<2021-12-10T02:59:13.000Z> TinyFern: I'm not gonna say you're at rock bottom 
<2021-12-10T02:59:22.000Z> TinyFern: Because it can always get worse 
<2021-12-10T02:59:37.000Z> TinyFern: What do you actually care about in your life? 
<2021-12-10T03:00:10.000Z> TinyFern: What stops you from moving to Italy and buying one of those $1 farms and marrying some Trad Italian Catholic girl? 
<2021-12-10T04:10:32.000Z> TinyFern: Ok so let's say you're staying in America. If I told you to sell everything you own and move to Vermont, what would your objections be? 
<2021-12-10T04:11:05.000Z> TinyFern: Would you be sad to be away from family, from friends, from your current job - what specifically is keeping you in your current life? 
<2021-12-10T05:08:01.000Z> TinyFern: Soon you'll be overwhelmed with lots of tasks then, since there will be heaps of changes and maintenance to do 
<2021-12-10T05:08:31.000Z> TinyFern: This is a good chance to create new habits since you're going to be in a new place 
<2021-12-10T05:09:27.000Z> TinyFern: Maybe start a new daily workout routineMaybe start hosting a weekly family dinner and games nightMaybe get a garden or some chickens or both 
<2021-12-10T05:10:11.000Z> TinyFern: A man doesn't feel valuable unless he's providing something of value - and it's easier to see the value of something when you've put it together with your own hands 
<2021-12-10T05:10:22.000Z> TinyFern: What kinds of projects and dreams?
<2021-12-10T05:11:44.000Z> TinyFern: That sounds great 
<2021-12-10T05:11:57.000Z> TinyFern: What has stopped you from doing that already? 
<2021-12-10T05:13:58.000Z> TinyFern: A good way to make your time productive and positive is to make a list of things you want to prioritise and things you want to avoid, and if you find yourself doing negative things (drinking excessively, sitting angrily in a dark room, too much time on your phone, etc) then you can do one of the positive things instead (go for a walk, tidy the house, make an audio story, etc) 
<2021-12-10T05:14:12.000Z> TinyFern: I'm glad you're pushing or better things 
<2021-12-10T05:15:20.000Z> TinyFern: I'd be concerned that the podcast setup you're suggesting could easily be an overwhelmingly big task right off the bat. Could you break it down into smaller projects to start with, say by recording some old public domain stories first and then branching into making your own content
<2021-12-10T05:16:54.000Z> TinyFern: If you're moving into an old house it's worth making a to do list of all the tiny things you notice and just gradually working through them so you feel like the place is gradually improving ane you're not stuck in a dump. I really mean tiny things like squeaky hinges, polishing fixtures, cobwebs in corners sort of things 
<2021-12-10T05:17:51.000Z> TinyFern: That's fair. Some people are all or nothing 
<2021-12-10T05:18:03.000Z> TinyFern: Sounds like you're just waiting for your life to begin 
<2021-12-10T05:29:52.000Z> TinyFern: 👍
<2021-12-10T05:30:06.000Z> TinyFern: So why all the melancholy and rage?
<2021-12-10T05:37:15.000Z> TinyFern: Putting the cart before the horse a bit there mate 
<2021-12-10T05:37:42.000Z> TinyFern: You've got to get your life together first and get into a good groove before you're in a good position to romance a woman 
<2021-12-10T05:38:10.000Z> TinyFern: God will put good women in your path when you're ready for them and not before 
<2021-12-10T05:38:59.000Z> TinyFern: Remember, she can be 0.00001% of the populationYou only need to find one
<2021-12-10T05:40:07.000Z> TinyFern: Your task right now is to get yourself into a good place so that you're emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually prepared to be a great husband 
<2021-12-10T05:40:59.000Z> TinyFern: Ironically, if you're busy being angry and cynical about the fact that women suck, you'll scare away anyone who does meet your requirements 
<2021-12-10T06:26:06.000Z> TinyFern: Was this the prenup stuff or something else?
<2021-12-10T06:53:01.000Z> TinyFern: I think it's all this Game of Thrones thing where it feels like realism and practicality necessarily means adopting detestable practices or ideas yourself  
<2021-12-10T06:53:19.000Z> TinyFern: It's not true, it's a psyop 
<2021-12-10T06:53:41.000Z> TinyFern: They want you to think that everybody has to be damaged and awful and gritty to be realistic 
<2021-12-10T06:54:41.000Z> TinyFern: In reality, choosing to live righteously does mean opening yourself up to hurt, but were called to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. You can be intelligent and trusting at the same time, sensible and generous at the same time. 
<2021-12-10T06:55:39.000Z> TinyFern: You can't let your (righteous, good) anger at sin and injustice poison the good things which you do want to create, like a loving, trusting and faithful marriage
<2021-12-10T06:56:32.000Z> TinyFern: I can't become a controlling helicopter parent because I'm terrified of my kid becoming a tranny - that will just poison my relationship with them and damage them in other ways
<2021-12-10T06:57:15.000Z> TinyFern: Jesus calls it the narrow path for a reason, it's a hard line to walk. 
<2021-12-10T07:03:55.000Z> TinyFern: We are in a dark world but we are told to become lights in the darkness, not become dim with hate ourselves. We need to display the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. You can peacefully and kindly decline to pursue worldly practices without letting the sins of others enrage you. You can generously help others by informing them about better ways to live and better choices to make. You can be kind to your future spouse and to your family by assuming the best of them when they say stupid stuff.
<2021-12-10T08:00:49.000Z> TinyFern: 👍 takes a lot of maturity to grow when you're hurt
<2021-12-10T08:50:09.000Z> TinyFern attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/50eeafb3fca5ab550b819082be07c7711210f436b1a9c9ff27320d9ca27cf2fb.jpeg
<2021-12-10T08:51:02.000Z> TinyFern: But more importantly, pride is the worst sin and ultimately the root of most other sins. Humility is great proof against wrongdoing 
<2021-12-10T08:52:13.000Z> TinyFern: I don't know you in real life but I don't know anybody who has ever suffered from too little pride
<2021-12-10T08:52:47.000Z> TinyFern: Perhaps too much anxiety or too little assertiveness but never in need of more pride 
<2021-12-10T08:55:32.000Z> TinyFern: Why? What happens if you look at what you made and say "I did a good thing"?
<2021-12-10T08:55:44.000Z> TinyFern: Or even "this is a good thing"
<2021-12-10T09:02:47.000Z> TinyFern: I think there's a hidden kind of pride here. Like of course you're unimpressive and average, most people are average and unimpressive. You only feel this way because you have got some underlying assumptions about what you 'should' be doing and you don't think you measure up. The fact is, you don't have to measure up to anything. You're a servant of the Lord and your worth is measured in obedience and hard work, not comparisons with others. You're taking measures of value from the world around you (house, car) rather than from the true source of authority. I used to do the same thing, I valued myself by how clever or quick I was and tried to demonstrate it all the time but never matched my own expectations so I hated myself. It gave me great peace when I realised that I don't have to meet my own inflated expectations of myself in order to be a worthwhile person. 
<2021-12-10T09:04:58.000Z> TinyFern: (I know you're probably above average, I'm just phrasing it the way I phrased it to myself. I'm measurably a smart person but I had to learn that my value doesn't come from that and I don't need to constantly show that off. Similarly, your worth doesn't come from what you can list in a Tinder profile or a job interview.)
<2021-12-10T09:07:49.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah it's an image issue 
<2021-12-10T09:08:32.000Z> TinyFern: No I mean it's your desire for status with strangers that's driving this poor self worth 
<2021-12-10T09:09:11.000Z> TinyFern: Do you assess strangers by this same criteria? Are you just afraid that others will judge you by your own standard and that you will be found wanting or dismissed the way you dismiss others?
<2021-12-10T09:11:59.000Z> TinyFern: So when you're angry you lash out with contempt for the failings you yourself have? 
<2021-12-10T09:13:29.000Z> TinyFern: Probably worth trying to internalise the idea that strangers just... Don't care about you. You're not important enough to people you pass in the shops or meet for five minutes at a party to give you more than a second thought  
<2021-12-10T09:14:53.000Z> TinyFern: Are you particularly upset about the sexual stuff because you would have sinned like that in the past if you had had the opportunity
<2021-12-10T09:15:12.000Z> TinyFern: What's wrong with being a nobody? 
<2021-12-10T09:17:02.000Z> TinyFern: Nice.
<2021-12-10T09:17:17.000Z> TinyFern: What's wrong with being a nobody? 
<2021-12-10T09:21:03.000Z> TinyFern: Would you object to being known as the sandwich guy, who makes bulk sandwiches and gives them to homeless people three times a week?
<2021-12-10T09:23:49.000Z> TinyFern: Because you could do something like that right now 
<2021-12-10T09:24:08.000Z> TinyFern: You could start running a basketball league for underprivileged youth 
<2021-12-10T09:24:50.000Z> TinyFern: You could volunteer as a scout leader 
<2021-12-10T09:25:24.000Z> TinyFern: You could get a big van and help poor people move and transport or do meals on wheels 
<2021-12-10T09:26:22.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah that's the sneaky pride thing. It's not enough to do good, you want to be recognised and lauded.
<2021-12-10T09:26:56.000Z> TinyFern: Yes
<2021-12-10T09:28:17.000Z> TinyFern: The apostle Paul considered his letters to be the least part of his ministry. He travelled and spread the gospel in person and when he was put in prison he mourned that his usefulness was essentially elapsed. Past his lifetime, his letters are the bulk of the most widely read text in world history. 
<2021-12-10T09:28:35.000Z> TinyFern: You never know what God will do with what you made or what you do
<2021-12-10T09:29:49.000Z> TinyFern: I talked to a guy whose mum made a casserole for the lady next door when her husband died. She started bringing her to church and her kids went too, and one of those kids ultimately converted Billy Graham who went on to spread the Word to millions of people 
<2021-12-10T09:30:43.000Z> TinyFern: She will never be known but that casserole has done more for the world than the average Hollywood star
<2021-12-10T09:32:40.000Z> TinyFern: Nah mate I've had the same issues but had a great childhood 
<2021-12-10T09:33:17.000Z> TinyFern: It's Hollywood psyops about achieving 'potential' and 'making a difference' which make you think that the Hollywood ending is what matters 
<2021-12-10T09:34:15.000Z> TinyFern: True humility is accepting that you're a cog in God's machine, a single thread in rhe tapestry of history, and you will never know the true effects of anything you do in this lifetime 
<2021-12-10T09:37:07.000Z> TinyFern: I can't tell you the amount of peace that I have since I accepted this 
<2021-12-10T09:38:08.000Z> TinyFern: If it helps to phrase it differently, you're a single soldier in God's army and you can't see the bigger battle plan but every soldier helps make it happen 
<2021-12-10T09:39:01.000Z> TinyFern: Armies win because individual soldiers follow orders and do their own bit even if they don't understand how it fits into the strategy 
<2021-12-10T09:40:17.000Z> TinyFern: Ah cool we're at the next stage 
<2021-12-10T09:40:25.000Z> TinyFern: This one took me a lot longer 
<2021-12-10T09:41:08.000Z> TinyFern: That's fair 
<2021-12-10T09:42:02.000Z> TinyFern: If it helps, most people who made history weren't thinking "I'm doing this big impressive thing right now", they were thinking about getting the job done 
<2021-12-10T09:42:21.000Z> TinyFern: God put you where you are so that you can make a difference 
<2021-12-10T09:42:48.000Z> TinyFern: That difference might be inviting a lonely coworker to dinner or visiting somebody in hospital 
<2021-12-10T09:44:01.000Z> TinyFern: For a lot of people, Christians are stupid hypocrites. Being a faithful, joyful Christian as an example makes a lot more impact than you think. Consider how much knowing even a single non-thot woman would improve your thinking - you could be the equivalent person who convinces people that men or Christians are all bad 
<2021-12-10T09:44:19.000Z> TinyFern: I'm sure there's others who need help. 
<2021-12-10T09:44:59.000Z> TinyFern: The internet is full of stories of people reflecting on how they nearly committed suicide and ended up not doing so because somebody hung out with them or picked up the phone or just smiled at them and said something nice 
<2021-12-10T09:45:16.000Z> TinyFern: You really don't know what kind of impact you make
<2021-12-10T09:46:02.000Z> TinyFern: With that in mind, how can you make every interaction a reflection of the fruits of the spirit? 
<2021-12-10T09:47:05.000Z> TinyFern: This is where the humility is required. You're not in control of your own impact or effects 
<2021-12-10T09:47:14.000Z> TinyFern: You don't even know good men 
<2021-12-10T09:47:30.000Z> TinyFern: So the people you know don't know a good man either 
<2021-12-10T09:47:57.000Z> TinyFern: Guess what: you're being called to be the good man that these people need to see, to know that it's even possible 
<2021-12-10T09:48:12.000Z> TinyFern: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control
<2021-12-10T09:49:00.000Z> TinyFern: Note that gentleness doesn't mean being a little bitch, it means knowing your own strength and choosing not to exercise it. Like that big red robot in that movie that makes everybody cry.
<2021-12-10T09:50:11.000Z> TinyFern: If you're the guy who compliments everybody and always helps out and is kind and friendly and openly wears a cross, how much will that impact the people around you in their thinking? 
<2021-12-10T09:50:34.000Z> TinyFern: Plus if they know a good woman they'll think of you and try to connect you
<2021-12-10T09:51:39.000Z> TinyFern: People think that we live in looser times now and 'everybody does it' in regards to sexual sin etc. Just by existing and being a counterexample, it makes people realise that they can turn away from that sin
<2021-12-10T09:52:47.000Z> TinyFern: Who left you to die alone? 
<2021-12-10T09:53:26.000Z> TinyFern: Also you just said that he's a piece of shit and that you're using him - what does that make you? 
<2021-12-10T09:53:49.000Z> TinyFern: Like, all at once? Did a memo get sent out? 
<2021-12-10T09:56:45.000Z> TinyFern: 🤨
<2021-12-10T10:00:21.000Z> TinyFern: If you're being an asshole and don't feel bad about it, is it possible there's other ways in which you're being an asshole as well?
<2021-12-10T10:04:44.000Z> TinyFern: To be honest it's really normal to lose a lot of friends when you move out of educational settings into the real world. You discover that a lot of friendships were built on convenience rather than genuine connection and you need to find out what kinds of people you actually like rather than just those who are around
<2021-12-10T10:05:21.000Z> TinyFern: Volunteering, church and hobby groups are great ways to meet others 
<2021-12-10T10:05:37.000Z> TinyFern: A gun club for example is probably a good way to meet right wingers 
<2021-12-10T10:06:00.000Z> TinyFern: + or - 5 years either way works 
<2021-12-10T10:07:53.000Z> TinyFern: Sounds like a plan
<2021-12-10T10:08:50.000Z> TinyFern: Do shops not exist where you are
<2021-12-10T10:09:22.000Z> TinyFern: Order online 
<2021-12-10T10:09:40.000Z> TinyFern: Worse case you can be Hawaiian shirt guy
<2021-12-10T10:12:34.000Z> TinyFern: Maybe you should make this an adventure. Do a weekend trip to the city and get some post-christmas sales. Bring your sister and/or your mum, try on anything they suggest - stuff looks really different on you compared to on the rack 
<2021-12-10T10:13:22.000Z> TinyFern: Honestly with $200 and some good sales you could have a whole new wardrobe and come across as an entirely different person 
<2021-12-10T10:13:53.000Z> TinyFern: Get new underwear and throw out everything you own that isn't work related or destined to be pjs 
<2021-12-10T10:14:42.000Z> TinyFern: You can be a new you for the new year. Pick an aesthetic you like and do it.
<2021-12-10T10:14:55.000Z> TinyFern: Ok keep the underwear 
<2021-12-10T10:15:25.000Z> TinyFern: But a Trad girl doesn't want a guy who wears metal shirts and emo aesthetic 
<2021-12-10T10:16:24.000Z> TinyFern: Is who you are really tied to wearing a slipknot shirt?
<2021-12-10T10:16:47.000Z> TinyFern: Do you hate the texture of flannel or just the cultural associations?
<2021-12-10T10:17:07.000Z> TinyFern: What look do you like? 
<2021-12-10T10:17:25.000Z> TinyFern: I don't think you like your current look because you're using it as a reason not to do things 
<2021-12-10T10:17:50.000Z> TinyFern: If it's who you are and it's limiting you, maybe you need to change 
<2021-12-10T10:18:48.000Z> TinyFern: Idk do you want a girl who dresses like a feminist most of the week and wears a sundress to church? 
<2021-12-10T10:20:42.000Z> TinyFern: Nah if you like the aesthetic that's great 
<2021-12-10T10:21:08.000Z> TinyFern: Just get a couple of button-up collared shirts and you'll be fine 
<2021-12-10T10:21:23.000Z> TinyFern: I feel like you need a leather jacket instead of the hoodie 
<2021-12-10T10:21:46.000Z> TinyFern: It's a better look 
<2021-12-10T10:22:22.000Z> TinyFern: Also good advice for church/generic style: reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/comments/5da1dc/the_basic_bastard_basic_wardrobe_and_inspiration/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
<2021-12-10T10:22:59.000Z> TinyFern attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/9a38c98bf445d5d811f585d3a239f8d289612ebf7a6c8eb427d8fb2f8b1ee670.gif
<2021-12-10T10:23:12.000Z> TinyFern: You can send pics and blur your face 
<2021-12-10T10:29:17.000Z> TinyFern: Is there a specific person with a look that you admire? I don't mean a stage look, I mean somebody whose everyday style looks clean and good 
<2021-12-10T10:30:27.000Z> TinyFern: Did he move or has he passed? 
<2021-12-10T10:31:22.000Z> TinyFern: I'm sorry to hear that. It's lovely that you're honouring him with your style 
<2021-12-10T10:32:51.000Z> TinyFern: Accessories like a nice jacket and shoes could probably make for an appropriate church dress
<2021-12-10T10:33:22.000Z> TinyFern: If you want to express who you are very consistently then it doesn't make sense to change it all for church
<2021-12-10T10:36:32.000Z> TinyFern: Ok so haircut sounds good then 
<2021-12-10T10:37:04.000Z> TinyFern: My husband has just suggested that dark jeans, boots and a blue button up will probably be nice enough for church and you only need to wear the shirt 
<2021-12-10T10:37:41.000Z> TinyFern: Idk if you want a sense of change you could just buzz your head 
<2021-12-10T10:37:53.000Z> TinyFern: He suggested army disposal boots
<2021-12-10T10:38:19.000Z> TinyFern: Fits the punk aesthetic and suits nicer wear too
<2021-12-10T10:38:46.000Z> TinyFern: Just secondhand combat boots really
<2021-12-10T10:40:14.000Z> TinyFern: I'm cheap so my intuitive move is to suggest you go to a bunch of secondhand stores in the city and get yourself some boots, a blazer, some button ups and a leather jacketThat way they're worn in and not too expensive 
<2021-12-10T10:40:28.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah this is going to involve effort
<2021-12-10T10:41:08.000Z> TinyFern: Do a trip to the city with your sister and get her to help you shop so you don't get bored and give up 
<2021-12-10T10:41:25.000Z> TinyFern: Women love being helpful and love shopping so it's ideal 
<2021-12-10T10:42:06.000Z> TinyFern: Then get a zippered old army jacket instead 
<2021-12-10T10:42:26.000Z> TinyFern: Seriously you will probably find military disposal stores are ideal 
<2021-12-10T10:42:45.000Z> TinyFern: 👍
<2021-12-10T10:43:29.000Z> TinyFern: Go visit her and get her to take you shopping 
<2021-12-10T10:43:57.000Z> TinyFern: Sorry if some of these suggestions are dumb, I don't know enough about your life to know what's practical and what isn't 
<2021-12-10T10:44:23.000Z> TinyFern: Do you mean 3 hours or 15?
<2021-12-10T10:44:43.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah that's a big trip 
<2021-12-10T10:44:54.000Z> TinyFern: Can't fly? 
<2021-12-10T10:46:34.000Z> TinyFern: Ah well 
<2021-12-10T10:46:48.000Z> TinyFern: Guess you've got to do it alone 
<2021-12-10T10:46:57.000Z> TinyFern: outdoorgearcompany.com.au/collections/clothing
<2021-12-10T10:47:16.000Z> TinyFern: Have a look through there and see if any of them appeal
<2021-12-10T10:49:20.000Z> TinyFern: Maybe ask a coworker if you particularly want company? You'd be shocked at how much random women want to help with makeovers. Or see if a guy wants to keep you company for the trip and you can buy him a beer when you're there. I'm sure there's errands other people want to do in the city
<2021-12-10T10:50:02.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah army surplus stuff fits really well into the punk aesthetic 
<2021-12-10T10:50:16.000Z> TinyFern: Idk you've mentioned female co-workers before 
<2021-12-10T10:51:34.000Z> TinyFern: Might have better luck mentioning you're heading over on the weekend and seeing if anybody wants to share the drive and pick anything up 
<2021-12-10T10:51:45.000Z> TinyFern: That sounds good 
<2021-12-10T10:52:04.000Z> TinyFern: Look even if she's married she probably has single friends. It's worth making female connections. 
<2021-12-10T10:52:41.000Z> TinyFern: Just explain that you were a sleep deprived retard and ask for her help 
<2021-12-10T10:52:48.000Z> TinyFern: Women love it when you ask them for help 
<2021-12-10T10:53:28.000Z> TinyFern: Demonstrates self awareness, humility, gratitude, all good qualities in a guy.
<2021-12-10T10:54:09.000Z> TinyFern: I'm kinda dramatic so take this with a very large chunk of salt 
<2021-12-10T10:54:28.000Z> TinyFern: ButYou should buzz your head 
<2021-12-10T10:54:49.000Z> TinyFern: Long stringy hair is not a good look on anybody 
<2021-12-10T10:55:13.000Z> TinyFern: I'm not saying go bald, I'm saying buzz it to like 2cm
<2021-12-10T10:55:40.000Z> TinyFern: When it grows out it will be thicker and have a nicer texture 
<2021-12-10T10:56:16.000Z> TinyFern: No such thing as hair that's too thick 
<2021-12-10T10:56:34.000Z> TinyFern: That's a cope from people with thin hair
<2021-12-10T10:57:23.000Z> TinyFern: Nothing you're saying is convincing me that giving yourself a buzz cut would be a bad idea
<2021-12-10T10:58:24.000Z> TinyFern: Get a black military jacket, some fingerless gloves, some boots, buzz your head and wear your grey jeans 
<2021-12-10T10:58:50.000Z> TinyFern: You can wear a metal shirt underneath 
<2021-12-10T10:59:25.000Z> TinyFern: If the haircut is a bad idea how long will it take to regrow? 
<2021-12-10T11:00:15.000Z> TinyFern: So this will cost you maybe a year of hair growth to move past
<2021-12-10T11:00:56.000Z> TinyFern: Plus if it's a bad idea you will suddenly find people coms out of the woodwork to tell you they like it or they prefer the long hair, which will give you a really good idea of what style makes you look good 
<2021-12-10T11:01:43.000Z> TinyFern: Honestly I've just found that cutting my own hair gives me a sense of control and new purpose, like I'm choosing how I want to face the world
<2021-12-10T11:01:51.000Z> TinyFern: Might just be projecting that onto you 
<2021-12-10T11:02:24.000Z> TinyFern: If you've had really short hair before then it's not a big change or you don't learn anything from it so maybe it won't be useful 🤷
<2021-12-10T11:02:51.000Z> TinyFern: Sure
<2021-12-10T11:05:49.000Z> TinyFern: Ok I get it now 
<2021-12-10T11:05:59.000Z> TinyFern: I see the floof
<2021-12-10T11:06:38.000Z> TinyFern: Idk that's a good length
<2021-12-10T11:06:55.000Z> TinyFern: Do you intend to shave for church?
<2021-12-10T11:08:21.000Z> TinyFern: You might want to buy yourself a cross to complete the aesthetic and remind yourself who you're trying to represent 
<2021-12-10T11:08:59.000Z> TinyFern: A leather wristband with a cross on it, a silver chain or a wooden cross on leather string would all fit aesthetically 
<2021-12-10T11:09:26.000Z> TinyFern: I'd be leaning toward the leather wristband personally, it can be subtle 
<2021-12-10T11:10:33.000Z> TinyFern: google.com/search?q=cross+leather+wristband&client=ms-android-oppo-rev1&prmd=sivxn&sxsrf=AOaemvI8NN05ipk39atMgGC0q3tUEh2IlA:1639134602135&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwizk8udjNn0AhWZIbcAHSq8DGsQ_AUoAnoECAIQAg&biw=360&bih=630&dpr=2
<2021-12-10T11:11:49.000Z> TinyFern: Nice
<2021-12-10T11:12:43.000Z> TinyFern: You don't have to compromise who you are to look good in church. God wants you as you, not a preppy version of the same thing
<2021-12-10T11:13:26.000Z> TinyFern: Have you been to one before? Is everybody else wearing a suit?
<2021-12-10T11:15:08.000Z> TinyFern: Maybe a nice jacket, heavy dark jeans and boots will do it 
<2021-12-10T11:15:30.000Z> TinyFern: Heavy dark jeans because they can pass for slacks
<2021-12-10T11:15:57.000Z> TinyFern: You probably want a plain t shirt underneath
<2021-12-10T11:17:45.000Z> TinyFern: guide.alibaba.com/shopping-guides/army-surplus-jacket.html
<2021-12-10T11:17:54.000Z> TinyFern: Plenty of these would look good 
<2021-12-10T11:18:22.000Z> TinyFern: You can always upgrade further after you've attended for a while and worked out how to make it work 
<2021-12-10T11:19:14.000Z> TinyFern: You will look like yourself but also respectful and have style 
<2021-12-10T11:20:20.000Z> TinyFern: It's amazing how much better you can look just by swapping out a hoodie for a jacket like that. 
<2021-12-10T11:22:15.000Z> TinyFern: I think you've struggled to see how you can become the person you want to be without compromising who you are 
<2021-12-10T11:22:48.000Z> TinyFern: You don't want to be a worker and die alone but don't see how you can get a wife or a purpose 
<2021-12-10T11:24:01.000Z> TinyFern: You don't want to live by worldly standards but don't really know how to live by godly ones either 
<2021-12-10T11:24:39.000Z> TinyFern: It's like losing weight, it feels like you need to change everything at once and suddenly become the kind of person who loves salad and exercise so it seems impossible 
<2021-12-10T11:25:47.000Z> TinyFern: In reality it's just lots of little changes - like a new jacket and boots and a bracelet - which let you move toward who you want to be
<2021-12-10T11:26:15.000Z> TinyFern: Suddenly you're not ashamed to attend church because you're dressed for it 
<2021-12-10T11:26:54.000Z> TinyFern: Suddenly you're not embarrassed to chat up the nurse because you're not focused on telling her about the Tinder checklists you fulfil 
<2021-12-10T11:27:42.000Z> TinyFern: Suddenly you're making friends because you're focused on making and creating in your free time and that means you're more creative and fun the rest of the time 
<2021-12-10T11:28:15.000Z> TinyFern: It will feel like nothing is happening and five years from now you'll look back and feel like it all changed overnight 
<2021-12-10T11:28:56.000Z> TinyFern: Life is funny that way
<2021-12-10T11:30:47.000Z> TinyFern: 👍😊
<2021-12-10T11:31:22.000Z> TinyFern: My husband says this: Tell him to look up the m41 Field jacket (m41 like the gun). You can get it in black
<2021-12-10T11:32:16.000Z> TinyFern: I dunno, I liked the one you picked out earlier more 
<2021-12-10T11:34:07.000Z> TinyFern: That's pretty cool but probably not as church appropriate as the earlier one 
<2021-12-10T11:34:49.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah I think that's closer to it 
<2021-12-10T11:36:42.000Z> TinyFern: Idk there's heaps of options 
<2021-12-10T11:38:09.000Z> TinyFern: I think he meant the plainer style which would be formal enough for church 
<2021-12-10T11:38:23.000Z> TinyFern attached file https://i.poastcdn.org/151ec6eb58e39c65ff9f420ff15792005abd4d1c5824abce3fa7792aa5e7d973.jpeg
<2021-12-10T11:38:49.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah the second one looks really good 
<2021-12-10T11:39:08.000Z> TinyFern: I think stick with your picks 
<2021-12-10T11:40:42.000Z> TinyFern: Might be worth a quick trip to the city this weekend to see if there's any in the supply stores there 
<2021-12-10T11:41:12.000Z> TinyFern: They'd probably be cheaper without paying for postage and you can check fit and material quality etc 
<2021-12-10T11:42:28.000Z> TinyFern: Yeah it's specifically military surplus 
<2021-12-10T11:42:46.000Z> TinyFern: I don't know if there's any in your local city, might be worth researching what's available 
<2021-12-10T11:42:53.000Z> TinyFern: You might have to order online 
<2021-12-10T11:44:43.000Z> TinyFern: ☹️
<2021-12-10T11:49:49.000Z> TinyFern: 👍
<2021-12-10T11:54:04.000Z> TinyFern: Happy to help 
<2021-12-10T11:54:10.000Z> TinyFern: 😊
<2021-12-10T11:55:33.000Z> TinyFern: No worries 
<2021-12-10T11:56:02.000Z> TinyFern: I'd recommend reading Corinthians this week if you can, maybe try a chapter a day. 
<2021-12-27T18:33:25.000Z> TinyFern: I dm'd zyra but no replyI don't think the thread approach is working all that well tbh 
<2021-12-27T18:34:02.000Z> Chance: That's unfortunate. Maybe she will come around. Idk. You can't force people. 
<2021-12-27T18:35:49.000Z> TinyFern: 😢
<2021-12-27T18:36:20.000Z> Chance: She was pretty cooperative about other things. I think the God thing is much more deep seated so it may just take time idk
<2022-03-06T06:43:12.000Z> TinyFern: Ok I made a new matrix 
<2022-03-06T06:43:18.000Z> TinyFern: What do
<2022-03-06T06:44:55.000Z> TinyFern: Username is MaryArty
<2022-03-06T06:45:25.000Z> TinyFern: Hey, talk to me on Element: matrix.to/#/@maryarty:matrix.org
<2022-03-06T06:59:57.000Z> Chance: i am getting unknown errors
<2022-03-06T07:02:12.000Z> Chance: DM the other guy your matrix username @SuT5CH3gFe26TCFR i think
<2022-03-11T21:27:22.000Z> TinyFern: If you want, we can be prayer buddies. I'll write it on my arm too and pray for you every time I see it 
<2022-03-11T21:30:26.000Z> TinyFern: Cost of admission is I want a pic of it on your arm. Make it fancy if you want, tell people it's a tattoo trial to see what design you want
<2022-03-11T21:30:53.000Z> TinyFern: Yes, this is me peer pressuring you. The demon is pressuring you in the other direction, I'm just providing balance 
<2022-03-12T01:22:53.000Z> Chance: i have it written on my hand
<2022-03-12T01:23:40.000Z> Chance: i dont have a market and the pen wouldnt work on my arm. so hand it was
<2022-03-13T05:23:51.000Z> TinyFern: 👍
<2022-04-04T00:11:47.000Z> Chance: Idk if you really care but here's a little update on my whole 3d printing stuff https://i.poastcdn.org/f9b3f8109161aa3c7f8f513d3f2efb46f03bb6fc794b36ad47d860ade1a84a00.jpg
<2022-04-04T00:14:39.000Z> Chance: technically fuctional prototype. need to clean up the power plug situation
<2022-04-04T22:18:15.000Z> TinyFern: That's fantastic! Amazing work, it looks great!!! 
<2022-04-04T22:19:50.000Z> TinyFern: I'm really impressed that you managed to put a project together while working the hours you do 
<2022-04-04T22:19:59.000Z> TinyFern: You're doing a great job 
<2022-04-04T22:20:26.000Z> TinyFern: It's all gonna be worth it. If nothing else you're forging yourself into a stronger person with more to offer
<2022-04-04T22:20:40.000Z> TinyFern: I'm proud of you man
<2022-04-05T06:10:52.000Z> Chance: It's super rough. The wiring is awful. It also got delayed because I needed tools. But a few mods and it will be good. I also have the prints finished for a second light. Totally different idea using a completely different system. I'll share that when I get a working one. I have a non lighting prototype printed for fitment testing. I just need to print the real thing and wire it. 
<2022-04-05T06:13:37.000Z> Chance: I suppose I should have started with a "thank you" of some sort before my novel. Sorry. Thank you 
<2022-04-05T22:20:13.000Z> TinyFern: 👑👍
<2022-04-06T20:50:38.000Z> Chance: so the doc gave me SSRI anti-depressants 
<2022-04-06T20:50:42.000Z> Chance: i think
<2022-04-06T21:10:48.000Z> Chance: idk. what do you think?
<2022-04-07T12:39:42.000Z> TinyFern: I would think that chemical solutions are a band-aid which might help you through difficult transitions, but if you're not transitioning anywhere then you'll just be on them forever 
<2022-04-07T12:40:12.000Z> TinyFern: What structural changes are you planning to make in your life which the SSRIs will help you through? 
<2022-04-07T18:16:28.000Z> Chance: idk. im just trying to figure out what to do. i plan on taking a week vacation to see my sister. she has a good community and such going. but as for permanent solutions i am still lost. i am looking for other jobs right now. but nothing that could happen immediately
<2022-04-07T20:04:56.000Z> TinyFern: You need to go to confession and pour your heart out and ask your priest what he thinks 
<2022-04-07T20:14:57.000Z> TinyFern: There's a lot of factors here 
<2022-04-07T20:15:12.000Z> TinyFern: You probably need to make an appointment for a long discussion 
<2022-04-07T20:15:22.000Z> TinyFern: You need spiritual guidance 
<2022-04-07T20:26:33.000Z> Chance: There's a catholic counseling therapy place in the city. I'm working on going there. But I'm getting hot with bills right now and that stuffs expensive. I can do it. I just have to buckle down. I will go. Hopefully sooner than later
<2022-04-07T20:28:08.000Z> TinyFern: Nah mate your priest should be able to have a listen and help you out as a one off 
<2022-04-07T20:28:15.000Z> TinyFern: That's what they're there for 
<2022-04-07T20:29:24.000Z> TinyFern: Also we can have a phone call through telegram sometime today if you want (it's early morning for me right now, I mean sometime in the next 12 hours in whatever your time zone is)
<2022-04-07T21:28:48.000Z> Chance: I won't be available for another 11 to 12 hours. By then I'll be wacked out and loopy from sleep deprivation. So idk. I'm not too confident in my priests ability in this. He's still a really be priest. Maybe a few years in. I talked to him before about stuff. Not to much help. 
<2022-04-07T21:37:29.000Z> TinyFern: Fair comment 
<2022-04-07T21:37:45.000Z> TinyFern: Let me know when is a good time and I'll try to be available 
<2022-04-07T21:38:01.000Z> TinyFern: I don't get DM notifications so @ me in a post 
<2022-04-07T22:19:10.000Z> Chance: I'll think about it. I'm pretty swamped this weekend. Like I know I need 2 things. New job. And community. If I had community I could put up with a bad job. But I can't have no community and a bad job at the same time. So I need to move. I just don't know where to move. Except out with my sister. But she's in a densely populated liberal hellscape that happens to also have a small trad community in it. 
<2022-04-16T08:39:36.000Z> Chance: so idk what happened. but this past week ive been feeling a lot better. i went on a retreat last friday through saturday and i think it helped. i kind of forgot poast existed so ive just been doing my own thing. but i thought id update you since you have been so nice to me
<2022-04-16T08:40:02.000Z> Chance: i also got a prototype of another project done  https://i.poastcdn.org/adc290237c41878a790118a7dd88fdd1c7f2c49d623fa1ecf9577a64f7d48ef2.png
<2022-04-16T23:26:23.000Z> TinyFern: That's lovely, I'm really glad to hear it
<2022-04-16T23:26:35.000Z> TinyFern: That looks really cool btw 
<2022-04-17T07:09:54.000Z> Chance: my little group is quite nice. my parents. and 2 other married couples with kids. and the priest. 
<2022-04-17T07:10:03.000Z> Chance: and then theres me. 22 year old single guy
<2022-04-17T07:10:13.000Z> Chance: i dont fit there really. but somehow it works
<2022-04-18T08:38:56.000Z> TinyFern: You can fit without being the same 
<2022-04-19T04:11:47.000Z> Chance: I'm getting more projects done in the last week than in the past month. I've made so much progress on the designs. 
<2022-04-19T06:41:16.000Z> TinyFern: That's fantastic! Obviously that retreat has really helped clear your head. Maybe stay off Poast, keep chatting to the retreat group, and pray when you can - it's helping! 
<2022-04-19T08:10:22.000Z> Chance: i only use post to DM like 3 people. poast is one of my least favorite instances