<2022-10-11T21:50:05.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: it takes months before it get's easier, and honestly it's always hard. Very easy to relapse. The trick is to figure out your "rituals" and try to cut those out/avoid them as much as possible.
<2022-10-11T21:50:51.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Also managing your energy is important, like start working out or jogging when you're horny.
<2022-10-11T21:52:12.000Z> KonataWagner1066: I will keep this in mind, it's gonna be hard 
<2022-10-11T21:53:35.000Z> KonataWagner1066: I've never made it past three weeks when actively trying to avoid it. I've incidentally gone longer than that before, but that was just from the urge not being there 
<2022-10-11T22:04:09.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I've gone years when I was in my early 20s and travelling through Sri Lanka/Tanzania. I think if you are actively doing things that feed your internal needs than it goes away. Jacking off is basically sucking your thumb, it's a way to self comfort. That being said, it's important to identify times that make you feel the urge and identifying ways to meet the underlying needs. Is it boredom, a way to cope with stress or pain etc.
<2022-10-11T22:04:43.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: relapsed when I came back to the states, and had to confront a lot of messy shit in my life
<2022-10-11T22:05:56.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I know it sounds strange, but this is actually a good opportunity to learn more about yourself and growing into a healthy man with integrity. If you want some books or something that helped me out I can send you some recommendations
<2022-10-11T22:09:30.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Yes, I think you're right that I will need to find some to expend the energy. The first thing I'll try is jogging, hopefully that works. It may turn out to be a growing/learning experience, thanks for the encouragement. And sure I'd at least check out book recommendations if you sent some. I've never done this in a very serious way before 
<2022-10-11T22:30:43.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: It's a good first step in a long journey. It's important to remember it's a marathon. You might relapse, but it's important to not beat yourself up about it and to get back on track quickly. Some important first steps are identifying your rituals, like what makes you want to fap? Is it related to porn? Is there a time of day? Does it happen when you feel something like boredom?
<2022-10-11T22:33:56.000Z> KonataWagner1066: I hope I can stay on track. About rituals, this might be tough since I usually get the urge in the evening laying in bed. I'm not sure how much I could change my routine to avoid that
<2022-10-11T22:34:35.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: For example, mine was related to work projects and procrastination. Like I really didn't want to do certain things, and I would avoid it by looking a porn, and then fapping. You body has probably developed some kind of habits as well, like it wants the dopamine from porn and masturbation and knows when you start doing certain things that this is on the horizon, it's important to start avoiding those situations 
<2022-10-11T22:35:26.000Z> KonataWagner1066: But maybe I can pay closer attention/do some introspection and get a better understanding of what makes me want to do it. I don't get the urge daily even under normal circumstances, after all, so it makes sense that something different would be happening on the days that I do
<2022-10-11T22:36:16.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Another common one for me was wanting to do it first thing in the morning, so I got in the habit of getting up earlier than usual and not staying in bed a long time before my mind started to wander. I can't win the battle if I stay in bed, so the time between getting up and getting out of bed has to be as small as possible.
<2022-10-11T22:36:58.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: sorry my chats are messed up lol, didn
<2022-10-11T22:37:14.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: didn't see these until i refreshed
<2022-10-11T22:38:30.000Z> KonataWagner1066: I should do that too. Something I do sometimes is shower after I get home from work then lie in bed after 
<2022-10-11T22:38:56.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Oh, whoops, how far back lol?
<2022-10-11T22:40:11.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: For nights, I had the same issue once I stopped in the mornings. It's hard because I would just lay there thinking about it, and like the morning, the longer I thought the longer it was an issue and I would relapse. It became important to go to sleep quickly, so for me that meant more exercise during the day and no phones in bed. The light made me stay up. Also doing more during the day left me tired, so it became easier to sleep
<2022-10-11T22:41:46.000Z> KonataWagner1066: I should try to do the same. The phone thing might help
<2022-10-11T22:42:24.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I'm looking for the dumb workbook I used to have, it was really cheesy but honestly a big help. It's probably in my amazon orders from years ago, so I can look there as a last resort.
<2022-10-11T22:46:14.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Thank you :pray:
<2022-10-11T22:46:45.000Z> KonataWagner1066: 🙏🏻
<2022-10-27T01:06:45.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: If you're looking for another instance come to mugicha. I don't like NCD and Saph for petty stupid reasons, and i don't like that all my friends are going to those instances. 
<2022-10-27T01:07:57.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I was hoping you would be happy on comfyboy though. Vril is very drama free. Is there a reason you're still looking around?
<2022-10-27T07:43:55.000Z> KonataWagner1066: I'm perfectly happy with comfyboy, I just wanted to keep that as an account relatively free of politics/current events/drama
<2022-10-27T07:54:05.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Soapbox is also better than pleroma on mobile
<2022-10-27T08:05:28.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Well that makes sense, but just know if you start going down the fedi drama rabbit hole it's never going to end. There are a lot of petty grudges everyone has on here, including me. It don't think it's healthy to spend a lot of time on it.
<2022-11-01T10:03:26.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Could I make a mugicha account later today?
<2022-11-01T11:03:16.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Yeah I'll send you an invite 
<2022-11-01T11:04:21.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Just fyi I defend beefyboys, but other than actual pedo instances I don't think I'll defed anyone else.
<2022-11-01T11:05:56.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: I did it mostly for the meme, but I also think most of the guys here would get into fights with them all the time (myself included) so I though a peaceful split would be best
<2022-11-01T11:09:19.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: https://mugicha.club/registration/K64evhbuuh1_7u10onFa-Me7fQ82ifuWPfxpjtMzPjU=
<2022-11-01T14:07:50.000Z> KonataWagner1066: I just set it up :konathumb:
<2022-11-01T14:36:26.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: approved, i need to fix those konata emotes
<2022-11-01T15:08:47.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Based
<2022-11-01T15:57:42.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: Did you do the alias thing?
<2022-11-01T15:57:58.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: for account migration 
<2022-11-01T15:58:22.000Z> KonataWagner1066: No I have no idea when I'm doing 
<2022-11-01T16:05:32.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: hold on i have a post i'll send it to you
<2022-11-01T16:06:13.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: https://mugicha.club/@nozaki/posts/AOqWTY4H0WR2QRWUbY
<2022-11-01T16:06:21.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: try that out, no idea if it works or not
<2022-11-01T16:18:04.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Ok, thank you. I think I'm gonna take a break for a bit here since adding (mostly?) everyone manually just took like a half hour
<2022-11-01T16:25:12.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: take your time, you don't even need to migrate if you don't want to
<2022-11-01T16:25:36.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: i think followers should be pruned regularly anyway, it's fun to start from zero
<2022-11-01T16:26:07.000Z> KonataWagner1066: One funny thing is a couple people who never followed me back before just did lol
<2022-11-01T16:30:24.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: It's probably interesting that you moved instances and so they
<2022-11-01T16:30:38.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: they're curious 
<2022-11-01T16:30:51.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: do you have a matrix account? I can add you to our chatroom
<2022-11-01T16:31:08.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Little do they know it's gonna be exactly the same but maybe more anime and games than before
<2022-11-01T16:31:34.000Z> KonataWagner1066: I did once when poast was down but I think Graf might have deleted it or something? 
<2022-11-01T16:35:18.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: yeah that was when the kiwis were exporting all the poast matrix chats
<2022-11-01T16:35:28.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: he went scorched earth on matrix
<2022-11-01T16:35:40.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: if you make another one let me know, I'll add you to the room
<2022-11-01T16:35:59.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: it's pretty quiet though, mostly just announcements and mild racism 
<2022-11-01T16:36:39.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Is it on the poast matrix?
<2022-11-01T16:37:01.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: yeah but it's a private room so I'd have to invite you to it
<2022-11-01T16:37:25.000Z> KonataWagner1066: Ah ok gotcha. Yeah I'll make another one at some point 
<2022-11-01T16:43:26.000Z> nozaki@mugicha.club: no rush, like i said it's pretty calm