<2023-04-07T05:34:20.000Z> Varus: hi
<2023-04-07T05:37:35.000Z> Elliptica: Hey.
<2023-04-07T05:49:19.000Z> Varus: how are you
<2023-04-07T06:01:52.000Z> Elliptica: I'm good, how about you?
<2023-04-07T06:06:17.000Z> Varus: chilling
<2023-04-07T06:06:20.000Z> Varus: are you a biological female
<2023-04-07T06:15:19.000Z> Elliptica: I try not to admit it much here, but unfortunately.
<2023-04-07T06:17:00.000Z> Varus: hahaha
<2023-04-07T06:17:07.000Z> Varus: why is that
<2023-04-07T06:17:16.000Z> Varus: i had no clue actually it was just a hunch but wasn't sure
<2023-04-07T06:31:17.000Z> Elliptica: Unnecessary attention is annoying, especially since I'm not all that insightful. Also when I was growing up my parents drilled the “be anonymous when online” lesson a little too hard, so I’m usually not too forthcoming. But sometimes I slip up, obviously.
<2023-04-07T06:35:49.000Z> Varus: that is true if you're a woman you do get extra attention. many women do like attention tho esepcially online so thats unusual 
<2023-04-07T06:36:07.000Z> Varus: its a good idea to be anonymous especially nowdays with cancel culture. especially on a dissident platform such as this lol
<2023-04-07T06:36:34.000Z> Varus: I like what you post on your timeline so i wanted to dm you
<2023-04-07T07:04:15.000Z> Varus: whats your race
<2023-04-08T05:29:47.000Z> Elliptica: Most people like getting attention, women in spaces filled mostly with men have an easy time getting it thanks to the novelty of being there, and some exploit that. I, on the other hand, am deathly afraid of getting attention.Being anonymous is just a good practice because there are a lot of freaks out there. People got too lazy and assumed they would never be interesting enough for someone to mess with, when the truth is you really aren’t interesting enough to be messed with until you are.My race? It’s top secret. It can never be revealed.
<2023-04-08T05:32:47.000Z> Varus: im guessing either asian or white haha. that is true but the thing is even if i try really hard to conceal myself someone who is really after me will find me anyways. obviously don't reveal too many personal things but just look at how many have been doxxed already
<2023-04-08T05:33:00.000Z> Varus: lol you're even more reserved/schitzo than iam by not wanting to tell me your face LOL
<2023-04-08T05:42:05.000Z> Elliptica: Lol, I was joking. I've said it elsewhere on here, but I'm mostly Asian plus something else (mixed).
<2023-04-08T05:43:31.000Z> Elliptica: But yeah, I tend to keep most other things to myself concealed.
<2023-04-08T05:54:29.000Z> Varus: hahaha
<2023-04-08T05:54:41.000Z> Varus: well i like your posts they are interesting. hmm what kind of asian
<2023-04-08T05:54:49.000Z> Varus: so half asian half white?
<2023-04-08T06:11:01.000Z> Elliptica: Skewed towards Asian. Mostly Vietnamese, then a bit of other stuff. A quarter White.What about you?
<2023-04-08T06:12:13.000Z> Varus: oh interesting mix. part white and part asian is the only mix that looks good imo
<2023-04-08T06:12:20.000Z> Varus: im fully aran :)
<2023-04-08T20:48:36.000Z> Elliptica: Sometimes it works out, but a lot of hapas that I’ve met are gross looking. A lot of them are also incredibly insecure with themselves.
<2023-04-08T22:02:05.000Z> Varus: Do you have any of those issues 
<2023-04-09T02:04:06.000Z> Elliptica: Maybe a little bit, but not really.For example, I knew a half Japanese half German girl, but she totally rejected the German half. Really played up the "I'm Asian" angle at every chance she got.
<2023-04-09T02:38:37.000Z> Varus: Hmm that's because there is a big anti white narrative
<2023-04-09T02:38:53.000Z> Varus: So the path of least resistance is to not identify as white
<2023-04-09T02:39:08.000Z> Varus: Since youre on poast I'm guessing you know which group of people hate jews
<2023-04-09T07:01:53.000Z> Varus: I'm drunk af lol
<2023-04-09T19:59:36.000Z> Elliptica: I think that’s the problem as well, or at least part of it. Regardless of the narrative, I think they are torn between two cultures, since there is an expectation that you really need to pick one. But they will always feel like a bit of an imposter, that they are not fully one or the other. It causes a lot of strife.Maybe? Why are you drunk on Easter?
<2023-04-09T22:25:22.000Z> Varus: Right so they pick they least demonized racial group to identify as 
<2023-04-09T22:25:33.000Z> Varus: I had too much last night
<2023-04-10T00:22:47.000Z> Elliptica: Yep.I've never actually drank that much. Drinking makes me feel sick so I rarely do it ever.
<2023-04-10T00:32:06.000Z> Varus: I didnt have too much but I think because I was on empty stomach it hit me harder than normal
<2023-04-10T02:21:47.000Z> Elliptica: Oh, that makes sense.
<2023-04-10T03:49:14.000Z> Varus: any idea how to recover? my stomach feels agitated never happened before even if i drink a lot. i was smoking a cig and halfway i felt like shit and threw up
<2023-04-10T04:13:40.000Z> Elliptica: Try something like Pedialyte or Gatoraid. If you don't have that on hand, there are recipes for it. It's basically 90% water, 10% sugar, and a pinch of salt. Helps with dehydration, which may be why you feel bad.
<2023-04-10T05:15:02.000Z> Varus: Thanks I'll try the first one. I hear salty greasy food is good too
<2023-04-10T05:56:01.000Z> Elliptica: np.
<2023-04-11T04:54:05.000Z> Varus: I feel better now idk why it fucked me up. Maybe I should take break. I think the pedialyte helped and tasted good. Need a gf for sick moments like this smh
<2023-04-12T04:39:24.000Z> Varus: What kind of guys do you like
<2023-04-12T23:45:27.000Z> Elliptica: 7 feet tall with 240 pounds of muscle and a 200k job. To be honest, I don’t really know.
<2023-04-12T23:48:54.000Z> Elliptica: What kind of girls are you into?
<2023-04-13T01:05:47.000Z> Varus: Thought you were serious for a second 
<2023-04-13T01:06:21.000Z> Varus: Girls that are fit, if not fit at least normal bmi and cares about their health. Feminine, kind, caring and submissive
<2023-04-15T04:07:11.000Z> Varus: wbu
<2023-04-15T04:07:37.000Z> Elliptica: Hmm?
<2023-04-15T04:08:09.000Z> Varus: no reply
<2023-04-15T04:11:18.000Z> Varus: you didnt tell me your thoughts
<2023-04-15T04:12:16.000Z> Elliptica: Oh, on the types of girls you like? Honestly, that all sounds normal to me.
<2023-04-15T04:15:50.000Z> Elliptica: Sorry if I'm being dense.
<2023-04-15T05:16:42.000Z> Varus: No you just didnt reply is all
<2023-04-15T05:16:51.000Z> Varus: And what do you look for yourself?
<2023-04-16T07:23:54.000Z> Varus: Hi
<2023-04-16T07:30:45.000Z> Elliptica: Hey. Oh. Um… Well, like I said, I'm not exactly sure. I guess me self esteem is pretty low. Basically it’s in the gutter. I have a hard time justifying why type of people I like, since I don’t really match up to… my own standards I guess? It feels unfair for me to say “I want this” when I think “would anyone want me?”
<2023-04-16T07:33:07.000Z> Varus: aww why not you seem pretty intelligent. everyone has a type or ideal it does not have to be perfect
<2023-04-16T07:33:12.000Z> Varus: did you at least have a good weekend
<2023-04-16T07:38:02.000Z> Elliptica: I don't really think I'm all that smart, if I'm being honest. I'm good at digging up details on something, but I don't feel like I'm very good at problem solving.My weekend has been going okay so far. Weather has finally started to be nice where I am at (no more freezes), which has been good for my plants.
<2023-04-16T07:59:02.000Z> Varus: you seem smart to me plus you're smart enough to be here and part of us
<2023-04-16T07:59:28.000Z> Varus: yeah the weather has been a great boost for my mood and depression; the sun really helps with that but i feel like i should be doing something special in the weather but im not doing much with it
<2023-04-16T20:05:22.000Z> Elliptica: tbf I'm probably really stupid for being here. If I were smart I'd be streaming on YouTube playing video games badly while talking about trans rights or some other hot-topic left wing issue.You should go hiking. Best to do it in the spring before summer makes it too hot.
<2023-04-16T22:48:07.000Z> Varus: Well you'd also have to show cleavage thats how you get viewers
<2023-04-16T22:48:16.000Z> Varus: How do I find a good place to hike?
<2023-04-17T01:44:28.000Z> Elliptica: Look up local parks, state parks, or national parks in your area. A lot of them will have trail guides. This website is an option as well. It works sometimes, but it doesn't have every trail, usually just the most popular ones.alltrails.com/explore
<2023-04-17T04:23:58.000Z> Varus: i have been to one not too far away, but i really wanna try some much bigger and further away but i wanna go with people
<2023-04-24T04:49:14.000Z> Varus: how is spring going for you
<2023-04-24T04:59:07.000Z> Elliptica: It's... hard to say. It's been a bit a bit mixed lately, but I suppose nothing especially horrible has happened for me to say it was "bad" exactly.How about you?
<2023-04-24T06:19:23.000Z> Varus: im enjoying the really nice weather but havent done anything really special 
<2023-04-25T05:09:11.000Z> Elliptica: Weather keeps turning on me. At first it was warm, but we keep getting cold fronts lately.I guess I get that feeling. I'm in the dumps, I feel like the year is almost over and nothing has really improved.
<2023-04-25T05:42:05.000Z> Varus: Its still relatively warm here although it does switch back and forth. Lots of sun or lots of rain
<2023-04-25T05:42:29.000Z> Varus: Yeah exactly. Like the weather is nice but its not enough for some reason to improve my mood maybe I need a gf
<2023-04-25T05:42:47.000Z> Varus: What are your thoughts on berserk
<2023-04-29T23:06:22.000Z> Elliptica: Sorry, I just saw this message. I think if I leave a window open on another computer, it does not tell me that I received a DM...I've not watched berserk. I started watching anime after it was popular, and I never really picked it up. What's it about (besides a big guy with a big sword who is sad, or something)?
<2023-05-01T07:40:07.000Z> Varus: np fedi dms actually do not work well with notifications for some reason its happened
<2023-05-01T07:40:30.000Z> Varus: thouhgt you being asian you'd know lol. id recommend you watch but its basically medieval fantasy
<2023-05-01T07:40:32.000Z> Elliptica: I have the same problem with notifications too.
<2023-05-01T07:40:42.000Z> Varus: what do you prefer to do n free time instead
<2023-05-01T07:41:33.000Z> Elliptica: I draw (I use to be an art major before I switch to stem), recently I've really gotten into photography.
<2023-05-01T07:44:50.000Z> Varus: Yeah its problem with fedi I think when you have more than one window
<2023-05-01T07:46:56.000Z> Varus: You kinda do seem like the artsy type. You might appreciate the artwork in berserk 
<2023-05-01T07:47:20.000Z> Varus: Its interesting what made you switch. I'm gonna guess you switched to biology or something
<2023-05-01T07:58:16.000Z> Elliptica: I might try to watch it then, but I'm not sure where to start. wasn't it restarted a few times, or something like that?I don't have a great reason for why I switched, it was lots of little reasons. Probably the biggest was how much nepotism there was in art. Networking was really crucial and I had a hard time getting along with a lot of other students.I switched to physics actually, but it was to do astronomy, and I ended up doing aeronomy. I like biology too. actually I like most science... I'm really just scatter brained with what I'm interested in most of the time, lol.
<2023-05-01T08:13:55.000Z> Varus: I didn't know that about art but I'm also not really surprised. Aren't art people really liberal
<2023-05-01T08:14:54.000Z> Varus: Hmm really interesting. Do you enjoy physics or what you do now
<2023-05-01T08:15:38.000Z> Varus: I like physics and astronomy too quite rare to find another especially female. 
<2023-05-01T16:26:22.000Z> Elliptica: Yeah, most artists are, but in academic settings almost everyone is. The bigger problem is how cutthroat they are. Most of them are “toxic” to steal a word. They will mess with you, make you feel bad, spread rumors, publicly give negative critiques of other artists works just to make theirs look better, and do anything and every else if it helps them get ahead. Everything becomes cliquish if you want to survive, it’s like you are in a prison gang. It’s not a place for people who want to maintain good mental health.
<2023-05-01T16:26:27.000Z> Elliptica: Women in physics / astro is not as uncommon as many think. Certainly biology and chemistry departments are majority female now, and comparatively women are not exactly common in physics, but it’s trending away from that. Probably a 3rd of the students in the department at my school were female. My advisor was, as was the department chair. Almost all of them were in astrophysics too. One of the most preeminent astronomers today, Sara Seeger, is obviously as well. Men are really only wildly more common in niche areas now.
<2023-05-01T16:26:32.000Z> Elliptica: I’m not really sure how I like it. It’s kind of a hard question.  
<2023-05-04T05:26:19.000Z> Varus: Sorry for late reply forgot to respond. Yeah thats how i imagine it and now you add on top how expensive art schools are it makes sense it attracts people like that. i also noticed a lot of liberals and people with different color hair when i was there. 
<2023-05-04T05:27:23.000Z> Varus: maybe has something to do with more women going to college than men a trend which is interesting to wonder why. Psychology also has a lot of females but its not exactly a hard science. If i had to pick physics i'd pick astrophysics too
<2023-05-04T05:28:11.000Z> Varus: i think more i was trying to ask what made you switch to that specifically
<2023-05-04T05:28:22.000Z> Varus: what do you mean by men switch to niche stuff
<2023-05-04T05:37:54.000Z> Elliptica: Uh, well, I got really depressed early on. I didn't really make any friends and I didn't really have a lot of support going into art since my parents really wanted me to become a lawyer. Increasingly, I didn't feel like I was going to get anywhere anyway, no matter how hard I tried. As for "why astronomy", it's a long story, but basically I just liked it ever since I was young.Ironically, that's how I'm starting to feel again.
<2023-05-04T05:41:00.000Z> Elliptica: Women are not really trail blazers exactly. Then tend to start in a known and established areas, and then go out from there.Men, on the other hand, tend to dig into whatever they find interesting regardless of how established it is or if it even matters. For example, there is one guy here who is really into brewing. His whole PhD thesis is based around designing a device to accurately measure types of beers. It's very niche.
<2023-05-04T05:52:25.000Z> Elliptica: Err, I guess I should correct that. I think there are two groups of men. The first, and largest group is similar to women, that they go to more... established fields, but only for chasing money. It does not matter how stupid it is, if it makes money, they'll be there. I guess these men are similar to women.However there are a smaller number of men who do what I said, and I rarely see women do something like that.
<2023-05-04T05:55:00.000Z> Varus: i feel like college is a depressing experience in general with how expensive it is and how alienating it feels 
<2023-05-04T05:55:40.000Z> Varus: yes i feel like most people go to fields that will give them the most money i feel like most men are like that. think about engineering for example thats male dominated
<2023-05-04T05:56:05.000Z> Varus: its pretty cool that you astrophyics tho i used to like it when i was younger as well. i don't think i've meet another person much less a female who likes it
<2023-05-04T05:56:28.000Z> Varus: i feel like its never something you really tell someone because i always felt it was really nerdy and no girl would be interested in it
<2023-05-04T05:59:18.000Z> Elliptica: Yeah, College is just a depressing place. It does not help that I'm really socially inept.
<2023-05-04T06:00:37.000Z> Elliptica: I think a lot of people like astrophysics actually. But they like they like to big "fantastic" parts. Most would fall asleep hearing the details.
<2023-05-04T06:00:52.000Z> Elliptica: What about astro do you find interesting?
<2023-05-04T06:05:06.000Z> Varus: yes exactly. a big part of going to college is also like making social connections and if you fail at that it kinda makes it even worse. yeah im just shy and not very social mostly withdrawn so making new friends is hard. most friends in college are superficial anyways once semester changes you're done with them
<2023-05-04T06:07:33.000Z> Varus: i find physics and science interesting in general but i think the "scope" of astrophysics is what made fascinated me. I just like understanding how things work because im inquisitive but astrophycis really takes on another level and kinda encompasses all of existence. hard to put what i like about it but i've kinda stopped inquiring too much into it once i realize we hit a point where we simply just dont know much anymore. it became too abstract with dark matter and stuff
<2023-05-04T06:08:00.000Z> Varus: would have been really cool if i had meet someone irl like you. you seem similar to me xd
<2023-05-05T05:20:34.000Z> Elliptica: Yeah. In smaller departments like physics, it's easier to get to know people since the classes that are required are more standardized. But even then, I didn't make any close friends with anyone.
<2023-05-05T05:21:45.000Z> Elliptica: I know what you mean by the "scope" thing. There are lots of things that I like, so it was hard for me to pick just one. Astro felt like an out on that, but it really isn't. Most astronomy research  today is actually statistical modeling and computer science.
<2023-05-05T05:23:45.000Z> Elliptica: You probably wouldn't like me IRL. I try to interact with people, but it doesn't work.
<2023-05-05T06:24:29.000Z> Varus: i like the smaller classes because it feels more like a community rather than large classes. i did make some friends in those cases but it felt very superficial and short lived
<2023-05-05T06:26:47.000Z> Varus: i guess with astro degree you can go and do computer science but that also applies with physics as well. you said you switched to aeronomy i haven't heard of anyone with that before it seems unique
<2023-05-05T06:27:30.000Z> Varus: why doesn't it work? i'm shy myself so idk if i would start a conversation unless i knew what you like
<2023-05-05T06:41:35.000Z> Elliptica: I was more or less in the astrophysics camp. Aeronomy is the study of the upper atmosphere, so it’s kind of a mix of atmospheric science and astrophysics. Got into because of a class project required me to work with different staff in the department. Started off designing things to measure ozone, and ended up moving to measuring airglow, which is a growing problem for observatories. Latest thing I’ve done was related to observing sprites, basically a rare type of lighting. But yeah, same idea applies, in theory lots of skills I can use elsewhere, maybe.
<2023-05-05T06:44:23.000Z> Elliptica: Well, I struggle to talk to people. Most people don't care about the things I care about, I don't even know where to start when talking to people. I tend to get on peoples nerves because I assume they don't like me, or because I bad mouth myself a lot. I just feel like I can't win, so I don't say much of anything. Then no one really remembers me.
<2023-05-05T07:05:45.000Z> Varus: cant say i know too much about it but it sounds cool and i suppose more practical or down to earth (pun intended) than astrophysics 
<2023-05-05T07:06:30.000Z> Varus: i think i know what you mean i have same issue especially if strange. if someone first time i meet idk what to talk about really you just have to get to know them and break ice
<2023-05-05T07:06:38.000Z> Varus: if you're a woman tho you can at least get a guy to talk to you
<2023-05-05T07:06:46.000Z> Varus: what made you join poast?
<2023-05-05T14:42:57.000Z> Elliptica: Maybe it's easier at first, but if you don't know what to say then it stops there. I'm also not entirely sure that's completely true, since in my experience guys try to get you to talk about yourself, and I don't know what to say.
<2023-05-05T14:43:02.000Z> Elliptica: Me and a group of people were friends with Wyatt for a short time. We all joined when poast started.
<2023-05-06T05:25:08.000Z> Varus: you know wyatt irl ?
<2023-05-06T05:25:13.000Z> Varus: lol that guy is an interseting character 
<2023-05-06T05:25:25.000Z> Varus: just talk about what you genuinly find interesting or talk about what the other person finds interesting
<2023-05-06T05:25:32.000Z> Varus: tbh im kinda shit on this so im not much different from you
<2023-05-06T05:28:30.000Z> Elliptica: Not irl, only online (we were all in a discord server). Don't know him much better than most people, though I do know what his voice sounds like.I do that, but people get bored with what I have to say. I'm just not very good at conversations.
<2023-05-06T05:33:17.000Z> Varus: i feel you i kinda suck too. i think you just have to kinda read what people like and what interests them
<2023-05-06T05:33:23.000Z> Varus: did you ever use twitter before poast?
<2023-05-06T20:40:16.000Z> Elliptica: Yeah, I know to do that, but I'm bad at that too, since I don't really share interests. I sometimes feel like I feel off the tracks or something. I was reasonable popular in High School, but I feel like during college everyone became retarded. Now I don't have anything in common with most people.
<2023-05-06T20:42:04.000Z> Elliptica: Yeah I used it a bit, then I got banned and never returned. I thought about going back but most people there just makes me angry. That, and Jewish bots make it impossible to talk to anyone. It really just makes me wish the planet would explode...
<2023-05-07T00:43:17.000Z> Varus: Thats because college is a Marxist indoctrination center 
<2023-05-07T00:43:32.000Z> Varus: What about gab?
<2023-05-07T00:43:47.000Z> Varus: Twitter does indeed have a lot of idiotic people who post dumb shit that is of no consequence
<2023-05-07T02:18:32.000Z> Elliptica: Hmm, no I never used gab, what about you?
<2023-05-07T02:19:49.000Z> Elliptica: I suppose that's true about twitter, but I think it's true about everywhere else. The problem with Twitter is that it forces you to see things you don't like, and it's too easy to get banned for confronting it, if you are on the "wrong side".
<2023-05-07T02:20:18.000Z> Elliptica: It just leaves you feeling drained and depressed, and I'm already naturally depressed, so it's not good for me.
<2023-05-07T02:20:35.000Z> Elliptica: I probably shouldn't be on poast for that same reason, tbh.
<2023-05-07T02:43:21.000Z> Varus: i think social media is messed up in general we are replacing human interaction with digital
<2023-05-07T02:43:34.000Z> Varus: poast is nice design wise and i can say whatever i want but it has its own echo chamber problems
<2023-05-07T02:43:44.000Z> Varus: how was your day anyways what you have for dinner
<2023-05-07T16:08:00.000Z> Elliptica: It’s not an echo chamber by design, but yeah. I treat this place more like a big group chat. It is unfortunate that you can’t get more reach, but that is part of the strategy of those in power. They don’t want young people exposed to different ideas, because when they become adults and get into positions of power, they’ll still reflect on them. The fact that people, even on our side, don’t really understand that appealing to 30+ year old people is a losing strategy is a massive problem.
<2023-05-07T16:08:05.000Z> Elliptica: My day was kind of crappy. I'm about to go on a long road trip next week, and I discovered that squirrels or rats or something have made a nest inside the hood of my car. Not really sure if they damaged anything or not. I’m hoping not.
<2023-05-07T16:08:11.000Z> Elliptica: I didn’t eat anything special, just a salad with some chicken. What about you?
<2023-05-07T18:33:46.000Z> Varus: i think the point of fediverse is to resist the censorship that exists in the mainstream platforms
<2023-05-07T18:34:02.000Z> Varus: so we are sacrificing the reach of mainstream platforms with the ability to say things normally not allowed on twitter etc
<2023-05-07T18:34:23.000Z> Varus: why is appealing to 30+ a problem? shouldn't it be to appeal to as many people as possible
<2023-05-07T18:34:44.000Z> Varus: damn that really sucks
<2023-05-07T18:35:04.000Z> Varus: at least you're going on a road trip and doing something interesting. i had burger 
<2023-05-07T19:41:26.000Z> Elliptica: Well, there are a couple reasons. Gay activists, racial activists, etc, had the least amount of success going after adults. They had the most success targeting children who are young and impressionable. This is why everything is child focused. For instance this is the purpose of gay pride shows, drag queen story hours, and why the various “history months” are all during the school year). It’s also why they prime race riots during the summer months, when kids are out of school. This is why they were so fixated on censoring stuff on social media.They do this to normalize certain ideas in them and then, when they become adults, they lax or change the rules and implement these new ideas. Adults tend to be more set in their ways, and have the lowest potential to change things since their careers are already on a fixed trajectory. This makes them undesirable targets to appeal towards in our situation. Basically, we need to do whatever our enemies do.
<2023-05-07T19:41:33.000Z> Elliptica: I’m not really looking forward to the road trip. It’s to visit family, and as much as I love them, I don’t really want to see them right now.
<2023-05-08T05:11:20.000Z> Varus: do you have bad relations with them?
<2023-05-08T05:12:22.000Z> Varus: yes what you're saying does make sense. the point of marxist indoctrination is to mold the publics opinion. and it does appear that children are the most easily pliable however you still need 30+ who can form an organization to be able to make all of those changes 
<2023-05-08T05:16:35.000Z> Elliptica: My relationship with them is good, they are just going to nag me about everything.
<2023-05-10T12:57:57.000Z> Varus: This you? https://i.poastcdn.org/6afa95231471574f3cc5df91b0adf91d9a99c37d05a1c2176d5bf866d0fc6b4e.jpg