<2021-12-04T21:59:12.000Z> TinyFern: Hey I'm part of the Loving God Loving Sex podcast, which is on a bit of a hiatus since both hosts had babies. Did you want to give it a listen and see if you'd be interested in being a co host? It could be anonymously done over discord if you'd prefer. If you're keen, we could do a couple of practice sessions to see if we click and then start in earnest in January
<2021-12-04T23:04:58.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I would love to give it a listen but honestly I don't think I'd be a very good cohost because I am an autist with no social skills lol
<2021-12-04T23:06:00.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Where can I find it? TRS?
<2021-12-04T23:18:14.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: oh I think I found it
<2021-12-05T04:41:33.000Z> TinyFern: I also have no social skills so idk the podcast might just suck 🤷
<2021-12-05T07:48:26.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I'm not sure which co-host you are
<2021-12-05T07:48:32.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: but both ladies seem to be very good at it
<2021-12-05T07:54:58.000Z> TinyFern: 👍
<2021-12-05T07:55:05.000Z> TinyFern: Thank you 
<2021-12-05T07:56:17.000Z> TinyFern: My baby is having surgery tomorrow and I'll be in the hospital with her for at least a week and then there's Christmas coming up so no rush for anything 
<2021-12-05T08:00:17.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I'm so sorry
<2021-12-05T08:00:30.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I'll keep you in my prayers dear, I hope your baby is going to be okay
<2021-12-05T08:05:27.000Z> TinyFern: We'll see how we go 😊 
<2021-12-05T08:05:51.000Z> TinyFern: It's nice to keep my mind off it 
<2021-12-05T08:10:01.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: God bless you
<2021-12-15T05:12:01.000Z> TinyFern: Hey I like your picture book idea but I see you're still working on making the rhyme scheme consistent and getting the right rhythm. I'm happy to be a sounding board if you need it.
<2021-12-15T05:12:41.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Aw, thank you for your help
<2021-12-15T05:12:45.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I'd be happy to share
<2021-12-15T05:12:59.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I haven't had much time to work on it lately since life has been intense but I'd love to
<2021-12-15T05:13:13.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah I feel that 😅
<2021-12-29T02:55:10.000Z> TinyFern: @TheVeryLutheranHousewife It's worth mentioning that there's a decent chance you won't get to pick, because of emergency circumstances, something congenital, or because you may end up with a condition that requires hospital monitoring (preeclampsia, placenta troubles, etc). I had no risk factors for anything - healthy weight, under 30, no pre-existing conditions, non-smoker, didn't drink or take drugs, took vitamins - and still ended up with problems. As you look into the birthing process you're going to start seeing the same pattern over and over again. Woman goes into labour --> labour doesn't proceed appropriately --> they put her on a Pitocin drip to artificially speed labour --> the Pitocin (artificial oxytocin) makes contractions faster but also more painful, so she's in lots more pain --> gets epidural --> epidural means she can't walk around, so she has to lie down --> labour stalls again since she can't move around --> emergency caesarean. I was a weird case because I had to be induced, the induction stalled, I went for an epidural since I was a few hours away from being shoved into a c-section anyway, and then suddenly labour proceeded. My theory is that I was holding my fantastic pelvic floor muscles tense and as soon as I couldn't feel them I relaxed and dilated 7cm in 4 hours, after sitting at 3cm since basically the night before. I was having strong contractions the whole time, the baby just couldn't go anywhere. Most women are the opposite and find that labour suddenly slows once they can't move around. There's also the chance that your baby will be breech and a natural birth will require a fun procedure called an ECV, which is basically unchanged since ancient Greece, where they basically drug you lightly and then push the baby around. It is... unspeakably unpleasant and I nearly fainted. That said, a lot of things about pregnancy are really really unpleasant. Nurses love poking your cervix repeatedly, all the time, and you're never given anything to not feel it. All that said, I had what in many ways was a worst-case-scenario without anything actually bad happening. Pregnancy was awful, I got really depressed toward the end, baby was breech and I was cynically certain that I would end up with a caesarean, the one thing I didn't want in labour was an episiotomy and they did a huge one... But I got a baby out of it, and it's the best thing ever. Don't get too attached to your plans, expect to have a bad time, be really open and honest with your husband, talk through your instincts and cravings so that you can trust yourself, and you'll be fine. Also try to connect with your MIL and SIL and female friends as much as possible. Embrace the feminine. Pregnancy and childrearing is a time for women to learn what they're really made of, and acting like a man won't get you through it. I also thought a water birth would be neat, so I'd recommend trying that. I got into a midwife program and it was excellent with home visits regularly after the birth, can't recommend strongly enough. 
<2021-12-29T03:00:54.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Thank you so much for all of this, it's truly incredible to have someone give so much advice, I'm so sorry your pregnancy was such a difficult and painful process, my heart aches for you there. At the end of the day my main goal is to not have a c-section, I think if even my plans to not have a full on hospital birth got disrupted, I'd be more than happy with whatever I end up facing so long as it doesn't come to that
<2021-12-29T03:01:16.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Would you, in that case, recommend the epidural to relax the pelvic floor and make labour happen faster?
<2021-12-29T03:05:26.000Z> TinyFern: I fully agree about the C section, my big go was avoiding one. Every outcome is worse and it even impacts stuff like breastfeeding because it's harder to do skin to skin when you can't have the baby against your stomach
<2021-12-29T03:07:36.000Z> TinyFern: Honestly I think I was a weird case. I have a fantastic pelvic floor - TMI but I hate the feeling of oozing blood on my period, so I'll often go to the toilet and suddenly have a flush of blood because I've been unconsciously clenching for hours and then relax when I sit down to pee. Unless you're that kind of unconsciously-clenching muscle strength I can't imagine that an epidural would help
<2021-12-29T03:08:43.000Z> TinyFern: I spend hours walking around, jiggling and moving etc. The more you learn about natural childbirth the more you'll realise that movement is actually an essential part of the process because the baby has to rotate through the birth canal and because gravity really helps the baby go down
<2021-12-29T03:12:55.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I've read a lot about how laying down is actually unnatural and detrimental to the process and the only reason it's done is because one of the upper-class Kings of the past wanted to watch his wives give birth, and so the trend caught on and they got rid of birthing chairs, which existed to make the whole thing easier. Very frustrating 
<2021-12-29T03:12:58.000Z> TinyFern: Vitamin E is connected to birthing difficulties in animals - longer labours, complications - and that's in cod liver oil, liver and butter/ghee, so get on that stuff and you'll be fine. Absolutely get a midwife if you can, they know all about the natural aspects of the process.
<2021-12-29T03:13:23.000Z> TinyFern: Trust me you won't want to sit down the whole time, your body wants to move 
<2021-12-29T03:13:28.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Do you also recommend a doula?
<2021-12-29T03:13:43.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I've heard they are specifically good in advocating against unnecessary c section
<2021-12-29T03:14:16.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: but I come from a low income family so we can't pay for a whole bunch of specialists simultaneously which is hard 
<2021-12-29T03:14:26.000Z> TinyFern: I thought doulas were more an American thing
<2021-12-29T03:14:49.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I think so
<2021-12-29T03:15:03.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: been looking for some in aussieland and have found a few but rather niche and far away from my area
<2021-12-29T03:15:12.000Z> TinyFern: There was an opt-in midwife program at my hospital which my GP got me into, it was all public. See if that's available where you are 
<2021-12-29T03:17:01.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: thank you, I will
<2021-12-29T03:18:54.000Z> TinyFern: I'm trying to find a blog that was really good, it went through the studies on stuff like induction, episiotomy, caesarean, etc and assessed whether they were actually good for maternal health, but I can't find it 
<2021-12-29T03:18:59.000Z> TinyFern: Lemme get back to you
<2021-12-29T03:19:14.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I really appreciate all of this
<2021-12-29T03:19:20.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: it's been more help than you know
<2021-12-29T03:19:44.000Z> TinyFern: I'm always happy to help out, women need to support each other
<2021-12-29T03:20:14.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: ♡
<2021-12-29T03:21:19.000Z> TinyFern: The medical establishment is more concerned with avoiding lawsuits than anything resembling a human experience, and you'll find yourself in a weird space where you get opposing recommendations from different doctors and midwives and nurses and other women. It's so hard to stay sane, so don't be shy about reaching out 
<2021-12-29T03:23:42.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I really do appreciate it, and I'll try to be as transparent about it with my husband as possible too so that he can help me through this
<2021-12-29T03:23:57.000Z> TinyFern: <3
<2021-12-29T03:24:10.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I won't lie, of all things I am nervous about it is really medical treatments, I have an extreme distrust of doctors after some absolute shitshows I've witnessed
<2021-12-29T03:25:58.000Z> TinyFern: Mostly you need to be firm and take somebody with you to appointments. You'll have brain fog and be hormonal and anxious and it's easy to be talked into things
<2021-12-29T03:26:25.000Z> TinyFern: I can't tell you how much I got pressured into doing a C section when my baby was breech
<2021-12-29T03:27:14.000Z> TinyFern: Every single person will tell you it's easier, faster, safer to do it their way. Work out what you want and stick to your guns (unless it's a life on the line)
<2021-12-29T03:29:29.000Z> TinyFern: healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/J_M/Midwifery-Group-Practice
<2021-12-29T03:29:37.000Z> TinyFern: I think that's like the one I was in
<2021-12-29T03:33:43.000Z> TinyFern: evidencebasedbirth.com/
<2021-12-29T03:33:51.000Z> TinyFern: That site is really good for info
<2021-12-29T03:35:24.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: thank you, I will
<2022-01-31T08:12:48.000Z> TinyFern: Hey I hope you're doing ok 
<2022-01-31T08:13:42.000Z> TinyFern: You said you wanted to hear good news, so I wanted to tell you that my baby is doing really well and is even ahead developmentally after surgery in December. She's super chubby and beautiful, just like your babies will be.
<2022-01-31T08:22:14.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Awww
<2022-01-31T08:22:16.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Thank you
<2022-01-31T08:22:21.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: that has put a smile on my face
<2022-01-31T08:22:27.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I'm so happy for you and your family
<2022-04-18T02:01:07.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Hey Tinyfern, my husband told me you were asking how the pregnancy is going while I was away for lent
<2022-04-18T02:01:26.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: just wanted to let you know its been great, I'm finally at the part where I can feel the kicks, and it's been my favourite 
<2022-04-18T02:01:47.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: and I get to find out whether I'm having a son or a daughter tomorrow funnily enough, for my 20 wk ultrasound
<2022-04-18T08:43:22.000Z> TinyFern: That's lovely! I'm so happy for you. Just be aware that it's also a major screening point for complications and something might show up - for boys it's really common that they have a small hole in their hearts which usually closes over before they're six months old, but they will tell you about it anyway. It's a lovely experience to find out the gender but be aware that you might find out other stuff too
<2022-04-18T08:43:44.000Z> TinyFern: I'm genuinely delighted that you're having a great pregnancy 
<2022-04-18T08:44:14.000Z> TinyFern: It was lovely to read about your experiences going rural for a bit, made me wish I had relatives to visit like that 
<2022-04-27T23:46:31.000Z> TinyFern: I'm praying for you and your upcoming birthJust wanted to give a couple of key advice items which may or may not be important 
<2022-04-27T23:46:55.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I cannot thank you enough, as I am admittedly very nervous about the whole thing
<2022-04-27T23:47:09.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I have my first midwife interviews this upcoming monday to learn what I'm doing in terms of all that
<2022-04-27T23:48:59.000Z> TinyFern: 1) breastfeeding is a skill. You have to learn it, your body has to learn it, your baby has to learn it. You are all going to suck in the beginning and that's ok. Follow your cravings, sleep with the baby on your chest (supervised by your husband) for some really high quality sleep and get as much skin contact as you can. Accept that you will be covered in milk for the first few weeks, shower as often as you want, and dress comfortably - I didn't wear a shirt except when we had guests 
<2022-04-27T23:49:14.000Z> TinyFern: People talk a lot about the birth but it's one day of your life 
<2022-04-27T23:49:27.000Z> TinyFern: It's the wedding vs marriage thing really 
<2022-04-27T23:50:31.000Z> TinyFern: Make sure you've talked about what you want with your husband because he will be your advocate. (Or his sister or mum or whoever) you will be confused and emotional and agree to whatever the doctor says in the moment or be paralysed by indecision
<2022-04-27T23:51:10.000Z> TinyFern: I hope you've been eating your ghee and cod liver oil 
<2022-04-27T23:53:27.000Z> TinyFern: Guessing that you'd try to go as natural as possible, I'd recommend going as far as you can without intervention and then going gas then epidural as needed - HOWEVER, by the time I got the gas I asked for I was in too much pain to use it effectively and couldn't get into a good rhythm. Ask for the gas when you're doing pretty well but it's really starting to hurt 
<2022-04-27T23:54:24.000Z> TinyFern: Remember that your body is going to instinctively do the things it needs to do. You should walk, wobble, bounce, etc as feels right to you 
<2022-04-27T23:54:51.000Z> TinyFern: Midwives are great and will do what you ask, often fighting the doctors for you if you have a good one 
<2022-04-27T23:55:48.000Z> TinyFern: You should also get visits after the birth 
<2022-04-27T23:57:41.000Z> TinyFern: Your husband is going to want to help you but you will be a hormonal mess and probably a bit of a control freak about the baby. Whenever possible, give him something to do. He can change the baby for you, hold her while you have a shower, show her the garden while you get dressed. You're going to have really strong urges to snatch your baby off people and should work out a signal to your husband that he should get her back from visitors before you start getting really anxious 
<2022-04-27T23:58:29.000Z> TinyFern: You're going to feel dumb about wanting to stay awake and watch her breathe, or just wanting to be in the same room as her all the time. It's not dumb, it's natural. Go with it.
<2022-04-27T23:59:31.000Z> TinyFern: Your husband will want to play with her or make her react while doing things that you wouldn't do - this is his role just as keeping her comfortable and safe is yours. Don't henpeck him about how he does things unless it's something practical like smearing poop 
<2022-04-27T23:59:51.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Thank you, my milk came in rather early on in the pregnancy and I have an excess, I think it's a thing with the women in my family, so I'm already quite experienced being covered with it and uncomfortable in that regard, although I'd imagine it will get worse, I've been stocking up on lots of lanolin and it's been really heloing ease the pain 
<2022-04-28T00:00:06.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: helping*
<2022-04-28T00:00:28.000Z> TinyFern: That's great, have you been saving the colostrum?
<2022-04-28T00:01:54.000Z> TinyFern: Pain of cracking nipples? If possible, rub the milk into your nipples and let it air dry. It really works
<2022-04-28T00:02:22.000Z> TinyFern: This is a large part of why I went shirtless tbhBras also don't help your supply 
<2022-04-28T00:02:26.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I admittedly haven't been stocking up, it looks like foremilk (is entirely clear), and I haven't noticed anything yellow so I'm not sure if it's stuff I ought to collect
<2022-04-28T00:03:01.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I was wondering if it's even safe to pump before baby is here and if it can stay good for that long without going bad before the due date? and what I should do in regards to that
<2022-04-28T00:03:37.000Z> TinyFern: You might find that if you got a little bottle of it that it has a yellow or a white tinge but you can't tell in small quantities  
<2022-04-28T00:03:42.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: because I was thinking of getting a breast pump and saving some in bottles
<2022-04-28T00:03:59.000Z> TinyFern: I'd recommend hand expressing if you're in discomfort 
<2022-04-28T00:04:41.000Z> TinyFern: You can get little syringes without the needle and basically squeeze the pressure out of your boob and syringe the liquid away 
<2022-04-28T00:05:40.000Z> TinyFern: Breast milk lasts about a week in the fridge, most people freeze itIf you're looking to stock up and donate lots of milk to people who need it it's probably a good idea but honestly if you've got heaps of milk then you probably don't need to pump for extra supply 
<2022-04-28T00:06:27.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I can also really see myself doing the watching her breath/anxious thing
<2022-04-28T00:06:40.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I already have so much anxiety already and will stay up into the night to make sure she kicks lots lol
<2022-04-28T00:06:41.000Z> TinyFern: Your midwife will encourage you to save some colostrum (if that's what it is) because it's so high quality. It's great for if the baby is sick or has a skin rash or if they basically need a bit of a boost
<2022-04-28T00:07:09.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I will look into the syringes, I've never heard of that before
<2022-04-28T00:07:26.000Z> TinyFern: If you get a cosleeper then you can lie there with your hand on her chest feeling her breathe as you go to sleep
<2022-04-28T00:08:07.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: we have gotten a really good bassinet that goes directly next to our bed (our room is very small) and will keep her at arms reach of me 
<2022-04-28T00:08:35.000Z> TinyFern: That's good 
<2022-04-28T00:08:45.000Z> TinyFern: I don't understand how women put their babies in another room
<2022-04-28T00:08:46.000Z> TinyFern: mumsgrapevine.com.au/2018/02/expressing-colostrum/
<2022-04-28T00:09:37.000Z> TinyFern: You're going to love her so much and it's going to kill you thinking about SIDS risk 
<2022-04-28T00:09:43.000Z> TinyFern: So as much as you can put the SIDS into perspective 
<2022-04-28T00:09:53.000Z> TinyFern: White people have lower SIDS risk 
<2022-04-28T00:10:35.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Ah yes, that is my biggest fear
<2022-04-28T00:10:40.000Z> TinyFern: Breastfeeding halves your SIDS risk (which means formula doubles it, but heaven help you if you leave a soft toy in your bassinet while you take a photo because those formula mums will be on you about the SIDS risk)
<2022-04-28T00:10:50.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: My husband is always bringing up reassuring statistics about where SIDs comes from and it calms me down a whole lot
<2022-04-28T00:10:57.000Z> TinyFern: Having the baby in the same room as you halves it again 
<2022-04-28T00:11:43.000Z> TinyFern: The fact the she is wanted, that she is loved, that she has two biological parents who love her, and that you're not frequently drunk or on heavy medications all protects her 
<2022-04-28T00:11:47.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I think even being aware and cautious of SIDs also drastically reduces the risk
<2022-04-28T00:11:54.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah it does 
<2022-04-28T00:13:01.000Z> TinyFern: I have always been really paranoid about it and my husband wasn't cautious with blankets and  I had to demonstrate that the baby wouldn't pull the blanket off her own face while asleep
<2022-04-28T00:13:20.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I've noticed breastmilk naturally helps with cracking nipples at times, but also they are just overly sensitive and chafe on any clothing I wear/become extremely engorged and that can be extremely horrible some days
<2022-04-28T00:14:19.000Z> TinyFern: But really just let yourself be paranoid and give yourself permission to check as often as you like. It will reassure you every time and over time it gets better 
<2022-04-28T00:14:19.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Hopefully that won't be too much of a problem
<2022-04-28T00:14:35.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah if you hand express and take the pressure off that will help 
<2022-04-28T00:14:41.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I've bought a bunch of swaddles and my husband seems to understand that's all I want her to sleep in, no loose blankets
<2022-04-28T00:15:09.000Z> TinyFern: Our baby outgrew swaddles and would kick them off by like 5 months 
<2022-04-28T00:15:33.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: would you say it's good to transition to those sleep sack time onesies once that happens?
<2022-04-28T00:15:36.000Z> TinyFern: Past the newborn stage is where it gets difficult because they're grabby and roll around 
<2022-04-28T00:16:16.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I also got baby mits for her to sleep in to prevent any face scratching in the night when it gets to that grabby stage 
<2022-04-28T00:16:29.000Z> TinyFern: Eh we just used blankets. We would either tuck them into the sides so they couldn't become loose or we would put half under the baby and half on top, so the blanket couldn't go over the baby's head because it couldn't go up, trapped by the baby's own weight 
<2022-04-28T00:16:42.000Z> TinyFern: Ahahaha have fun with that 
<2022-04-28T00:18:09.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: that does sound like a good idea
<2022-04-28T00:18:23.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: when did you move your baby into the crib/nursery? 6 month mark?
<2022-04-28T00:19:00.000Z> TinyFern: Baby is 8 months and sleeps in our bed but that's because she wakes up every 40 minutes at night otherwise 
<2022-04-28T00:19:10.000Z> TinyFern: This way she does two-three hours at a time 
<2022-04-28T00:19:42.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I also read the article you sent and I'm very grateful for that, specifically this bit
<2022-04-28T00:19:44.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: >While nipple stimulation can cause uterine contractions, there’s no relationship between nipple stimulation and inducing labour, says Susan Shaw. With that in mind, she says daily expressing can start at 36 weeks.
<2022-04-28T00:19:57.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I had kinda fallen for that myth and thought it was a risky thing to do
<2022-04-28T00:20:09.000Z> TinyFern: Raspberry leaf tea is also recommended for toning your uterus 
<2022-04-28T00:20:56.000Z> TinyFern: That one does cause contractions but once you hit the 39 week mark you will want it 
<2022-04-28T00:21:36.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I have heard about being able to induce labour with raspberry leaf
<2022-04-28T00:21:46.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: especially if you are getting overdue 
<2022-04-28T00:21:49.000Z> TinyFern: Heads up about postpartum sex - lots and lots and lots of lube. All the hormones which you will produce after birth dry you up something fierce 
<2022-04-28T00:23:13.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: tbh I don't think we'll even get time for sex when baby is first here lol 
<2022-04-28T00:23:17.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: but will keep that in mind
<2022-04-28T00:23:36.000Z> TinyFern: I never really wanted babysitting from people but having a mother's helper style thing was really good. Invite people over to cuddle the baby while you cook or clean or paint or draw or garden and you can know that she's right there but you can get stuff done 
<2022-04-28T00:23:44.000Z> TinyFern: Idk 
<2022-04-28T00:24:00.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: The only person I think I'll trust for a babysitting role is my mother-in-law
<2022-04-28T00:24:10.000Z> TinyFern: I was asked what it's like having a baby and the best description I thought of was it's like waiting for the toaster 
<2022-04-28T00:24:35.000Z> TinyFern: You know you will need to do something soon but not when so you can't start anything 
<2022-04-28T00:24:56.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: that is a good analogy
<2022-04-28T00:25:12.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Did you experience real bad pelvic pain by the second trimester?
<2022-04-28T00:25:20.000Z> TinyFern: There will be times when you sit around for half an hour expecting that the baby will wake up soon and you end up killing a lot of time but it is this weird liminal space where you can't start any big chores or do anything you can't drop immediately 
<2022-04-28T00:25:32.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I've asked my gp about it and she says its normal, but it still worries me at times. The pressure is so bad it feels like she's ready to just fall out any moment
<2022-04-28T00:25:46.000Z> TinyFern: No but I had round ligament pain 
<2022-04-28T00:26:05.000Z> TinyFern: So I had to walk really really slowly 
<2022-04-28T00:26:16.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I was told its probably to do with ligament things and what not, it makes mobility really hard
<2022-04-28T00:26:22.000Z> TinyFern: Hopefully it makes for an easy labour 
<2022-04-28T00:26:44.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah pregnancy kinda just sucks 
<2022-04-28T00:27:27.000Z> TinyFern: You are going to feel like you don't have time for anything with a newborn but actually you have heaps of time, but only in one minute chunks 
<2022-04-28T00:27:51.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: yeah, some aspects of it really do. I definitely romantacised it a lot before I experienced it for the first time so the reality has just hit me like a truck. I still try to appreciate the amazing bonding moments and love it as much as I can
<2022-04-28T00:28:03.000Z> TinyFern: You will definitely have time for sex, particularly if your husband stays at home for a while after the birth 
<2022-04-28T00:28:21.000Z> TinyFern: I figured that from your early posts haha
<2022-04-28T00:28:44.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: yeah, he has paternity leave and he's also saved up his regular work leave so after his week paternity leave is over he is going to take more weeks off, and will be home for just under a month
<2022-04-28T00:29:03.000Z> TinyFern: I'm kinda backwards because I expected it to suck having a baby and the whole experience has involved so much more joy than I expected (also suffering but I figured that) 
<2022-04-28T00:29:12.000Z> TinyFern: That's fantastic 
<2022-04-28T00:29:20.000Z> TinyFern: You're going to love having that family time 
<2022-04-28T00:29:40.000Z> TinyFern: I've been nudging my husband to write yours with some advice 
<2022-04-28T00:29:44.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I am very keen for it, I couldn't imagine doing the postpartum and newborn phrase entirely by myself
<2022-04-28T00:29:53.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: aw, thank you, he'll appreciate that
<2022-04-28T00:30:43.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I cannot express enough how nice it is to talk to another mum
<2022-04-28T00:30:58.000Z> TinyFern: It was great to have my husband home for that first bit, like training wheels
<2022-04-28T00:31:17.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I don't really know many myself, aside from the older women in my life, but it's nice to talk to someone who is also recently a mother and knows what its like
<2022-04-28T00:31:25.000Z> TinyFern: Always happy to chat 
<2022-04-28T00:31:53.000Z> TinyFern: We can do a telegram phone call if you want, my husband set me up with a fake number and you can hide yours 
<2022-04-28T00:32:01.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Definitely, he has taken care of me so much during the pregnancy too, especially when my back pain gets severe and I really just cannot do anything 
<2022-04-28T00:32:22.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I don't have a telegram but I'll look into getting it so that we can talk more 
<2022-04-28T00:33:12.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I do have to go do my housework now
<2022-04-28T00:33:18.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: But thank you again for all of this
<2022-04-28T00:33:40.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I have written some of it down to remind myself as my due date gets closer
<2022-04-28T00:34:58.000Z> TinyFern: ❤️👍
<2022-04-28T00:35:19.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: 💕
<2022-04-28T00:35:25.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: All your support has really been lovely
<2022-04-28T00:36:12.000Z> TinyFern: I'm very happy to help. I do think it's really important for women to be supported through this time, and the lack of support is a big part of why we have such a negative cultural perception about having babies
<2022-04-28T00:36:37.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Yeah, I do feel like I haven't had much
<2022-04-28T00:36:45.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: but that's more because I don't know many other mums irl 
<2022-04-28T00:37:09.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: hopefully once my little one is here, and I get her into playgroups and things, I'll have an opportunity to meet more
<2022-04-28T00:37:41.000Z> TinyFern: The first conversation I have with a lot of women at playgroup is about how isolating it is to be a new mum and how they want to make mum friends and it's really hard
<2022-04-28T00:38:01.000Z> TinyFern: Not to burst your bubble but the atomisation really does continue space
<2022-04-28T00:38:08.000Z> TinyFern: Apace*
<2022-04-28T00:40:29.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Yeah, it really does suck
<2022-04-28T00:40:39.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: i wish there were more Christian mum groups or something like that
<2022-04-28T00:41:13.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: there is another woman in my church who is pregnant, although she is part of a church plant (different congregation and location but same overarching church body), I still see her occasionally at joint services
<2022-04-28T00:41:32.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: and I was maybe thinking of starting something like that with her
<2022-04-28T00:41:49.000Z> TinyFern: I started my own playgroup 
<2022-04-28T00:41:59.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: that's really sweet
<2022-04-28T00:42:05.000Z> TinyFern: If you make a group chat I'd like to join
<2022-04-28T00:42:18.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Of course
<2022-04-28T00:42:42.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Sorry if this is personal, but where abouts in Australia are you? Don't have to answer that, I can't remember if you've told me before
<2022-04-28T00:42:46.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I'm in WA 
<2022-04-28T00:42:55.000Z> TinyFern: You will have the most incredible urge to dox yourself purely to share baby pics 
<2022-04-28T00:42:59.000Z> TinyFern: I can't even tell you 
<2022-04-28T00:43:08.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: no worries
<2022-04-28T00:43:13.000Z> TinyFern: Oh I'm east coast 
<2022-04-28T00:43:21.000Z> TinyFern: Brisbane
<2022-04-28T00:43:38.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: ah, it's a shame we are so far away from eachother in that regard
<2022-04-28T00:43:42.000Z> TinyFern: I mean I can't tell you how much you will want to share baby pics 
<2022-04-28T00:43:50.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: and yeah, it took every ounce of self control not to post ultra sounds 
<2022-04-28T00:43:53.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: cause they are so cute
<2022-04-28T00:44:07.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: you can see her little hands and in one it looks like she is smiling, and she has the cutest little nose
<2022-04-28T00:44:15.000Z> TinyFern: I have the cutest baby ever 
<2022-04-28T00:44:20.000Z> TinyFern: So many struggles 
<2022-04-28T00:44:29.000Z> TinyFern: My husband suggests blurring her face but that's the best bit 
<2022-04-28T00:45:20.000Z> TinyFern: Look honestly I don't care any more 
<2022-04-28T00:45:31.000Z> TinyFern: Add me on WhatsApp and I'll send baby pics 
<2022-04-28T00:46:55.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: I do not have whatsapp either, but I will ask my husband and also see if there's a way to use a burner number
<2022-04-28T00:47:12.000Z> TinyFern: Ok sounds good 
<2022-04-28T00:47:37.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: But tbh, I don't think there's much harm done in talking with you specifically
<2022-04-28T00:48:18.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah that was my real number lol 
<2022-04-28T00:48:24.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: Do you have the app signal?
<2022-04-28T00:48:39.000Z> TinyFern: Yes but notifications never worked well 
<2022-04-28T00:48:58.000Z> TheVeryLutheranHousewife: would I be able to add you on there for now?
<2022-04-28T00:49:13.000Z> TinyFern: Sure