been thinking about that myself pretty much all throughout the day heh 
<2023-05-17T06:32:15.000Z> em: Well, you, not me 
<2023-05-17T06:32:18.000Z> em: Lol
<2023-05-17T06:32:32.000Z> graf: noora will be here tomorrow
<2023-05-17T06:32:43.000Z> graf: i will talk to her about this when she leaves
<2023-05-17T06:33:02.000Z> graf: are you absolutely certain you want me
<2023-05-17T06:33:06.000Z> graf: this is your chance to back out
<2023-05-17T06:33:24.000Z> graf: if you even have a hint of concern back out
<2023-05-17T06:39:06.000Z> em: The only concern I have would be leaving my mother here in this big ol house, I have no concerns about you. My feelings are sincere.  I don't want you to jump straight back into being alone while I have months here alone too ( I'm thankful for it ) I did contact my ex ,, if he would just understand where I'm coming from but he's in denial. Best I can do is make it clear in person in Oct ... So if you'd like to give it til then as well, that is up to you love. 
<2023-05-17T06:40:10.000Z> em: ❤️
<2023-05-17T06:40:25.000Z> graf: okay emma why cant i go visit you and you come  visit me
<2023-05-17T06:40:33.000Z> graf: why do we need  to isolate your mom
<2023-05-17T06:41:02.000Z> em: That is what I would propose:) glad to be on same page 
<2023-05-17T06:41:20.000Z> em: Yay (:
<2023-05-17T06:41:46.000Z> graf: im going to fight you very soon
<2023-05-17T06:41:50.000Z> graf: ur mean
<2023-05-17T06:42:16.000Z> em: Fight me why 😂
<2023-05-17T06:42:21.000Z> em: Am I missing something 
<2023-05-17T06:42:23.000Z> em: D;
<2023-05-17T06:42:27.000Z> graf: emma
<2023-05-17T06:42:30.000Z> graf: you're so cute
<2023-05-17T06:42:34.000Z> graf: call me and read to me pls
<2023-05-17T06:42:50.000Z> em: 😂 that's cute
<2023-05-17T06:43:14.000Z> graf: ? im waiting
<2023-05-17T06:44:01.000Z> em: 👀 oh dear hahahaha
<2023-05-17T06:44:08.000Z> em: I suppose I could 
<2023-05-17T06:44:38.000Z> graf: nah its clear you dont really care to. ill be gone for a week or two and ill message you when im home again
<2023-05-17T06:45:05.000Z> em: It's not clear at all Goofy. You know I'm just embarrassed by my reading capabilities but I would more than enjoy calling you
<2023-05-17T06:45:26.000Z> em: I did get books for my birthday
<2023-05-17T06:45:41.000Z> em: Where you going for a week or two ? 👀
<2023-05-17T06:48:02.000Z> em: 1 319 432 2327
<2023-05-17T06:48:42.000Z> em: If you can try that number , I want to see if the free Canada calls texts go thru / come thru 
<2023-05-17T06:48:47.000Z> em: I haven't used the phone yet 
<2023-05-17T07:13:18.000Z> em: Having such a better night now ty 
<2023-05-17T07:13:35.000Z> graf: i wish i would kiss you
<2023-05-17T07:16:35.000Z> graf: GET OFF I WAS TRYING TO CSLL YOU 
<2023-05-17T07:21:16.000Z> em: thelostbookproject.com/
<2023-05-17T07:43:28.000Z> em: I'm sorry 😞 idk what's going on with my service... But maybe we talk later. I'll go read outside tomorrow. Open skies 
<2023-05-17T07:44:06.000Z> em: Pls have good night love ❤️ 
<2023-05-17T23:01:34.000Z> em: So I am curious, how exactly does poast make you money 
<2023-05-17T23:01:55.000Z> em: Idk why I've been thinking about that all day. I mean I know people make money form websites but how does it work 