<2022-12-22T07:37:11.000Z> chococroissant: nozaki! could I please join mugicha? I am half finnish and tsumugi loves finland! I also love mugicha the tea and i drink it hot or cold! 
<2022-12-22T16:29:03.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Hello Chocobread, I am grateful to receive your request. As a woman, per our old policy I would not allow your membership. Nothing personal, I'm sure you are a nice person. However we now allow women if they agree to marry one of the zoomers here. There are 4 I think, all upstanding young men, though a little rough around the edges. Is that something you would consider?
<2022-12-22T19:50:48.000Z> chococroissant: haha dang well it's alright, I'll stay on Poast. I'm moving out of the country to escape getting an arranged marriage, so I wouldn't sign up for another one. I respect gatekeeping so no worries. Keep having your fun over there. Maybe I'll try breaking in again someday 
<2022-12-22T23:18:29.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I understand, Poast is still fun, and it's not like there's something special about here other than the users. Speaking of them, out of the zoomers here there are some nice ones if you are looking for a BF at some point. All romantics at heart. I have to look out for my little brothers so please don't hold it against me for trying to set you up with one of them.
<2022-12-22T23:19:47.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I have to ask because you are mentioning it, do you mean you parents are trying to introduce you to someone or an actual formal arranged marriage? I suprised there are people who still do that and I'm curious. Please don
<2022-12-22T23:19:58.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: don't feel pressured to answer.
<2022-12-22T23:59:37.000Z> chococroissant: mugicha is special because the name is so cute! poast sounds like toast though, so it's cute enough for me. If any of your men live in Tokyo then I will honestly give them a chance, since I'll be living there next month. So long as they are white or ne asian and not fat.
<2022-12-23T00:01:49.000Z> chococroissant: As for the marriage thing, I was born in the moonies cult. People born into it have to get married to someone else also born into it. A lot of people get matched through a church leader or by their parents. I'm just tired of it all and don't believe in all of it so I'm leaving to be far away and independent. 
<2022-12-23T00:04:24.000Z> chococroissant: even though theres a lot of moonies... in japan... TT_TT
<2022-12-23T04:17:43.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I see, that makes sense to me now. I was wondering if that was the case. I'm Japanese but was born and raised in the US, and I know quite a few moonies. They kind of run the seafood supply chains here so it's hard to not know them. One of my good friends growing up is still one, I think. We don't talk much about religion anymore. He got married young and has 3 kids now so it doesn't seem too bad.
<2022-12-23T04:19:29.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I'm a little sympathetic to your story and you seem like a very sweet young woman. Getting some space from growing up in that environment is a good idea. I travelled a lot in my early 20s (what I assume you are) and it was good for me.
<2022-12-23T04:24:29.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Please stay in touch Chocobread, I have a younger sister similar in age to you and places like fedi are a not a good place for people like you. I hate to say stuff like this but this whole thing is triggering my big brother complex, so please under no circumstances post anything compromising about yourself online. Especially pics. I've been in these right-wing circles for a long time, and it's destroyed a lot of girls because they think they find a nice guy but then later he leaks the pics
<2022-12-23T04:25:30.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Even if your friends and family are a little strange (my friend is too lol) I'm sure they want the best for you. Learning to keep healthy boundaries with them is part of growing up.
<2022-12-23T04:29:58.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: This is much more than I intended to type. Sorry if this is not what you were expecting today. I am concerned, but I don't want to overstep. If you would like please stay in touch.
<2022-12-23T06:04:26.000Z> chococroissant: aaah no way! thats so crazy! wow I cant believe you know some of us! Yes we're very big in the seafood industry! I'm not really into the church but thats still so good to hear that you knew us. Yes, most of the members are very good and honest people. I could probably get a handsome jp guy if I really tried. It just feels very restricting and I'm just so worn out. You have to be pretty active in the church to meet guys, otherwise men and women dont talk to each other 
<2022-12-23T06:06:10.000Z> chococroissant: ha Im almost mid 20s! I travelled a lot in Asia and really wanted to move there! Yes, I think I'll be able to change a lot as a person when I can make more decisions~ 
<2022-12-23T06:08:37.000Z> chococroissant: What you say about fedi is sadly true. I like finding little groups online where I don't really belong. I don't know much about society so for me it's a way to learn whats going on but it's sometimes too much. And it's scary when everyones a guy lol. 
<2022-12-23T06:14:41.000Z> chococroissant: and thank you for your advice. Sadly I think I needed to hear that. I like to think I'm cute so I would probably eventually share something really stupid. You're really right. Thanks for looking out for me there. I won't post so openly ^^
<2022-12-23T06:16:15.000Z> chococroissant: thank you for your messages ^^
<2022-12-23T18:27:01.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I understand what you mean when you say you feel worn out and restricted. Everyone feels that way when we're young. Part of growing up is learning how to set healthy boundaries with your parents and authority figures. While you're in Japan it would be a good idea to have intentional conversations with your parents on a regular basis. You can set the timing of course, but maybe once a week or something. Distance can help with talking about subjects that are harder in person.
<2022-12-23T18:30:02.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Being in a place like fedi with lots of guys can be a good way for a young woman to learn how to deal with men. But you need to be careful just like IRL. For example, online people cannot be in your physical space easily, but they can take up your "internal" space space via your attention. I'm assuming you grew up somewhat sheltered, so it might be tricky to learn these kinds of things now as an adult. I can promise you that you can ask me anything, I will not judge you nor expect anything.
<2022-12-23T18:31:23.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: In fact I would prefer to have just a regular friendship. I want to make sure that your time away from your family is a positive one with as few growing pains as possible. If I ever overstep my bounds though feel free to tell me to fuck off. I'm not your dad.
<2022-12-23T18:31:30.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I know you guys aren'
<2022-12-23T18:32:56.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: t allowed to date, so your experience with men is very limited. If you want to try dating in Japan (I don't think it's a great idea though tbh) then you need to set boundaries for yourself now. Like what would you be comfortable with. I feel like Japanese men would have certain expectations of a western woman, but that might not be the case. Just don't do anything you're not comfortable with.
<2022-12-23T18:34:12.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I won't white knight for you, it's important to learn how to deal with men on your own, but if you need advice on anything irl in Japan or on fedi please let me know.
<2022-12-23T22:11:33.000Z> chococroissant: Hmm thank you. I have thought a lot about what you have said. Currently if I broach the subject of wanting to date outside people, my parents are quick to become furious and depressed. It has caused stress, so I appreciate your advice on boundaries. As you said, once I am far away I will take time for myself to set healthy boundaries. I've always been someone who goes along with anything and it is difficult for me to say no, so I will make some clear boundaries to strictly abide by. 
<2022-12-23T22:11:50.000Z> chococroissant: Even so, I will do what I can to maintain a healthy and loving relationship between my parents and myself. 
<2022-12-23T22:12:12.000Z> chococroissant: I'll probably stay on fedi to see what's going on over here, but I'll keep communication limited. I'm much more comfortable posting on women websites, I just agree with the more serious topics over here.
<2022-12-23T22:12:46.000Z> chococroissant: To me you have not overstepped any bounds. My older brother is a dependent little pissbaby so I appreciate actual straightforward advice. I love my own father and am not looking for a surrogate father either haha. I disagree with him but that's the extent of it. I also don't like guys who defend women online just because, so thank you. If I say something retarded I will face the flames lol
<2022-12-23T22:13:16.000Z> chococroissant: I am sheltered but I still aim to someday try dating, probably in Japan. I'm under the impression most would view me as easy and temporary so I'll keep my head straight and look for someone serious. I've seen it happen so I think that it is possible.
<2022-12-24T01:09:53.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: You have a good head on your shoulders. I'm sure you have heard similar things like this growing up, but something like love is very important to protect to allow it grow into something beautiful. The boundaries you set with others are an important part of exploration in safe way. For both the men you will meet and also for your family. It's as easy as saying "I don't want to" or laughing stuff off and moving on with the conversation. I think you will be alright. 
<2022-12-24T01:10:38.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Stay in touch if you have anything you would like to talk about. I'll be praying for your growth and safety.
<2022-12-24T20:41:49.000Z> chococroissant: Thank you so much! I'll definitely drop by to talk once I've settled there! Thank you for setting my head straight! 
<2022-12-30T01:50:27.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Chocobread you draw? Did you do your avi?
<2022-12-30T01:51:04.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I ask because I want to commission some cute Mugi doodles but I don't know why artists.
<2022-12-30T02:11:47.000Z> chococroissant: I did! I just now threw together a bunch of drawings ive done so you can see if/what i can draw 
<2022-12-30T02:12:19.000Z> chococroissant attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/90b89e13549881be8a78b2ef694edf35d094fad66db99d80a17a003c6a282ad3.png
<2022-12-30T02:12:39.000Z> chococroissant: i try different styles so its really all over the place sorry 
<2022-12-30T02:12:49.000Z> chococroissant: and i dont post them anywhere online 
<2022-12-30T03:03:21.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: These are great! What is the best way to get money to you for commissions? 
<2022-12-30T03:14:44.000Z> chococroissant: honestly i dont really need any money, I appreciate the practice 
<2022-12-30T03:15:05.000Z> chococroissant: I'd be uncomfortable accepting money at my level 
<2022-12-30T03:43:11.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: That's cool. I'd have a couple simple requests if that's ok then. I will try to come up with some references later.
<2022-12-30T04:13:54.000Z> chococroissant: sounds good! let me know when you have something~
<2023-01-16T04:39:04.000Z> chococroissant: i just posted the ugliest thing ive ever seen in my life but i swear i can do better TTATT
<2023-01-16T05:45:37.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: You mean your Sothis drawing? It's great! Sure it could be improved but it's not like you're a pro. You're still figuring things out and it's very nice to receive OC. It has a lot of soul and feeling in it. I'm sure Graf is very flattered by it.
<2023-01-16T06:12:01.000Z> chococroissant: I literally cant even look at it!! but thank you!! there was all this armor and braids aahh i've been in the trenches ;A; but thank you!! swear I can do better >:| 
<2023-01-31T00:41:05.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Are you on a layover right now on your way to Japan?
<2023-01-31T00:47:09.000Z> chococroissant: ahh i wish! I just saw those pictures online
<2023-01-31T00:47:28.000Z> chococroissant: Hopefully I should be going in around 2 weeks. 
<2023-01-31T01:51:01.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Oh you haven't gone yet? That might be a blessing in disguise. Have you had all the important conversations with your parents?
<2023-01-31T02:23:08.000Z> chococroissant: I actually did! My mom actually sat down with me and explained that she and my dad just want me to be safe and happy, and they understand I might look for someone outside of the church there. As long as I do things properly and follow my conscience.  
<2023-01-31T02:25:28.000Z> chococroissant: I seriously neeever thought I'd hear that from them. I'm really happy that was resolved before I leave though! 
<2023-01-31T02:28:21.000Z> chococroissant: My employer though is secretly in the church. He said he'd cover my first month of rent, but now im hearing I'll be staying at a dormitory in the beginning instead,, which will probably be full of church members T0T since we have a lot of dormitories
<2023-01-31T06:39:03.000Z> chococroissant: also, just so I know, are multiple ear piercings a red flag for guys?
<2023-02-02T19:09:32.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Happy for you. It would be good to be able to share with your parents (maybe more your mom) about what's going on with your time in Japan. You might have to work at the wrinkles a little, but it will be worth it long term. Having open communication with your parents is a big deal that not many people can have.
<2023-02-02T19:11:16.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Try your best to get situated, it's normal to have some weird places when you first make a big move like this. Later it will be a funny story, and you might even make some friends. If your boss is in the church you might have some issues though. Just don''
<2023-02-02T19:11:25.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: t tip your hand too much.
<2023-02-02T19:13:55.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: sorry, old man boomer fingers. As for dating in Japan as a white girl, it might be hard. My personal opinion is that they are going to think you're easy. Piercings would add to that image imo. But don't worry about it too much off the bat. Just get comfortable in Japan first before thinking about dating. You probably have a lot of things you need to figure out, like housing, furniture, etc
<2023-02-02T19:14:41.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Just be careful, japanese guys may seem harmless but there are plenty of forward ones too. 
<2023-02-06T05:29:55.000Z> chococroissant: wahoo!（＠￣∇￣＠）I'll do my best to have an open communication while I'm there. They get bothered really easily, but I'll still try to be honest. 
<2023-02-06T05:33:03.000Z> chococroissant: ahh and that's true! about the housing situation. Hopefully it can be a fun story if it does turn out to be church people. You're right that it should make the transition easier, since its apparently like impossible for foreigners to find rentals 
<2023-02-06T05:41:38.000Z> chococroissant: and yeah! I'm excited to finally try to find someone, but yeah, maybe I should really ease into all that. Its just nerve wracking getting older with no experience, mama mia (Ｔ▽Ｔ) the thought of flirting is very bleh. so yeah, I'll eeeaaasee into that stuff eesh. whatta world  
<2023-02-06T05:46:42.000Z> chococroissant: but I think i should be leaving late this week? so I guess we'll see soon ╮(─▽─)╭ thank you for the advice as always! <( ＿ ＿)>
<2023-02-07T03:54:48.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: That's great that you're leaving soon. It's very exciting step forward. Don't worry too much about guys yet. Just focus on figuring your situation out. Like what does your daily life look like? What goals do you have for the trip? One those are clear you can start thinking about a relationship figure out how to connect that to your goals 
<2023-02-07T23:56:21.000Z> chococroissant: I will! I'll keep the ol noggin straight and make some goals. I'll let ya know how things are going a bit later down the line! 
<2023-02-16T17:13:03.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Hey chocobread, did you arrive safely? How is everything?
<2023-02-19T08:48:02.000Z> chococroissant: Ahh it's something! 
<2023-02-19T08:49:08.000Z> chococroissant: Yes, the dormitory is a church guesthouse. I don't have a bed, no less a room, as we just use futons at night. The house is always completely freezing except for one room at a time~ 
<2023-02-19T08:50:22.000Z> chococroissant: So I went looking for apartments with a friend today~ it has been stressful not fitting in. I knew it'd be impossible, but it's more uncomfortable than I thought. It's a bit easier as a tourist, since the mindset is that everything is temporary. 
<2023-02-19T08:53:12.000Z> chococroissant: It seems everyone around me is pushing me to be involved in church activities, and my boss is a strict member :')
<2023-02-19T20:57:41.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Assuming you got your visa through your parent's connections it makes sense that he would be strict. Even in with most Christians in Japan it can be harsh. I'm lucky to have grown up in the US. Everything will be very uncomfortable for a while as you are getting used a a foreign culture. I don't think it's that bad to hang out with moonies, as long as you don't do anything you're not comfortable with. It can be a good chance to socialize and learn conversational Japanese.
<2023-02-19T20:58:33.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: For now, just try to get your stuff in order. Like an apartment, banking, job, budget. Worry about your social life afterwards.
<2023-02-19T21:01:19.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Also, if you want a friend, I met a Japanese girl on here with good English. I don't know much about her, but she's also in her early 20s somewhere in Japan. If you want I can connect you two, but I'm not sure if you guys are nearby each other. She seems kind of lonely like a lot of us on here, so it might be worth meeting up and getting lunch or something.
<2023-02-19T21:01:43.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: It would be kind of funny if you were both FBI agents though haha
<2023-02-22T23:46:32.000Z> chococroissant: Mmh, yeah the housing situation has gotten more comfortable as I've gotten a bit more used to it. My job has become too consuming now for me to worry too much about everything else anyways 👍
<2023-02-22T23:49:26.000Z> chococroissant: I've slowly started getting the fundamentals in order and am just focusing on work now. I have a good number of people who've reached out to hang out since I'm here now, but honestly, I just want to focus on work now. 
<2023-02-22T23:56:00.000Z> chococroissant: The fedi girl sounds interesting, though. I won't have time to hang out in the beginning, and I have very limited time to messaging (relying on public wifi), but if she's okay with that, then yeah I'm totally open to meeting more people. Feel free to share my account with her :akko_fistup: 
<2023-02-22T23:57:22.000Z> chococroissant: If she's another fed, then all will be according to keikaku...
<2023-02-22T23:57:36.000Z> chococroissant: We're on to you nozaki..
<2023-02-23T03:10:39.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: It's good you're getting used to things. It's a big move so give yourself some time to figure things out. Let me know how things go. I'm praying for your health and growth while there.
<2023-02-23T03:11:32.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I'll let the other fedi girl know your @, hers is reasonabledestruction I think. Hopefully you guys can meet up if it's not too hard. 
<2023-05-17T16:18:26.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Hey Chocobread, how is everything going these days? Did you talk to your mom on Sunday? 
<2023-05-18T03:56:09.000Z> chococroissant: Hey! Things have been going pretty swell! I really enjoy work, and I've been getting more adjusted to the culture shock. I bought a cute bento box and have been practicing making those for work. Today is tonkatsu 👍
<2023-05-18T03:57:22.000Z> chococroissant: I'll have internet connected at my apartment next month, so I can get up to my usual shenanigans then.
<2023-05-18T03:58:50.000Z> chococroissant: I tried going on a date but 😔 it was super uncomfortable. I don't really want to try that again lol 
<2023-05-18T04:05:18.000Z> chococroissant: I have spoken to reasonabledestruction, but we don't live near one another. Still nice to know an internet person here though 👍