<2022-08-11T01:19:10.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: I go out of my way to say this because I know you're hurting, but ol widower Frosche had some paragraphs on the subject of loss that may apply here
<2022-08-11T01:20:01.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I read it. It may be worth rereading, tho. Losing a dog doesn't compare to losing a wife, tho, but it still helps.
<2022-08-11T01:21:24.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: No, it doesn't. But family is family
<2022-08-11T01:22:05.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Anyway this is obviously Frosche (don't spread the word plz) so if you need to chat I'm here
<2022-08-11T01:23:36.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I will keep quiet. Why the alt, tho? And thank you, man, I really appreciate it. I already had my break down over it this week while holding her, so, I think I will be ok. It still hurts, but, well, you know what I am trying to say.
<2022-08-11T01:25:19.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: I deleted my post lol.  This is my primary now.  Went dark during dox fest.  Turns out deleting didn't do anything. Live and learn.I lost my dog 2 years ago.  Wife and I took it really hard because she was there for us through everything.  When I was deployed, it was wife and dog against the world.Lost her.... Lost the wife 
<2022-08-11T01:26:18.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Life kinda blows but I've made it a couple months now without actively thinking about ending it, so beyond a doubt, it gets easier. Whether you're okay with it getting easier or not
<2022-08-11T01:26:31.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I'm sorry, man. I really am. How long ago was it? It may be time for you to get back out there.
<2022-08-11T01:27:27.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: It's only been 7 months. I'm no where near ready. I haven't tossed a single possession of hers
<2022-08-11T01:28:03.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: In any case, I just want you to be okay
<2022-08-11T01:28:03.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Oh, shit, I didn't know it was that recent. I am sorry, man. I didn't realize, otherwise I wouldn't have made the suggestion. 
<2022-08-11T01:29:00.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: It's not going to be easy losing her but it's the best thing you can do to stop her suffering.  Be prepared to be asked how to handle remains and be prepared to have to deal with picking up an urn or what not
<2022-08-11T01:29:01.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I'll be ok, don't worry too much over me. These times are always hard. I just need to keep myself distracted as best I can, I figure. At least, that's how I always deal with these sorts of things.
<2022-08-11T01:29:38.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Yeah, I've been thinking of that stuff, too. I want to keep her ashes if I do end up having to do it...
<2022-08-11T01:29:41.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Yeah same, but it's important to face reality directly too, a chunk at a time, if need be
<2022-08-11T01:30:04.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: My lunch break is over now. I have to get back to it. Stay strong, brother. We are all in this together.
<2022-08-11T01:30:23.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Compartmentalizing this loss too much is unhelpfulAlright bro, you know where to find me
<2022-08-11T01:30:23.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Compartmentalizing this loss too much is unhelpfulAlright bro, you know where to find me
<2022-08-12T01:16:33.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Everyone in my family thinks she is not in pain. She is weak and tired, but she does not seem to be in pain and they keep saying "if we thought she was in pain, then we would recommend having her put to sleep, but it seems she is going as peacefully as possible. As let her spend her last days at home, with her family and best dog friend (both of whom know that something is wrong)".
<2022-08-12T01:16:49.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: And it is true that she does not seem to be in pain.
<2022-08-12T01:17:48.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: My mom said: "If it were me, I would rather spend be at home than go to the hospital, not knowing what is going on and being physically bothered".
<2022-08-12T17:21:03.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: not in pain is good at least
<2022-08-12T17:21:19.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Mine was in pain, throwing up constantly.....
<2022-08-12T17:21:27.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: It was rough
<2022-08-12T17:21:40.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: If yours can still hang out and get loved on, I would take advantage
<2022-08-12T17:21:47.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Give her chicken strips
<2022-08-12T20:01:17.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Oh. You didn't see my last poast.
<2022-08-12T20:01:31.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: She passed away last night while I was at work.
<2022-08-12T20:36:06.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Oh
<2022-08-12T20:36:16.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Yeah I'm sorry bro
<2022-08-12T20:36:30.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: At work..... That's gotta be hard man
<2022-08-12T21:47:53.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Yeah. She was a good dog. I took the day off work and I am with my nephew. He is keeping me distracted.
<2022-08-12T21:55:48.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: That's good, distractions help a lot
<2022-08-13T14:58:07.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE
<2022-08-13T20:48:34.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Tell me about it. But, he apologized, which is something he would never ever do if he didn't realize he was wrong and Pond is going to cut the part where he said that shit from the episode for me, too. So, it is water under the bridge.
<2022-08-13T20:49:13.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Good good.  Need to slap the bottle outta that boy's hand lol
<2022-08-13T20:51:27.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I think it's also cuz I never get pissed off with him, too, so now that I was pissed, it must have counted for something. Idk. All I know is that he didn't believe he fucked up, he would not have apologized, no matter what. So, even tho it was a super quick apology, I know it was sincere.
<2022-08-13T20:53:15.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Glad you guys worked it out. Last thing this shit show needs is another giant schism lolYou holding up alright?
<2022-08-13T20:55:29.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Yes. Just getting used to it all. I keep catching myself getting up to lift her into the bed with me, or to open the door to let her in the room cuz I heard a sound outside that sounded vaguely like one she would make when she was waiting for me to open the door, things like that. I have also been unable to empty her food and water bowls, even this she didn't touch either.
<2022-08-13T20:55:34.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: *tho
<2022-08-13T20:58:11.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Yup.  It was a couple months before I tossed my dogs old beat up blanket and stuff.  A little bit at a time.The sad reality of it is you just kinda get more numb to the pain as time goes on.  The loss never goes away you just feel it less
<2022-08-13T20:58:42.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: It'll be fine.  You move forward a step at a time.  Mostly because there's no alternative ✝️
<2022-08-13T21:00:32.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Appreciate it, man. Thank you.
<2022-08-18T20:36:09.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: You seem like you're doing alright friend
<2022-08-18T20:59:38.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I am. I am still dealing with it being weird, I keep thinking that she is there when she ain't, but I ain't breaking down in tears anymore, thank God. The night she passed and one night before, I broke down and I still can't bring myself to get rid of her last food bowl.
<2022-08-18T21:01:15.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Yeah once you get through the hyperventilating and occasional sobbing at the top of your lungs, the ride feels a lot smoother.No rush on the bowl of course. Hell, you may wish to keep it.  It's nice to hold on to some things
<2022-08-18T21:01:46.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Never forget: you can always toss it later, but once it's gone, you can't go get it again. Never rush that decision
<2022-08-18T21:02:05.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Just uh.... General death advice
<2022-08-18T21:02:58.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Yeah, the only problem is that if I don't toss it soon, it might start molding over. I hope not. But it's all I got left of her.
<2022-08-18T21:03:24.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Hmm.  Don't know how much of an option cleaning is
<2022-08-18T21:03:44.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Of course, vacuum sealing is an option
<2022-08-18T22:34:44.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I just need a few more days, I think. I'm gonna get a grave marker for her as soon as I can and print the few pics I have of her.
<2022-08-18T22:43:28.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: That's good. Pictures are nice if you're able to look at themI have looked at a picture of my wife maybe 10 times in 7 months because it's just impossible. I go into free fall
<2022-08-18T22:44:26.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Well, a dog doesn't compare to a wife, tho. When I broke up with my ex, I couldn't look at any of her pics again. I had to delete them all.
<2022-08-18T22:45:27.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Loss is loss, just a matter of degrees
<2022-08-20T04:51:39.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I think I will be able to toss her bowl once I get a grave marker for her and these pics printed. 
<2022-08-20T04:53:07.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Alright man, that's good.  Letting it go moldy would just twist the knife anyway
<2022-08-20T05:27:12.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: I know. It's just that it's the last thing I have of her. 
<2022-08-20T05:37:38.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Well. all my dog bowls have been porcelain or whatever so for me I'm just like "wash the bowls".
<2022-08-20T06:26:23.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Yeah, my dog's bowl was just one of ours that I repurposed for her.
<2022-09-03T02:23:28.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: Hey champ.  Doin alright?
<2022-09-03T02:50:14.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Yes. Actually, things have been going well. I still miss her, but I was able to finally clean her bowl and things are moving along well. Hbu? How are things on your end, brother?
<2022-09-03T03:42:00.000Z> hikari@shortstackran.ch: uh..... you know, basically the same.  Hard but pushing along
<2022-09-03T04:34:10.000Z> The_Vile_Delinquent: Maybe it would do you some good to start trying to socialize. Stay away from bars and such, cuz idk if you are a risk for alcoholism, but just going to the beach, hitting the gym, hiking and such. It ought to help with your mental health, brother. 