<2021-12-12T04:51:23.000Z> Chance: why are you so fixated on this now? i speak in over generalizations and none of it was directed at you personally. yes my usage of whore is too liberal but still. what do i have to do to make this right?
<2021-12-12T04:59:31.000Z> Chance: you responded to my first post about it today. maybe you werent on earlier then. i do not call women these things irl. 
<2021-12-12T05:00:01.000Z> Chance: but im not going to be convinced you didnt take what i said personally if for the past few days you randomly appear only when i post about something woman related
<2021-12-12T05:01:39.000Z> Chance: i kind of get what you say but it also just feels like you want me to ditch my standards. 
<2021-12-12T05:03:21.000Z> Chance: i dont know why you would. but from my experience women seem to take things personally when it isnt. but also i have been very insulting to women so i would completely understand if you were offended
<2021-12-12T05:04:48.000Z> Chance: when i talk bad about women im subconsciously directing it at the majority of modern women. not all women. and yeah i probably dont make that clear. but im just speaking from what i have seen and continue to see both online and offline
<2021-12-12T05:05:20.000Z> Chance: as many have said. if i actually knew good women my perception of them would probably change
<2021-12-12T05:09:59.000Z> Chance: i have always sucked at getting across what i want to say. i was also just pissed off and venting my frustration. and in the process i used harsh words. but that is online only and not irl. irl i am much more laid back and respectful. 
<2021-12-12T05:23:53.000Z> Chance: im surprisingly good at being neutral in person 
<2021-12-12T05:24:06.000Z> Chance: but i have never had this convo in person with someone who disagrees with me
<2021-12-12T05:27:12.000Z> Chance: you say you did not take it personally but honestly the way this has been going says otherwise. so i just dont and wont believe it
<2021-12-12T17:30:49.000Z> Chance: Why are women so damn difficult for no fucking reason geez 
<2021-12-12T18:00:19.000Z> Chance: this is shit is what broke my last relationship. refuses to tell me shit despite the fact i know something is wrong. then just up and leaves. and refuses to explain. i finally learned what really happened SIX FUCKING YEARS LATER! 
<2021-12-12T18:00:48.000Z> Chance: but sure. yeah. keep on going. 
<2021-12-12T18:01:08.000Z> Chance: its almost like problems cant be fixed if nobody knows what the fuck is happening
<2021-12-12T18:37:09.000Z> Chance: You people are so fucking confusing. For no damn reason. 
<2021-12-12T20:18:07.000Z> Chance: lol. no im not ganna play any more games. you can explain whit when youre ready but get off my back in the meantime. im sorry i offended you
<2021-12-12T20:23:36.000Z> Chance: im not trying to do anything. you are the one bringing up that one convo with every interaction
<2021-12-12T20:26:27.000Z> Chance: you have been. im not stupid. i can tell when something is up
<2021-12-12T20:26:38.000Z> Chance: i might be autistic but im not retarded
<2021-12-12T20:27:41.000Z> Chance: as far as i know im not autistic
<2021-12-12T20:27:51.000Z> Chance: that was a joke
<2021-12-12T20:29:26.000Z> Chance: mmmmhm
<2021-12-12T20:31:25.000Z> Chance: i may be misreading some things but just generally the overall way this has gone just doesnt say what you claim. 
<2021-12-12T20:32:38.000Z> Chance: okay. ill just drop it
<2021-12-12T20:33:34.000Z> Chance: im not trying to gaslight you
<2021-12-12T20:34:30.000Z> Chance: the feeling i got was that i upset you and i just wanted to fix that. if im wrong then we can just move on then
<2021-12-12T20:34:59.000Z> Chance: im not trying to be malicious in any way 
<2021-12-12T20:37:58.000Z> Chance: yes i know. and like i said. this is not the usual behavior for me. and even then it was directed at more the modernist tik tok thot generation and not all women. ive talked to 2 of the younger married women on here in dms the past few days and its really helped 
<2021-12-12T20:40:46.000Z> Chance: i also just really really suck at properly saying what im trying to say
<2021-12-12T20:41:50.000Z> Chance: ive always seen tha tin cnotext to women who have large body counts generally implying that their pussy has been beat to beef
<2021-12-12T20:43:51.000Z> Chance: i like how you referered to roastie women as "itself" 
<2021-12-12T20:44:02.000Z> Chance: just find that funny
<2021-12-12T20:47:59.000Z> Chance: in your opinion. how likely is it i will find the virgin gf? just want your take
<2021-12-12T20:51:31.000Z> Chance: i feel like im going to have to just accept that i wont get one or be single forever. 
<2021-12-12T20:51:40.000Z> Chance: which seems to be backed by most people
<2021-12-12T20:51:52.000Z> Chance: technicality? 
<2021-12-12T20:53:59.000Z> Chance: im really sorry that happened
<2021-12-12T20:55:56.000Z> Chance: the religious circles arent really any better. unless its a very traditional latin mass circle. which i want to go into
<2021-12-12T20:56:52.000Z> Chance: you are the second woman i have talked to that was a virgin and got sexually asaaulted/raped
<2021-12-12T20:58:04.000Z> Chance: not at all actually. modern religious circles dont even think that saving yourself for marriage is a thing. the catholics teach it but almost nobody follows it. and a lot of them dont get married early unless they are once again in the trad circles
<2021-12-12T20:59:25.000Z> Chance: i know it probably doesnt mean much to you coming from me but i still consider you a virgin if you were raped. i wont hold that against anyone in my partner choices
<2021-12-12T21:00:46.000Z> Chance: public schools are very good at brainwashing. the church is very weak and the public education is very strong. so women will follow the stronger entity. how old are you? it might have been different then depending because a lot of this happened very quickly
<2021-12-12T21:02:04.000Z> Chance: the other lady i know who got raped fully believed she as ruined and then dropped the no sex before marriage thing. very sad
<2021-12-12T21:02:22.000Z> Chance: i will be 22 this month
<2021-12-12T21:03:06.000Z> Chance: your mom sounds based but maybe too based. 
<2021-12-12T21:03:19.000Z> Chance: you dont harm the kid. but its a good message overall
<2021-12-12T21:04:27.000Z> Chance: you are better than 99% of women then
<2021-12-12T21:05:16.000Z> Chance: the other lady more or less fell for the "well get married dont worry about it" and then never got married. so men will abuse that system
<2021-12-12T21:05:52.000Z> Chance: she is almost 30 now and has come to terms with her mistake and isnt having sex anymore. but still. a pretty sad situation
<2021-12-12T21:06:12.000Z> Chance: yes. men are manipulative scum
<2021-12-12T21:06:32.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Women aren't better. They're just different. 
<2021-12-12T21:06:39.000Z> Chance: true
<2021-12-12T21:07:50.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: It only gets worse if they're a narc or have narc tendencies. Women are no better than men and I'm tired of people saying they are. They're not equal. They're different and they're both horrible in their own unique ways at the end of the day? 
<2021-12-12T21:07:53.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: *. 
<2021-12-12T21:08:22.000Z> Chance: ill agree on this. i try my best to not be those bad men
<2021-12-12T21:09:08.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: There are good men. There are kind men. Those are the ones I try to interact with in general. 
<2021-12-12T21:09:32.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Unfortunately, I've definitely been burned by that by trying to help men. That's part of what caused what happened to me. 
<2021-12-12T21:09:44.000Z> Chance: hopefully i didnt put myself off the bad list 
<2021-12-12T21:10:32.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: No. I do think you can improve and do better. 
<2021-12-12T21:10:40.000Z> Chance: the female tendency to fix men isnt great. especially depending on what they are broken on
<2021-12-12T21:11:16.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I wasn't trying to 'fix' him. I wouldn't have ever dated him or anything else. 
<2021-12-12T21:11:51.000Z> Chance: id ask more but idk if you really want to get into the details or not
<2021-12-12T21:11:53.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: All I was trying to do was help him get a girlfriend and help him with women and my thinking was my expertise of being a woman would help him. 
<2021-12-12T21:13:02.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: He went on some dates with women and asked me to help him out. He then asked if I wanted to hang out with him and my thinking was like, this should be totally fine. Men are normally repulsed by me. Apparently not then. 
<2021-12-12T21:13:15.000Z> Chance: so you tried to help him get a gf and as repayment he raped you? i understand the women who say "why are men" 
<2021-12-12T21:14:23.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah, apparently I said something to have him keep asking to go to his house and he wouldn't take no for an answer then and wouldn't take no for an answer when I kept telling him I didn't want to sleep with him. I didn't want him touching me at all. 
<2021-12-12T21:14:46.000Z> Chance: thats horrible. im really sorry
<2021-12-12T21:14:53.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: So it goes. 
<2021-12-12T21:15:10.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Can't change it. But I definitely spend a lot more time and energy thinking about that then I want to. 
<2021-12-12T21:15:39.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Definitely want to kill him though. 
<2021-12-12T21:16:06.000Z> Chance: he should be put down
<2021-12-12T21:16:18.000Z> Chance: in the worst possible way
<2021-12-12T21:17:47.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah, he's still trying to sleep with me again. It's not working, but I get very anxious at the thought of seeing him in public. Everytime I see him I just freeze and get very overwhelmed. 🤷 
<2021-12-12T21:18:16.000Z> Chance: how can someone have the ability to rape someone and then still persue them?
<2021-12-12T21:18:48.000Z> Chance: did you make police reports at least?
<2021-12-12T21:19:40.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I didn't, unfortunately. I should have, but it took me almost a year to accept that I was raped. 
<2021-12-12T21:20:01.000Z> Chance: its a tough situation when something so traumatic happens
<2021-12-12T21:20:11.000Z> Chance: you dont think correctly for a long time
<2021-12-12T21:20:22.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I very much convinced myself that I was not and everyone I've told what happened kept telling me I was raped. I finally accepted it last summer when it happened in September of 2019.
<2021-12-12T21:20:57.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I knew what had happened but I blamed myself because I thought I was the problem. I was not the problem. I was the victim. 
<2021-12-12T21:21:16.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, i imagine it's because he doesn't CARE about what he did. 
<2021-12-12T21:22:11.000Z> Chance: im really sorry. i wish i could offer more to you or help you in some way. nobody deserves that shit
<2021-12-12T21:22:49.000Z> Chance: but no. it isnt your fault. hes just a scumbag. and deserves to be shot
<2021-12-12T21:24:00.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: It's totally fine. But it's definitely a relevant discussion we all need to have in this day and age. I'm likely not the only one. Especially because my friend was in a relationship with a man who was consistently sexually assaulting her and abusing her. They're not together anymore. 
<2021-12-12T21:24:01.000Z> Chance: and no man worth is existence would ever hold that against you in any way
<2021-12-12T21:25:26.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, i fully believe he is a scumbag now. I saw him back in May in a pharmacy and he came up to me and was talking to me and trying to get me to meet up with him again. Needless to say, it didn't work very well. 
<2021-12-12T21:25:29.000Z> Chance: this is one big issue i have with the fediverse. the men here are pretty bad. lots of rape stuff and sexual degenerates. there are few that are like me. but not many. nd we are all unsurprisingly catholic or some other form of chrisitan
<2021-12-12T21:26:12.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Eh, I'll let the lot of y'all get a few rape jokes in but if i keep getting comments that someone is going to rape me, I just end up blocking them. 
<2021-12-12T21:26:46.000Z> Chance: completely understandable 
<2021-12-12T21:27:07.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, inherently, there is nothing wrong with sexual degeneracy as long as it's not like. Pedophilia. And no, I don't think loli art is pedophilia. Pedophilia is when you fantasize or touch real kids.
<2021-12-12T21:27:26.000Z> Chance: i choose not to partake in the loli discussion 
<2021-12-12T21:27:35.000Z> Chance: i plead the 5th
<2021-12-12T21:28:01.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That's reasonable. I know it's very divisive. If you feel it is pedophilia, that's fair and reasonable. I just don't personally feel that way. 
<2021-12-12T21:29:01.000Z> Chance: pedophilia is viewed as different for everyone. some women believe that wanting your girl to shave makes you a pedophile. liking skinny or short girls makes you a pedophile. i just dont even fuck with it. dont fuck kids. there. 
<2021-12-12T21:29:36.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah, none of that makes you a pedophile unless you're fantasizing about your girl to BE a child. 
<2021-12-12T21:29:43.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That's my stance. 
<2021-12-12T21:29:55.000Z> Chance: i like my women to look like adults
<2021-12-12T21:30:04.000Z> Chance: skinny/fit adults
<2021-12-12T21:30:04.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Granted, I've had very odd relationships with men in general by being a woman online. 🤷 
<2021-12-12T21:30:17.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That's reasonable. 
<2021-12-12T21:31:39.000Z> Chance: i appreciate you giving me the time of day to have this discussion. i am sorry for any drama or confusion i caused. i like you. you seem cool. you are based enough to give me some form of hope for women. hopefully im not broken for a good woman tho
<2021-12-12T21:32:42.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I don't think you're /broken/ per say. I think you can improve overall, but I don't think you're a bad guy or a bad person inherently. Also, just avoid discussing anything with spinster people. They're all terfs and swerfs and the literal antithesis to what you want. 
<2021-12-12T21:33:07.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Feel free to talk to me about anything btw. I'm not going to lock you out or anything. 
<2021-12-12T21:33:18.000Z> Chance: i appreciate it
<2021-12-12T21:33:58.000Z> Chance: i want to strive to be the kind of man that proves good men exist
<2021-12-12T21:34:11.000Z> Chance: not the sex crazed lunatics of today
<2021-12-12T21:34:29.000Z> Chance: its a very lonely road
<2021-12-12T21:34:50.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That's totally reasonable and possible. I genuinely hope that we as a society can improve. 
<2021-12-12T21:37:01.000Z> Chance: society will improve as more people with similar morals raise kids to have the same morals. nothing else will fix it
<2021-12-12T21:37:12.000Z> Chance: which is why i want 8 kids
<2021-12-12T21:37:17.000Z> Chance: or around there
<2021-12-12T22:26:47.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: 8 is a lot. 
<2021-12-12T22:27:02.000Z> Chance: yes and no
<2021-12-12T22:27:35.000Z> Chance: i say 8 because thats where i would want to stop but ill have and be happy with as many as God will give me
<2021-12-13T00:33:23.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: So you're willing for more or less? What if she's infertile? 
<2021-12-13T00:34:34.000Z> Chance: yes i will take what God gives me. if she is infertile then that is sad and we will have to deal with that together. just have to trust in Gods plan 
<2021-12-13T00:39:39.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That's fair. I was just genuinely curious about that. 
<2021-12-13T00:40:47.000Z> Chance: infertility is a tragedy but if it isnt her fault i wont hold it against her. and there is always adoption 
<2021-12-13T00:42:31.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I'm not sure if infertility is normally a woman's fault unless via anorexia. 
<2021-12-13T00:42:52.000Z> Chance: birth control can cause it
<2021-12-13T00:43:13.000Z> Chance: if she is infertile because of that then theres probably other reasons i would not really be all that interested
<2021-12-13T00:43:35.000Z> Chance: you dont go on birth control to stay celibate 
<2021-12-13T00:44:06.000Z> Chance: unless it was for period reasons which i have heard of before. i guess women will use birth control for that only?
<2021-12-13T02:06:42.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: A lot of women have to be on birth control because of irregular cycles or painful periods. Many women will use it only for that. Birth control doesn't prevent STD's. 
<2021-12-13T03:04:48.000Z> Chance: Yeah you though I heard about that. You'll have to excuse my ignorance on this subject. 
<2021-12-13T03:04:59.000Z> Chance: I thought*
<2021-12-13T03:19:04.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah, i don't blame you. You're not a woman and it's irrelevant to you as you don't really want your wife or future wife on birth control. 
<2021-12-13T03:19:27.000Z> Chance: that is true. the purpose is to have the babies after all
<2021-12-13T03:21:20.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Honestly, something I find hilarious is that a decent amount of women (from r/child free) get mad because their doctor tells them that to fix their period issues, a solution is to have a baby. Doesn't necessarily fix it but can help. 
<2021-12-13T03:21:56.000Z> Chance: perhaps the female body wants them to do what it was made to do lol
<2021-12-13T03:21:56.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, i understand not necessarily wanting a kid, not because I never want a kid necessarily, but because I don't want to put a child through the childhood I went through? 
<2021-12-13T03:22:22.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I mean, the only flaw is the condition they're told to do that for makes it hard to get pregnant lol
<2021-12-13T03:22:37.000Z> Chance: thats not really a great reason to not have kids. you are supposed to not make the same mistakes. you learn from your life so you can avoid the falls for your kids
<2021-12-13T03:23:18.000Z> Chance: its a delicate dance of life to make the best possible people
<2021-12-13T03:25:28.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: My parents literally abused most of my life and still emotionally abuse me. I get what you're saying. But me right now? A very angry person. I'm not saying I never want kids, but I definitely want to work on myself so I can understand not wanting them at one point. Not forever. 
<2021-12-13T03:26:22.000Z> Chance: my best advice is also my harshest. just leave. cut them off. you cant become better if you are still tied to the people that broke you
<2021-12-13T03:27:15.000Z> Chance: people generally repeat cycles. and you cant break it if you are still involved
<2021-12-13T03:27:18.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I totally would if I could live on my own. Can't really afford it, unfortunately. That's why i still live with one of my parents, who does nothing to help me succeed to leave. 
<2021-12-13T03:27:29.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I don't want to be tied to my parents by any means. 
<2021-12-13T03:28:00.000Z> Chance: if you dont mind me asking. where are you generally located?
<2021-12-13T03:29:22.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I think I mentioned it before, but I live outside of DC. The problem is the particular location is. Very expensive and I don't know how to drive or do anything tbh
<2021-12-13T03:30:01.000Z> Chance: thats really tough. those city areas make getting out on your own very difficult
<2021-12-13T03:31:03.000Z> Chance: i had no real issues leaving my parents but i live in the midwest and stuff is pretty cheap generally and my job field is usually hiring
<2021-12-13T03:31:47.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: What's your job field, if you don't mind me asking? 
<2021-12-13T03:32:00.000Z> Chance: precision machining
<2021-12-13T03:32:18.000Z> Chance: i currently make fracking equipment 
<2021-12-13T03:32:30.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: So like. Oil equipment? 
<2021-12-13T03:32:43.000Z> Chance: motor bearings specifically
<2021-12-13T03:32:48.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Isn't that what fracking is? 
<2021-12-13T03:32:52.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Oil stuff? 
<2021-12-13T03:32:59.000Z> Chance: fracking is natural gas i think
<2021-12-13T03:33:23.000Z> Chance: its super laid back. i literally work night shift with 3 other people 
<2021-12-13T03:33:49.000Z> Chance: no filters nothing. people can and will say anything
<2021-12-13T03:33:54.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That sounds like it'd be fun. 
<2021-12-13T03:34:16.000Z> Chance: its not "fun" but it is a lot better than whatever a 4 year degree will get me
<2021-12-13T03:34:44.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Oh, I didn't go to college. I just started immediately out of high school doing whatever would make me money. 
<2021-12-13T03:34:44.000Z> Chance: i got an associates degree. 18 months of school and im in the world making money
<2021-12-13T03:35:18.000Z> Chance: in my personal opinion women shouldnt go to college
<2021-12-13T03:35:28.000Z> Chance: it just brainwashes them
<2021-12-13T03:35:31.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: But that's because you want them to be housewives. 
<2021-12-13T03:35:36.000Z> Chance: and gives them nothing of real substance
<2021-12-13T03:35:52.000Z> Chance: well keep in mind. i dont think men should go either
<2021-12-13T03:36:05.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Fair enough, I guess. 
<2021-12-13T03:36:10.000Z> Chance: i dont support 4 year degrees for a useless job that makes the same as what i make
<2021-12-13T03:36:18.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Honestly, as much as I love my jobs, I just wish i made more money. 
<2021-12-13T03:36:31.000Z> Chance: what is your current pay?
<2021-12-13T03:37:43.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: So keep in mind, I work through a staffing agency and make two different rates for two different jobs. 
<2021-12-13T03:37:52.000Z> Chance: okay
<2021-12-13T03:38:50.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: As a legal assistant working about 20 hours a week, I make $15 an hour, and then doing invoicing for a engineering company, i make $16 an hour. It's not low money, but when rent for a studio apartment is around $12-1300 a month, it doesn't go very far. 🤷 
<2021-12-13T03:39:32.000Z> Chance: damn. that is livable more or less around here but around DC that is next to nothing
<2021-12-13T03:41:16.000Z> Chance: is it possible to put away as much money as possible and just leave the entire area? 
<2021-12-13T03:44:04.000Z> Chance: for reference. i was renting a 2 bedroom one bathroom apartment for 650/month one town over
<2021-12-13T03:44:58.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Well, I'd need a car first. I could move to the next county over an get an apartment for $850-ish.
<2021-12-13T03:45:13.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Don't have a car. Or my license. Or anything that would be useful for that. 
<2021-12-13T03:45:32.000Z> Chance: your parents just never did any of that??
<2021-12-13T03:48:40.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Ohh, you really don't get it. 
<2021-12-13T03:49:02.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Give me like 3 minutes. I'll explain. I'm just finishing something 
<2021-12-13T03:49:05.000Z> Chance: i was blessed with pretty good parents. but its clear that most people dont get that
<2021-12-13T03:49:41.000Z> Chance: okay. ive got all night to listen
<2021-12-13T03:54:08.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: So I'm the youngest of 5. My mother's second marriage. It is relevant, promise. 
<2021-12-13T03:54:53.000Z> Chance: okay
<2021-12-13T03:55:00.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: My other siblings are from her first marriage. My parents didn't have a car most of my childhood. I know I've mentioned a lot about my sister being dead. My sister died being in the military when I was like 10, she was 25. This was 2008. 
<2021-12-13T03:55:35.000Z> Chance: i dont think you mentioned that to me before. im sorry to hear that
<2021-12-13T03:56:22.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Okay, fine. The problem is my sister was my parents' (and more specifically, my mother's) favorite. We still have said car etc. Never bought a different one or anything. And so. Never learned because that would be the car I'd have to practice on. When I was 16 I was trying to back out of a parking space for my mom and she immediately spent the entire time SCREAMING at the top of her lungs about it. 
<2021-12-13T03:57:30.000Z> Chance: damn.......
<2021-12-13T03:57:31.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: No, i just know I've mentioned my sister died. I never went into specifics or anything publically, nor would I because it is semi-identifiable. Long story. Not really going into it as it's irrelevant. 
<2021-12-13T03:58:17.000Z> Chance: i get that. carry on
<2021-12-13T03:59:04.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: But yeah. My childhood wasn't great by any stretch, but it got significantly worse after she died because comparatively, I'm a good child. My one brother is great. Just keeps to himself. My other brother has had a lot of women and a lot of kids and does nothing beyond that afaik. 
<2021-12-13T04:00:34.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: But all of that to say, my parents did not help me by any stretch. And I know i talk a lot about my mom specifically. My dad was around until I was a teenager. He just has issues with alcohol and is very lazy? 
<2021-12-13T04:00:37.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: *. 
<2021-12-13T04:02:15.000Z> Chance: thats just.... i cant even comprehend having a childhood like that. its so far out of what i experienced. i cant even image that...
<2021-12-13T04:02:35.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: It's not normal. I know that much. 
<2021-12-13T04:02:50.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: And I definitely wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy tbh
<2021-12-13T04:02:54.000Z> Chance: its becoming much more normal
<2021-12-13T04:03:24.000Z> Chance: i have talked to many people on here and when i mention my family its clear nobody else really had what i had
<2021-12-13T04:03:56.000Z> Chance: having 2 parents that are still together is becoming very rare
<2021-12-13T04:04:08.000Z> Chance: at least from what i gathered from online
<2021-12-13T04:05:26.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Eh, it's hit or miss. Not exposing my friends, but at least two of them them have parents that are still married, though I'm pretty sure one of those is only for their youngest child. 
<2021-12-13T04:05:53.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: The others, one has a dead dad and the other has a gay dad. 
<2021-12-13T04:06:04.000Z> Chance: a gay dad...... 
<2021-12-13T04:06:05.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Outside of that, I'm unaware of their relationships 
<2021-12-13T04:06:08.000Z> Chance: oh noo
<2021-12-13T04:06:45.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yes. A gay dad. Normally in that situation, I believe it's because they're trying to do the right thing and they want children and there's only one way to get your own children. 🤷 
<2021-12-13T04:07:06.000Z> Chance: that just sounds like it would never be functional
<2021-12-13T04:07:35.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Honestly, if my parents split a lot sooner, I think my childhood could have been better (or a lot worse) 
<2021-12-13T04:07:50.000Z> Chance: but generally you said that things got worse after your sister?
<2021-12-13T04:08:07.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Do you mean like. The dad's dick or the relationship? 
<2021-12-13T04:08:21.000Z> Chance: the relationship
<2021-12-13T04:08:32.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yes, it got worse after my sister died. At least that's where it felt like it got worse. 
<2021-12-13T04:08:54.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, their dad now is with their new partner and the mom got remarried. They're no longer married. 
<2021-12-13T04:09:43.000Z> Chance: it sounds like your mom or both parents couldnt handle that loss and took it out on you kids. which is incredibly horrible.
<2021-12-13T04:10:49.000Z> Chance: i do fully understand that feeling of loss but when it happened to my family we were able to keep it together for the most part. 
<2021-12-13T04:11:36.000Z> Chance: but we also had a fairly strong family unit before it happened which it doesnt sound like your family had so that loss just snapped it so to speak
<2021-12-13T04:11:55.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I'm sorry to hear that. 
<2021-12-13T04:12:42.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, considering I'm much younger than my sister who was the youngest of those kids, it's different because they didn't have to live with her. 
<2021-12-13T04:12:54.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Her meaning my mother, who took it especially hard. 
<2021-12-13T04:12:57.000Z> Chance: i just closed one of longest lasting and deep rooted wounds from it a few days ago thanks to TheVeryLutheranHouseWife
<2021-12-13T04:13:40.000Z> Chance: so you were the only one in the house when all that went down?
<2021-12-13T04:14:19.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Well, I'm glad you're healing. 
<2021-12-13T04:14:42.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, i was the only one living with them, yes. 
<2021-12-13T04:15:00.000Z> Chance: that makes it worse because you were the closest punching bag for your mother
<2021-12-13T04:15:33.000Z> Chance: im really sorry you had to go through that and that you still have to hang around them because of the fucked up financial system and their failure to prepare you for life
<2021-12-13T04:16:07.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Well, yeah. Unfortunately, it extra sucks because my mother is the one I have to live with. 
<2021-12-13T04:16:36.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: My dad is busy trying to help himself, which is good in a way. 
<2021-12-13T04:16:55.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: But I'm definitely trying to leave and do better ultimately. 
<2021-12-13T04:17:45.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: It's just. Extremely difficult. 
<2021-12-13T04:18:26.000Z> Chance: if all else fails there is the nuclear option of just selling everything and buying a ride out of there. with vaccine passports its even harder because you cant even fly
<2021-12-13T04:19:28.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That implies that I own things. I own very little. Partially because I just don't want to and partially because of space. 
<2021-12-13T04:21:21.000Z> Chance: fuck. id be willing to help but idk what i could realistically do
<2021-12-13T04:22:49.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I'm not asking you for help. I appreciate the thought, but you have your own life. 
<2021-12-13T04:23:30.000Z> Chance: i know you arent asking. this is just how i am. 
<2021-12-13T04:24:07.000Z> Chance: my desire to help and be useful is very strong 
<2021-12-13T04:24:35.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That's fair. I just don't want you to feel like you have to help me. 
<2021-12-13T04:25:26.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I know. I went through and am still going through a lot (though not as bad as the past), but it's not anyone's problem but my own. 
<2021-12-13T04:26:16.000Z> Chance: you still need people to lean on tho. keeping the burdens all to yourself isnt healthy
<2021-12-13T04:27:33.000Z> Chance: thats partially what hurt me. i didnt feel like i could tell anyone what i truly thought happened with my brother when he died so it just ate away. finally i talked with the Lutheran and she told me what i needed to be told and it helped 
<2021-12-13T04:30:52.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I'm sorry about your brother. I hope you're able to heal after what you were told and I hope it gets better. 
<2021-12-13T04:31:14.000Z> Chance: ive been feeling better about it yes. thank you
<2021-12-13T04:31:25.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: And no, keeping it to myself isn't healthy. However, I don't really know what else TO DO. 
<2021-12-13T04:31:49.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: The only thing I can think to do is keep going. 
<2021-12-13T04:31:57.000Z> Chance: thats a decent start 
<2021-12-13T04:32:56.000Z> Chance: i know im just an internet autist essentially but ill be here for you and do what i can to help
<2021-12-13T04:34:12.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: That's enough for me tbh
<2021-12-13T04:34:50.000Z> Chance: ?
<2021-12-13T04:47:27.000Z> Chance: i dont quite get what you mean
<2021-12-13T10:03:44.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Having people in general being willing to listen to me and be there for me. Sorry, it was kind of confusing. 
<2021-12-13T15:23:18.000Z> Chance: Oh okay. All good 
<2021-12-13T15:37:38.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah, no worries. I just suck at wording things, especially when I get REALLY tired. 
<2021-12-13T15:39:54.000Z> Chance: Lol
<2021-12-13T15:41:30.000Z> Chance: How did you sleep? 
<2021-12-13T15:48:23.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Okay, I guess. There's definitely ways it could have been better, but it is what it is. 
<2021-12-13T15:48:59.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: How about you? 
<2021-12-13T16:00:45.000Z> Chance: Sleep rarely feels like it was good enough it long enough 
<2021-12-13T16:01:11.000Z> Chance: I slept pretty okay. But I didn't sleep long enough. I'm up way too early 
<2021-12-13T16:13:39.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I get that. My sleep schedule is garbage, primarily because I rarely sleep the entire time. 
<2021-12-13T17:05:05.000Z> Chance: Trouble staying asleep? 
<2021-12-13T17:09:32.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Mostly. I just have really bad nightmares most of the time. 
<2021-12-13T17:14:46.000Z> Chance: That's terrible. I'm really sorry to hear that 
<2021-12-13T17:15:47.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I mean, I've had them since I was a teenager more consistently. I had them a bit as a child but not as often. It is what it is. It's always different things and not necessarily related things that have happened to me. 
<2021-12-13T17:16:10.000Z> Chance: I have a feeling those will clear up when you get into a place you feel at home in. 
<2021-12-13T17:16:31.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I certainly hope so. Worst comes to worse, I'll just have to suck it up. 
<2021-12-13T17:16:41.000Z> Chance: Or a place you feel safe at 
<2021-12-13T17:17:52.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah. I definitely want to have a place where I'm happy. It'll just be a while before that happens. 
<2021-12-13T17:17:55.000Z> Chance: It sounds like it's related to the stuff that happened to you. So living with your mom is putting way too much stress on you 
<2021-12-13T17:18:45.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Eh, not really? Most of them are just weird and cryptic. And the one that COULD be related to something started much sooner than when it did happen. 
<2021-12-13T17:19:09.000Z> Chance: The dreams don't have to reflect the cause to be symptoms 
<2021-12-13T17:21:11.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Maybe so. But there's only one that's even mildly close to anything that's happened to me, and I think that's moreso the fear of it happening in general being there (and then it did) 
<2021-12-13T17:23:34.000Z> Chance: You need to both get out of there and find someone who is a good person to be there for you. Both if which are much harder than they should be through no fault of your own 
<2021-12-13T17:26:00.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I know. Unfortunately, I have very low standards for how I should be treated (which I am trying to work on) 
<2021-12-13T17:28:59.000Z> Chance: A good guy would treat you right no matter what your standards are. But I suppose your standards make it harder to find a good guy. 
<2021-12-13T17:34:08.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Bullseye. 
<2021-12-13T17:37:50.000Z> Chance: Once again. I wish there was something I could do besides just be here. 
<2021-12-13T17:54:03.000Z> Chance: I wish I could relocate you to the Midwest so that I could actually be if real assistance 
<2021-12-13T18:02:35.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: As fun as that could be, I'm also unable to provide anything if that does happen. 
<2021-12-13T18:06:10.000Z> Chance: I wouldnt be asking you to provide anything 
<2021-12-13T18:10:56.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: So what benefit does potentially moving a young woman out to where you live have for you? 
<2021-12-13T18:13:33.000Z> Chance: Well none really. But keep in mind I have wanted to do the same for men in tough situations as well. I just don't like it when good people suffer and I wish I could help 
<2021-12-13T18:14:15.000Z> Chance: Maybe I'm just broken idk. 
<2021-12-13T18:14:54.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: No, you're not broken. It just feels suspicious. If anything, it's because I'm broken for obvious reasons. 
<2021-12-13T18:15:12.000Z> Chance: I know I realized that 
<2021-12-13T18:15:45.000Z> Chance: It sounds bad in a way 
<2021-12-13T18:16:31.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: It doesn't sound bad when you take a step back and realize it's to help others in general. 
<2021-12-13T18:17:15.000Z> Chance: I usually just keep these thoughts to myself but I guess this time was different 
<2021-12-13T18:18:34.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: It's totally fine! 
<2021-12-13T18:19:55.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I understand the concern. I'm the problem here because I get wary of men in general, trying to help me or not. 
<2021-12-13T18:21:23.000Z> Chance: I have these same general thoughts about anyone who needs help. Iv considered offering to help people who are in trouble because if vac stuff. Never did tho. But. But. But. I think I let it slip this time because I am at least somewhat interested in you. 
<2021-12-13T18:23:27.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Interested how? Like, find me intriguing? 
<2021-12-13T18:24:38.000Z> Chance: If I knew you irl I would probably ask you out is what I'm saying
<2021-12-13T18:25:21.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Okay, that's what I thought you were saying, but wasn't sure and didn't want to assume. 
<2021-12-13T18:25:43.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I'm pretty sure you'd end up hating me if you actually knew me irl though lol
<2021-12-13T18:26:15.000Z> Chance: Every woman says that 
<2021-12-13T18:26:57.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: If you think I'm reactive online, I'm much worse in person. Also, I meet a total of two of your standards at best. 
<2021-12-13T18:28:44.000Z> Chance: Idk. It's not a theory we will be able to test. You aren't Catholic but as long as you are fairly thin I'd at least try it 
<2021-12-13T18:31:58.000Z> Chance: Anyway. Sorry. Should have just kept that one to myself but. Once I slipped on the other thing I wasn't going to lie about it. 
<2021-12-13T18:32:18.000Z> Chance: So. Yeah. Sorry
<2021-12-13T18:33:34.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I'm not thin at all. It IS something I'm trying to work on though. 🤷 
<2021-12-13T18:33:58.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also I'm not mad at you or anything. Please understand that. 
<2021-12-13T18:37:37.000Z> Chance: Good luck with that. Losing weight is a massive bitch. Kind of. It's hard to do if it's tied to other things and those other things are still around 
<2021-12-13T18:37:44.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, i think you should give me even less credit than you have. I'm no longer Christian and haven't been a part of any church in a very long time. The last one that I was active in was a Baptist church. Just an FYI 
<2021-12-13T18:38:33.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, I'm certainly hoping it works. I am dropping some weight, so it's good. I'm getting tons of help from Gear and I genuinely appreciate any help I get. 
<2021-12-13T18:40:01.000Z> Chance: It's good you are trying. I've met too many people who find excuses to stay fat. My trauma dragged me into porn so I was able to lose weight during that since it wasn't my coping mechanism. But porn is probably worse in its own way 
<2021-12-13T18:40:45.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Eh, I understand the porn thing though. Probably a little more than most, unfortunately. But uh, that's DEFINITELY related to SOMETHING going wrong somewhere. 
<2021-12-13T18:40:51.000Z> Chance: I'm not thin either. But I'm not my way. Working out and stuff and here this week I'll be able to actually start making a good diet
<2021-12-13T18:41:47.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Well, that's good to hear. I'm glad you're choosing to work on yourself 
<2021-12-13T18:42:31.000Z> Chance: I'm on my way*
<2021-12-13T18:43:06.000Z> Chance: I think I'm somewhere around 200-220 rn
<2021-12-13T18:44:17.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I'm much heavier than that right now, actually. 
<2021-12-13T18:45:01.000Z> Chance: I'm sorry to hear that. I was almost 300 about a year and a half ago myself 
<2021-12-13T18:45:17.000Z> Chance: It's not fun. And it's hard. It's really hard to lose weight. 
<2021-12-13T18:45:44.000Z> Chance: But it will be worth it. And it is like 80-90% diet 
<2021-12-13T18:46:32.000Z> Chance: If you take the time to actually count calories it can almost shock you into eating less 
<2021-12-13T18:47:17.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: It is super difficult, but I think with all the help I'm getting, I'm going to do great. Especially because I have too many people rooting for me to do better than I was before. 
<2021-12-13T18:50:29.000Z> Chance: Nothing feels quite as good as self improvement. The feeling of downsizing your pants is amazing
<2021-12-13T18:51:05.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah, i just want to get to a flat tummy. I never had that before. 
<2021-12-13T18:52:18.000Z> Chance: Flat tummies are amazing 
<2021-12-13T18:52:51.000Z> Chance: Top 5 most attractive things on a woman 
<2021-12-13T18:53:08.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Probably better when you've never had one. 🤷 I've ALWAYS been overweight. 
<2021-12-13T18:53:19.000Z> Chance: Same here honestly 
<2021-12-13T18:54:13.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah I would not be surprised if that was another reason my parents liked my sister the most lol
<2021-12-13T18:55:37.000Z> Chance: I think your parents were/are just kind of fucked 
<2021-12-13T18:56:47.000Z> Chance: But anyway. I believe in you. Just got to really commit. Idk what advice has been given. But what I used the most was to just not snack on things. I kept snacks out of my house. If I wanted to eat I had to make something 
<2021-12-13T18:56:59.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I mean, yes. But like. My sister was like 6 feet tall and incredibly small. I'm 5'3 and very big lol
<2021-12-13T18:57:52.000Z> Chance: But think about it. If you become smoll. Being 5'3 and smoll is going to be super attractive 
<2021-12-13T18:58:18.000Z> Chance: You got to keep the goal in mind and not focus on the other stuff 
<2021-12-13T18:59:57.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, i don't keep a lot of snacks in general tbh. Primarily because I'm very picky and also because a food I can eat one day immediately becomes horrible. I cant explain it better. 
<2021-12-13T19:00:28.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, yes, being short and small will be great. But now, not as much. 
<2021-12-13T19:04:52.000Z> Chance: Keep that goal in mind. You can make a lot of progress in a year. And then you'll be a cutie and everyone will want you lol
<2021-12-13T19:05:46.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: But everyone wants me now because I'm funny and charming and everyone wants to kiss me. ☺️
<2021-12-13T19:07:46.000Z> Chance: That is true 
<2021-12-13T19:09:26.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I do get what you mean though. I'll be even cuter. And then I'll melt the hearts of everyone around me even more. ☺️
<2021-12-13T19:38:33.000Z> Chance: Don't forget me when you lose the weight and become famous 
<2021-12-13T19:39:22.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Famous? Nah I'm way too shy for anything like that. 
<2021-12-13T19:39:33.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Definitely wanted it at one point tho. 
<2021-12-13T19:40:27.000Z> Chance: Lol. Not famous famous but the local super cutie 
<2021-12-13T19:41:56.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: There's over a million people in my area alone. I don't think I'll become even that popular. At best someone people describe to their friends as someone who's ethereal and beautiful. 
<2021-12-13T19:42:14.000Z> Chance: Lol
<2021-12-13T19:42:18.000Z> Chance: Go for it 
<2021-12-13T19:43:18.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I mean, it's definitely a goal. On the other hand, because of the amount of people, I could completely blend in, which would be nice too tbh? 
<2021-12-13T19:43:37.000Z> Chance: That works too
<2021-12-13T19:44:44.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Honestly it would kind of be better. 
<2021-12-13T19:46:17.000Z> Chance: Good luck on your journey. I wish you all the best :comfyheart:
<2021-12-13T19:47:46.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I wish you the best too!!! 💖 
<2021-12-13T19:48:07.000Z> Chance: Thanks 
<2021-12-14T02:43:42.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Hey, i hope you had a good day today. ☺️
<2021-12-14T02:44:48.000Z> Chance: It's been okay. They bumped us up to 12 hour shifts this week. Good thing I'm took 2 days off for house stuff. 
<2021-12-14T02:45:00.000Z> Chance: I hope you had day as well 
<2021-12-14T02:45:16.000Z> Chance: Had a good day as well* 
<2021-12-14T02:51:29.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Oof, 12 hour shifts sound rough. My day was okay, definitely had bad parts but those are over now and hopefully will never happen again. 
<2021-12-14T03:10:18.000Z> Chance: It is rough. You've been through a lot. More than most. Just stay stronk
<2021-12-14T03:48:23.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: No, i meant just today. 
<2021-12-14T03:48:39.000Z> Chance: Yes I know 
<2021-12-14T03:49:04.000Z> Chance: Perhaps I worded that wrong but idk how to word it rn 
<2021-12-14T03:49:09.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: So when I went to the gym, they made me do some kind of training class which I kept telling them I didn't want to do. And then once that was done and I went to do what I was there for, some guy had a stroke.
<2021-12-14T03:49:28.000Z> Chance: Oh geez
<2021-12-14T03:49:28.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, i know what you mean, but I meant only from things that happens today. 
<2021-12-14T03:49:43.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: ALSO, HE'S FINE NOW. 
<2021-12-14T03:50:08.000Z> Chance: The stroke guy is fine? 
<2021-12-14T03:50:11.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: I think he went to the hospital or whatever, but he didn't die. He was able to get up and stand up on his own by the end. 
<2021-12-14T03:50:14.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Also, yeah. 
<2021-12-14T03:50:39.000Z> Chance: Geez. I'm always at the gym alone so
<2021-12-14T03:58:34.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: It was pretty busy by the time I was done with the sales pitch. 
<2021-12-14T03:59:45.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: He was with a trainer and he was much older. Probably at least my mom's age by my guess. 
<2021-12-14T04:00:23.000Z> Chance: Poor guy
<2021-12-14T04:02:04.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah. I'm very glad he's okay. Apparently someone thought it was okay to try and work out near him like a fucking weirdo. Couldn't even pretend to have compassion. 
<2021-12-14T04:05:05.000Z> Chance: Fuckin hell
<2021-12-14T04:05:11.000Z> Chance: People today suck
<2021-12-14T04:12:20.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Yeah, a bunch of us were literally like "wtf are you doing?" 
<2021-12-14T05:04:03.000Z> Chance: Niggas these days don't have any concern for the people around them. 
<2021-12-14T05:17:35.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: Which is disgusting. We should be caring and compassionate for our community m
<2021-12-14T07:09:26.000Z> Chance: I don't quite know what caused this to be the norm but it pisses me off 
<2021-12-14T11:32:35.000Z> rikkatakarada@gearlandia.haus: People just stopped caring about anyone but themselves. 