<2022-09-13T20:45:46.000Z> Tenshii: Hey man, we've talked on twitter before. Your health issues getting any better?
<2022-09-13T20:47:58.000Z> JarboTheHutt: hey dude
<2022-09-13T20:48:14.000Z> JarboTheHutt: same old shit to be honest.  good days and bad days
<2022-09-13T20:48:24.000Z> JarboTheHutt: but i'm getting by
<2022-09-13T20:48:26.000Z> JarboTheHutt: how are you doing?
<2022-09-13T20:48:42.000Z> Tenshii: Well I hope that shit picks up soon. Been loving the new tracks you've put out this year. I've been annoying tf out of my girlfriend with them
<2022-09-13T20:49:02.000Z> JarboTheHutt: haha yeh i'm sure she loves that
<2022-09-13T20:49:11.000Z> Tenshii: I'm doing good. Finally got a job earlier this year after spending almost 3 years out of work, thanks to covid.
<2022-09-13T20:49:30.000Z> Tenshii: Got myself a nice software dev gig and I'm doing very well. Mid level, surprisingly, even with all my time unemployed
<2022-09-13T20:49:34.000Z> JarboTheHutt: you wee in Cali?
<2022-09-13T20:49:36.000Z> JarboTheHutt: were*
<2022-09-13T20:49:40.000Z> Tenshii: Nah so get this
<2022-09-13T20:49:58.000Z> Tenshii: I get laid off near end of 2019 because my work was done for a small industrial firm I was solo writing custom software for
<2022-09-13T20:50:12.000Z> Tenshii: Dick around a few months, then start looking. Around March 2020 I get a gig at a nice Credit Union
<2022-09-13T20:50:40.000Z> Tenshii: The DAY I'm supposed to go in to start. California initiates their lockdowns. And I'm not in Cali, but this company has offices there. So they did a nationwide shutdown of offices
<2022-09-13T20:50:59.000Z> Tenshii: "It'll only be a few weeks to a month! Enjoy your free time Anon, play some video games. You'll be in the office for onboarding soon"
<2022-09-13T20:51:19.000Z> Tenshii: After that it was denied after denied from every fucking gig. My lack of team exp and the job market during covid was ass
<2022-09-13T20:52:28.000Z> JarboTheHutt: man that fucking sucks
<2022-09-13T20:52:34.000Z> JarboTheHutt: worst time in history to find work
<2022-09-13T20:52:53.000Z> Tenshii: On top of that, had my first kid born in Jan 2021. So the anxiety was real
<2022-09-13T20:53:16.000Z> Tenshii: Lucky to have had my parents keep me and my mortgage afloat during that time. I'll never be able to pay everything back
<2022-09-13T20:54:52.000Z> JarboTheHutt: oh congrats man
<2022-09-13T20:55:07.000Z> Tenshii: Thanks man. It's been a blessing.
<2022-09-13T20:55:14.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it's important to have good people around you
<2022-09-13T20:55:19.000Z> JarboTheHutt: few and good ones
<2022-09-13T20:55:26.000Z> Tenshii: Overall things worked out. Really enjoying this new gig and I'm a damn confident dev now
<2022-09-13T20:56:05.000Z> Tenshii: I'm the only non-indian on my team lmfao. And the only dev on my team in America. So it's a bit of a struggle, but I really love these pajeets
<2022-09-13T20:57:37.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol everyones just trying to make a living i guess
<2022-09-13T20:57:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: whats your stack
<2022-09-13T20:59:28.000Z> Tenshii: Microsoft. Switching between an older system on .net 3.2 and a newer system that runs on .net 6 and angular
<2022-09-13T20:59:33.000Z> Tenshii: Really loving Angular 
<2022-09-13T20:59:55.000Z> Tenshii: Really hate it when tasked to work on the older system tho 
<2022-09-13T21:00:04.000Z> JarboTheHutt: nice man. angular isn't going anywhere anytime soon
<2022-09-13T21:00:53.000Z> Tenshii: So after college in the mid 2010s, I got that gig I mentioned writing custom software for that small company
<2022-09-13T21:00:55.000Z> Tenshii: I didn't know jack shit
<2022-09-13T21:01:04.000Z> Tenshii: Wrote it all in .net web forms like a fucktard
<2022-09-13T21:01:16.000Z> Tenshii: So honestly working with any tech that's newer than fucking 2005 is a breath of fresh air lol
<2022-09-13T21:01:31.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-13T21:01:50.000Z> JarboTheHutt: some places have drastically different work culture
<2022-09-13T21:01:59.000Z> Tenshii: You're a dev yourself right? I think I remember you mentioning you wrote some sort of software for the jarbo songs when you went on the dick show
<2022-09-13T21:02:01.000Z> JarboTheHutt: legacy software is a pain in the ass
<2022-09-13T21:02:22.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i'm not a professional. i just learn things as when i need to
<2022-09-13T21:02:32.000Z> Tenshii: Our company culture needs work, but these Indian guys give us holidays on Christian holidays, zero pozzed bullshit at all. It's a great quality 
<2022-09-13T21:02:45.000Z> Tenshii: How tf are you not a professional when you're writing funky cool music software
<2022-09-13T21:03:21.000Z> JarboTheHutt: man it's pure jank you have no idea
<2022-09-13T21:03:58.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i have like a million git commits all over the place, none of them completed.
<2022-09-13T21:04:05.000Z> Tenshii: hahaha
<2022-09-13T21:04:21.000Z> Tenshii: I mean, I got a math degree on top of my CS degree, so I'd like to think I'm decent at problem solving. But the idea of writing what you made makes my head spin. Wouldn't know where to start
<2022-09-13T21:04:59.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it's just an indexing software. timestamps + captions + audio + ability to splice out samples
<2022-09-13T21:05:17.000Z> Tenshii: Still very impressive. Shows you're smarter than the average retard
<2022-09-13T21:05:32.000Z> JarboTheHutt: eh i guess
<2022-09-13T21:05:45.000Z> Tenshii: Don't undersell yourself my nigga
<2022-09-13T21:06:04.000Z> Tenshii: I also have a music background. I can objectively make the call that you're a very smart/talented dude
<2022-09-13T21:07:40.000Z> JarboTheHutt: I take the good with the good and the bad with the bad
<2022-09-13T21:08:08.000Z> Tenshii: So are you actually a nigga, my nigga?
<2022-09-13T21:08:26.000Z> JarboTheHutt: no lol i was just messing around
<2022-09-13T21:08:36.000Z> JarboTheHutt: confusing the herd
<2022-09-13T21:08:39.000Z> Tenshii: God dammit, I was too excited at the hilarity 
<2022-09-13T21:08:45.000Z> Tenshii: You're black to me Jarbo
<2022-09-13T21:08:55.000Z> JarboTheHutt: that would be fucking funny though
<2022-09-13T21:09:20.000Z> Tenshii: Having that melanin shield from most criticism 
<2022-09-13T21:09:58.000Z> Tenshii: I used to house one of my best friends who hit life rough. Black dude. I'd hear him chewing out faggots in online gaming lobbies for telling him that he, or anyone, shouldn't be calling others nigger
<2022-09-13T21:10:01.000Z> Tenshii: Miss that guy
<2022-09-13T21:11:22.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-13T21:11:49.000Z> JarboTheHutt: people keep floating this idea and i don't know what to make of it because i'm half tempted to do it
<2022-09-13T21:11:58.000Z> JarboTheHutt: press a gunt LP
<2022-09-13T21:12:23.000Z> JarboTheHutt: the logical side of me says run a mile, the artist in me says do it
<2022-09-13T21:12:32.000Z> Tenshii: If you've got enough people willing to pay for it, it seems worth
<2022-09-13T21:12:40.000Z> Tenshii: But I see where you could have concerns
<2022-09-13T21:13:00.000Z> Tenshii: Gotta keep this life separate from your real life as much as possible. Plus you're a eurofag right? Isn't the UK pretty harsh on that shit?
<2022-09-13T21:13:04.000Z> JarboTheHutt: no sensible way of knowing unless i do a fundraiser and refund everyone if it doesn't meet target
<2022-09-13T21:13:25.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh UK is pretty draconian
<2022-09-13T21:15:07.000Z> Tenshii: I'm in Texas. so thankfully I think things are going to be okay for me for a while longer
<2022-09-13T21:15:34.000Z> JarboTheHutt: they'll get to you eventually my friend
<2022-09-13T21:15:46.000Z> JarboTheHutt: they'll get everyone. 
<2022-09-13T21:15:50.000Z> Tenshii: Texans have died for less
<2022-09-13T21:16:05.000Z> JarboTheHutt: fucking wish i'd have been born in the States
<2022-09-13T21:16:17.000Z> Tenshii: The left is seriously underestimating how fucking socially conservative hispanics are
<2022-09-13T21:16:23.000Z> Tenshii: It's going to bit them in the ass HARD
<2022-09-13T21:16:57.000Z> Tenshii: I have a strong inclination that they'll start considering hispanics as whites in the next 10 years. Not as an inclusive thing, but as a negative thing to put them down for voting right wing
<2022-09-13T21:16:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Maybe
<2022-09-13T21:17:34.000Z> Tenshii: If you check the election maps for 2020 vs 2016. you'lll see all of our most southern counties go from blue during hillary, to red for trump 2020
<2022-09-13T21:17:39.000Z> Tenshii: All of those counties are like 90%+ hispanic
<2022-09-13T21:17:56.000Z> Tenshii: I am their gringo 
<2022-09-13T21:17:58.000Z> JarboTheHutt: People need to pair of balls and shake that stigma that they have of racism
<2022-09-13T21:18:10.000Z> Tenshii: It's fucking retarded isn't it
<2022-09-13T21:18:40.000Z> JarboTheHutt: one of my messages just vanished
<2022-09-13T21:18:51.000Z> Tenshii: What was it? I don't think it sent properly
<2022-09-13T21:18:53.000Z> Tenshii: I didn't see
<2022-09-13T21:19:17.000Z> JarboTheHutt: ah i see it now
<2022-09-13T21:20:00.000Z> JarboTheHutt: this WEF green world reset thing scares me man
<2022-09-13T21:20:04.000Z> JarboTheHutt: like genuinely scares me
<2022-09-13T21:20:20.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah, it scares me too. But I've gotten to a point where I don't let these things effect my emotions 
<2022-09-13T21:20:36.000Z> Tenshii: I have faith in people. A whitepill sunny disposition 
<2022-09-13T21:20:52.000Z> JarboTheHutt: glass half full is a good way to live life
<2022-09-13T21:21:29.000Z> Tenshii: Things will shift if we can somehow litigate control away from social media mega-corps
<2022-09-13T21:21:32.000Z> Tenshii: Speaking of disappearing messages
<2022-09-13T21:21:47.000Z> Tenshii: During 2020 election. I sent my brother some pictures from the Hunter Biden leak on facebook
<2022-09-13T21:21:58.000Z> Tenshii: They stayed in chat about 15 seconds. then disappeared.
<2022-09-13T21:22:07.000Z> Tenshii: No "message deleted" in the chat like it does typically
<2022-09-13T21:22:07.000Z> JarboTheHutt: terrifying right
<2022-09-13T21:22:09.000Z> Tenshii: Just GONE
<2022-09-13T21:22:16.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i've seen that type of thing before
<2022-09-13T21:22:23.000Z> Tenshii: That brother of mine. Conservative, but massive TDS, hated trump.
<2022-09-13T21:22:26.000Z> Tenshii: His mind was blown away
<2022-09-13T21:22:32.000Z> Tenshii: "Do you believe me now motherfucker?"
<2022-09-13T21:22:36.000Z> Tenshii: We still talk about it happening
<2022-09-13T21:22:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: have you read permanent record
<2022-09-13T21:23:06.000Z> Tenshii: No idea what it is
<2022-09-13T21:23:14.000Z> JarboTheHutt: the book by edward snowde
<2022-09-13T21:23:17.000Z> JarboTheHutt: snowden*
<2022-09-13T21:23:22.000Z> Tenshii: Oh no, I haven't 
<2022-09-13T21:23:41.000Z> JarboTheHutt: would recommend
<2022-09-13T21:23:49.000Z> Tenshii: Whats the gestalt 
<2022-09-13T21:24:31.000Z> JarboTheHutt: the assimilation of all human data to be used as government intelligence
<2022-09-13T21:24:52.000Z> JarboTheHutt: from every device and person in the world
<2022-09-13T21:25:04.000Z> Tenshii: There's a panic button that could be used in that scenario 
<2022-09-13T21:25:27.000Z> Tenshii: Leak, fucking, everything
<2022-09-13T21:25:27.000Z> JarboTheHutt: its already happening through
<2022-09-13T21:25:33.000Z> Tenshii: Oh I know. I'm very aware
<2022-09-13T21:25:43.000Z> Tenshii: I'm almost certain I'm on lists. Even though I'm extremely non-violent 
<2022-09-13T21:26:08.000Z> Tenshii: ANother one of my brothers is a politician too. So I'm just absolutely certain I'm on a list
<2022-09-13T21:26:31.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i'm pretty sure we're going to transition into social-credit system based on our activities. next 10-15 years
<2022-09-13T21:26:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: oh yeh you're definitely on a list if you have contacts in politics
<2022-09-13T21:26:53.000Z> Tenshii: You guys definitely will.
<2022-09-13T21:27:03.000Z> Tenshii: America soon to follow. With a hold-out from certain states
<2022-09-13T21:27:33.000Z> Tenshii: We at least have a shot
<2022-09-13T21:27:35.000Z> Tenshii: Because we have guns
<2022-09-13T21:27:46.000Z> Tenshii: And they are not, ever, going to take them. Unless they start slaughtering us en masse 
<2022-09-13T21:27:51.000Z> JarboTheHutt: have to admire the stubbornness of the southern states in general
<2022-09-13T21:28:20.000Z> Tenshii: It's pretty engrained 
<2022-09-13T21:28:26.000Z> JarboTheHutt: anyway i don't know shit. all i know is what i see here
<2022-09-13T21:28:35.000Z> Tenshii: Even if somehow that fuck Beto wins Texas, he can never curb our firearms 
<2022-09-13T21:28:56.000Z> Tenshii: I've been to the UK years ago. early 2000s when I was around 12. It's hard to imagine it's the same place i see in videos from today
<2022-09-13T21:29:15.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i moved out of the capital last year
<2022-09-13T21:29:23.000Z> JarboTheHutt: had enough of city life. it's a cesspool. fuck them all
<2022-09-13T21:29:30.000Z> Tenshii: London?
<2022-09-13T21:29:37.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh 
<2022-09-13T21:29:55.000Z> Tenshii: I visited shortly, spent some time in Pool, then at some christian camp called Lee Abbey and the rest of my time in a small town
<2022-09-13T21:30:07.000Z> Tenshii: Everyone asked me how many horses I have and how many people I've shot when they found out I'm Texan lmfao
<2022-09-13T21:30:25.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh i was meaning to ask you about the horses
<2022-09-13T21:30:37.000Z> Tenshii: Hahaha fucking classic
<2022-09-13T21:31:03.000Z> Tenshii: I live outside Houston, but I'm far enough from the city to where there's still some trees. Funny enough people occasionally ride horses on the road outside my community 
<2022-09-13T21:31:22.000Z> Tenshii: Even funnier enough, most of them are black people. I'm one of the only whites in my entire neighborhood
<2022-09-13T21:31:34.000Z> JarboTheHutt: so you have a big house then
<2022-09-13T21:31:55.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-13T21:31:59.000Z> Tenshii: I'm still in a suburb type community. Nothing big, but decently sized for my current family size
<2022-09-13T21:32:56.000Z> JarboTheHutt: well it's good to know you've embraced family life
<2022-09-13T21:32:59.000Z> JarboTheHutt: that's a good thing
<2022-09-13T21:33:11.000Z> Tenshii: That's going to be the only thing that matters in the end
<2022-09-13T21:33:17.000Z> Tenshii: Families vs The Crowd
<2022-09-13T21:33:18.000Z> JarboTheHutt: keeps you grounded and stops you going insane
<2022-09-13T21:33:24.000Z> Tenshii: Doesn't matter race or creed when that happens
<2022-09-13T21:33:45.000Z> JarboTheHutt: true
<2022-09-13T21:33:49.000Z> Tenshii: Well, that and bros
<2022-09-13T21:33:55.000Z> Tenshii: I have a really tight-knit group of bros
<2022-09-13T21:40:08.000Z> Tenshii: You got close family?
<2022-09-13T21:40:54.000Z> JarboTheHutt: don't keep in touch with most of them
<2022-09-13T21:41:06.000Z> JarboTheHutt: they're abroad
<2022-09-13T21:41:13.000Z> JarboTheHutt: and dicks
<2022-09-13T21:41:26.000Z> JarboTheHutt: well not all of them but you know how it is
<2022-09-13T21:42:26.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah I have a pretty big family and some of them can be cocks. But I try to look past the shit to keep closer when I can
<2022-09-13T21:42:42.000Z> Tenshii: What about close bros?
<2022-09-13T21:42:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i mean maybe its me
<2022-09-13T21:43:45.000Z> Tenshii: Is it? lol
<2022-09-13T21:44:10.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh i pretty much abandoned the idea that i was a good person a long time ago.
<2022-09-13T21:44:19.000Z> Tenshii: Why though?
<2022-09-13T21:44:42.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i just got so much more by being a prick
<2022-09-13T21:44:52.000Z> Tenshii: Why not both then?
<2022-09-13T21:45:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: maybe what i mean is i'm good to the wrong people
<2022-09-13T21:46:06.000Z> Tenshii: Mind elaborating a bit?
<2022-09-13T21:48:22.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it's kinda hard to explain
<2022-09-13T21:48:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i'm on a path. my choices led me to where i am and they were all bad choices and its all taken its toll on my health
<2022-09-13T21:49:40.000Z> JarboTheHutt: and i can't fix it, or revert to a previous state so my life is now living inside this broken body
<2022-09-13T21:51:56.000Z> JarboTheHutt: what i do here is an illusion
<2022-09-13T21:54:44.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i dont know. maybe the tide will turn and i'll see the glass half full again
<2022-09-13T21:55:28.000Z> JarboTheHutt: family is important
<2022-09-13T21:56:13.000Z> Tenshii: Sorry I was taking a smoke break. reading now
<2022-09-13T21:56:32.000Z> Tenshii: Drug abuse?
<2022-09-13T21:58:43.000Z> JarboTheHutt: no nothing like that
<2022-09-13T21:59:06.000Z> JarboTheHutt: there's just a lot of people around me with mental illness
<2022-09-13T21:59:38.000Z> JarboTheHutt: but they are my people and i have to support them
<2022-09-13T22:00:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i could have turned away from them and probably made a small fortune by now. i was very resourceful when i was younger
<2022-09-13T22:02:20.000Z> Tenshii: I've found myself in very similar situations 
<2022-09-13T22:03:08.000Z> JarboTheHutt: how did you deal with it
<2022-09-13T22:03:23.000Z> Tenshii: I've just got a special way of handling it. I have a very very large social circle, and outside of my closest bros there's a lot of degenerates and sad men 
<2022-09-13T22:03:55.000Z> Tenshii: For example, my black buddy I mentioned, the one I housed for a while. He was a great kid in high school. Then he fell for the "not acting black" meme and now he's got a face tattoo and makes bad decision after bad decision 
<2022-09-13T22:04:18.000Z> Tenshii: But the way I handle it is I've found a way to separate myself from responsibility with the bullshit, as well as emotional impact
<2022-09-13T22:05:37.000Z> JarboTheHutt: that's a good skill to have. not everyone can do that so easily
<2022-09-13T22:05:55.000Z> Tenshii: Well what's holding you back in that area? Give me an example
<2022-09-13T22:09:04.000Z> JarboTheHutt: your parents accept your partner?
<2022-09-13T22:11:24.000Z> Tenshii: My parents love her honestly
<2022-09-13T22:11:35.000Z> Tenshii: But at the same time her and I have our own problems. Which Is why I wont commit to marriage 
<2022-09-13T22:13:03.000Z> JarboTheHutt: but the fact that there is acceptance there brings you peace
<2022-09-13T22:13:29.000Z> JarboTheHutt: you are in a household without hostility
<2022-09-13T22:15:07.000Z> JarboTheHutt: when you're in a house with hostility because people can't get along, it gets to you. it can take maybe a year or five or ten but it gets inside you
<2022-09-13T22:16:00.000Z> Tenshii: You share a place with your parents and your girl? Causing issues?
<2022-09-13T22:16:59.000Z> JarboTheHutt: no i divide my time between them
<2022-09-13T22:17:27.000Z> Tenshii: Well what's the kicker then? Them? Her? Or just clashes between them?
<2022-09-13T22:18:07.000Z> Tenshii: I don't mean to pry too much brother, I'm just generally the caring type, outside of being a shitlord 
<2022-09-13T22:20:56.000Z> JarboTheHutt: we're all ill man. my mother is blind and extremely stubborn but prideful, and my partner is patient but she has GAD and we collectively have to look after her brother who is a shut-in
<2022-09-13T22:21:16.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol so yeh it's weird
<2022-09-13T22:21:51.000Z> JarboTheHutt: my dad committed suicide when i was very young
<2022-09-13T22:21:51.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah, I get that. My life isn't without issues too
<2022-09-13T22:21:54.000Z> Tenshii: Oh fuck
<2022-09-13T22:21:55.000Z> Tenshii: That is 
<2022-09-13T22:21:56.000Z> Tenshii: Rough
<2022-09-13T22:22:07.000Z> Tenshii: My girl and I met about 6 years ago
<2022-09-13T22:22:20.000Z> Tenshii: She was 18, met her at the bar. You can call me Ethan Ralph lmfao
<2022-09-13T22:22:31.000Z> Tenshii: She was a little wild, but boy did I fucking not know how wild
<2022-09-13T22:22:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-13T22:22:59.000Z> Tenshii: First 4 years of our relationship was non-stop abuse. I put up with so much shit. In the end to find out she'd cheated on me multiple times during that period too. Which I'm not even sure is worse than what she put me through
<2022-09-13T22:23:06.000Z> Tenshii: Constant fights, yelling, screaming, she'd destroy shit
<2022-09-13T22:23:32.000Z> Tenshii: She comes from a very abusive household. But my stubborn ass kept the relationship going because I'd spent most my years just fucking random women and wanted to try to make a real relationship work
<2022-09-13T22:24:17.000Z> Tenshii: What I can say is, not long before she got pregnant with our daughter, she changed a bit, and then after we've had our daughter, she's a completely different person. Although still a ball of mental problems and anxiety, I've helped her toughen up a lot
<2022-09-13T22:26:15.000Z> JarboTheHutt: you think having a child brought some stability to her
<2022-09-13T22:26:29.000Z> JarboTheHutt: ?*
<2022-09-13T22:26:38.000Z> Tenshii: Yes, it did, but I'd say it was more my hard work and ability to be extremely patient and stalwart with all the bullshit
<2022-09-13T22:27:20.000Z> Tenshii: I also have many friends who have horror stories about their relationships with their kids mother they're no longer with
<2022-09-13T22:29:35.000Z> Tenshii: I should mention
<2022-09-13T22:29:38.000Z> Tenshii: I am bipolar
<2022-09-13T22:29:41.000Z> Tenshii: And medicated.
<2022-09-13T22:29:57.000Z> Tenshii: So if you have similar mental issues, I can most likely relate, because I have one of the worst there is lmfao
<2022-09-13T22:31:33.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh i'm on meds too
<2022-09-13T22:31:47.000Z> Tenshii: Bipolar? Or undiagnosed shit?
<2022-09-13T22:32:27.000Z> JarboTheHutt: they say it's some sort of persistent vestibular migraines
<2022-09-13T22:32:50.000Z> Tenshii: Oof. Migraines, that's a cunt and a half
<2022-09-13T22:32:52.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i'm in pain pretty much all the time
<2022-09-13T22:32:58.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it fucking sucks man
<2022-09-13T22:33:01.000Z> Tenshii: Do you have a decent doctor?
<2022-09-13T22:33:28.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i've seen everyone that i could for free (National Health)
<2022-09-13T22:33:37.000Z> JarboTheHutt: the good doctors are REALLY expensive
<2022-09-13T22:34:26.000Z> JarboTheHutt: and i just don't want any more tests done on me you know. after a while it's almost easier to learn to live with it than try to keep finding a solution that might not exist
<2022-09-13T22:34:31.000Z> Tenshii: I just texted my father for a general idea of some meds that might help with that
<2022-09-13T22:34:33.000Z> Tenshii: He's a doctor
<2022-09-13T22:34:47.000Z> Tenshii: What are you currently on?
<2022-09-13T22:36:25.000Z> JarboTheHutt: propranolol
<2022-09-13T22:37:05.000Z> JarboTheHutt: but i've tried everything. sumitriptan, topiramate, temazepam, fucking everything
<2022-09-13T22:37:10.000Z> Tenshii: Beta blocker, okay. My gf is on one of those for her migraines now that she's pregnant 
<2022-09-13T22:37:44.000Z> Tenshii: I texted him letting him know. He usually gets back to me at random hours, so whenever he does get back I'll be sure to let you know if I have any suggestions 
<2022-09-13T22:37:58.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i appreciate it man. you dont need to do that
<2022-09-13T22:38:19.000Z> Tenshii: Before this current pregnancy he had put my gf on a strong migraine medication. She was pretty fucking retarded for about a month, forgetful as fuck, it fucked her head up, but it eventually cleared up and she said it worked wonders for the headaches
<2022-09-13T22:38:44.000Z> Tenshii: Don't even sweat it dude. What's a couple of seconds of texting for me could lead to something of worth for you. Worthy use of my time
<2022-09-13T22:38:59.000Z> JarboTheHutt: believe it or not i've been testing meds for 7 years
<2022-09-13T22:39:11.000Z> Tenshii: I believe it
<2022-09-13T22:39:28.000Z> Tenshii: It took me multiple medications and 25 or so years before I found a med that worked for my bipolar
<2022-09-13T22:40:00.000Z> JarboTheHutt: were you suffering from BPD when you were with your partner?
<2022-09-13T22:40:12.000Z> Tenshii: He said Topiramate is the best of the best "If he can tolerate it". I know you've tried that. How was your experience on it?
<2022-09-13T22:40:44.000Z> Tenshii: Man I've suffered from bipolar my entire life.
<2022-09-13T22:40:59.000Z> Tenshii: But I've been medicated for a decent part of this relationship. I didn't always take it regularly like I do now
<2022-09-13T22:41:02.000Z> JarboTheHutt: topiramate turned my guts to shit if i remember right
<2022-09-13T22:41:14.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah, I think thats why he said "if he can tolerate it" lmfao
<2022-09-13T22:41:53.000Z> JarboTheHutt: and with your BPD you still managed to stay grounded and keep others grounded
<2022-09-13T22:42:00.000Z> JarboTheHutt: that means you understood your BPD
<2022-09-13T22:42:09.000Z> Tenshii: Understanding it was the most important part of it for me
<2022-09-13T22:42:22.000Z> Tenshii: Although, not gonna lie, I fucking miss the manic episodes.
<2022-09-13T22:42:27.000Z> Tenshii: Just wasn't worth the depression 
<2022-09-13T22:42:42.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i know exactly what you mean
<2022-09-13T22:43:10.000Z> Tenshii: Don't give up on your quest to find a solution though. Like I said it took me most my life to find a med that worked.
<2022-09-13T22:43:31.000Z> Tenshii: Apparently most topiramate side effects aren't long term. Did you at least try it out a few months before switching?
<2022-09-13T22:43:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i think i tried it for a month
<2022-09-13T22:44:07.000Z> Tenshii: Probably should have given it a longer try then
<2022-09-13T22:44:13.000Z> Tenshii: Even my meds take about 2 months to start working
<2022-09-13T22:44:16.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i know they say try them for 6 but man i was getting real tired of it by that point
<2022-09-13T22:44:26.000Z> Tenshii: You gotta push through it nigga 
<2022-09-13T22:44:33.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i know man
<2022-09-13T22:44:40.000Z> JarboTheHutt: trying my best
<2022-09-13T22:45:06.000Z> Tenshii: Not doubting you. Just cheering you on
<2022-09-13T22:45:26.000Z> Tenshii: With my meds I don't experience anything noticable when it comes to side effects. But if I find a rash on my body, I apparently need to RUSH to the emergency room lol
<2022-09-13T22:45:28.000Z> Tenshii: So far no rash
<2022-09-13T22:46:51.000Z> JarboTheHutt: did you have to go through a bunch before you found one that worked
<2022-09-13T22:47:30.000Z> Tenshii: many 
<2022-09-13T22:47:35.000Z> Tenshii: Actually had a lawsuit with one of them
<2022-09-13T22:47:38.000Z> Tenshii: Motherfuckers gave me man tits
<2022-09-13T22:47:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: hell no
<2022-09-13T22:47:50.000Z> Tenshii: Now I have to lift extra hard to not look like a tranny faggot
<2022-09-13T22:48:03.000Z> Tenshii: Hahaha yeah it was a big deal 
<2022-09-13T22:48:06.000Z> Tenshii: They lied about side effects
<2022-09-13T22:48:20.000Z> Tenshii: Bupropion 
<2022-09-13T22:48:23.000Z> JarboTheHutt: you did a trial/
<2022-09-13T22:48:25.000Z> JarboTheHutt: ?*
<2022-09-13T22:48:28.000Z> Tenshii: Class action
<2022-09-13T22:48:30.000Z> JarboTheHutt: that's some bullshit
<2022-09-13T22:48:39.000Z> Tenshii: Got surgery for it when I was 17
<2022-09-13T22:48:41.000Z> Tenshii: Mom paid for it
<2022-09-13T22:49:02.000Z> Tenshii: Mostly grew back, but I'm a firm dude now so it doesn't bother me, makes me look stronger 
<2022-09-13T22:49:22.000Z> Tenshii: But as a flabby teen, man, it was embarassing. Had a very very hard time with that growing up
<2022-09-13T22:49:51.000Z> JarboTheHutt: you have good parents man
<2022-09-13T22:50:10.000Z> Tenshii: I really do, despite some faults.
<2022-09-13T22:50:19.000Z> Tenshii: They divorced when I was in my early 20s. That was pretty hard and still is
<2022-09-13T22:51:34.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i'm sorry to hear that
<2022-09-13T22:51:49.000Z> Tenshii: Honestly these days I could give a fuck
<2022-09-13T22:52:01.000Z> Tenshii: Once I figured out I was good with women all of that pain and insecurity melted away
<2022-09-13T22:52:52.000Z> Tenshii: Probably did overcompensate a bit in my college years in that area, but I'm a dude, so, double standards 
<2022-09-13T22:53:05.000Z> JarboTheHutt: get it while you can
<2022-09-13T22:53:15.000Z> JarboTheHutt: all things considered it seems you've lived to the fullest
<2022-09-13T22:53:24.000Z> Tenshii: God no, not at all, but I've made due 
<2022-09-13T22:53:30.000Z> Tenshii: I'm only 30, still a lot left
<2022-09-13T22:53:39.000Z> JarboTheHutt: ah you're young
<2022-09-13T22:53:54.000Z> Tenshii: How old are you? Non-doxingly roughly
<2022-09-13T22:54:15.000Z> JarboTheHutt: 54
<2022-09-13T22:54:22.000Z> Tenshii: No shit nigga?
<2022-09-13T22:54:25.000Z> Tenshii: 54?
<2022-09-13T22:54:26.000Z> JarboTheHutt: no just joking
<2022-09-13T22:54:28.000Z> JarboTheHutt: 34
<2022-09-13T22:54:40.000Z> Tenshii: I was about to fucking say no way a 54 year old has a sense of humor and a voice like yours hahaha
<2022-09-13T22:54:50.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-13T22:55:01.000Z> Tenshii: You fat?
<2022-09-13T22:55:17.000Z> Tenshii: It's important, trust me
<2022-09-13T22:55:36.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i know. i hit the treadmill nearly every day now
<2022-09-13T22:55:53.000Z> Tenshii: That's good, but we're men. It's way more important you do some strength training.
<2022-09-13T22:55:54.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it definitely helps
<2022-09-13T22:56:01.000Z> Tenshii: Squats, deadlifts, overhead presses, bench....
<2022-09-13T22:56:21.000Z> Tenshii: If you can keep it going at least 3-4x a week, after 3 months you're going to feel like a different person
<2022-09-13T22:56:56.000Z> Tenshii: Find yourself a nigga who knows how to lift properly and make him your workout buddy, hit strength gyms and make it a thing
<2022-09-13T22:58:31.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it'll sound like an excuse but it's really hard for me to go anywhere at times
<2022-09-13T22:59:10.000Z> JarboTheHutt: the panic attacks... it's just a mess. i have a routine by which i live my life
<2022-09-13T22:59:23.000Z> JarboTheHutt: and it's fairly regimented and i'm just about able to maintain it
<2022-09-13T22:59:50.000Z> Tenshii: Hey man, I understand, I do.
<2022-09-13T23:00:02.000Z> Tenshii: The thing is to break yourself out of the norm a bit, try to find a way to work it into your routine.
<2022-09-13T23:00:18.000Z> Tenshii: I haven't had a panic attack in years, and this was before I started my meds. 
<2022-09-13T23:02:51.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i have a lot of work to do
<2022-09-13T23:03:06.000Z> Tenshii: And that's okay :)
<2022-09-13T23:03:59.000Z> JarboTheHutt: but i know fitness and mental health tread the same line to some extent
<2022-09-13T23:04:13.000Z> Tenshii: Not even to some extent, to the most extent possible. 
<2022-09-13T23:04:45.000Z> Tenshii: I'm constantly trying to reach out to dudes I knew growing up who grew up into 30+yo pussies who either don't have a relationship or are too depressed and fat to make a difference in their lives 
<2022-09-13T23:04:57.000Z> Tenshii: So trust me, I know it's not as easy as saying "Do this", because I say that enough lol
<2022-09-13T23:05:54.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i know i get it
<2022-09-13T23:06:29.000Z> Tenshii: Honestly I just have to tell myself
<2022-09-13T23:06:31.000Z> Tenshii: "Don't be a faggot"
<2022-09-13T23:06:49.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-13T23:06:50.000Z> Tenshii: Being happy takes work, it's not a state of mind that just naturally comes to most people
<2022-09-13T23:09:41.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i'm okay with not being happy. i don't think i've been happy in my entire life. i just don't want to be ill any more,
<2022-09-13T23:09:56.000Z> Tenshii: Well to be fair I guess I didn't mean happy
<2022-09-13T23:09:57.000Z> Tenshii: I meant more
<2022-09-13T23:09:58.000Z> Tenshii: Content
<2022-09-13T23:10:06.000Z> JarboTheHutt: everything else is a distraction to burn energy away from my brain which is always thinking
<2022-09-13T23:10:26.000Z> Tenshii: That's a problem lots of creatives have
<2022-09-13T23:10:39.000Z> Tenshii: At least you utilize it. Your music is more than a meme bro, you're genuinely talented 
<2022-09-13T23:11:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i was on a label when i was 17
<2022-09-13T23:12:14.000Z> Tenshii: I believe it
<2022-09-13T23:12:22.000Z> Tenshii: I was in the death metal scene
<2022-09-13T23:12:52.000Z> JarboTheHutt: vocalist
<2022-09-13T23:12:57.000Z> Tenshii: Few of my friends got decently big, for what metals worth
<2022-09-13T23:12:59.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah Vocalist
<2022-09-13T23:13:48.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh i remember you telling me about this
<2022-09-13T23:14:12.000Z> Tenshii: Might have sent you the song I made for metokur's thing, can't remember
<2022-09-13T23:14:28.000Z> JarboTheHutt: no i don't think i've heard that
<2022-09-13T23:14:59.000Z> Tenshii: Obviously the lyrics did not age well
<2022-09-13T23:15:00.000Z> Tenshii: youtube.com/watch?v=M2jG9N8Zy28
<2022-09-13T23:15:19.000Z> Tenshii: This was shit together in a day, hit up my guitarist. he sent me the tracks, I got it recorded where I am. I hadn't made anything in a few years prior to this
<2022-09-13T23:16:02.000Z> JarboTheHutt: haha that's great 
<2022-09-13T23:16:16.000Z> Tenshii: youtube.com/watch?v=M7g0Yqh0dvw
<2022-09-13T23:16:23.000Z> Tenshii: Here's something more professional, did guest vocals for a friends band
<2022-09-13T23:16:28.000Z> Tenshii: The beginning is a sort of death metal duet
<2022-09-13T23:16:35.000Z> Tenshii: My vocals kick in at 17 seconds
<2022-09-13T23:19:23.000Z> JarboTheHutt: you have good technique
<2022-09-13T23:19:31.000Z> Tenshii: I miss it
<2022-09-13T23:19:40.000Z> Tenshii: Been wayyyy too long
<2022-09-13T23:20:36.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it's actually quite a good song
<2022-09-13T23:21:13.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah it's a shame because that buddy of my cucked out hard
<2022-09-13T23:21:33.000Z> Tenshii: Ended up dating another buddy of mines estranged wife. Who I warned him about (both buddies didn't know each other).
<2022-09-13T23:21:38.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Oh shit
<2022-09-13T23:21:40.000Z> Tenshii: Now he doesn't talk to me anymore
<2022-09-13T23:23:12.000Z> Tenshii: That's a whole other story though
<2022-09-13T23:23:17.000Z> Tenshii: He's in a pretty popular band actually
<2022-09-13T23:23:28.000Z> JarboTheHutt: If it's any consolation I don't keep in touch with anyone from my music days
<2022-09-13T23:23:36.000Z> Tenshii: Who I'm certain is only popular because they have a black chick doing lead singing and that gets them a lot of "muh racism stories" press
<2022-09-13T23:23:38.000Z> JarboTheHutt: I burned every bridge spectacularly
<2022-09-13T23:23:51.000Z> Tenshii: Nigga you gotta not burn bridges
<2022-09-13T23:24:21.000Z> JarboTheHutt: I know but tell 22 year old me
<2022-09-13T23:24:31.000Z> JarboTheHutt: 34 year old me knows better 
<2022-09-13T23:25:03.000Z> Tenshii: Haha well people are pretty forgiving I've found
<2022-09-13T23:25:22.000Z> JarboTheHutt: No man they robbed me blind
<2022-09-13T23:25:26.000Z> Tenshii: Gotta go to the store to pick up some groceries for the fam. I'll reply back when I'm back at the PC, if not sometime tomorrow 
<2022-09-13T23:25:33.000Z> Tenshii: Ok then fuck them fuck thieves 
<2022-09-13T23:25:40.000Z> Tenshii: But yeah, this was a great chat brother, I enjoyed it a lot
<2022-09-13T23:25:58.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Alright man. Thanks for the chat. Sorry to go on about my bullshit 
<2022-09-13T23:26:02.000Z> Tenshii: Also make a Destiny x Keffals song, because it's not a convo with Jarbo unless I harass you for a request
<2022-09-13T23:26:18.000Z> Tenshii: Bro I love hearing about the bullshit, don't sweat it. People being real makes for good convo
<2022-09-13T23:26:22.000Z> Tenshii: Aight I'm out, peace
<2022-09-13T23:26:29.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Take it easy man
<2022-09-14T16:30:02.000Z> Tenshii: Hey brother. Having a better day today?
<2022-09-14T16:39:14.000Z> JarboTheHutt: hey man. i'm okay thanks. how about you?
<2022-09-14T16:42:02.000Z> JarboTheHutt: getting the shit flagged out of my spotify. they're going to nuke it all
<2022-09-14T16:42:13.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it is what it is
<2022-09-14T16:53:31.000Z> Tenshii: I fucking hate that. The troon squad?
<2022-09-14T16:53:48.000Z> Tenshii: After my second morning work meeting I opened youtube to jam some Notorious HRT and saw it was gone
<2022-09-14T16:54:28.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i took it down temporarily
<2022-09-14T16:54:46.000Z> JarboTheHutt: they went after my distributor and they suspended me so no doubt everythings going to come off spotify
<2022-09-14T16:55:01.000Z> Tenshii: It seems Keffels is a pretty powerful terrorist 
<2022-09-14T16:55:24.000Z> Tenshii: I did some looking into their twitter a few weeks back. They have way too many close contacts in big tech companies. These fucking trannies need to go
<2022-09-14T16:55:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh they positioned themselves in such a way that their cover all the media outlets and gatekeep all release channels
<2022-09-14T16:56:28.000Z> Tenshii: I honestly think it's a good idea that more people attract their ire
<2022-09-14T16:56:40.000Z> Tenshii: These faggots are dangerously close to overplaying their hand
<2022-09-14T16:57:07.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i don't hate trans, honestly i hate straight men more
<2022-09-14T16:57:16.000Z> JarboTheHutt: they are the ones that have allowed this mockery to continue
<2022-09-14T16:57:20.000Z> Tenshii: Oh me either
<2022-09-14T16:57:28.000Z> Tenshii: One of my best friends is a extreme leftist antifa tranny
<2022-09-14T16:58:03.000Z> JarboTheHutt: there is a place for everything and everyone deserves to be represented but no one is above criticism and i should be able to make fun of everything
<2022-09-14T16:58:06.000Z> Tenshii: Surprises me still how close they are to me. I'm very straightforward about only using "they" because I was straight up with them about how I'd be lying to their face if I used "She/her"
<2022-09-14T16:58:21.000Z> Tenshii: That's the problem these fucks don't understand
<2022-09-14T16:58:25.000Z> Tenshii: It's all black and white with them
<2022-09-14T16:58:32.000Z> JarboTheHutt: no they understand, its just they want to become martyrs
<2022-09-14T16:58:48.000Z> Tenshii: I mean, I don't think they do honestly, at least not the mass of them
<2022-09-14T16:58:53.000Z> JarboTheHutt: they want people to hate them so much that one of those lunatics over on KF will go and do something
<2022-09-14T16:58:54.000Z> Tenshii: These leftists project their insecurities on others
<2022-09-14T16:59:42.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it's a plague that we allowed to happen
<2022-09-14T16:59:43.000Z> Tenshii: Many people have a really fucking hard time looking past the surface
<2022-09-14T16:59:51.000Z> Tenshii: You're right
<2022-09-14T16:59:58.000Z> Tenshii: They're just alogs at the end of the day
<2022-09-14T17:00:07.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh basically
<2022-09-14T17:00:11.000Z> Tenshii: For example, I obviously fucking love the Ralph memes
<2022-09-14T17:00:16.000Z> Tenshii: But I was at the Kingpin
<2022-09-14T17:00:24.000Z> Tenshii: I had a fucking blast, had some laughs, ect...
<2022-09-14T17:00:29.000Z> JarboTheHutt: please tell me you were the guy that hit him
<2022-09-14T17:00:32.000Z> Tenshii: Then I see how the internet described things. Completely devoid of reality
<2022-09-14T17:00:37.000Z> Tenshii: hahahha no, I was nice to Ralph, he was nice to me
<2022-09-14T17:00:48.000Z> Tenshii: Got to meet dick and hang out with Destiny a bit
<2022-09-14T17:01:07.000Z> Tenshii: The reality of that thing man. Was so much different than what it seemed online. People need to get outside more
<2022-09-14T17:01:33.000Z> Tenshii: The truth is, there was way more people than I thought would be there. People met, made friends, and just drank all night having a good time. 
<2022-09-14T17:01:50.000Z> Tenshii: Met a few dickheads and destiny fans and spent the entire night drinking and joking around
<2022-09-14T17:02:23.000Z> Tenshii: Then I find myself in a sunrise production video, and I see my leg in frame on Metokur's stream on it. Kind of famous now
<2022-09-14T17:02:34.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-14T17:03:11.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i would not go to one of these events. can't trust anyone
<2022-09-14T17:03:29.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah, I was a bit anxious at first. Didn't want any schizos fucking around
<2022-09-14T17:03:31.000Z> JarboTheHutt: all you need is one idiot
<2022-09-14T17:03:36.000Z> Tenshii: Exactly
<2022-09-14T17:03:46.000Z> Tenshii: Luckily the staff was pretty badass and had things together
<2022-09-14T17:05:40.000Z> Tenshii attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/29b0db96ef5dd87cc8c5159183675cb55ef6bf7e4fe2ded9b62d5e78e4ca6b96.png
<2022-09-14T17:05:46.000Z> Tenshii: You get 2 guesses to pick me out of this crowd
<2022-09-14T17:07:27.000Z> JarboTheHutt: rear left
<2022-09-14T17:07:43.000Z> Tenshii: Which dude, what shirt
<2022-09-14T17:08:04.000Z> JarboTheHutt: black shirt
<2022-09-14T17:08:08.000Z> Tenshii: Motherfucker....
<2022-09-14T17:08:10.000Z> Tenshii: How the fuck
<2022-09-14T17:08:32.000Z> Tenshii: That is indeed me in the black shirt https://i.poastcdn.org/db9b3a0eab12777f63c3d88a4019bf1f9e53b12852039e799b28728d2f3e2b9e.png
<2022-09-14T17:08:44.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-14T17:08:50.000Z> Tenshii: How the fuck did you do that
<2022-09-14T17:10:17.000Z> JarboTheHutt: well you work out habitually so that sets you apart to an extent
<2022-09-14T17:10:59.000Z> Tenshii: Dammit, fair. But funny enough that picture was taken right as I had just started lifting again. I didn't do a single exercise for 7 months straight and went on a strict calorie cut diet. Lost 80lbs. Thats me at my lightest
<2022-09-14T17:11:33.000Z> JarboTheHutt: got a good frame. can only improve on that
<2022-09-14T17:11:55.000Z> JarboTheHutt: some people end up looking weird when they work out
<2022-09-14T17:11:57.000Z> JarboTheHutt: disproportionate
<2022-09-14T17:12:00.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah, sometimes it's time to stop being a lard and utilize the tall giant nordic genes hahaha
<2022-09-14T17:12:43.000Z> Tenshii: That was a fun month too. Not long later I went to the betterdiscourse event. Got to hang out with that ActualJusticeWarrior guy, super fucking standup dude. Not near as autistic as he is online. Invited me to lunch with him and his girl and paid for it all
<2022-09-14T17:12:51.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh you do look icelandic. goes with the death metal growl
<2022-09-14T17:13:01.000Z> Tenshii: Also got to meet Brittany Venti and Lauren Southern that night. Made Venti blush and curl her hair 
<2022-09-14T17:13:17.000Z> Tenshii: I'm a bastard mix of random white people. I think my height comes from Dutch
<2022-09-14T17:14:12.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-09-14T17:14:52.000Z> Tenshii: Rant aside, point-being. I don't cosign internet spergs bullshit. Like whatever Ralph does, or whatever cringy shit Mersh is up to (he's a super awkward dude too).
<2022-09-14T17:14:57.000Z> Tenshii: But at the same time, the fucking alogs man.... 
<2022-09-14T17:15:18.000Z> Tenshii: I don't understand how someone can be emotionally invested in what's basically a TV show
<2022-09-14T17:16:36.000Z> JarboTheHutt: well same way they're invested in a tv show
<2022-09-14T17:16:42.000Z> JarboTheHutt: but i know what you mean
<2022-09-14T17:16:45.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it's obsessive
<2022-09-14T17:17:04.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah, it's more than just getting excited at the next episode or hating a character. Some niggas base their entire personalities around disliking another person
<2022-09-14T17:17:31.000Z> Tenshii: Oh something funny of note
<2022-09-14T17:17:39.000Z> Tenshii: When the Camera is off. Ralph is relatively normal
<2022-09-14T17:18:03.000Z> Tenshii: The second the camera goes on. He goes full WWE character. Was sort of surreal to witness in person
<2022-09-14T17:18:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: be back in 30 dude i just need to travel to the store
<2022-09-14T17:19:06.000Z> Tenshii: No prob, I'll be here working for the next 4 hours so just hit me up whenever
<2022-09-14T17:19:10.000Z> Tenshii: Save travels
<2022-09-14T17:19:13.000Z> Tenshii: Safe**
<2022-09-14T17:49:54.000Z> JarboTheHutt: He tries his best to play the showman 
<2022-09-14T17:50:37.000Z> Tenshii: He does. It's a shame what he's done to his show. I miss the old fun days. Still talk to Zidan on occasion
<2022-09-14T17:50:53.000Z> JarboTheHutt: How is Zidane doing these days 
<2022-09-14T17:51:12.000Z> Tenshii: He seems to be doing fine. Just life school and family. \
<2022-09-14T17:51:21.000Z> Tenshii: Clearly not a part of the internet shit anymore
<2022-09-14T17:51:52.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Best thing he could have done 
<2022-09-14T17:55:31.000Z> Tenshii: No shit. 
<2022-09-14T17:55:39.000Z> Tenshii: I considered becoming a political streamer at one point. 
<2022-09-14T17:55:45.000Z> Tenshii: Have my life ruined
<2022-09-14T17:56:54.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Different strokes for different folks 
<2022-09-14T17:57:09.000Z> Tenshii: I just checked my bank account. $100 incoming
<2022-09-14T17:57:10.000Z> Tenshii: From Twitch
<2022-09-14T17:57:32.000Z> Tenshii: I streamed a few months back at the end of 2020. Apparently I had people who stayed subbed to me for a while and it accumulated lol
<2022-09-14T17:58:51.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Nice. I get beer money sometimes from royalties from stuff I produced 15 years ago lol
<2022-09-14T17:59:19.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Sometimes I get random ones too from agencies in the states 
<2022-09-14T17:59:31.000Z> Tenshii: No shit? That's pretty cool
<2022-09-14T18:00:02.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Yeh it's always unexpected but nice to see 
<2022-09-14T18:01:45.000Z> JarboTheHutt: You'll laugh but I licensed some music to an American agency called PUMP and I found out a few years later they were using the music as background tracks in porn
<2022-09-14T18:28:39.000Z> Tenshii: Haha no fucking shit? I hope they at least had massive tiddies
<2022-09-14T18:29:24.000Z> JarboTheHutt: I got the statements and knew it was porn from the names but never watched them lol
<2022-09-14T18:30:15.000Z> Tenshii: "TyroneGivesRoadsideAnalToCuckMattsWife.420p"
<2022-09-14T18:30:34.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Yeh lol
<2022-09-14T18:31:04.000Z> Tenshii: So now that music is just a hobby, what do you do for work?
<2022-09-14T18:34:10.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Finance 
<2022-09-14T18:34:26.000Z> Tenshii: Wow, that sounds like a pretty lucrative field
<2022-09-14T18:34:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Not what I'm doing man
<2022-09-14T18:35:06.000Z> Tenshii: If that's the case you're not being utilized to your proper extent
<2022-09-14T18:35:48.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Extremely underutilised but I can understand why. I have to take a lot of time off work with my situation 
<2022-09-14T18:36:10.000Z> JarboTheHutt: They'll fire me eventually 
<2022-09-14T18:36:36.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Will find something else.
<2022-09-14T18:38:37.000Z> JarboTheHutt: I used to think money was everything and then I realised that I value my time more
<2022-09-14T18:45:44.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah I find that to be the truth more and more every day, but I make it a point to clock out as soon as I hit 8 hours most days. Otherwise I find mysef working 10+ hours sometimes
<2022-09-16T15:18:26.000Z> Tenshii: Hey brother
<2022-09-16T15:20:10.000Z> JarboTheHutt: hey man. hows it going
<2022-09-16T15:28:43.000Z> Tenshii: So I've had a few conversations with some friends I know, separately, that lead me to similarities between our convo
<2022-09-16T15:28:59.000Z> Tenshii: And remember when you asked how I was able to separate myself from the bullshit without distancing myself from people?
<2022-09-16T15:29:10.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh
<2022-09-16T15:29:17.000Z> Tenshii: Finally found the word for it
<2022-09-16T15:29:42.000Z> Tenshii: "Boundaries". Never thought of it that way, never really considered what people meant when they talk about boundaries because 99% of the time it's just people spouting off random platitudes without any deeper meaning
<2022-09-16T15:29:50.000Z> Tenshii: But yeah, apparently I'm really good at setting boundaries 
<2022-09-16T15:31:07.000Z> JarboTheHutt: moreso than most people i'd imagine
<2022-09-16T15:31:28.000Z> Tenshii: I'm still trying to develop the concept into good words, because it's new for me to think about it this way
<2022-09-16T15:31:52.000Z> Tenshii: But in another conversation about relationships with one of my best buds, he pointed out that it's the word I'm looking for
<2022-09-16T15:32:05.000Z> Tenshii: And then last night I had a conversation with a female friend of mine who's on the edge of suicide.
<2022-09-16T15:32:37.000Z> Tenshii: She said something along the lines of how "She ruins peoples lives" and "I'd have ruined you!" and whatever kind of psycho depressed woman shit, ya know
<2022-09-16T15:33:04.000Z> Tenshii: But that's the thing. She couldn't have "ruined me". Very few people can. It's not like I'm just handing out buttons to people in my life that could kill me with the press of it.
<2022-09-16T15:33:30.000Z> Tenshii: I set boundaries, moreso, internally even. That protect me from these things.And not in some sort of "distant" and emotionless way. I think expectations are a part of that too
<2022-09-16T15:33:44.000Z> JarboTheHutt: have you considered
<2022-09-16T15:33:46.000Z> JarboTheHutt: that you might be
<2022-09-16T15:33:51.000Z> JarboTheHutt: a psycopath
<2022-09-16T15:33:56.000Z> JarboTheHutt: just kidding 
<2022-09-16T15:34:00.000Z> Tenshii: I mean....
<2022-09-16T15:34:13.000Z> Tenshii: I do have some narcissistic tendencies 
<2022-09-16T15:34:40.000Z> Tenshii: But even if that IS the case. I have a pretty high capacity for empathy, and my actions make up for any internal bias towards myself I could have
<2022-09-16T15:35:15.000Z> Tenshii: I mean for fucks sake nigga. The first thing I thought about before bed last night was: "Maybe I can hit up Jarbo about this. Maybe this could help him, if at least a little"
<2022-09-16T15:36:05.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i appreciate that. it's important to be truly aware of oneself
<2022-09-16T15:37:09.000Z> Tenshii: Do you think you have a good grasp of yourself?
<2022-09-16T15:39:37.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i mean i can understand my depression now that i'm older. i have that level of introspection that i can understand what is happening and steer away my thoughts to something else
<2022-09-16T15:40:45.000Z> JarboTheHutt: but i am complacent
<2022-09-16T15:41:16.000Z> JarboTheHutt: and this brain fog man, all the time
<2022-09-16T15:41:20.000Z> Tenshii: Being complacent or content aren't bad things, so that's good
<2022-09-16T15:41:47.000Z> Tenshii: Brain fog is definitely dogshit. But that's a multi-faceted issue that takes many different actions over time to fix
<2022-09-16T15:46:01.000Z> Tenshii: By the way, the medicine we talked about, the one you said you lasted about a month on
<2022-09-16T15:46:10.000Z> Tenshii: Brought that up with the GF, that IS the one she took
<2022-09-16T15:46:25.000Z> Tenshii: She stopped taking it right as this pregnancy started
<2022-09-16T15:47:10.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it helped her?
<2022-09-16T15:48:24.000Z> Tenshii: It did, yes, she said it worked very well. But it took 2 months or so, and the first month she was functionally retarded with a lot of simple memory loss and loss of words
<2022-09-16T15:52:36.000Z> JarboTheHutt: fuck man i really don't want to have to go through it all again
<2022-09-16T15:55:46.000Z> Tenshii: I'm not saying you have to brother, just that I had some more information on it
<2022-09-16T21:32:15.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i mean they don't even know that that's what it is, its a guess
<2022-09-16T21:32:35.000Z> JarboTheHutt: educated guess
<2022-09-17T01:12:36.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah, I understand man. I'm just hopeful
<2022-09-17T01:13:33.000Z> Tenshii: I work late, grab food for gf and daughter, exhausted, sit down.>New Jarbo The Hutt track
<2022-09-17T01:13:36.000Z> Tenshii: Thank you for this
<2022-09-17T02:43:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Lol no prob
<2022-09-17T04:14:03.000Z> Tenshii: "and his destiny is just to get sued for damages"
<2022-09-17T04:14:04.000Z> Tenshii: Fuck
<2022-09-17T04:14:06.000Z> Tenshii: That line goes so hard
<2022-09-17T04:14:09.000Z> Tenshii: So many lines do
<2022-09-17T06:15:50.000Z> JarboTheHutt: It is quite direct lol
<2022-09-20T15:08:48.000Z> Tenshii: Direct, but SLAPS. Lots of good lines in that song, the "mail/male" line was a banger too
<2022-09-20T15:08:55.000Z> Tenshii: How are you doing today brother
<2022-09-20T20:18:11.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Hey. Not bad how about you?
<2022-09-20T20:22:04.000Z> Tenshii: Just working. One of my teammates just started a week vacation so she had me pick up on her feature for the new system. Trying to get what she needs done
<2022-09-20T20:22:17.000Z> Tenshii: It's my first time seeing her code, it's a bit messy but she's dont a decent job
<2022-09-20T22:44:49.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Comment the shit out of that code lol
<2022-09-21T02:54:35.000Z> Tenshii: Man... they've deleted my comments before. Very rarely do people comment. It's frustrating 
<2022-09-28T22:12:23.000Z> Tenshii: New track is fire. Great job once again. You never miss, motherfucker!
<2022-09-29T05:57:20.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Thanks 👍
<2022-09-29T05:57:34.000Z> JarboTheHutt: How's things going 
<2022-09-29T14:20:15.000Z> Tenshii: Daughter caught a small bug from her cousin this weekend so we might be all a little sick. Nothing too serious but I'm not in the mood to feel drained. Good thing I've got some spare antibiotics if it gets me.Works been going pretty smooth too so thats nice. I think I start lifting again today, haven't worked out in a few weeks so I'm starting to feel lazy
<2022-09-29T14:20:19.000Z> Tenshii: How about yourself brother?
<2022-10-05T14:19:51.000Z> Tenshii: Oh no you went after poor Vito xD
<2022-10-05T14:20:13.000Z> JarboTheHutt: LOL
<2022-10-05T14:20:43.000Z> Tenshii: I wish he'd stop being a faggot. But this is too funny
<2022-10-05T14:21:39.000Z> Tenshii: The Gandolfini line is A+
<2022-10-05T14:23:53.000Z> JarboTheHutt: it's a shame that they only filmed cuties in 2D
<2022-10-05T14:24:09.000Z> Tenshii: Bro it's way to early in my day for me to be laughing 
<2022-10-05T14:24:36.000Z> Tenshii: I still can't get over how bad Vito's use of the "royal we" fucked him that hard.
<2022-10-05T14:25:20.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh he fucked up
<2022-10-05T14:25:57.000Z> Tenshii: I need to call into Biggest Problem and make fun of him for that. Dick gives him shit for using "we" the way he does and then he goes off making himself look like a pedo. He should have listened
<2022-10-05T14:27:50.000Z> JarboTheHutt: those two have a strange dynamic
<2022-10-05T14:28:26.000Z> Tenshii: Vito has grown on me. But he's just one freak-out away from becoming the next Maddox.From the context of things I've picked up on, I think his dad dying fucked him up bad
<2022-10-05T14:30:11.000Z> Tenshii: Dick was talking about his dad once in a certain way, and said something off-the-cuff that clearly reminded Vito of his dad, and you could see the light leave from his eyes. Kind of felt for the dude in that moment
<2022-10-05T14:32:33.000Z> JarboTheHutt: do you find him funny 
<2022-10-05T14:33:24.000Z> Tenshii: On occasion he can be very funny. Othertimes I want to slam his face into a toilet and flush it. But for the most part I think he plays a good role of co-host
<2022-10-05T14:36:44.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i guess
<2022-10-05T14:37:22.000Z> Tenshii: His twitter posts are unbearable. And he's almost as bad as Flamenco at making himself look like a dipshit. So in the end, it's great content for me
<2022-10-05T14:49:42.000Z> JarboTheHutt: something about him makes my skin crawl
<2022-10-05T14:50:35.000Z> Tenshii: Probably the Crisco that sweats from his skin lol
<2022-10-05T14:54:28.000Z> JarboTheHutt: lol
<2022-10-05T15:00:08.000Z> Tenshii: Hey man, I've got an extremely important question for you
<2022-10-05T15:02:04.000Z> JarboTheHutt: sure
<2022-10-05T15:02:42.000Z> Tenshii: Early 2000's Kate Beckinsale , or late 2000's Megan Fox?
<2022-10-05T15:04:27.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Kate
<2022-10-05T15:04:41.000Z> Tenshii: I knew you were a smart man
<2022-10-05T15:12:38.000Z> JarboTheHutt: megan fox is a trainwreck
<2022-10-05T15:25:45.000Z> Tenshii: It's a really painful truth. Was talking about her with some bros the other day and that chick went from a gorgeous woman to a plastic trashed Hollywood Cult-Pest
<2022-10-05T15:31:56.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Yeh it is pretty sad to think about. One of many
<2022-10-05T15:33:31.000Z> Tenshii: Get this shit bro. I told you I work for a majority Indian company.Indian guy who manages most of my city's division has been hosting lunches, floated the idea of shooting guns because he fucking loves them (now that he's in America). I get him pumped up about it. Now we're going to a gun range for a work outing this friday.Excited to teach this guy to shoot a rifle for his first time ever.
<2022-10-05T15:35:58.000Z> JarboTheHutt: so there's going to be like 50 indian guys at the range shooting
<2022-10-05T15:36:27.000Z> Tenshii: Well more like 1 indian guy, a hispanic, 2 white dudes, and a colorful diverse mix of a few women (Who I doubt most will show up for)
<2022-10-05T15:36:40.000Z> Tenshii: I get fucking pumped when people move here, especially to Texas, and fully embrace the culture
<2022-10-05T15:37:10.000Z> JarboTheHutt: I wish I'd have been born there
<2022-10-05T15:37:16.000Z> JarboTheHutt: This country is a literal prison
<2022-10-05T15:37:38.000Z> Tenshii: Yeah I saw another person get arrested for "online hate speech" the other day that they didn't even do. It's disturbing how cucked the Anglos have gotten
<2022-10-05T15:38:47.000Z> JarboTheHutt: yeh man it's embarassing
<2022-10-05T15:39:12.000Z> Tenshii: If the US keeps heading in this direction I can see Texas splitting off. Something I always thought was a schizo-dream in the past
<2022-10-05T15:39:17.000Z> JarboTheHutt: i've had my own experiences with the police. a lot of them are so sick of their job that they take it out on people
<2022-10-05T15:40:07.000Z> Tenshii: We get that shit too, but luckily we have a strong constitution and rights.Trump getting his supreme court picks may just be the best thing to happen out of his presidency 
<2022-10-08T01:55:30.000Z> Tenshii: Man, that was an absolute blast, just got back from the company thing at the shooting range. Only four of us but that made it better. Indian manager dude made my shooting look pathetic, the guy's grouping was insane. I'm amazed he hasn't shot many weapons because the dude is a fucking natural
<2022-10-08T08:16:45.000Z> JarboTheHutt: Lol
<2022-10-08T20:01:02.000Z> Tenshii: I need to work on my aim. I got wrecked