<2023-01-14T02:40:41.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Kid 
<2023-01-14T02:41:00.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: What am I supposed to do with you lol
<2023-01-14T02:41:02.000Z> Owl: Not sure if you received what I said.
<2023-01-14T02:41:08.000Z> Owl: But I mean it Plat.
<2023-01-14T02:41:19.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: I saw
<2023-01-14T02:41:32.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: I saw btw because Hussy told me to check
<2023-01-14T02:42:38.000Z> Owl: Putting all my ego and bullshit aside I mean it. I don't know how to show you or anything like that but it was a completely horrible thing to have done to you. You're not deserving of that.
<2023-01-14T02:42:53.000Z> Owl: I would have made it public but I am sure you're sick to death of public spectacles.
<2023-01-14T02:43:18.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Well thanks, you were kinda public already so it's fine
<2023-01-14T02:43:37.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: It's big of you to apologize, so I accept
<2023-01-14T02:44:08.000Z> Owl: Thank you. Your friends who stuck by you without question. They're great people. The ones who told you to pipe down were the ones who ended up pissing me off to make me rethink what I did.
<2023-01-14T02:44:13.000Z> Owl: That and, I was already thinking of it.
<2023-01-14T03:01:37.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Lol good to hear
<2023-01-14T03:01:55.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: You seem like you get a little fired up
<2023-01-14T03:02:24.000Z> Owl: Low impulse control.
<2023-01-14T03:18:59.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Been there
<2023-01-14T03:19:11.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Was medicated for a while
<2023-01-14T03:19:18.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Oh btw full disclosure
<2023-01-14T03:19:44.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: I shared this to the ncd matrix because it paints you in a good night https://nicecrew.digital/media/b6644eeea6476e84e9a65157dff375aa558f3fc08d4f89eca5fcf2548ff14d10.png
<2023-01-14T03:19:51.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Good light
<2023-01-14T03:20:17.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: So I "shared DM" but it got a bunch of people to forgive you
<2023-01-14T03:20:33.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Like Tyler, the Christian guy who lit you up the other day
<2023-01-14T03:20:39.000Z> Owl: It's yours to do what you please. I had a bitter outing with a lot of NCD this past week when my mind was in disarray and I was high off my ego. They were right to come at me, and there's a sense of pride in it.
<2023-01-14T03:21:14.000Z> Owl: I love them for what they did. They came at me harshly but on the level. I shrugged them off and went "lol block." But they were just trying to correct me morally, as was their right.
<2023-01-14T03:21:28.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Well this has improved your image.  Pride is dangerous but if you can bury it, you'll find loads of people who will want the best for you
<2023-01-14T03:22:10.000Z> Owl: Plat. I never cared about my image. I'm the spergiest bastard on the Fediverse right now according to many and I don't care. This was about you. Fuck the fediverse, fuck my image you know?
<2023-01-14T03:24:03.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: I know but I want you to understand that people are happy to see you grow as a Christian
<2023-01-14T03:26:10.000Z> Owl: It's hard to admit that you've fucked up and done something actually evil. This was a tough one for me because now I'm shocked that even I would stoop that low. After that I kind of waffled on abandoning Christianity altogether because me doing that proved that I'm capable of just
<2023-01-14T03:26:20.000Z> Owl: idk fucking up like that. Who does that? Christians are good people they don't do that.
<2023-01-14T03:32:14.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Read more Bible. Half the book tells you humanity is deranged and doesn't deserve saving but you got it anyway lolIt's expected that we're going to fall.
<2023-01-14T03:32:22.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: You're stubborn as hell but you came around
<2023-01-14T03:33:27.000Z> Owl: Isolation from loud elements is what helps me come to my better senses and rare moments of clarity. But I need to learn better self-control. I'll be straight and say I'm jaded about the whole faith thing right now but maybe I'll come around again with stronger resolve. I want to. You all make it look a lot easier than it actually is.
<2023-01-14T03:36:52.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Being Christian is very hard
<2023-01-14T03:37:07.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: Especially when you ask God to do things like save your wife
<2023-01-14T03:37:22.000Z> Platinum@nicecrew.digital: It's definitely a journey but people will pick you up when you fall
<2023-01-15T07:55:30.000Z> Owl: I gave those last three things you've said some thought. I guess I'm not built like that. I want to get by in life on my own. Reliance on others and trust in them is a brutal concept to take hold of. I don't want to put my faith in something that could fail and at least if I work toward something and I don't make it at least I've failed on my own. I don't like getting my hopes up.